Conviction

Posted on June 19, 2009 | by admin

Genre: Action/Heist (sort of)
Premise: A bank robber must go undercover to sell out his old partner.
About: For those of you with sharp memories, Herman wrote the impressive Rites of Men, which I reviewed a couple of weeks ago. Loved that script. But it was Conviction, his bank heist screenplay, that was his first sale. The second I finished Rites, I went searching for this one.
Writer: Johnathan Herman

It should be mentioned that no one actually wears a ski mask in Conviction

Herman is such a good writer that he almost saves this. Almost. But instead of a tight thriller in the vein of Rites Of Men, we get an unfocused bank heist film that doesn’t quite know what it wants to be.

Patrick is the king of all bank robbers. He’s got a special system down, one that doesn’t even require a gun, which allows him to steal a good chunk of that Federal stimulus package all the banks seem to be hoarding. His partner in crime (literally) is “Bomb,” a 20 year old kid who Patrick plucked from the ghetto when he was 15, and spent the following years mentoring and training to be the best bank robber without a gun evvvverrr. After a little make-up action, the two calmly walk into a bank, threaten one of the customer service reps using pictures and details of the their family, and get a special escort right into the vault.

But today’s heist does not go well. That’s because their over-caffeinated dimwitted driver freaks out at the site of a guard and blasts him to pieces. Retaliatory shots are fired, people start dying, and poor Patrick is hit bad enough that he’s on the street lying in a pool of his own blood. Bomb tries to grab him but the sirens are in the distance and Patrick tells him to go. “Go!” Bomb’s loyal to the end but he’s not stupid. Taking his cue from GTA, he steps on the gas and leaves poor Patrick to the sharks.

Flash forward a few weeks and Patrick is in the hospital, then in court, then in jail. It’s not all bad though. He’s eligible for parole when he turns 110. Five years go by (in the form of a fadeout) and Special Agent Plant pays Patrick a visit. Apparently, Bomb’s become a Heist superstar, the P. Diddy of robbing banks. He’s perfected Patrick’s methods and even added a few twists of his own. Intel says Bomb’s gearing up for something big. ‘Explosion’ big. And there’s only one man in the world who can stop him – the man who knows him best. Plant offers Patrick freedom if he’ll go undercover and take down Bomb – his best friend. Duh-duh-duhhhhhhhhhh. There’s nothing worse than selling out your BFF, but Patrick can’t resist the opportunity to be with his baby girl again. He accepts.

I don’t know about you but this all felt a little….B-Movie to me. Like something Ice-T or Common would play the lead in. The choices aren’t bad. They’re just uninspired. I have something called “The Straighten Up.” It’s when something happens in a script that’s so cool or so interesting that I straighten up before I continue reading. An “impressive” usually gets at least 2 Straighten Ups. And a “worth the read” usually has 1. But I was slogged down in my couch for the entirety of Conviction. And that’s too bad cause I was really looking forward to this.

Where are the problems? Well I knew the script was in trouble when I had to post a genre and I couldn’t figure out what to put. Is it a drama? A thriller? An action film? A heist film? It could be any one of those, and yet at one point or another it’s all of them. My biggest frustration was figuring out where Herman was going with all this. We get these weird flashbacks where Patrick first meets Bomb and we see him teaching him and helping him and they’re just so…unnecessary. Even Herman seems to think they don’t work cause he stops using them halfway through the script. And it’s not like the great Lawrence Fishburne movie, Deep Cover, since Patrick really doesn’t spend a lot of time “undercover” at all. We never really feel like we’re inside Bomb’s world. And maybe that’s because it never was Bomb’s world. It was Patrick’s. So it’s hard to believe that Bomb’s the one now in control. /Sigh…

I love Herman as a writer but this one fell flat for me. It needed direction. It needed an identity. I’m hoping the rewrites accomplish this.

[ ] trash
[x] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

WHAT I LEARNED: Conviction was a good reminder to flesh out all your characters, even the supporting ones. Agent Plant is so obsessed with work, his private life is non-existent. He’s forced to pay for hookers just to experience human interaction. Another one of the agents has a father with Alzheimer’s, and we can see how much this weighs on her. These are bit players and although Herman doesn’t spend too much time on them, he gives us just enough to show that they’re real people. I’ve been discussing this with a lot of writers lately because it’s an area that’s easily overlooked. But in almost all of the professional screenplays I read, the characters from top to bottom are packed with depth. I don’t think that’s an accident.

Posted in Action/Adventure, Wasn't For Me
  • Anonymous

    I think the biggest problem with this script – for me – was Agent Plant turning into some maniacal villain in the end. Instead of playing him Tommy Lee Jones a la The Fugitive cool all the way, it descends into an over the top Russell Mulchay/Ricochet type B movie action thingie. The writing is sharp, no doubt – but the last act is a mess. What "Heat" does so successfully is reduce the scale of the film in the last act (with the biggest set piece being the center piece of the film – the downtown shoot-out) and making it a more intimate thriller, with De Niro trying to get out of town and Pacino waiting for him to screw-up one more time – and De Niro's quest for revenge bringing him down in the end. But it's all done on an intimate scale – with a one on one foot chase across the airfield in the end. No cop armies or shoot-outs with the bad guys. Just down to two people. And that's what Conviction should have reduced itself to in the end. I agree with you that Rites of Men is a better script – but it also suffers from the big bang ending set piece that is just too chaotic and scattered. Herman needs to downsize as he's going into the final stretch (as do most Hollywood movies). Just my two cents.

  • Carson Reeves

    Great take Anon.

  • Carson Reeves

    Either the comments have ceased working completely (possible) or Conviction is not getting a lot of love.

  • wFavaro

    I don't think many are going to be able to make it to the end of this one…

  • martinb

    This is a big, meaty script with plenty happening. I rate it better than RITES OF MEN. As it happens, I've just finished reading the script of THE STING, and for me this movie had the same wheels-within-wheels vibe, with more horsepower. The big action scenes in particular are impressive (but expensive to do). And Paul Newman would have been perfect in the role of Patrick.

    The movie takes its time to get going, allowing it to build up the character depth Carson notes, and that is its strength. It's a heist movie, but not a silly, fun, OCEAN'S XX type heist — no, it's serious. This movie has gravitas. Which is spoiled a bit at the end by the mania Anonymous notes, and I hope they tone things down as Anon suggests.

    I rate it "impressive."

  • Anonymous

    Martin, glad you liked it. :)

    -Carson

  • Jim Endecott

    Sorry about the above erroneous post…

    I think the writing was pretty dang good. Some formatting issue here and there but who cares?

    I thought the story played really well. Felt like there was a hole with the wife. I would have been PISSED if my wife got out of jail and laid the gun toating adventure on me and my daughter… but hey it's Hollywood.

    I think the wife should have had a louder voice and really turned up the heat on Patrick.

    Someone needs to send this script to Suge Knight cause this story is BEGGIN for some Rapper "stars"… oh and Steven Seagal. Oh the title needs to be three words. "Conviction of Blood" or "Conviction Till Death" Willem Defoe could phone in the part of Plant and still rock it.

    Still I see why this was picked up. Long and a bit clunky at times but it kept me interested.

    -Jim

  • Anonymous

    wFavaro is right – this is a tough one to read through to completion. Maybe I say this because it's so late out here on the east coast but it was pretty damn late a few nights ago when I read "Dead Loss" and that kept me interested till the end.

    I dunno, I think you're right, Carson. Herman doesn't seem to know what he's going for here. Of course I haven't finished the damn thing but I feel there's something UNEVEN about it. Is it a heist movie for grownups or an action piece for the kids?

  • Anonymous

    So I think the script is great, and I'd like to see Mr. Clooney in it.

    Minor notes:

    -Have the second act all be Patrick's plan. He works at it in the prison, and his wife is in it. Find some way to establish a secret code between Bobby and Patrick Anthea cannot suspect of / understand.

    -Nobody dies in the robbery [Felicia].

    -The robbery reminds me from too close that in "The Heat." Try and make as different as possible from that movie [cut the assault rifles? Think of something else?]

    -Also I think I've seen the Escaladas thing already [multiple, identical vehicles used as decoy for the chasers.] Is there any way to find another way? Some strange vehicles? A gigantic Hovercraft? Find something amazing. What about BigFoot trucks squashing the commuters' vehicles and getting rid of the traffic jam that way?

    -Never bought that Plant could kill one of his men. This is a war between professionals.

    -Althea being Patricks' "Wheel." This is also forced. She belongs to the law. She would never do something like that. Maybe close an eye, but that's too much for her to do I think.

    -Tone down a bit the fireworks in the end. After the 18 wheeler explodes [is there any need for it to explode? It has already done its job.] It would be a good breather if we saw the Tahoe driving peacefully away in the traffic. Then the scene at the shipyard.

    -Plant in the hands of Bobby's gang. It's too obvious. They should not kill him, it's Patrick's order. He will get what he deserves from his superiors. [Scene where they arrive at the shipyard hours later only to find that the ship is already disappeared? They only find Plant, alive but tied to a barber's chair amidst the loading dock?]

    -Pacific Palisades Alzheimer Center. Nice, obbligatory touch.

    M.

  • Anonymous

    I almost forgot –

    The title.

    It really sucks IMHO.

    M.

  • Anonymous

    Comments by M. are either brilliant satire or he's a studio exec in the making. First he says the script is "Great" then proceeds to make a number of suggestions that would drastically alter the tone, style and energy of the film. Monster trucks? Hovercraft? Nobody dies in the shootout? Really? As if this script was already B-movie enough. I'll give M. the benefit of doubt and believe he was making fun of studio notes. Otherwise…Uhhmm. Well. This script was pretty bad and only a page 1 rewrite can save it.

  • Anonymous

    "… or he's a studio exec in the making."

    Wow. Thanks for that much consideration.

    Really. I'm flattered. ;)

    M.

  • WFavaro

    M,

    Would you have liked it if Superman Returns featured a giant spider?

  • Anonymous

    With Kryptonite poison?

    But I'm digressing…

    Point is, IMO, "Conviction" needs two things:

    A) Patrick needs to be proactive throughout the second act. The plan is his own baby. Patrick is the mind. Bobby and the gang are the hands.

    B) The movie reminds me from too close of "Heat", hence it needs an effort to move it away from the "Heat" stereotype. I merely suggested "whammers" to punch up the trite same-old shootout —
    Having only wounded agents and no casualties, it would underline all the more Patrick's ability as the [unlawful] strategist — a modern Odysseus**, who can develop a majestic plan with no killing — it's his creed after all: no "pieces" around –

    C) Script needs a better title.

    But again, it's just my opinion.

    [** = Don't kill me for the comparison with the King of Ithaca, please.]

    M.

  • Anonymous

    I tend to agree that the script went off the rails in the last third. That said, it's a great read and thoroughly redeemable with a few rewrites. Perhaps turning the theft of the 16m into the final act, removing some of the psychopathic aspects of Agent Plant and dropping the body count. Go for less "Heat" and more of an Elmore Leonard aspect.

  • yeebarr

    M,

    Maybe they could rename this "Fast and Furious 5", put in a few more car chases and be done with it? :)

    I agree with Carson – not enough action for an action film, not enough danger towards the main character to be a thriller, not enough tension between the two leads ("I love you man" "No I love you more") to be a drama. Might have worked if this was made in the 80's though.

    Will have to read "Rites of Men" now to compare.

  • Anonymous

    Bad title- unforgettable title. But good read. Well done.

  • Anonymous

    Dumb question, but the dialogue really rings true to gang bangers. Where did Herman pull this from? Did he grow up around this stuff or did he have help?

  • Seslimeydan

    Thank you for the information your provide. sesli chat Sohbette kalite
    SesliSohbet Seslide kalite Sesli Sohbet Sende gel dunyamiza Sesli Chat KatilSesli Chat siteleriBizi mutlu edersin.sesliAlemSesli SohbetburdaSesli ChatSesli sohbetteSesli SohbetSeNSesli ChatGelSesli SohbetAramizaSesli ChatkatilSesli SohbetbizimleSesli Chat en güzelini Sesli Sohbet yasayacaksın Sesli Chat Hadi Sesli SohbetbekliyorumSesli ChatSeniSesli sohbet siteleriArkadasliklarSesli şehir burda
    Seslişehir kurulur avsa avsa Sende SesliChatgel
    SesliSohbetarkadasiniSeslisohbet siteleribulSesliChat sitelerigelecen misesli chatthansk admin.
    SesliChat sitesi gel yanimizaSesli Chat sitesi bekliyorum.

  • FeNaaa
  • travesti
  • xx
  • ircscorpion
  • Baranjik
  • kenaN_
  • sikis
  • ilizyonist

    Türkiye'de yaşayan travesti veya trv kısaltması olarakta kullanılan üçüncü cinsin temsilcilerini daha yakından tanımak isteyen ziyaretçilere travesti siteleri'ni tanıtmak istiyorum. Travestiler;mersin travestileri, antalya travestileri, bursa travestileri, istanbul travestileri, ankara travestileri olarak kategorilere ayrılmış sitelerimizde özellikle ülkemizin en yoğun şehriistanbul travestileri, travesti yaşamının büyük bir bölümünü oluşturuyor. Travesti karşı cinsin özelliklerini tam anlamıyla taşımasada kendini öyle hisseden, karşı cins gibi giyinip hareket eden ameliyat olmamış kişidir. Travesti arkadaşlarla tanışmak isteyenleri yukarıda verdiğim kategorilere göre arayabilirsiniz. Üklemizde de diğer avrupa ülkelerinde olduğu gibi vip travesti hizmeti veren ve vip travesti özelliklerine sahip olan birçok travesti bulmak mümkün.Escort bayan gibi escort travesti hizmeti sunan birçok travesti'ye rastlayabilirsiniz. Farklı sitelerdeki travesti vip sitelerini verdiğim adreslerde rahatlıkla bulabilir, travesti resimleri'ni profillerini inceleyebilirsiniz.travesti'

  • hakan
Archives
  • ►2013 (137)
  • ►2012 (277)
  • ►2011 (291)
  • ►2010 (324)
  • ►2009 (350)