Scriptshadow Christmas Gift – Free Notes! (WINNER ANNOUNCED)

Posted on December 25, 2012 | by admin

UPDATE: First off, thank you to everyone who applied for free notes! Sometimes, when I’m doing this, I forget that these are all real people with real lives struggling to do this thing that they love. That happens because it’s the internet and I see all these names but never any faces. Hearing your stories sort of helps put a face to those names. And it reminds me I have a duty to do as much as I can to help you guys, which makes moments like these a little harder. I wish I could read everybody’s script but I just don’t have the time. Which means, despite all of your wonderful e-mails, I can only pick one. And I’ve decided to pick…

BEN PICKLES’ SCRIPT!

Ben’s been a fairly regular contributor in the comments section but the reason I picked him is because he seems to have a unique way of seeing things. As a reader, you’re always looking for writers who have a unique take on the world, and a unique way of conveying that take. Ben feels like he could potentially be that writer. His script is titled, “Of Glass And Golden Clockwork” and the logline is: “On the eve of the Third World War, a conflicted young soldier goes AWOL to pursue one final lead towards his father’s mysterious murder.“ I’ll let you know when I finish the notes and post them in the Script Notes section. :)

ORIGINAL POST BELOW:

For Christmas I’m offering one Scriptshadow reader a free five page consult on their script (script notes). The only catch is that I might use the notes as my “sample” on the Script Notes page. If you’re okay with that, all you have to do is write down in the comments section why I should give you the notes. You can make me laugh, make me cry, make me confused. It’s up to you. And if you’re not keen on blasting out personal reasons for reading your script, e-mail carsonreeves3@gmail.com and in the subject line put: “FREE NOTES” and make your case there. I’ll read everything and post the “winner” on Wednesday morning. Merry Christmas everybody! :)

Posted in Uncategorized

http://www.facebook.com/mandellwe William Mandell

I’ve read the site for 4 years and you’ve never read anything from me. And I’m the first to post :)
Cliff

You were wrong about the notes you gave me six months ago – I want to give you a chance to change your mind

carsonreeves1

:) The Big Stretch right? How is the script!? Have you done any rewrites since then? Changed anything?

Poe_Serling

My apologies to Clement Moore…

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Carson’s lair,
Not a body part was stirring, not even a severed spare.
The stockings were hung by his Looper hate mail graveyard,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would leave an In-and-Out gift card.

Happy Holidays to Carson and the SS faithful!

Malibo Jackk

Clement would be proud.

And the kids were all nestled in their beds,
With visions of Nazis, Zombies and Spaceships dancing in their heads.

Poe_Serling

Thanks, Malibo-

I like how you think – you nailed it.

And may your eggnog always be spiked!

Poe

Malibo Jackk

Couldn’t drink it, without it.

http://twitter.com/FatLadiesMan Fat Swagger

Email! I tend to offend people with my public rants…
blueiis0112

Thank you for the link. I found a script that I’ve been looking for for months. I am in the middle of it right now and am enjoying it.
BennyPickles

Just sent it. How typical, then, that I don’t comment for months, but only do so when I’m offered free stuff. Anyways, Merry Christmas!

carsonreeves1

I forgive you, Benny. :)
ThomasBrownen

Congrats Ben!
http://simplyscripts.com/ Steex

Ben, you SOB! Way to go!!!

http://www.facebook.com/andrew.orillion Andrew Orillion

Four words: Transformers meets Jurassic Park.

garrett_h

Pacific Rim?

cjob3

It’s times like this I wish my script didn’t suck.

Lousy script. Stop sucking!

http://twitter.com/jaexhkim jae kim

that’s why you have to convince carson to give you notes, to make your script unsuck.

cjob3

My scripts are a lot like my life. The jokes are good but everything else is a mess.
ThomasBrownen

Merry Christmas everyone!
Leonardo Reis

First: I can make you laugh, make you cry and make you confused with the reading of my screenplay. Okay, I’m lying about making you laugh with the script. May I replace it with shivers?

Second: Christmas is an international celebration, then, how about giving it to a Brazilian writer, living in Rio de Janeiro, and spread Christmas joy around the world?

Third: Epic adult fantasy is gaining strength with TV Shows like Game of Thrones. In the week after The Hobbit’s release, is time to the cinema world hear about a contrasting epic fantasy movie like ‘my precious’ Storm Dragons: adult, brutal, but full of emotion, in a totally new universe. When was the last time you reviewed a work like that?

Four: I really need your opinion because you are the only one I trust to tell me if my script is so fantastic as I think it is. If I’m right I’m giving you the chance to discover this amazing story to the whole world. Fantastic, huh?

Five: My reasons are far the best so far!

Thanks for your kind offering and a Merry, Merry Christmas!
http://www.facebook.com/kevin.lenihan1 Kevin Lenihan

Remember the first time you got laid? My script is like that: fast and I don’t want my mom to know about it. We’re talking fast and easy. The script I mean.
Citizen M

If you’re interested in TV pilots I’ve just found this site. Here are pilot scripts for US comedy 12-13 season.
https://sites.google.com/site/tvwriting/us-comedy/pilot-scripts/12-13-season

Somersby

An excellent resource. Thanks, Martin.
…And Merry Christmas, all!

Montana Gillis

Merry Christmas everyone! This is a nice present you’re offering Carson. Sent you an e-mail.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UXZGWHUNGPUO27HD6UXSOMCMCQ Tor H

Four words: Greek mythology romantic comedy.
You know you’re intrigued.

http://simplyscripts.com/ Steex

That could end up as the best or the worst thing ever.

courtny blanche

My case for my sci fi/action has been emailed. Good present for whom ever gets picked. But hey a Laker win and a consult for Districts Divide would make a heluva Christmas!!
Bob

Not commercial enough bro! Keep trying.
Rodney92

Why notes for me? I bought your book at full price, I posted a positive comment, and I never asked for anything in return… until now.

carsonreeves1

I love it. Simple and to the point. :)

NajlaAnn

Merry Christmas all!
The Mulberry Tree

Merry Christmas everyone. Thank you Carson and everyone in the SS community for making this site feel like a second home. Cheers.
New_E

Merry Christmas everyone – congrats to the winner!
Colenicks83

Why pick me? Because I am your average ordinary person trying to break into Hollywood with no connections. I’m your average scriptshadow fan. I’m probably an average writer. So if you are going to use my script as an example of the notes you give, I’m probably the best representative of those people seeking your notes.
Rick McGovern

Carson! Here is PART 2 as promised!

So the movie I took my mom to was Jack Reacher. It was actually pretty good. A couple parts needed a little work, but overall it was worth watching. Way better than Dark Shadows which I watched yesterday, which was boring as hell and not very funny.

Anyway, so why me?

What can I say, I have put my money where my mouth is (sacrificing to do so), which shows how serious I am about my career. They say opportunities open up for those who put themselves in the right positions…and for those who have the talent along with the ambition to keep pushing forward even when you have those people who don’t believe in you, even though they haven’t even read any of your stuff. F them is what I say lol

So, that merges in with what else I said behind closed doors and because you need a good model for your site ;)

And Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays) everyone!! I hope everyone enjoyed today with their family and friends and that it was a memorable experience.

And second most, I wish everyone a huge successful year next year in their writing, that we all bring out work and our craft to the next level. We are here to help each other, read each others scripts, give good (and bad) feedback. And most importantly, to encourage one another.

Remember, you rock, and if nobody else has faith in you, I do!!

Now, lets rock this next year and write some awesome shit (yes, that’s an oxy moron, but that’s what’s makes it so great hehe) ;)
klmn

Too late. I’m doing a rewrite without your help.
James Bushill

I wouldn’t be comfortable sending my screenplay to you for notes. It’s not good enough yet.

You should still give me the prize, with the free consult to be used in two months time.

Why?

1. I have insight into the quality of my own work. I don’t think the script’s ready to send for notes yet. Two months will give me time to tighten the structure and ensure I’m not wasting your time. Also, my best work’s sparked by rapidly approaching deadlines.

2. The premise has potential. Logline –
“Boston, 1971. After the murder of his only friend, a prostitute, a corrupt cop reluctantly teams up with a naive rookie to battle against a vice conspiracy within the police force, and bring her killer to justice. In the process, he finds out the truth behind his detective father’s unexplained suicide”

3. I know that script notes are no magic bullet, I’m prepared to put in the hard yards in the rewrites.

4. I have a lot to learn about screenwriting, but I’m not a beginner. I’ve written two screenplays on the UCLA prof program and completed two rewrites of the first of these, the script I’d like notes on.

5. I know that writers with zero aptitude for writing have an unshakeable confidence in their own writing ability. My confidence is flimsy at best, so by my logic, I must have a natural talent for writing.

6. I would love to but I can’t afford to pay for a five page consult from you.

James Bushill

ps – 7. I bought your book

Malibo Jackk

I like your honesty JB. And think Carson should give you a shot.

Here’s what bothers me –
What does your log line say about the UCLA prof program?
(Hey, log lines are tough. People say that they can tell if you’re a writer from the first page. But, what if they only hear/read a log line? Will they even bother?)

There’s a thin line between genius and, well… the other. I can’t tell if your script is LA CONFIDENTIAL or pure trash. The execution will make the difference. But the studio cynic will say — Dead prostitute. Police corruption. I’ve seen this movie before. What makes it different? (LA CONFIDENTIAL added Hollywood dirt to its story. Bruce Willis’ STRIKING DISTANCE added river police patrols.)

Why 1971? (Based on a true story?)
Rick McGovern

You know, I think one of the common denominators of most writers is that lack of confidence in our writing.. Every new script is terrifying to begin. It’s a different child each time. Just like giving birth, we don’t really know what our new child’s personality is going to be, and we hope that we so the right thing by our children.

God knows, I have to fight through the feelings of failure and just put ink to paper and put all of who I am into my writing. The newest one I am working on, which is half way through, took a lot out of me. The characters just spilled their guts and I felt their pain and it was so extremely overwhelming I had to stop the rest of the day. It’s funny and weird how real these people are.

Just keep moving forward, brother, and put all of yourself into your work and its going to be something awesome!! :) I have to fight through that lack of confidence myself, and when I get extremely positive reviews, I actually have to fight the part of me that says they are just being nice and it’s actually just a piece of crap that will never see the light of day. Like me, having to fight it, don’t let the fear and lack of confidence control your destiny.

Control your own destiny!

ripleyy

Congrats Ben! The logline seems awfully familiar, but I gotta say, I love the title :) very catchy.
http://www.facebook.com/dianneordi Dianne Cameron

Congrats! :D
Malibo Jackk

Cool news.
Congrats and best wishes!
ripleyy

I thought so, because I know I liked it the last time I seen it on here. :)
garrett_h

Congrats Benny! You’re one of the better commenters here. Well deserved!
carsonreeves1

lol.