Genre: Sci-fi
Premise: A 12 year old boy is visited by a mysterious man from the future, who claims he needs his help to save the world.
About: Paramount picked this script up exactly 1 year ago with Tom Cruise attached. It’s said that the script went for a hefty price (I’m guessing high six-figures). It’s stated on the script’s title page that this is a first draft. However, I have another draft of the script marked nine months earlier that’s listed as a “revised draft.” So maybe they started over? Were possibly released by one production company before moving to another? If I had the time to read both, I would, but I’m just going to go with the one that’s more recent. However, if it is an early draft, we should take that into consideration. Likely, more changes will come. Co-writer T.S. Nowlin wrote the upcoming sci-fi film “The Maze Runner,” as well as contributed to the new Fantastic Four reboot. Co-writing team Mark Levin and Jennifer Flackett wrote Journey To The Center Of The Earth and Wimbledon.
Writers: T.S. Nowlin and Mark Levin & Jennifer Flackett
Details: 10/9/2012 (First Draft)
Usually I use the “SS” acronym to refer to Scriptshadow. But today, I’m using it to reference something else.
SCRIPT SLUMP
I haven’t read anything that’s knocked me out in a long time. I’ve run into the occasional well-executed screenplay (solid structure, solid characters, good story), but this is what amateur writers seem to forget. The people reading your scripts aren’t interested in reading something solid. They’re looking for something great. They’re looking for something that stands out from the pack. Those are the only scripts that have a chance of doing anything in the industry.
This requires big ideas, taking chances that pay off, concepts we haven’t seen before, or if you do write a traditional story, executing the hell out of it. “Solid” might get you into meetings or land you low-level representation, but in order to stand out in this business, you have to blow people away. And it’s been a long time since I’ve been blown away. I think Nightcrawler by Dan Gilroy was the last time that happened (you’ll only have seen that review if you receive my newsletter).
So guys, stop being okay with “okay.” Push yourselves more. Tiger Woods didn’t become the best in the world by shooting for par. Neither should you.
Okay, now that I got that rant out of the way, let’s look at the curiously titled, Our Name Is Adam.
“Adam” introduces us to none other than… Adam! A 12 year-old boy who looks about 9. Adam is a runt of a kid with an asthma problem to boot. And to make matters worse, his 16 year-old brother Tommy is the Golden Boy, the guy who hits the home run at the end of the game and has the prettiest gal in school waiting for him at home plate.
But Adam’s life is about to get juicier. One night while home alone, he hears a noise in the shed, so he goes outside to check it out (a necessity in all movies – Must check out that noise! No matter how dangerous!). There he meets a 30-something man in a space suit. The man eventually convinces Adam that he needs his help for a very special mission, and the two head off on a road trip across the country.
Not long after that, we learn that our pilot guy (spoiler) is actually Adam as an adult! And he’s come back from the future to destroy the program that allowed time travel in the first place. You see, his megalomaniac boss is using time travel to take over the world and this is the only way to stop him! A little complicated for a 12 year-old to understand, but after the pilot proves that he is, indeed, Adam as an adult, Young Adam is in.
Problems arise when OTHER pilots come back from the future to stop Adam and Adam. And we’re floored (spoiler) when we learn that the leader of these pilots is the adult version of Adam’s older brother, golden boy Tommy!
Adult Adam’s plan is a little complicated, but it amounts to finding the woman who discovered time travel and telling her not to share it with her business partner, the guy who eventually uses it for nefarious purposes. When Evil Company Leader finds out this happening, hell hath no fury. He will do everything in his power to take the Adams down!
Okay, before reading a new script, I try not to research the writers (I usually write the “About” section after I read the script). I don’t want their past works to affect my opinion of the script. It’s kind of like when you’re jamming to a song only to later find out Katy Perry sings it. Had you known that ahead of time, you would’ve hated it. Your ignorance, however, allows you to judge the song on its own merits.
So I didn’t find out until AFTERWARDS that this was written by the same writers who wrote Journey To The Center Of The Earth. In this case, unfortunately, I didn’t want to put “Our Name Is Adam” on repeat. Knowing these were the “Journey” writers actually made a lot of sense. “Adam” has a light safe feel to it geared towards a very un-discerning audience, much like that film. Good if you’re a ten year old boy. Bad if you’re me. As I was looking for a lot more.
Even if its expectations weren’t that high, however, I still think the script missed the mark. You see, when writers make the excuse that they’re writing for kids and therefore don’t need a lot of depth, I point them to none-other than Pixar, which makes films for kids as young as six years old and they tackle themes like death and grief and abandonment – really intense stuff – all the time. And kids turn out for those films in droves. So when I look at a script like “Our Name is Adam,” I feel kinda gypped. There isn’t any depth here. Everything’s too easy and too light. And no, I don’t think there’s an excuse for that.
Let me give you a couple of examples of what I mean. First of all, I’m ALWAYS wary when I see a kid with an inhaler in a script. Not that it can’t work, but it usually implies a lack of imagination, which is never a good thing. Now an ADULT CHARACTER with an inhaler? That’d be different. By no means a mind-blowing idea. But it’d at least be unexpected. I mean how many times have we seen the meek kid with the inhaler? 500? 1000? So Adam having asthma didn’t instill a lot of confidence.
Then early in the script, Adam’s mom comes home to find Adam hanging out with a strange 35 year old man (the pilot). She says, “Who is this?” He lies, “This is my science tutor. I paid for him with my allowance money.” She shrugs her shoulders and invites the man to dinner. I’m sorry but WHAT??? IN what universe does a mother catch her kid sneaking around with a 35 year old man and then invite that man for dinner? If I walk in on my 12 year-old with a 35 year old man, I’m calling 9-1-1. There were a lot of little moments like this that kept me at arm’s length from the script.
With that said, the script DOES pick up in the second half once Adam and Adam go on their road trip. It just goes to show how powerful a solid goal that keeps your protagonists moving can be. Because up until that point, we’re just hanging out at this house and I don’t care what story you’re telling or how good of a writer you are. It’s hard to keep things interesting when your characters are just hanging around in a house all day.
As you’re likely picking up on, this script wasn’t for me. So you’re probably asking, “Okay well Carson, you just said that we needed to write something great to break in. And then this sells for a million bucks and you don’t like it. What gives?” Well, the answer to that question is easy. Journey To The Center Of The Earth. That movie made money. And if there’s one universal truth in Hollywood, it’s that if you make money with a movie, Hollywood will buy up whatever you have next. Even if they don’t understand it. Even if they don’t like it. Because there are so few guarantees in this business that the only thing anybody has to go on is the past success of writers, directors and actors. If you have proven that your material makes money, Hollywood will continue to throw money at you, regardless of your rotten tomatoes score.
You the unsold amateur screenwriter, unfortunately, do not have that advantage. Therefore you must write something great in order to stand out. You might be one of the lucky ones to sell a mediocre script, but that will always be the exception and not the rule. And to bank on being the exception is the same as banking on the lottery.
Our Name Is Adam started slow, gained steam, but ultimately had too generic of an execution. With that said, I’d categorize “Journey To The Center Of The Earth” the same way. And that film made 240 million worldwide. So what do I know? Either way, big script sales are good for all writers as it keeps the studios buying. For that reason, I’m happy “Adam” sold.
[ ] what the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Take time to make the mundane story points in your script realistic. Cutting corners and going with schlocky reasoning always results in an un-engaging reading experience. The reason this happens is because writers are so focused on the complicated parts of their story, they de-prioritize the smaller stuff. The thing is, the smaller stuff still needs to make sense. So when I see a mother casually invite Stranger Danger to dinner after he was sneaking around with her little boy, I’m jumping script. That just isn’t believable. It’s your job as a writer to make every situation believable, whether it’s a major plot point or a tiny one.
