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Last week, one of the greatest moments in Scriptshadow history occurred. If you missed it, we introduced….

THE FRIDAY SHORT SCREENPLAY MINI-COMPETITION (a.k.a. “Making screenwriting great again”)

The contest took the world by storm, with every major media outlet weighing in on it. Here are some of the reactions from that historic day:

Anderson Cooper: “Who is this man? This man who has changed the landscape of screenwriting in a single day?”

Megyn Kelly: “The world may be falling apart. But Scriptshadow continues to bring people together.”

Brian Williams: “While other screenwriting sites continue to engage with Russia, Scriptshadow demonstrates how to be a true American hero.”

To remind those of you who’ve forgotten how I changed the course of history, last week I had a weekend short script competition whereby the only rule was that you had to use TWO of my “Best Bang For Your Buck” screenwriting tools, which I had written an article about the previous day.

Well, we’re doing the same thing today. The only difference is that you have to use two of the five NEW “Best Bang For Your Buck” tools that I wrote about yesterday. For those who are too lazy to click the link, those tools are…

1) A character who wants something.
2) Suspense.
3) The magic of an unresolved issue.
4) Things don’t go according to plan.
5) High stakes for every character.

Post your short in the comments (you can write it inside the comment or include a PDF link). Page count is open but I recommend staying under 5 pages. Whichever short gets the most up-votes by Sunday 10pm Pacific Time will be the winner, and receive a FREE FIRST 10 PAGES consultation on any feature or pilot you’re working on.

Also, for those who’ve forgotten, we have a much bigger OFFICIAL SHORT SCREENPLAY COMPETITION coming up. You still have about a month until the deadline. And with that competition, Scriptshadow will be producing the winning short film, which will debut here on the site. So consider this a chance to practice.

Get to work and good luck!

NOTE: MAKE SURE TO SORT COMMENTS BY “NEWEST” SO YOU CAN SEE ALL THE NEW SHORTS THAT COME IN.

  • Erica

    Hat trick!

    Hehehe, love the first part of the article!, Well time to get busy.

    Oh an for the record now, anyone who doesn’t like my scripts I’m going to call them “Faux Critics”

    • hickeyyy

      Alternative critics, perhaps?

  • hickeyyy

    I guess I’ll start the fun.

    Title: THEY ARE HERE
    Elements: Suspense, Unresolved Issue (iffy), Plan Gets Fucked, High Stakes.

    https://www.sendspace.com/file/takh8z

    • r.w. hahn

      I’d say you started the fun alright….good stuff hickeyyy. I rather enjoyed that…uh oh..gotta go…they’re here!

      • hickeyyy

        Thanks!

  • r.w. hahn

    Tossing my marble into this circle
    Title: Harmless
    Genre: Horror
    I would say 1) Character wants something, 2)Suspense,4)Things don’t go according to plan

    https://www.sendspace.com/file/a1lbdr

    • hickeyyy

      Nice and creepy. I enjoyed that. I think this could work a bit better with less dialogue, and would also shorten it to be the 5 page.

      • r.w. hahn

        Thanks Hickeyyy. I think it’s 5 pages 6 with Title page

  • ThomasBrownen

    It turns out that writing a short is a great way to procrastinate! So how about this…

    Title: YOU DON’T FIND LOVE IN A COFFEE SHOP

    https://www.sendspace.com/file/2jbr2t

    Genre: Comedy

    Logline: A young woman bursts into a dry cleaning shop with an unusual request.

  • Nick Morris
  • Wijnand Krabman

    I did this one a couple of days ago and magically included four of five ‘tools’ in it

    FADE IN

    EXT. DESERT ROAD – SUNRISE

    First sunlight turns the sky purple. A road runs through a desert landscape. Next to a cactus sits a bleak cow skull.
    A CAR drives in frame, we see its backlights disappear in the distance.

    INT./EXT. CAR – CONTINUOUS

    MICHELLE (24) blonde, beautiful, somewhat breakable is driving. The car’s ashtray is filled with a pile of ash that looks like a scale model of the Vesuvius.

    Above the ashtray, we see a picture of a handsome young man.

    Michelle’s gray eyes scan the road, she looks like she’s been crying. She thrusts her right arm backwards. Her fingers searching in a big bag on the backseat.
    As her hand comes out holding an empty cigarette package she shouts in despair.

    MICHELLE
    FUCK!

    A handsome, Brad Pitt look a like man is standing beside the road, he is wearing a cowboy hat, a jeans and a shirt. Next to him a BIG BROWN BAG. A MACHETE is sticking out.

    Michelle’s car is approaching fast. She notices the man standing there.

    The car stops with squeaking tires. The man waits for her to open the window. It doesn’t happen. Note: the car windows are manual operated.
    If she makes a gesture he quickly opens the door.

    BRAD
    Hi, I’m Brad can you give me a ride?

    MICHELLE
    Do you smoke?

    Brad nods.

    MICHELLE (CONT’D)
    OK, hop in.

    They pull away. Brad looks at her, notices the ash pile and the picture on the dash. He smiles.

    MICHELLE (CONT’D)
    Do you have a fag?

    Brad produces a package of Marlboro and takes a cigarette out, he gently pushes it between her lips. He takes a lighter and lights the cigarette.
    Michelle inhales greedy. Brad lights a cigarette himself.

    BRAD
    Having a bad day?

    Michelle takes a deep breath and then turns her gray eyes to Brad. There seems to be no live left in her gaze.

    MICHELLE
    Why do you think so?

    Brad shrugs.

    BRAD
    Don’t know, you seem to be a little sad?

    MICHELLE
    Maybe I am.

    Silence follows. Michelle stares in front of her. Brad check’s her out seeing her perfect legs, her breasts under her tight T-shirt.

    BRAD
    It could help talk about it.

    MICHELLE
    To you? You seem to me a perfect stranger I just met you 5 minutes ago.

    BRAD
    That means we have no history.

    MICHELLE
    And probably no future as well.

    BRAD
    That we don’t know.

    MICHELLE
    I know.

    Brad smiles, he likes some competition.

    BRAD
    Excuse me for being nosy. Are you having problems with your boyfriend?

    MICHELLE
    (laughs)
    Why do think so?

    BRAD
    That’s always the case.

    MICHELLE
    Seriously?

    BRAD
    Yeah, I can beat him up if you like?

    MICHELLE
    That won’t help me much I guess.

    Brad laughs.

    BRAD
    I can’t understand him…

    MICHELLE
    Why not, you are a man aren’t you?

    BRAD
    Making a beautiful woman cry…

    MICHELLE
    Give me another fag.

    He gives her another cigarette.

    BRAD
    Boy, you smoke a lot.

    MICHELLE
    I guess I’m addicted?

    Brad lights a cigarette himself. Michelle looks at him.

    BRAD
    Cigarettes, I like the taste of smoke and sex.

    He looks at her to see a reaction.

    MICHELLE
    Please put your ashes in the tray I like to keep this place decently.

    BRAD
    I think it’s good fortune that we met.

    MICHELLE
    I don’t believe in good fortune.

    BRAD
    He did really hurt your feelings, didn’t he?

    MICHELLE
    Yes, he did.

    BRAD
    I’ll kill him for you.
    He thrusts his hand backward taking the machete out of his bag showing it to Michelle.

    MICHELLE
    That’s a big razor blade, do you work in agriculture?

    BRAD
    No, I kill people!

    Michelle opens her window spitting out the remains of her cigarette.
    The cigarette hits the tarmac sparkling and comes to a stop.

    MICHELLE
    Can you give me another fag?

    Brad is astonished by the lack of reaction of the girl he takes his package there are only two cigarettes left, he shows her.

    BRAD
    I guess we have to stop for cigarettes?

    Michelle takes out the two remaining cigarettes.

    BRAD (CONT’D)
    Hey! I might like another cigarette!

    MICHELLE
    Smoking is bad for your health, could you please open your window?

    Brad puts his hand on the lever and starts turning opening the window. Slowly the window sinks in the door.

    Michelle moves her hand backward in her bag, she takes out a big gun.

    We are behind the driving car, we see a flash, a pink cloud coming out of the car and hear a GUN SHOT.

    The car door opens. Brad’s body falls out, rolls over and comes to a stop.
    Brad’s surprised dead eyes look at us. We see the car disappear in the distance.

    FADE OUT.