We have some big players today. Former Amateur Offerings contestants who made some noise. Some people who have done well in contests. And writers whose scripts I’ve personally read and know them to be good. So I expect this weekend to be a hard-fought competition. You know the rules. Read as much as you can from each script and vote for your favorite in the comments section. The script with the most votes gets a review next week!
And if you believe you have a screenplay that’s better than anything Hollywood is making at the moment, submit it for a future Amateur Offerings! Send me a PDF of your script, along with the title, genre, logline, and why you think people should read it (your chance to pitch yourself or your story). All submissions should be sent to Carsonreeves3@gmail.com.
Title: The Last Statesman
Genre: Dramedy
Logline: An old and cranky local politician goes publicly bananas in an effort to draw attention to an important social issue. This inadvertently puts the career of his son, the Governor of California, at risk.
Why You Should Read: This is a character driven dramedy with a lot of funny moments mixed in with an important social mission. Our hero knows he is in the last inning of life and is going to go out swinging even at the risk of damaging his own political legacy and ruining his son’s chance of building his own . So, yeah – he’s a a bit of an asshole. But an asshole you will root for.
Title: The Last Ride To Midnight
Genre: Action-Adventure
Pitch: “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid set in WW2”
Logline: As Hitler nears completion of his own nuclear bomb, two American spies pose as Nazi officers in a desperate bid to locate and destroy Germany’s secret nuclear facility.
Why You Should Read: This script has certainly been around the block a few times over the last year. It was read by the head of UCLA’s screenwriting department and referred from there to more contacts. It made it into the semi-finals of the Big Break contest. And most of the feedback throughout all that time was pretty good. But something was missing. It never seemed to gain the momentum required to reach the finish line.
So, I decided to tear it apart. AGAIN! I wanted to lean it out. I wanted the reader to be more involved. Instead paragraph after paragraph of detail, I tried to just keep it simple; allow the reader to put two and two together. It’s a new style for me but I think it really punches up the story and engages those reading it.
My goal with this script has always been to write a WW2 story that’s fun, action-packed, comical at times, but also explores the reality that these two men must address when faced with the question “Does the end justify the means”. Hopefully this draft accomplishes all of that. Thanks and good luck to everyone else.
Title: Deadlock
Genre: Period/Action
Logline: Pennsylvania, 1780. A veteran haunted by his past takes one last shot at redemption when he hides an injured patriot from British pursuers; but, when the man is discovered a standoff erupts threatening the only thing the veteran has left to lose: his son.
Why You Should Read:
1) It’s a very fast 92 pages.
2) I researched the dialog meticulously using 18th century dictionaries; so, the characters’ voices are unique, accurate, and nuanced.
3) Six characters. One location. This allows producers to make an action-packed period piece for a very small price tag.
Title: Falling Stars
Genre: Drama
Logline: A young heroin addict falls in love with her sponsor, as a looming drug test threatens to send her to rehab.
Why You Should Read: This script came out of a desire to tell a drug addiction story that ended with a sense of hope. That a person can get better if they really want to and that their situation isn’t necessarily a death-sentence. I’m a big fan of Requiem for a Dream, Trainspotting and Panic in Needle Park, and they were kind of the jumping-off point for my telling of this story. But they, like so many other drug addiction films, all seem to end in this downward spiral of futility. I know that’s the reality for so many people out there, but it doesn’t have to be. And movies are supposed to be a reflection of the world we want, if not necessarily the one we have, aren’t they? You’ve read one of my scripts before (for my silent samurai film, Onna-bugeisha) and you seemed to enjoy my writing style, despite the lack of dialog, but I assure you, the characters speak in this one. I hope you enjoy!
Title: Captain Susan: Pirate Queen (and all powerful master she-bitch from the furthermost reaches of hell)
Genre: Adventure Comedy
Logline: When a young woman with #metoo anger-related issues hits her head and believes she’s a pirate queen, she acts out on a group of hapless guys in an attempt to even the score.
Why You Should Read: This script began life as Let’s Be Famous, which was featured on Scriptshadow in August of 2017. It was basically a story which started as one idea and then veered into another and SS notes reflected that there was a disconnect. The feedback was spot on and made me realize my main character had gone off the rails after the midpoint without a proper set-up for her behavior.
The odd behavior of my character in the back half became the most interesting aspect of the story to me, so, I embraced it and discovered there was a #metoo component already present, which only needed to be developed. The revision resulted in Captain Susan: Pirate Queen, a story about an angry young women who acts out on a somewhat innocuous group of guys. I’ve tried to tackle the #metoo movement in an unexpected way and rather than have men be the bad guys, show how we all need to recognize when we act badly and try to remedy those behaviors. I also wanted to write something a tad darker than my usual fare and although no one dies in this story many, many spankings are given.
Susan was a tricky character to write, she might not be entirely sympathetic, but hopefully I’ve made her compelling enough for an audience to want to follow.
I hope you enjoy this new version and a big thank you to Carson and others who gave me notes on Lets Be Famous. I guarantee you’ll see evidence that I was listening.
