This is your chance to discuss the week’s amateur scripts, offered originally in the Scriptshadow newsletter. The primary goal for this discussion is to find out which script(s) is the best candidate for a future Amateur Friday review. The secondary goal is to keep things positive in the comments with constructive criticism.
Below are the scripts up for review, along with the download links. Want to receive the scripts early? Head over to the Contact page, e-mail us, and “Opt In” to the newsletter.
TITLE: HOT MESS
GENRE: Contained Thriller/ Satire
LOGLINE: “A selfish starlet wakes up trapped in a portable toilet… Held captive by a deranged paparazzo, intent on filming her last 15 minutes of fame.”
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: This script was conceived for twit-pitch, and after missing the cut it went into a major overhaul. You were among the first to provide notes on the early rewrites, at the time calling it “surprisingly layered for a premise like this,” and as a satire on the state of Hollywood starlets, “brilliant.” Over the past 18 months of rewrites I’ve received a humbling amount of positive notes from a half-dozen of the SS faithful, including (most recently) Matty and your own Missus. A glutton for the guts of a story, I even crawled down into the cave and kicked a sleeping Grendl, for some carnivorous criticism. So let’s just say there’s no more fat on these bones, as it weighs in a full 15 pages shorter than the draft you had deemed “a fast freaking read… and I mean really fast!”
TITLE: Man Cave
LOGLINE: Three downtrodden buddies lie to their overbearing wives and set off on a quest to watch the big game, but their journey goes awry when the women discover their plan and hunt them down.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: Sometimes a dude just wants to take a night off from the wife and/or kids. Meet up with his bros. Have a beer. Watch the game. And sometimes the wife and/or kids do not want that to happen. This is the story of a few friends who try anyway. God help them.
TITLE: Orion’s Flight
LOGLINE: When a governmental Space Station gets taken by a terrorist organisation its once headstrong Architect must escape upon learning that the terrorists have also captured her disabled husband back on earth.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: I’m going to pitch this as ALIEN MEETS DIE HARD in that a strong female protagonist is trapped on a space station while trying to avoid/defeat a stronger, better equipped foe. This wasn’t written to win Oscars or Nicholl contests, but to entertain those seeking an adrenaline rush and a bit of fun.
LOGLINE: A psychopathic survivalist lures his neighbors into his secret bunker when the national power grid goes down.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT: Are you and your family prepared to survive for weeks or months on end if the grid goes down and all the stores close? Like most movie going Americans, our hero, Bobby Murphy and his loving family weren’t ready for societal collapse and soon found themselves at the mercy of those who were like our villian Ray McKlusky. I would describe Ray as Hannibal Lecter meets the Joker at Duck Dynasty’s house. Like many of you, I have been at this for many years passionately honing my skills. While Prepper may appear to be just a popcorn flick/script, it was crafted with care and profoundly inspired.