Screenplay Review – Echo Station

Posted on December 27, 2012 | by admin

A spec screenplay with no Black List play makes a strong late-year debut and asks the screenwriting community, “How could you miss me?”

Genre: Sci-fi
Premise: A top secret deep space crew comes upon a strange deserted futuristic ship. After boarding, key members of the crew start experiencing time loops.
About: Echo Station was recently shot in Australia with Daybreakers directors Michael and Peter Spierig at the helm. Half of the writing team, Patrick Aison, recently sold Black List spec “Wunderkind” to JJ Abrams’ “Bad Robot.”
Writers: Patrick Aison & Brad Kean

Uhhh, how in the world did this not make the Black List??

Everyone but two people have told me it’s awesome. I was a little skeptical because people have called it “the next Source Code” and I’ve read several “next Source Codes” and they’ve all been full of programming glitches. But holy shit, Echo Station comes close! I thought the time loop device was dunzos after it reached Gangnam style use in the screenwriting community, but these guys figured out a way to make it fresh.

What shocked me most was how lost I got in “Echo.” I know I say that every time I read something good, but it still surprises me. In 95% of the scripts I open, I’m already thinking about the writing by page 2. I’m considering the writer’s choices or annoyed by how hard the prose is trying or upset by a weak character introduction. When somebody’s able to grab you and pull you into their story so you’re not thinking about any of those things – that’s a hell of an achievement. Even doubly so today due to the “This won’t be as good as Source Code” chip on my shoulder.

The plot here is really cool. It’s the near future and we’re in a space station far away from earth because they’re doing top secret dangerous experiments. The military has just sent up Air Force Colonel John Cole to take a look at the place and make sure everyone’s doing the jobs they’re supposed to do. The crew is wary of the corporate invasion and therefore don’t take kindly to Cole’s visit.

The key players on the 7 person crew besides Cole are Viktor “Stas” Stanislas and Natalie Rouvier. Stas is technically still married to Natalie but things clearly aren’t cooking at home anymore. And it doesn’t help that the strapping Cole immediately makes a connection with her. If you’re guessing that’s going to play into the story later, you’re guessing right.

“Later” doesn’t take long, as almost immediately after Cole docks, the crew is shocked to spot a sleek deserted futuristic ship called the “Amaranth” gliding past their station. Naturally curious, the seven of them jump in the shuttle and chase after the thing, docking soon after. After some initial analysis, it’s clear that the ship is decades ahead of any technology they’ve ever seen. Which is spooky in itself, but spookier in that there’s no one onboard.

A few hours after poking around, a surprise meteor storm hits the ship and the thing is ripped apart. But as everyone’s dying a horrifying fiery space-vacuumed death, a flash of light comes and Cole finds himself back in the compression chamber of the ship right before boarding. He’s looped back.

Naturally, he doesn’t know what the fuck just happened, but when he tries to tell the crew, they all think he’s nuts. Until, of course, the meteor shower hits again. And kills everyone again. And Cole loops back again. Cole quickly realizes that if he doesn’t figure something out, he’s going to be looped inside this ship forever. But that’s not the only thing he has to worry about.

After a dozen loops, Stas approaches him. Stas has been looping too. For a good three weeks. Which you’d think would be good news because now Cole has someone to brainstorm with. But Stas seems to look at this looping a little differently than Cole. He humiliates people, beats people up, tricks them, hurts them, all under the guise that they’re going to be looped back anyway so who cares? Stas has one simple rule for Cole. You can go do whatever you want, but stay away from Natalie.

But after awhile, Natalie becomes aware of the loops too, and her and Cole start scheming to figure out what Stas is up to. What they find is beyond disturbing. Stas has been looping for much longer than he’s let on. And video from those loops shows that he’s done everything imaginable to every member of this crew, including killing them hundreds of times. Stas has made Echo Station his own personal playground. If they don’t figure out a way to stop the looping and get out of this, they could be stuck in Stas’ hell forever.

I think the scripts I like best are the ones with an intriguing mystery at their core and a strong goal. Because, to me, those are two of the strongest story engines you can arm your script with. With these time-looping stories, it’s all about “Why is this happening?” That’s an intriguing mystery I want solved. My problem with this device, typically, is that the answer to that mystery is never satisfying. Here it was not only a great revelation, but it actually made sense!

(Spoiler) The reason the ship is looping is because it has a defense mechanism so that it can never be destroyed. If it encounters anything that disables it beyond repair, it jumps back in time to before it happened, theoretically allowing the crew to avoid the problem before it happens. That made total sense to me and I can’t tell you how important that is. Most writers will write In the cool mystery and figure that’s enough. “Oh, it doesn’t really matter WHY it’s happening,” they’ll convince themselves. “As long as it’s cool, who cares?” Err, no. When your script is more than a jumble of ideas, when it actually follows real-world logic and there are solid REASONS/MOTIVATIONS for things happening, everything about your story solidifies, because the reader TRUSTS you. They know you didn’t just throw this together on a Saturday night. This is a story with some real thought and effort put into it. And those are always the best scripts.

And the goal here is strong too, of course. Get out of the loop! That’s the thing with goals. The best ones are usually simple and obvious. It’s when we’re NOT sure what the goal is that we lose interest in the story.

If the script has a fault, it may be Stas. Don’t get me wrong. I thought he was a wonderful villain. But the more I thought about his motivation, the more I questioned it. He was okay with living this same loop over and over again so that he could be God, despite having to spend it inside a confined ship within a 4 hour time frame? I’m assuming you’d get bored with that after awhile.

Still, he was one fun little bastard. I both loved and was horrified by the videos showing Stas provoking crew members in early loops, then using subsequent loops to learn how they fought and anticipate their attacks in order to defeat them effortlessly later on. It really made the end a blast because you were genuinely terrified of this guy. You knew there was no way he could be defeated because he literally knew everything you’d do before you did it.

I would’ve liked to have known a little more about a few loose ends though. A cool revelation was when they find a picture of Stas, 20 years older, as one of the original crew members on the ship. This had my mind racing throughout as I tried to figure out what that meant, but I’m not sure it was ever explained. Also, how did this ship get here in the first place? It appears to be from the future. But that’s all that’s known. And yet, a part of me kinda liked it. It gave the script life after it was over, as it still has me wondering what it was all about. I guess that’s what happens when you read a great script. You even like its faults.

This is easily one of the best scripts of the year. I guess it just didn’t get the exposure it needed in order to make The Black List. Which reminds me, have you guys read anything good on the list yet? A few people have e-mailed me to say that “Devil’s At Play” is awesome. 

[ ] Wait for the rewrite
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Take a popular device/story type/character type and EVOLVE it. If all you’re doing is giving us the same device we’ve seen in other scripts, you’re going to look like last guy on the block to own a Mini Cooper. Especially if you’re integrating a recent trend, like time-looping. Echo Station evolves time looping by having MULTIPLE CHARACTERS LOOP. This adds all sorts of character and plot possibilities we hadn’t seen before. People are hiding loops from each other. People are using their looping experience against one another. It just made the device feel fresh. You should always try and evolve the type of story you’re telling in some way so that it’s different from from came before it.

Posted in Impressive, Sci-Fi, Uncategorized

BenO

I loved this script. Spierig Brothers directing is a great match. Because of the time travel plot device I had my guard up, but I was pleasantly surprised. This script just moves so fluidly and apart from the loose ends you mentioned (Where did the ship come from? Why was Stas old in the picture?) it all just works and gels together effortlessly. I would have liked Cole to have more flaws or backstory issues, but overall it was a great script and embarrasses some of the higher ranked Black List scripts.

The Mulberry Tree

Can I get a copy of this one? This thing sounds amazing not to mention getting
[x] Impressive. Once I read it I’ll give my opinion. Cheers.
Koalameatpies@gmail.com

colenicks83

I was dubious because the time travel thing is something we’ve seen before but Stas kicks it to the next level. His reveal of what he was doing in the loop was awesome.
I agree with the part about mystery too. Usually the scripts/movies I love have a strong mystery.
ff

I’l have to check it out. Thanks for the review as always!

Personally the loop story seems cool but what’s the point of any of it? Other than the bad guy wants to do bad things to people is this really a story worth telling? It seems like it took a cool concept and did nothing with it.
http://www.facebook.com/kevin.lenihan1 Kevin Lenihan

Great script. The ship’s defense mechanism is a brilliant idea, and having Stas be from its future crew is really clever. If there is one thing they could have done better it is Cole, especially in the early going. He’s about as vanilla as they come. If we had a sense of some deep need of his own character, maybe a flaw or some back story. Without this it is pretty much ONLY the mystery driving the story. But don’t get me wrong, that mystery is so well done here that it’s enough, and this genre is supposed to be mystery driven. And we certainly don’t want too much intro to Cole, that would slow the story. Thanks for the review.

yeebarr

I agree – I thought the character work was a tad generic (not just Cole but Stas was a tad 2D James Bond villiany). That said, I loved the the sci-fi time travel twists. Sure it’s not perfect – kind of like JJ’s Star Trek; if you took the time to think about the science it unravels quickly but it’s a fast and fun read and could be a great Summer film.

http://www.facebook.com/kevin.lenihan1 Kevin Lenihan

Good to compare to the recent Star Trek. For some reason, I don’t think the science needs to be serious in the recent edition. I think that’s because of the tone established in the Kirk scene where he steals the car. Also, the focus is more on characters. I liked the movie, but it was not remotely serious.

I think movies like Echo, which have limited character development, should be more scientifically serious. Does that make sense?

yeebarr

I’d also add that if the story is entertaining enough you’d also be willing to forgive scientific inaccuracies; and I think I’d rather be entertaining that boring!

Citizen M

Thee and me must disagree on this one, Carson. I thought it was one of the crappest sci-fi efforts I have ever read. (My version is called Amaranth dated 4/28/2011 but it’s the same, judging by your review.)

It starts when Cole is in the decompression chamber on Echo Station. Excuse me, did I read that right — DECOMPRESSION chamber? Yup. Never in the history of spaceflight has an astronaut ever had to decompress (the pressure differences are too minor), but here it is a major story element.

I won’t mention the other stuff, but there’s not enough science to make this science fiction. It’s fantasy fiction masquerading as science fiction, designed to look cool and never mind the physics. I’m sorry, other people might find this okay, but I find it grating and am convinced it is contributing to the dumbing-down of the populace.

[x] should be shredded.

http://www.facebook.com/kevin.lenihan1 Kevin Lenihan

You’re right about the decompression, and there were a few things like that. One thing I remember is when Cole says “what if the day is always the same?”. There are no days in space. I liked the story, but I did wonder if the science was researched at all.

Malibo Jackk

Astronauts are likely to continue thinking of a day as 24 hours.

Who’s to say decompression isn’t necessary in deep space?

http://www.facebook.com/kevin.lenihan1 Kevin Lenihan

Space is space. No gravity, no pressure, no decompression…I believe. I’m not a scientist, though, I just occasionally write them.

Malibo Jackk

What I love about astronomy/space are all the mysteries that it holds.

The more you read, the more you realize how complex things are. Things like time, space, gravity, dark matter, planets, stars, galaxies, black holes, quasars, quarks, God particles, string theory, the big bang, other universes….

The history of astronomy has been about discovery. It would be a mistake to think that we are smarter than the universe. Hundreds of years ago, there was only one sun. The stars were thought to be camp fires in the sky, only miles above us in the heavens. As recently as the 1930s, the Milky Way was considered the only galaxy in the universe. We knew nothing of other galaxies. Quasars are the brighten things in the universe, but also extremely distance. Forty years ago, we had no idea what they were. More recent discoveries have brought about new questions – what is dark matter? how many other universes exist?

New discoveries of planets and moon are constantly challenging what we thought we knew about the way planets behave. Not just challenging us, but raising new, unanswered questions.

Gravity is still a theory. We think we know how it works. But if space is empty — how can it be warped???

No. We don’t know what space is. We will learn more when we discover what dark matter is. But we may never understand what it is. Nor why it exists.

Malibo
Ambrose*

Good points, Mailbo.

The thing I always laugh at bemusedly is when scientists or others say that a planet or other celestial body is not conducive to life because there is no water there.

Who are we, as inhabitants of this little speck called Earth, to say – or think – that the only way there can be life on some distant planet is if it meets our own life requirements?

It’s understandable in that that’s how we live (water and air) but it’s so small-minded when you think about the vast stretches of the (infinite?) universe where there may be billions and billions, as Carl Sagan might say, of different intelligent life forms that don’t exist exactly as we do. And they may be far more advanced than us.

It wasn’t all that long ago that man thought the sun revolved around the Earth, and also that the Earth was flat.

Scientists are still finding new species on this very planet we live on virtually every day, some that go against preconceived notions of how life is supposed to work, such as creatures or organisms deep withing the oceans.

It’s so egotistical and full of hubris to think that we – humans – are the most advanced living organism in the universe, or at least our universe, if there are many.

It will be a rude awakening if/when the day comes that we learn otherwise.
Malibo Jackk

One thing I find curious–
Did we invent mathematics… or did we discover it?
So many answers about the universe have come from mathematics. The universe seems to be telling us that it’s mathematical. But I’m not sure why it has to be.

On the other hand, the math seems to breaks down the closer you get to the moment of the big bang. It suggest to me a different universe — a different math.

Hey. Screenwriting is hard.
It’s a good thing we have astrophysics to fall back on.
http://www.petraquilitz.com/ Petra Quilitz

Math “breaks down”? Sure, math “breaks down” today when trying to explain time/space phenomena like medicine “broke down” before 1868 when trying to explain phenomena related to genes. That’s one pessimistic way to see the evolution of science.

So you’re really asking if we invented or discovered math? That’s like asking if we invented or discovered the flashlight. So the darkness actually told us to make a flashlight? Or maybe it was handed down from Mother Universe, in a secret ceremony. Don’t know but I think while fumbling with metal wires, some geniuses managed to logically dissect the laws behind light and electricity and then some other brilliant fucks created light shining apparatuses using those laws to achieve the purpose of seeing in the dark. But, yea, why not, it’s all in the BIG PLAN, us discovering the flashlight.

So the universe is telling us that it’s mathematical. Really? Isn’t it more like us poor mortal idiots using mathematics to try to see in the dark? Because we’re stupid and real intelligent thinking hasn’t been invented yet, obviously, so math is all we have. I’m personally hopeful that if we don’t blow ourselves up, we can eventually come up with a more advanced system for collective intelligence, maybe even with new name. Biomathics maybe, or Sciensics.

You go ahead and fall back on astrophysics and the idea of the universe giving us Math. I”ll stick with basic logical thinking instead. Let’s see which one eventually shines further into the darkness.
Malibo Jackk

Einstein said that what amazed him the most
was that we seem to have the ability to understand
much of how the universe works.
I think I was restating his amazement.

And if you ask him, I’m sure he could explain how a
flashlight works.

http://twitter.com/jaexhkim jae kim

I think this script is a great example of how a great idea can get your script sold even if a lot of things in it don’t make sense.

as a reader of scripts / watcher of movies, I read and watch so many things that are dull and mundane… just to come across something original and exciting is a real treat and I will actively overlook a lot of faults.
Michael

There is decompression in space:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_exposure

It happens when an astronaut’s suit loses pressure while space walking or if the spaceship itself loses pressure. You don’t get decompression sickness or require decompression just because you’ve transferred from ship to ship. Space decompression is the opposite of decompression from scuba diving. The cure is to return to the spacecraft at one atmosphere pressure. There is no need for a decompression chamber because in space the ship is the chamber.

The illogical use of the decompression chamber is a contrivance by the writers to isolate Cole for story purposes. It should be easy to fix without taking away from the story. Once again, why raise red flags over simple science when it’s so avoidable.
AJMockler

Yep, the stupid, ignorant decompression thing peed me off too (and, yes, I am a scientist). But I set it aside, and went for the ride. And what a ride it was. A very tightly written piece, with lots of fun moments, and a gOod core idea (even if riffing majorly of Groundhog Day and Source Code).

The only other thing that didn’t work was (spoiler) when Stas was fighting Cole back on their own space station he says how many times they had had this final fight. Er… NO! Can’t have happened as it wouldn’t have been possible without the 4 hour time loop being stopped first, which it has been at this point in he story. Hopefully that unnecessary line of dialogue will get taken out.

Citizen M

I’m not a lover of time travel movies. There are too many unanswered questions. For instance, how did the Amaranth get from the future to now? Presumably it goes back in time a little bit with each loop. I can buy that, if it jumps back four hours then meets the asteroids in the next three hours because of slightly changed orbital dynamics, it would drift backwards an hour each loop. But then it would keep drifting back in time with Cole and co on board. But it doesn’t. It keeps looping around the same fixed time point.

I appreciate you have bend the laws of physics for the sake of a good story, but these writers have strapped them to a chair and waterboarded them.

Poe_Serling

Sounds a bit like Event Horizon meets Sphere.

TruckDweller

That’s right on the money only the climax is a bit more grounded.

Poe_Serling

Hey TruckDweller-

To be honest, I haven’t read the script (got to blame my holiday merriment on that)… just took an educated guess based on C’s review and other commenters’ remarks.

Xarkoprime

Ah I started reading this and it seemed really good :) I’ll have to finish it now!

Xarkoprime

Replying to myself, but oh well. Really off-topic but did anyone read Draft Day and feel disappointed it got #1 this year?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=607455796 Genesis Soto

Can someone please send me a copy, cause my curiosity has peaked. Time travel movies are such hard and laborious work but it’s fun to read them (mostly).

Send at horrorguy03@yahoo.com
http://twitter.com/jaexhkim jae kim

the fact that they can’t explain where the ship came from is probably something the writer struggled with also. but trying to explain this would have meant changing the story way too much I think, and I believe the writer made the right call in ignoring the issue altogether.

and I think the whole older Skas thing was there just to explain why Skas could remember the loop, nothing more.

this script reminded me of men in black 3. they never explain why will smith’s character is the only one that remembers the alternate time line. but we didn’t care. we just enjoyed the ride. and the same applies here.

I mean, if the ship is truly looping through time, how the hell is it recording everything that happened through all the loops? still, when they realized what Skas is doing on camera, it sent shivers down my spine.

someone once said idea is king, and it’s so true. The idea of multiple loops and people using loops against each other is just such a great idea, and the execution here is superb. it was enough for me to forgive all the holes in the script.
http://twitter.com/jaexhkim jae kim

I actually liked echo station better than all you need is kill.

for me, if you can get me on the edge of my seat while reading, you’ve got one hell of a script. All you need is kill never did that for me. it was just very PG-13.
ElliotMaguire

This sounds like it could be a really cool, mind-bending movie, especially with the Spierig brothers behind it. I thought ‘Daybreakers’ was brilliant and original, a vampire District 9, although not quite as good.

While I haven’t checked out this script, I am starting to think that that little James Belushi/Frank Whalley straight to DVD thriller ‘Retroactive’ was way ahead of its time. Released now, with the success of Source Code and its ilk, I think it could have been big. Being a fan of these Carson, I’d check it out if you ain’t already.

Poe_Serling

Hey Elliot-

Gotta agree 100% with you regarding the film Retroactive… it’s one of those underrated gems that only pops up rarely on late night tv now or buried at the bottom of the discount DVD bin at Big Lots.

And you’re absolutely right – Carson should watch this immediately if he hasn’t already seen this pic.

Now a little ‘retro’ love from Poe…

Retroactive: A psychiatrist makes multiple trips through time to save a woman that was murdered by her brutal husband.

A broken-down car in the middle of nowhere. The stranded woman needing a ride to the nearest town. Soon she’s hitches a lift with a redneck and his lady friend….

Pretty standard stuff, right? Well, this is just the tip of the iceberg in this bloody ode to time travel. No plot reveals here… hey, that’s a big no-no in my cinephile book. But I will say that things get wacky, violent, and plays like a Tarantino version of Groundhog Day.

One of the nice surprises of the film: Jim Belushi. Forget silly and lovable ol’ Jim from his TV show According to Jim… this variant is badass with a capital ‘B.’ Personally, I think he nails the role.

The film was directed by Louis Morneau – who just happens to be the visionary behind one of my guilty pleasures – Bats. No apologies from me – you just don’t see too many flicks with flying rodents nowadays.

Fun fact: Roger Clinton (Bill’s brother) has a role in the film.

Ashleigh

I’m pretty sure the Black List is only open to scripts that haven’t been greenlit for production, so if this one has already been shot, it would make it ineligible.
carsonreeves1

send it to me! :)

Michael

Time travel is more addicting than crack. Get help my friend.

Dan Sarf

I thought his was a powerful cinematic idea well written with wit as well as plenty of terrifying scenarios. So there wouldn’t be decompression chambers? Who cares? (Call them something else.) It’s the story that matters, to me anyway. And I enjoyed this one.
Lanzo Weyn

I’m really surprised I was one of only two people who didn’t like this — initially. My problem was also with Stas, he likes the “Immortality” of the loop but spends it torturing people? Seems a rather primitive choice for a highly educated astronaut/doctor. Carson didn’t mention he also rapes the crew — MEN included. I called it “Source Code” meets “Hostel” and I’m definitely not into “torture porn/horror.”

But now, thinking about it weeks later, it has a bit of, “Lord of the Flies” to it (mostly Stas). And I don’t think there’s a better horror (or motivation) than to seeing yourself raped/tortured/mutilated/murdered…

Though I do think the final battle was pretty by the numbers — not a whole lot of surprises.
TruckDweller

Okay sci-fi Groundhog Day. I’m in!

I found this draft enjoyable and the plot fairly inventive. The characters were well defined and the challenges were reasonable. I’m not sure this was really Black List writing but the plot was certainly engaging. Everything but Stas felt a bit too light. It would have been nice to learn more about the abandoned ship’s crew and draw some parallels between the current passengers.

(Spoiler-ish)I think the next draft needs to take a closer look at the relationship between Natalie and Cole. Even if Natalie remembered everything that happened (which she doesn’t) I still saw no real reason for her to be with Cole at the end of the movie. And since that’s the emotional relationship that’s supposed to carry the movie and really motivate Cole, this is something that needs to be addressed.
SousChefGerard

Didn’t debut this year because it was around last year under a different name (Amaranth).
f.l. danilov

Yeah….great ideea, if you’re a Star Trek fan boy. I didn’t read the script, but looks to me like a clear copy-paste from bellow.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cause_and_Effect_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)

cheers

JakeMLB

I’m not surprised. This is how many spec writers seem to generate their ideas. For sci fi, sit down with an episode list of The Twilight Zone and the Star Trek series and you’re bound to find an idea worthy of a feature film.

courlo

What’s up, guys and dolls? All good? Well, all of this talk lately about aliens and time travelers made me think. Here’s what I thought:

GEORGE WASHINGTON: ALIEN KILLER
As a young man, George Washington is an apprentice to a military general who works in the upper levels of the growing anti-English government forces forming in the colonial New World. When his mentor dies of strange circumstances, a troubled young George is left a listless captain with little direction and a heavy heart. When one night he sees a light in the sky that lands in the distance, he rides to investigate it. What he discovers, if he can’t stop it, could change the course of American history as we know it.

Good idea, or bad thinking?
JakeMLB

A light but well-written script filled with suspense and mystery.

I thoroughly enjoyed it but agree with others the script feels a little light on the whole; however, for this type of film (space horror), it’s not necessary to delve too deep. Some of the sparsity can also be attributed to the writing. For a futuristic sci-fi, the authors chose to keep descriptions to a minimum and instead let the action paint the picture. A wise choice for this script. The loose ends were somewhat irksome but sometimes things are better left unsaid (I suspect the answers were unsatisfying or nonexistent). Some of the science-based elements need rewriting (e.g., decompression).

This is a script that grows on you. At first blush, or at least in the early stages, it feels like its headed down a familiar slope, in fact I almost put it down, but with each loop it gains momentum and there’s enough new information that ECHO STATION remains engaging and fresh. My only complaint is that the first time cut was confusing on-the-page. I had to re-read a few times to gain my barrings. A simple FLASHBACK statement in the slugline or better description would have helped the reader. Minor quibble though.

[xx] Worth the read
http://twitter.com/jaexhkim jae kim

ok about the loop, only Stas is the original member of the crew, that is why he is the only one that remembers the loop from the beginning. there is a scene where they show cole as a ‘guest member’. that is why cole starts remembering the loop, because stas added him as a crew in the computer system.

the crew abandoned the ship because they couldn’t find a way out of the loop (this would be decades in the future). of course, how the ship traveled that far back in time is never explained.

you’re right about the debris field, but it was a minor detail compared to the bigger plot holes (decompression, where the ship came from etc).

Lee Matthias

Well, that doesn’t make sense because Stas is an original Amaranth crew-member FROM THE FUTURE(!). So, his younger self would not remember after the first loop because he is returned in every loop to his youngest self. The older Stas can’t help the younger Stas unless he time travels, and that’s not in the script.

And how does Cole remember just from being added to the computer? He’s human, not a computer construct. And that fails to explain why the others start to remember. Or why they all don’t remember equally from the first. According to causality, no one in the loop should remember information that is greater than the moment the loop starts.

And if the crew abandoned the ship after realizing they were in a time loop, they would still be there at the start of every succeeding loop. So that’s no explanation. They HAVE to be there unless they have an additional mechanism to extract themselves from the loop (including their initial selves at the start of each loop).

It’s a cool idea that can work with additional plot information, but it doesn’t in this draft. Cool ideas still have to follow their own internal logic. The thing has been written into a corner, and only additional material can get it out.

http://twitter.com/jaexhkim jae kim

I absolutely agree that none of this makes any sense. (I still can’t get over how the computer recorded all the loops)

stas is not FROM the future. his future self was on the ship so his
bio signature is in the computer. this allows for addition and deletion
from the loop. don’t ask how this works because there is no logical explanation. such is science fiction.

as for the crew, they could have done what cole did to escape the loop. destroy the ship early, loop back, get off. that way when the ship is destroyed and it loops back 4 hours, it’d be after they’re gone.

WrathofChakaKhan

Multiple characters loop in All you Need is Kill which is now in post. I read the book and while the writing was incredibly underwhelming and boring, the premise was pretty interesting.
SS Fan

A quick enjoyable read IMHO. It doesn’t explore the deep drama of questioning who we are i.e. 2001 A Space Odyssey, but I thought it nailed the tone it was aiming for, action/thriller. On that basis, I think the story accomplished its mission. Grateful I got to read/study it. Happy Holidays SS Nation!
thescreenplayman

yeah, amazing screenplay. But the idea is almost too similar to Rendezvous with Rama (the book) and Source Code…
Mr. T Ripley

I’m reading this. I like it except for the fact that SPOILERS: Stas shows Cole the battery that can probably stop the time loop. The two didn’t like each cause of Natalie but, now their buddies. wtf? Stas can reveal some things but not the whole thing.
NajlaAnn

Overall, I liked Echo Station. Unfortunately, by comparing it to Source Code I thought the beginning seemed a bit slow. I liked Natalie and Stas scared the heck out of me. Implementing multiple characters experience the loop was ingenious and added layers of suspense. I’m certainly looking forward to when it’s in theaters.
Scriptshadowfan

I loved this script. From the character introductions that made me feel I was dropping in on real people in complicated lives to the whole heart of darkness thing (like Brando in Apocalypse Now), I thought it was great.
Michael

I like the script and think it has a lot to offer. This script feels like an early draft. I hope they cleaned it up and addressed a lot of the issues people are raising in this review. This is a perfect contained thriller with a low character count. Contained thriller combined with low character count makes Producers salivate quicker than Pavlov’s dog. I can see why this sold and went into production as quick as it did.

I agree that the lack of character development is a problem. When you only have 8 characters how hard is it to give us better descriptions of who the characters are and give each one a memorable trait we can relate to? Here’s the intro to three characters at once:

HIROSHI (40) – physicist, AMIT (44) – astronomer, and BARNES (36) – crew chief.

Really? With only 8 characters in the whole script these are the character descriptions we get? The leads didn’t fair any better. For Stas we get “(40)”, that’s it, and Cole we get “(38), young to have achieved his rank.” I have no picture in my head for any of the characters in this script.

Despite that, the story and action pulled me in. There’s some good twists and turns at a fast pace. The concept of time looping is a great one. The king of time looping movies is Groundhog Day. The reason for GD’s success is the full spectrum of emotions the time looping pulls the character through. I felt this script should have done more of that. An episode of Stargate (geeky guilty pleasure), Window Of Opportunity, did a far better job of dramatizing time looping. It made no sense that all the characters weren’t experiencing the time loop. It’s a lost opportunity to develop the characters and heighten the drama. For half the script two thirds of the small cast are excluded from the action. Why? No reason I can see.

The time looping concept needs to be tightened up, there are too many inconstancies. When Cole finally discovers that Stas knows about the time looping and has been looping longer than him, wouldn’t Stas’ test of “Happy Birthday, Grandma” and punch Cole in the mouth,” have come up sooner and been the better way to reveal Stas than his knowing the code numbers? And if Stas already had fought Cole several times why would he trust him now? Why wouldn’t Stas just keep Cole locked in the airlock from the start? Why would the scratched numbers in the airlock remain when writing on his arm and nothing else does? If Cole dies of hypoxia and floats off into space, he’s no longer with the ship when it time jumps so how does he go back in time to the airlock again? Back on the space station, how could they have battled many times when they are out of the time loop? Why show a picture of Stas from the future if the script isn’t going to tie it to the present story? The picture would have made great backstory if they tied it to the records of the time jumps and showed that future Stas killed the original crew to go back in time and change history to reunite with his wife. So many questions. I think I’m caught in a time loop.

The only way to break this loop is to end this review. So, overall, I enjoyed it and despite its flaws would give it:

[x] worth the read.

The Mulberry Tree

Hey Michael, sorry to bother but was hoping you or someone else could send a copy my way. Cheers.
Koalameatpies@gmail.com

Writer451

STORY STUFF
I felt it was well written with some clever storytelling, but I felt unfulfilled. After building up so much mystery about the derelict ship, there were no answers for how/why it ended up in the past. Why was it named Amaranth? It seems like it was just arbitrarily named that.

I THOUGHT the conflict was an interesting puzzle, but I FELT the conflict was dull. Stas is just some jerk who gets off on hurting people even though he’s a doctor (“do no harm”). That was it. There was no back-story to explain the contradiction of his character/profession or what it was that turned him into a monster. What deep seated desire did he have all these years that was allowed to come out only now? Why did repeating every four hours turn him into a monster and no one else? Why didn’t the others indulge in the benefits of repeating every four hours like Stas did? Just like with the ship, the writer created a lot of questions about Stas, but few answers.

Similarly, what internal shortcoming did Cole have to overcome? None that I could see. He’s your typical one-dimensional strong-jawed hero at the beginning and he’s like that the whole way through.

I liked the idea of the artificial intelligence on the Krikalyov having a hungry curiosity and being able to hack into people’s personal electronic devices and soak up the info. That was pretty neat. I expected that to play a role in the climax/resolution later on, but it didn’t. Therefore, why even include it in the story?

The exploration of advanced technology when they first got to the Amaranth was cool at first, but it became repetitive and boring. After the first three discoveries it was like “Okay, we get it. It’s an advanced ship with cool stuff no one’s ever seen before.”

TECHNICAL STUFF
Four hours between the jumps seemed kind of long. With the few tasks that they were rushing to get done, it felt more like an hour to me.

The time machine on the ship… how far does it reach? I can’t imagine one time machine device on one ship affecting the entire universe so that every time they start over, the entire universe is starting over too. Therefore, when they got back to the Krikalyov, a lot of time should’ve passed; to the point where other teams would’ve been sent to check on them, right?
Mr. T. Ripley

Got to finish the script. Problems:

Spoilers Ahead.

If the time loop affects the ship, how come it doesn’t affect the camera footage?
I mentioned before, why does Stas trust Cole with the information on how the time loop works?

The ending should have just been Stas stuck in the time loop ship while the others flee.

How the time loop can be controlled should be explained a bit better. And if this was possible, how come the previous crew didn’t get it?

Didn’t get what Stas being in the future crew meant. I guess it was put in there to be eerie.

i liked the concept (I use it in one my scripts :) ). I liked the structure of the screenplay, even though I think it would’ve been good to have mentioned time in the slug lines so the reader can keep track. But the story has flaws. Some can be left as a mystery like where the ship came from but, I think others need explanation like the camera footage.

Characters – I remember them by what happens to them.

I didn’t get a hint early on that Stras was that sadiistic. All we get from him is that he looks at a chessboard and he was going to win the game in 3 moves. That’s it. It’s only later when I realized he was the medical doctor. And then he turns into evil guy who thinks he’s god. wtf.

Cole’s identifiable since he wants to get out. I don’t even know why Stas is jealous of this guy since he makes no gesture in that he’s into Natalie.

Natalie doesn’t care about these two. She’s more interested in the ship.

Margert’s the bitch.

Amit (i know I spelled this wrong so forgive me) and the asian guy (starts with an H) are the nerds. The asian guy gets screwed.

There’s a russian guy who just shows up in some opening scenes and then comes at the end to beat up Stras.

The writers should reduce the number of characters so they can develop on Stras, Cole, and Natalie. Remove Amit or the asian guy.

It was good in the beginning but, started going downhill as I was reading. Sorry to say I didn’t like it.
http://twitter.com/Huqleberry A H

uh oh… Another impressive. Time to buckle down and give it a go.
http://twitter.com/Huqleberry A H

Carson, do you plan on reviewing Django Unchained anytime soon? Interested to see your opinion on the film.
BoxGoblin

On the topic of the Black List

I really enjoyed reading Story of Your Life. It’s sci-fi with a unique angle much like Echo Station.
wiz11

would appreciate a copy if anyone’s got one :)
hsullivan11@msn.com
ChinaSplash2

Oh come on. A decompression chamber in space? What utter nonsense.

And then we have artificial gravity on a near future incarnation of the ISS?

And Russian chess players who’ve been playing the same game for a month — and yet neither of them can remember the position when klutzy Cole knocks the board over?

oh fuck fuck fuck this is so stupid. Now we learn that the ISS computers have no spare capacity to play games — or play music, presumably — but they’re smart enough to magically suck information out of Cole’s cube and import it into the ship’s neural net.

Jesus Christ — now they have computers that can instantly break military encryption. This is so utterly clueless. Was this written by children?

Oh, apparently they *do* have artificial gravity! Well done, scientists of earth! But apparently they still have to have one of those old-timey weightless toilets.

Seriously, fuck this. I don’t mind a bit of cheating or fudging, but if I keep reading, I’m afraid I’ll have an aneurysm.

Damn shame too because I’d been looking forward to this one.

MrTibbsLive

Wow :)

Michael

I often have these same thoughts when reading a script, but try to express them in a more constructive light. You gave me an aneurysm laughing . Thanks. :)

Max

Where can I get this??

It’s not on the mailing lists email…..
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UXZGWHUNGPUO27HD6UXSOMCMCQ Tor H

I was planning my own ‘character stuck in a time loop’ story and the review made me think, ‘I really need to read this’. The verdict: pretty good. Unsettling, mainly in the violence, but never less than compelling. I can’t wait to find out who’s been cast in this.
Steve

I liked this way better than Source Code.
Nawab

Can anyone out there please send me a copy? Really like to read it. Thanks. gbollzee@gmail.com
EliKofo

if only this screenplay was in my gmail inbox.. but one can only dream, I guess ;)
http://simplyscripts.com/ Steex

I have yet to give this one a read, but personally, I’m not a fan of the time loops device.
I liked it in Groundhog Day. I liked it in Source Code. And it sounds pretty interesting in Echo Station.

I know it’s the “give me something the same, but different” thing, but I feel like it’s completely overused. And seeing a script do it well will just spawn dozens of scripts where the authors say, it worked for that guy, so why can’t I do it?
And most likely, their scripts will be total garbage.

But, in the meantime, I AM very interested in seeing what Echo has to offer.
bear

Any chance of getting this, would be much appreciated?
jmaass86@gmail.com
thanks.

Chy85

I second this. Sounds really interesting and am looking to get ahold of this as well if anyone has a copy? Chymera_619@hotmail.com. Thanks!

ChadStuart

My biggest problem was that I was just completely detached from the characters. I’m still not
sure why the main character was even there, what his history was, etc. There’s a bit of
mystery set up in the beginning why a military guy would be sent on a simple restocking
mission to the space station, but it never appreciably pays off. I guess the brief explanation
at the beginning was the real reason. That was disappointing.

Supporting characters are also poorly drawn. Stas is given a smattering of history, but it
doesn’t really matter as the story unfolds. Insanity soon takes hold, and every decision seems
to stem from that insanity and not on the character’s history. Stas being a future crew member is
a very interesting plot point that could explain the impetus of the anomaly, but it exists solely
to justify why this is happening, and is just a throwaway plot point. Again, disappointing.

It was a fun read, but it didn’t resonate because the characters were paper thin.
http://twitter.com/andyjaxfl amuller

Story was interesting but I hope they haven’t actually filmed this one yet so they can get a few rewrites in, but I’m a sucker for time travel and I’ll probably see it when it first comes out on DVD.
JW

C, you already know my view on this because I sent it via email, but I really have to say that I’m surprised. Not that that is a surprise, but I think this is why we just never know about how people are going to react to a script. Let’s be honest, I didn’t get a sense of any suspense until the 70 page mark and if I would have sent to you a script where the suspense began on page 70 you would have told me to work that out. We know absolutely nothing of what is actually happening because there is no ‘A’ story. There must be an ‘A’ story in order to pull the audience through (on an interest level at the very least) as it goes through the twists and turns. The guy shows up, they’re “trying” to get off, but we don’t know why, what the hell are they doing there anyway (of course, this is answered, but it ends up having little to do with the plot)? The goal ends up being to “get off” which is absolutely horrible because A. Horror screenwriting 101 – give us a reason to pull for the main character to stay alive & B. the main goal ISN’T to stay alive, it’s to stay alive to get to something else (that here is very minimal and almost nonexistent). For Christ’s sake, we don’t even know there’s any “danger” from someone else on the ship until about the 70 mark. Really?

Let’s do a little experiment C, send the scripts out one week without a cover page and review them as such without telling anyone whether they’re pro or not. This, unfortunately, ends up playing into people’s perceptions and their responses to scripts. Although not everyone loved this script, I imagine if you would have released this as an “amateur friday” script and didn’t tell anyone these were pro writers that responses would be vastly different.

The comment here in regards to this being a certain sign of how a script can get out there even with “issues” is a good one. As perfect as we think scripts need to be in order to be recognized, or even paid for, a large amount of the time that simply isn’t the case. Come up with a phenomenal idea, execute it well and you can have more holes than Swish cheese. As much as people (especially script doctors) don’t want to say that, it is truly the case.
nawazm10

Enjoyed this a little too much.

The pages went by fast, a quick, easy read. Something I’d definitely watch.

Stas was the highlight for me. Some good stuff here.
http://www.facebook.com/tochi.osuji Tochi Osuji

this is original? Yawn. I understand this is original when the industry demands ‘make the same shit with permutation 6 instead of 5′ over and over again. I just can’t bring myself to be excited about the concept to be honest. I’ve seen parts of this script before in other movies. If this is made, it’ll most likely be as underwhelming as Source Code if it’s lucky. When is someone actually going to write/post an original movie? New setting? characters? etc.
CKirich

I love Sci-fi and time travel scripts, and usually run into the same problems. I’ve either seen it
before or they’ve gone what I like to call “really?” I enjoyed this script though it has that feel of not completely original, and the really factor is not too out there. Being an early draft actually makes me excited to read further drafts as many of the wholes will be patched, wasted time cut and a
good clean up of the technology including additional ideals.

This is far from impressive in its current state, but has the potential of getting there. Because I enjoyed the read so much, and constantly finding myself thinking – Cut this, add that and fix this clumsy part. It kept me on an even paced read from start to finish without the Act 2 blues, so I can see this one cleaned up and being made. Maybe not for the big screen but cable for sure.

Well worth the read and a couple drafts from impressive.
Guss Who

A crew in space experiencing something weird seems to be one of the most prevalent premises next to the wisecracking cop because I see it pop up so many times.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Mateusz-Wielgosz/744097276 Mateusz Wielgosz

I loved it.

Some outraged comments featured whining about decompression chamber next to declarations “and, yes, I am a scientist”. OK then, I’m an engineer going for PhD, and apart from being scientifically literate, we engineers know how to fix things. And that decompression chamber is an easy fix. Since this universe features artificial gravity (impossible, just like time travel), there is really no problem with creating gravistasis chamber or whatever-device that will serve same purpose.

OK so with this slight detail out of way – I LOVED IT. I couldn’t stop reading this one, it’s surprisingly fresh, given that it’s Source Code on Event Horizon with a touch of grotesque comedy.

There are several moments that make this one stand out while typical “good” scenario has one or two such things. Here we have second person in the loop, reactor (bit underused), crazy-funny-evil villian, gradual unfolding how loop works and that it’s not as random as it seems and more…

Still it could use some fixes. Obviously decompression needs a quick fix. While I like this thing that Stas has trained to level when he can take on whole team, it was a biit iffy. I’m not sure about leaving some questions unanswered, like what really led to Amaranth stranded in that point of time and space?

There is also a important plothole (IMO) – how come whenever ship jumps back it’s fixed to -4 hours state DESPITE memory logs?

Finally I’m not really crazy about this forced “you gotta kill maniac twice”. It could be over after fight on Amaranth. Clash on station seemed very forced and clishe.
http://www.facebook.com/john.bradley.71066 John Bradley

I just wanted to post a comment, defending Patrick and Brad. I am 6 screenplays into my own writing. One of which is a sorta Sci-Fi time travel that is kinda like Groundhog Day meets the Butterfly Effect. Having personally undertaken a script that involves time loops, I can tell you that formatting that sucker and getting facts right, setting up payoffs, character arc, is more difficult in this type of script than any other genre I have attempted. Also the idea sounds very marketable. It just sounds like he needs to flesh it out a bit more and do some research.
EZ

I believe you need to give the story some lean-way After all, this wasn’t a major plot point but a technical detail, so I don’t see the need to linger on it as long as you’re having a good read for the rest of the ride. Personally, I found this script to be superbly written.

One thing that sprang to mind, though, was that more emphasis could have been given to the urgency factor – if the final part was added a ticking clock to it (after 4 hours everything is reset and all is lost) – it might have been more tenseful, but I really enjoyed this as is and am looking forward to seeing this one on the big screen.
EZ

The point is that the persons onboard will retain their memory during the loop and when sent back, will know of the problem that is about to occur and be able to prevent it before it happens. I thought it was quite clever, actually.
http://www.petraquilitz.com/ Petra Quilitz

*Ouch*, posted my precious thoughts uncorrected, unedited and un-spellchecked. Sorry about that. Feel free to ignore this entry. Oh, you already did. Well, then, never mind.
Citizen M

Spacecraft have airlocks to limit loss of air when astronauts enter or leave from space. They have no need to stay in the airlock for a long time to get acclimatized to a different pressure because their suits are pressurized. When a spacecraft docks, e.g. Soyuz docking with the ISS, they don’t even use an airlock since pressures are the same in the two craft (as the pressure in Cole’s craft would be), so they open the hatch and come in and out with no waiting.

Survival in Space Unprotected Is Possible–Briefly. But don’t linger in the interstellar vacuum, or hold your breath
Wes Mantooth

The idea sounds a lot like ALL YOU NEED IS KILL, with a soldier stuck in a time loop on the day of battle, reliving the day over and over and gradually increasing his skills to change the outcome.
D. Yanev

Hello, can I have a copy as well? Thanks in advance.

yanev.danail@gmail.com