SSDW-13

Here they are folks, in no particular order, the top 25 scripts from my contest. Congrats to to the finalists. I’ll be announcing the Top 5 in a couple of weeks. If you didn’t make it, don’t fret. That next script could be the one. Keep fighting!

Title: Albion
Genre: Period
Logline: The Dark Ages, 865AD, Britain: A sheltered scholar must unite his people and defeat the Viking invasions to become the first King of England: King Alfred the Great.
Writer: Blaise Hesselgren

Title: Fourth Time’s a Charm
Genre: Comedy
Logline: Tom is a thrice-divorced marriage therapist seemingly destined to repeat a Sisyphean cycle of superficial romances. But when a blind date with an uncouth woman named “Angus” highlights everything missing from his past courtships, Tom must choose between perpetuating his hollow past, or taking a walk on the wild side. The thing is, Angus might not give him a choice.
Writer: Steve Dente

(obviously submitted long before this year’s Oscars)
Title: Bait
Genre: Dark Comedy
Logline: When Leonardo DiCaprio believes he’s finally found the script that will win him an Oscar, he travels in secret to visit the unknown writer. What he finds instead is a serial killer, who keeps him captive with a group of other A-list victims, all tempted by the same script. Will Leo escape and, more importantly, will he get to make the movie?
Writer: Sam Boyer

Title: 19 Floors
Genre: Action/Horror
Logline: Against military orders, a Special Ops Sargent attempts to rescue his wife from a quarantined tower infested with monstrous creatures. He has 19 floors and 19 hours.
Writer: Lee Brandt & Christopher Lawrence

Title: This Close
Genre: Drama
Logline: Jeremy Pearl intends to shoot up his high school and take his own life. He comes ‘this close’ to proceeding, but the plot is thwarted before he can act. Seven years later, after coming out of prison a repentant man, Jeremy returns to his hometown to try to make a normal life for himself.
Writer: Randy Steinberg

Title: Drone
Genre: Action
Logline: A drone pilot in the Mojave Desert begins to question his strike orders when evidence begins to pile up of a government conspiracy to inflame tensions in the Middle East.
Writer: Justin Perry

Title: Jack Curious
Genre: Sci-fi
Logline: A legendary but drug-addicted cop tries to solve a murder using time travel.
Writer: Bryce McLellan

Title: Serpentine
Genre: Horror/Thriller
Logline: Upon realising she is reliving the last day of her life, an injured SWAT officer must protect her family from the dangerous cult that want them dead.
Writer: Paul White

Title: Lies, Blackmail, and other Egregious Behavior
Genre: Dark Comedy
Logline: When Sarah, a strong willed Pastor’s wife thinks her husband is cheating on her, she enlists the help of a charming young man to find out. When he catches the pastor cheating, he blackmails him behind Sarah’s back.
Writer: Aaron Brooks

Title: Disorder
Genre: Psychological Thriller
Logline: A recluse who suffers from random episodes – in which he commits violent acts without remembering them – is forced to babysit a neighbour’s 8 year-old daughter for an afternoon. After suffering an episode, he wakes to find the girl has disappeared – a violent wreck in her wake. With himself as the only possible suspect, he must retrace his footsteps to find the girl.
Writer: Zed Warren

Title: Flyuxaphine
Genre: Horror
Logline: Seen through the eyes of a mechanic as he makes his way through a Terraforming facility, with the help of his girlfriend by headset, after a malfunction has turned the crew mad.
Writer: Ellis Ripley

Title: The Passage
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
Logline: Back in small-town Maine to bury his estranged father, a young man discovers the drawbridge his family tended is a gateway to the afterlife for spirits lost at sea. After a historic ghost ship wrecks on his watch, he and a few friends new and old must find passage for one of its crew before a malevolent spirit aboard can get in their way.
Writer: Paul Marchant

Title: Wars of Eternal Spring
Genre: Martial Arts/Period
Logline: A rebellious-minded woman in ancient China seeks the help of Shaolin Temple to save her family and village from a love-obsessed General and his bloodthirsty Captain.
Writer: Elizabet Barilleaux

Title: Wheelman
Genre: Thriller
Logline: An ex-con reconnecting with his fourteen-year-old daughter is forced to take a job as a getaway-driver to pay off prison debts when he gets hijacked mid bank-robbery by a mysterious caller who threatens his family.
Writer: Jeremy Rush

Title: Ghosts of Dickens
Genre: Biopic
Logline: Crushed by financial burden, evaporating success and increasing depression, Charles Dickens struggles to piece together A CHRISTMAS CAROL to regain his fleeting fame.
Writer: Matt Bishop

Title: The Coyote
Genre: Action/Thriller
Logline: An ex DEA agent turned Coyote is blackmailed to take on his toughest job yet; smuggling the man who killed his partner across the Mexican border.
Writer: Nir Paniry

Title: A Quickening
Genre: Drama/Thriller
Logline: A woman working as a surrogate for a powerful New York couple gets treated like dirty laundry, until the couple’s marriage falls apart and they ask her to abort the pregnancy, leading her to turn the tables on them and blackmail her way to the American dream.
Writer: Jacob Albert

Title: Seventy Times in Black
Genre: Crime Thriller
Logline: In the jungle-like heart of Arkansas, a resourceful young woman’s coming-of-age tale makes a terrifying descent into survival. Stripped bare by her own paralyzing fears, she must confront the deranged, familial obsessions of a rogue lawman, whose unchecked savagery threatens everyone close to her.
Writers: Kyle Rynicki & John Rodgers

Title: The Man Who Killed Samuel Lodge
Genre: Western
Logline: As a gang of outlaws chases him, a lawman with a mysterious past reluctantly partners with a headstrong widow so he can cash in the bounty for the man he killed.
Writer: Zac Lovelace

Title: Miss Universe
Genre: Comedy
Logline: A vapid beauty queen is abducted by aliens who think her title means she’s Earth’s ambassador to the universe.
Writer: Colin O’Brien

Title: The Watcher
Genre: Thriller
Logline: A middle-aged voyeur named Roman Powell witnesses his new tenant, young Jane Gordon, commit a grisly murder and struggles through his own urges of going down the evil path by being drawn into the murders himself.
Writer: Michael J. Klassen

Title: Liberty Island
Genre: Action
Logline: When domestic terrorists seize control of Liberty Island during July 4th celebrations and threaten to blow up the Statue of Liberty, a lone New York City cop trapped on the island must save his hostage-held family and foil a presidential assassination.
Writer: Jared Sandman

Title: The Pyre
Genre: Horror
Logline: A fragile young mother has three days to get the body of the immigrant she killed from the bottom of a deep dangerous lake and cremate it on a pyre, before its spirit destroys her.
Writer: Caroline Carver

Title: The Nothing Man
Genre: Action/Thriller
Logline: A secret Government crime solving division clones America’s most wanted criminal to be able to get into his mind and his memories to predict his future actions while being teamed up with the FBI Agent who has been hunting him for years.
Writer: Brian Penn

Title: Yesterday
Genre: Sci-fi
Logline: Randy had it all–a loving family, a dream job. But after a long, hard fall from grace leads to deadly consequences, he’s forced to relive his life backwards. Yesterday by yesterday, Randy tries to understand where it all went wrong, and how he can possibly put things right in a world where tomorrow never comes.
Writer: John Bradley

  • Mayhem Jones

    I WANT TO READ “BAIT”!!!!!!!! (Also: MAJOR congrats everyone, these look AMAH-ZING!!!)

    • Levres de Sang

      BAIT is so in your wheelhouse!! I can’t believe you didn’t write it! ;)

      By the way, did you enter Dexter Strange?

      • Mayhem Jones

        Ha! You’re semi-right, I had plans to write something similar *IF* Leo didn’t win an Oscar this year. Oh well, back to my Justin Bieber epic that I keep starting/stopping because it’s just so stupid: “DON’T STOP BELIEBING”.

        Didn’t enter Dexter Strange ’cause I figured if Carson didn’t like it the first time, why would he the second? But! I edit it as a sort of palette-cleanser-between-scripts and recently finished a SUPERB draft (IN MY MIND!) that I submitted to a few contests, just for fun.

        BUT SERIOUSLY THO…I WANT TO READ BAIT.

        • Levres de Sang

          Now might be a good time for Dexter Strange to make it’s AOW comeback. Carson went mad about Bait when he was briefly tweeting on the 250, so I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to draw a comparison. Especially as he’s been struggling to pick AOW contenders. Just a thought…

  • I WRITE FILMS

    Congrats everyone. Best of luck and hard work. “Chicanery” should of been up there, too, I’m sure. Lol.

  • I WRITE FILMS

    “The Quickening” and “Wheelman” sound really good

    • carsonreeves1

      Both of them are excellent.

  • BigDeskPictures

    Congratulations to all the writers and to Carson for a Herculean task!

  • http://soundcloud.com/the-colonel-mc The Colonel

    This list has Carson written all over it, one great concept after another. CONCEPT!!

    Also: note how many use more than one sentence in their logline, to their absolute benefit. Anyone tortured by the one-sentence logline should appreciate it’s not necessary.

    Finally: “He has 19 floors and 19 hours.” That wins the universe.

  • ThomasBrownen

    CONGRATULATIONS to the winners!! I’m really excited for the top 25, and I hope the writers help us associate their names with their avatars down here in the comments.

    Side note: I was really hoping to see GYAD’s script called BLACKSITE make this list, and I’m hoping we see more of him and his script around here in one form or another.

    • GYAD

      Thanks Tom! I’ll rework it and submit it for AF I think…;)

  • Scott Strybos

    Congrats to all who made it. The scripts that I want to read most are Paul White’s, Serpentine and John Bradley’s, Yesterday. I love time loop, re-living your life stories. (Like Ken Grimwoods, Replay or X-Files’, Monday.)

    • http://soundcloud.com/the-colonel-mc The Colonel

      Replay is an underrated classic.

    • John Bradley

      Hey Scott, one of the writer’s of Yesterday here. I love your comment and it made me laugh. I have a quick story to tell you. I was/am a huge X-Files fan. I watched my last episode when the show went off the air. I came up with the idea for Yesterday 3 years ago and developed it from there.

      Well, when they announced they were making new episodes of the X-Files, my girlfriend and I decided we were going to watch every episode of the series in order. When we got to the episode “Monday”, which is one of the last episodes of the last season, I was shocked, because concept wise it had so many similarities to Yesterday.

      I honestly can’t remember if I had ever watched it before, because it was an episode without David Duchovny and I kinda tuned out on the show when he left. So after I saw the episode a few months ago, I wondered if I had been subliminally influenced by it ten years earlier. But that’s cool that came to mind with the logline.

      • Scott Strybos

        You may have tuned out too early. Monday was in the sixth season (and during it’s original run the show had nine) and definitely featured Duchovny’s Mulder. But the first time you would have seen it would’ve been 1998.

        I too was a huge mega fan of the X-Files when it first came out. But not even I watched to the last episode, or even to the last season.

  • crazedwriter

    These concepts all do sound amazing. Kudos to Carson for all your heard work. Hopefully you’ve found several sound concepts on which to build your producing career.

  • Lisa Chapman

    WOW! Congrats to the 25! There’s something that makes me want to read every one of them! (hint) I’ll go nurse my ego for not making the cut and then go do some rewrites.

  • shewrites

    Congrats, winners!

  • klmn

    Congrats to the winners.

  • hickeyyy

    The Pyre sounds like an excellent premise to me. Congrats to all. I’m excited to see where things go from here.

  • Shawn Davis

    HUGE CONGRATS to all the finalist!!!

    Great job to Carson as well.

    Shawn…..><

  • Poe_Serling

    I got a sneaky feeling it’s gonna get crazy around here today (but hopefully in a positive way).

    It’s
    like Carson just added 25 new items to the ScriptShadow menu and
    everyone wants to check them out right now. I expect the line to
    stretch down the block and around the corner for this post.

    Congrats to all the Top 25 writers. Here’s hoping your projects catch some air and take off to the next level.

    • garrett_h

      Sounds like the line at In-N-Out!

      Congrats to all the finalists!

      Here’s hoping the comments don’t turn into a SS lol

  • The Seether

    Based on loglines only…..The Watcher is the one that seems ready-made a movie. Everything else is too convoluted.

    • Thaddeus Arnold

      Miss Universe has potential to be something, with the perfect casting.

  • Logline_Villain

    Many tremendous loglines in this group. Congrats to all the finalists!

  • Randy Williams

    Congrats to these 25! I see a few familiar Amateur Friday winners and some names that look familiar too.
    Based on the log lines, I want to read Disorder, Liberty Island and The Pyre.
    Good luck going forward!

  • Deano

    Congrats to the top 25! And well done Carson! You must’ve waded through so much shit to bring us these gems. Can’t wait to read ‘em!

  • JakeBarnes12

    Congrats to all the winners.

    The one I’d be interested in reading based on the logline is “Yesterday,” though the vagueness of “hard fall from grace,” “deadly consequences,” “where it all went wrong” and “put things right” is discouraging; i.e no clearly stated stakes or goal.

    Executing on pushing a plot forward that involves moving backwards through time sounds really difficult; I’d love to hear from you, Carson, to what extent this script pulls it off and if the script does in fact have compelling stakes and goals.

    • John Bradley

      Hey Jake, one of the writer’s of Yesterday here. I totally get why you would be discourage with the lack of GSU in the logline. If it were me, I’d say the same thing because I believe in GSU. Honestly writing a forward progressing story that progresses back in a timeline has been, and Jason Lewis my co-writer would probably agree for himself, the most challenging thing I have ever written in my life. But I love this script with all my heart and have cried writing some of the scenes.
      This is not a normal GSU type script. It is a blend of Benjamin Button, Groundhog Day, Memento. The script spans a large section of Randy’s life, so in many ways it doesn’t conform to GSU. It is by no means perfect. Jason and I are working on a rewrite, and have worked on and off on this script for 3 years, but we are both very happy and proud of where the script is at=)

  • Dimitri

    Congrats to the top 25!

  • smishsmosh22

    CONGRATS EVERYONE! Only one I had heard of before was Miss Universe and it’s nice to see some comedies in there. A Quickening, asking a surrogate to abort her pregnancy, ha, great idea! Out of the top 25, is it really only TWO female writers? Oh how sad.

    • Scott Strybos

      The Quickening has great potential for conflict and murky ethicalities that will gets readers riled up. It will not be a passive reading experience.

      • BMCHB

        Could be a Fatal Attraction/Disclosure type. Who’s a ‘young Michael Douglas’ type these days?

    • Scott Strybos

      You & Crawford both changed your profile pics! What’s up with that?! I don’t recognise either of you. I didn’t realise I was responding to you until after I posted.

      • smishsmosh22

        Okay I’m sorry, I changed it back. :)

        • Scott Strybos

          Thank-you!

  • ABHews

    Congratulations to all the winners! Be proud.

  • wlubake

    It’s a great concept that the writer has batted around here in the past. I wish the logline hinted as the story, rather than just the setup, though. I really want to know where that concept leads.

    • klmn

      It was reviewed on AF.

      • wlubake

        I remembered it being discussed. I couldn’t remember if it got a review or now.

        • jeaux

          I remember reading it when it was on AOF. One of the few I read through entirely. Some good comedic moments from what I recall.

  • Lucid Walk

    *CLAPPING HANDS.*

    Congrats to Carson and to all the finalists. Don’t know about you, but I’m feeling reinvigorated to write some more.

    I’d love to read 19 Hours, The Man Who Killed Samuel Lodge, Liberty Island and Bait.

    Oh, and Wars of Eternal Spring deserves its spot on this list. Great read.

  • BMCHB

    Huge congratulations to all that made the cut.

    2 standouts for me are:
    Disorder and The Coyote

    I also like Liberty Island a lot. Obvious popcorn film here. Possibly The Rock on the East Coast? I thought I read a similar logline before but if not and/or this one is executed well/uniquely then I’d expect this to be picked up for Summer 2018 release.

    EDIT: And mega Congratulations to Carson for getting to this point.

    • smishsmosh22

      at first I thought he meant a real coyote like the animal. haha. guess I am unfamiliar with that term.

  • Scott Crawford

    Liberty Island… if the execution is as good as the concept, I’ve always wanted to see Die Hard on the Statue of Liberty!

    • jeaux

      When I read the longline, I thought of you Scott. Sounded right up your alley. Congrats to the top 25! Hopefully we get to read some.

      • Scott Crawford

        You’re right… bad guys, real-time execution, limited setting… boom! I love that sort of thing. And I’m not alone.

        • Scott Strybos

          Real-time is a favorite element of mine too. So much so I will defend Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s show Watching Ellie with my dying breath. (But, seriously, that was a good show, right?)

  • G.S.

    Congrats to the 25 and to Carson for getting through this Herculean effort. It’s not only the winners that are better off for having had the contest, but the rest of us as well. I look forward to seeing what comes of these scripts, the writing group and the site.

  • GoIrish

    Congrats, writers! The Nothing Man sounds like a great premise.

    (On an unrelated note, anybody got that number for that truck driving school? )

    • jeaux

      haha. right!

    • wlubake

      Nothing Man could be a great series, too. To me the best elements of the concept might not be fully exploitable in a feature, though I’d be curious to see what the writer did.

      • BMCHB

        Yep, great TV premise for sure. Make it a guy and girl and you’d have an interesting will they/won’t they team up, too.

    • Scott Strybos

      Agreed.

    • klmn

      Isn’t Miss Universe your script?

      But there’s nothing wrong with truck driving.

      • GoIrish

        I had the illegal immigrant from Canada. I think the writer for Ms. Universe posts under “cjob” (or something like that).

        • klmn

          I remember now. I liked your script. It could have made the 25.

      • GoIrish

        Also, the truck driving school line was (loosely) stolen from Top Gun (I think I heard some talk about Top Gun 2 on the radio the other day).

    • Nick Morris

      For what it’s worth, driving a truck is great for outlining story ideas in your head. :)

    • smishsmosh22

      does anyone else love the movie Over The Top? (truck driving/arm wrestling) :)

      • jeaux

        I wouldn’t say I love it, but it is a “classic” that a friend and I joke about to this day. Especially the part about turning your hat around when you’re ready to “take care of business”. Oh and we made custom T-shirts with the Over the Top logo. Prolly shouldn’t have mentioned any of this.

        • smishsmosh22

          omg! I want that tshirt! haha. I know it got bad reviews but i looooove this movie. sometimes I listen to the theme song on repeat and I am instantly transported back to the 80’s. I just love the relationship between father and son. And who doesn’t love arm wrestling? :)

          • smishsmosh22

            for your enjoyment jeaux https://youtu.be/3pYNd0MSVXs

          • jeaux

            Haha. Is that on cassette in your firebird?

          • smishsmosh22

            I actually have a cd player WITH a usb port in my firebird, so I can listen to my playlist on my iphone and YES it’s on there. hahah.

          • jeaux

            Ha. If I can dig up the artwork, I’ll send you one. You’d be one of only three I imagine.

          • smishsmosh22

            oooo! i’d love that!

  • jaehkim

    congrats to all the writers who made the top 25. a lot of great concepts here. my favorite is the NOTHING MAN.

  • SinclareRose

    Congrats everyone!!! Wish there were links to them all. Best of luck!

  • Lucid Walk

    Will links for the scripts be posted?

    • wlubake

      He said no the other day. May see some scripts reviewed down the line if they do not make the final cut.

    • klmn

      You can use the search function to find Miss Universe and Wars of Eternal Spring.

      I’m kinda surprised Greg’s submarine script didn’t make the cut.

      • andyjaxfl

        I laughed at your comment and now I’m going to hell.

      • smishsmosh22

        the Miss Universe script link is expired tho.

        • klmn

          You can always email Scott Crawford.

  • wlubake

    I was surprised to walk away from several of the loglines slightly confused and underwhelmed. It just goes to show that a great script and great logline don’t always go hand-in-hand.

    The ones that sound like movies to me: YESTERDAY (ambitious), THE COYOTE (Safe House meets Sicario), GHOSTS OF DICKENS (takes the very successful approach of looking at a critical snap-shot of a very famous person’s life – think Lincoln), 19 FLOORS (like a video game come to life) and BAIT (please re-write for Jim Carrey who may actually do something like this now, and needs a shot in the arm).

  • 95Forty Productions

    Congrats to all of you!!

    But I gotta say, with the right cast and director, Miss Universe could be a classic comedy. Assuming the script lives up to the logline. I laughed out loud just from the Logline.

    • cjob3

      It doesn’t but thanks!! :)

  • Tal Gantz

    Congrats to all the writers who made it! As a huge Dickens fan, I look forward to seeing GHOST OF DICKENS on the big screen.

  • jeaux

    Any of you who didn’t make the cut from 250 to 25 care to post your log line? Curious to see what made the first wave.

    • klmn

      I’ll post mine. What the hell.

      TITLE: Corridor of Freaks

      GENRE: Black Comedy/ Horror

      LOGLINE: Kevin – an aspiring escape artist – leads a group of activists as they attempt to stop experiments on animals. They break into a research lab and enter the nightmare world of the corridors where they encounter semi-human examples of genetic engineering gone wrong, and have to escape becoming the next “lab rats.”

      • wlubake

        I like this concept as a straight horror. Maybe the black comedy kept it out of contention. Really hard to strike that right balance with black comedy (and it isn’t known to sell that well).

        • klmn

          There’s plenty of horror, but I didn’t want to write 90 pages of jump scares. I tried to develop the characters and delay the horror until the third act.

          Maybe I made a mistake.

          • wlubake

            It may be great. That is just what I would blindly suspect the issue to be. Black comedy is very hit or miss.

            That said, there is something definitely there with the concept and set-up.

          • wlubake

            I’d say the simplest form of this is very sellable in horror:

            When a group of animal rights activists break into a research facility to free its test subjects, they discover nightmarish semi-human genetic engineering gone wrong and must escape to avoid becoming the next “lab rats”.

            But yes, it suggests a combination of jump scares and torture porn.

          • smishsmosh22

            good logline. are we supposed to inject humor into our loglines if its a horror comedy?

          • wlubake

            I think the premise should be inherently ironic or funny (like Miss Universe). If you gave me the logline to Die Hard and told me it was a comedy, I’d be confused.

          • smishsmosh22

            good point.

          • klmn

            Thanks. I posted it to the BlackList.

            I haven’t got any reviews yet, so I’ll see how it goes.

      • jeaux

        Yes I remember some of the regulars discussing this. I like the log line and would give it a read if available. Good luck!

      • smishsmosh22

        that sounds good klmn!

      • Shawn Davis

        Nice logline!!!

        Shawn…..><

      • romer6

        I am not really into horror but even among horror movies those that deal with “aberrations” are the ones that scare me the most… If I see one of these I stay awake for days! I would never see yours, but I hope it gets made someday!

        • klmn

          I drew my inspiration from the science of teratology – “the study of human monsters.”

          I first encountered it – and the non-PC definition – in the 1890 British medical book, “Medical Curiosities.” You can read it online at Google Books. Amazon has a Kindle edition but it doesn’t have the pictures – the best part. The chapter headings (in the Google book) are links to the chapters.

          Check out chapter 5 – Major Terata.

          For more horrific fun, google the term “pickled punks.” Don’t do this at work, as one link features images set to music.

          EDIT. If my script ever gets made, I expect some people will cover their eyes in parts of the third act, and others will leave the theater.

          • romer6

            I like your idea a lot, and I see you’ve done your homework there… but I will never… never… ever!!! search those words! Thanks for the heads up. hahaha

    • Shawn Davis

      Title – Equal Retribution (What Doesn’t Kill You)

      Genre – Supernatural Thriller

      Logline – In the near future, a law allowing convicted child murderers to be executed and resuscitated according to the number of crimes they committed, forces an alleged killer to use what little time he has while legally dead, to gather clues in the afterlife, and prove his innocence before his time runs out, all while a hard-nosed detective races against the clock to solve the case.

      • jeaux

        That’s a pretty unique concept! I think I remember you and/or others mentioning What Doesn’t Kill You in past discussions. Sounds familiar at least.

        • Shawn Davis

          You’re right, jeaux

          This was one featured here as “What Doesn’t Kill you” and got a [XX] WTR from Carson.

          Shawn…..><

      • Howie428

        Solid sounding concept, and a tough one to explain in one sentence.

      • Scott Strybos

        A strong concept, unfortunately, diluted a little by your logline—a sprawling, run-on sentence. Loglines can be two or three sentences; I would consider breaking it up into smaller, easily digestible parts.

        I was a little unclear on:

        is the detective working on your protagonist’s behalf?

        when he is legally dead is he investigating his case in the real world as an apparition? Or is he questioning dead people in Heaven or Purgatory?

        Each time he is pulled back to the land of the living, as he is repeatedly killed and resuscitated, is this what hinders his investigation?

        Time runs out. Does his time run out after he has been killed and resuscitated a certain amount of times, then killed for good?

        • Shawn Davis

          Man, you have some great questions.

          I have to be honest, this logline was mostly written by a producer who loved the script and wanted everything AND the kitchen sink thrown in.

          He said this was the way a logline should play out. I am WEAK as hell on loglines so I took this one and ran.

          I suppose it’s time to revisit it.

          Especially with the contest season coming up.:)

          Thanks again for the thoughtful input.

          Shawn…..><

          • Scott Strybos

            To be fair to the producer, there are a lot of elements to your concept, and the logline should contain most of it.

            You need to establish your protagonist, the crime he is accused of, that he is innocent, that this is a world where criminals are killed and resuscitated as punishment, his goal of solving his case in the afterlife and in what form he does this, what is making it difficult to do this, and what his deadline is.

            You probably don’t need to mention the detective’s simultaneous investigation.

      • wlubake

        Source Code meets Flatliners. Nice.

        I agree with Scott that the logline is wordy.

        In a future where serial killers are executed (and resuscitated) once per victim, a wrongly-convicted man must use his time in the afterlife – between each death and resuscitation – to gather evidence and prove his innocence before his final sentence is carried out.

        • Shawn Davis

          I like your take on this. Thanks for the input!!!

          Shawn…..><

        • Scott Strybos

          Great logline!

    • Clint Williams

      Title: Deliver Us From Evil

      Genre: Action/horror

      Logline: A war-weary knight home from the Crusade is forced to fight
      again as he leads
      his comrades and a motley band of refugees in a battle for
      survival against an army of the undead.
      The pitch: An earlier version of Deliver Us From Evil was grist for the Amateur Friday mill in 2012. We think this version is better. One Black List reader called it a “nearly perfect zombie movie” and gave it an overall score of 8.

      • romer6

        I enjoyed the first version, if this one is better I have no doubt it is awesome!

        • Clint Williams

          Happy to send along PDF of version entered in SS250.

          • romer6

            Please do! romer6 gmail com Thanks!

    • I WRITE FILMS

      CHICANERY
      When new evidence surfaces in her case, the victim of an unsolved rape must navigate through a devils playground of manipulation, deception and betrayal when her husband becomes the prime suspect.

      Genre – Thriller

      PITCH
      Don’t we all love a story where we don’t know how it’s going to end? A story when things aren’t always what they seem but always make sense. A story that makes you think “this is some deep S%it”. I know you do Carson, that’s your hope as a reader. You want to read amazing scripts — and this, my friend, is an AMAZING script! Enjoy.

    • GYAD

      Why not:

      BLACKSITE

      Action/Thriller

      When terrorists storm a secret CIA prison, a tortured soldier must stop them before they can free a mysterious prisoner who has a secret which could rebuild Al Qaeda.

  • Citizen M

    Congratulations to all the winners. I remember Wars of Eternal Spring and Miss Universe. Glad to see them on the list.

    • scriptfeels

      I think its great to see some of the success from af spill over into the contest. I’m also curious if any of the other scripts were past af scripts because I don’t recognize them.

  • Daivon Stuckey

    Congrats to all the winners. A lot of great concepts.

    I would consider getting cracking on rewrites of my submission, but I don’t know what’s wrong with it! Haha, I’ll just work on a different project I guess.

    • hickeyyy

      Care to share what your submission was?

      • Daivon Stuckey

        Title: Rusalka
        Genre: Thriller/Horror
        Logline: A mermaid has to escape from the luxurious penthouse of a ruthless collector that has taken her prisoner.

        • hickeyyy

          That sounds good. Maybe it is in the execution? I’d be willing to give you notes if you want someone to check it out for you and give you advice?

          • Daivon Stuckey

            I’d like that. Shoot my an email at daivonsaturnfilm at gmail.com

    • klmn

      I enjoyed reading your script. I don’t think there was really anything wrong with it.

      Although it’s mostly confined to one location, that setting would be pretty expensive to create. But Carson has chosen other projects that sound more expensive. So, who knows?

    • smishsmosh22

      sorry you didn’t make it, I really enjoyed your script as well (still waiting for you to answer my last email about the photograph!).

  • Paul Clarke

    Wow, I hope the scripts are better than the loglines.

    Outside of Liberty Island, Miss Universe, and Ghost of Dickens I couldn’t imagine any of the others ending up at the cinema.

    I thought this was all about producible concepts?

    • klmn

      Some of ‘em look to be pretty high budget. Isn’t LG mostly known for smaller budget scripts?

      • wlubake

        Thought the plan was to take the winner “to market”. Thus, budget doesn’t necessarily preclude anyone from winning, as there is a market at all budget levels if the script is good enough.

    • Levres de Sang

      I was struck most of all by the sudden mania for naming one’s characters in the logline?

      • BMCHB

        Have you spotted Carson’s ‘weakness’?

        • Levres de Sang

          No… Please enlighten me!

        • andyjaxfl

          Time travel, sink holes, In and Out, and JJ Abrams!

          • BMCHB

            Ha. No. Just maybe that he likes his characters named in loglines. Only based on today, of course. But…

            ‘JJ Abrams dives in and out of sink holes to time travel’ might be a logline he’d like…

      • ripleyy

        I thought that was a big no-no UNLESS it’s a sequel?

    • Reader1

      Have to agree these logline a leave much to be desired, but congrats to all who made it.

      The Pryre grabbed my attention. And I’m thinking the concept Carson referred to is Miss Universe, which they can always get another writer to re-write.

    • Eric Melker

      I agree. I was really shocked at the lack of viable concepts and log lines that were, meh. I would be surprised if these loglines went out as queries if any of them got many read requests.

    • ShiroKabocha

      Couple familiar loglines, and among those 25 only one got me genuinely excited (The Passage). The genres and stories represented here aren’t exactly my cup of tea unfortunately… Fun contest though :) (well, not for Carson but for us on the passenger seat it sure is a fun ride)

      • bluebaybandit

        Cheers, ShiroKabocha! There’s a whiskey in my hand right now and it’s saluting you.

        • ShiroKabocha

          Cheers to you too :) And good luck with your script !

    • ximan

      Nothing Man also sounds like a movie.

    • Eddie Panta

      I think these loglines are and should be longer than normal because it’s a blind competition to qualify.

      But yeah, these concepts appear to be much bigger productions than I would of imagined.

    • lesbiancannibal

      Surprised by this reaction – think you might be comparing them to the highest quality films rather than a lot of what gets made.

      Serpentine has a lot of promise, same but different to Source Code, Edge of Tomorrow etc and a female lead. (something about female Taken?)

      And 19 Floors, This Close both sound decent, along with the ones you’ve mentioned. The Passage is pretty creative too.

  • wlubake

    So does anyone recognize any of the writer names as regulars? Is Ellis Ripley the “Ripley” that comments here?

    • Midnight Luck

      Yes, this won AoW one week and was reviewed on AmFri the following week. This was very beloved by many, and she has been a longtime follower of SS for years, though she comes and goes over time.

      Title: Wars of Eternal Spring
      Genre: Martial Arts/Period
      Logline: A rebellious-minded woman in ancient China seeks the help of Shaolin Temple to save her family and village from a love-obsessed General and his bloodthirsty Captain.

      Writer: Elizabet Barilleaux

  • ripleyy

    Holy shit, I made it. “Flyuxaphine”. Thank you for including me in the Top 25! I’m trying very hard not to freak out here

    In other news, the rest sound amazing. I can’t narrow done the best. “The Passage” is definitely interesting.

    • smishsmosh22

      congrats ripleyy!

      • ripleyy

        Thanks, smish!

    • jeaux

      Just go ahead and freak out – no one would blame you. Yours was one of the log lines I liked the most, by the way. Good luck, Rip!

      • ripleyy

        Thank you!

    • jaehkim

      congrats ripleyy on making it into the top 25.
      Flyuxaphine is a great concept and the logline jumped out at me when i read it.
      great job.

      • ripleyy

        Thanks for the kind words, jae. :)

    • Scott Crawford

      I… I think we need to see your face now!

      • ripleyy

        I’m actually Sigourney Weaver. Plot twist!

        • The Soul of Gary Collins

          I knew that when I saw the word ‘terraforming’.

          • Thaddeus Arnold

            Or the name “Ellis Ripley”.

    • Nick Morris

      Sweet! Congrats!

      • ripleyy

        Thanks, Nick!

    • Poe_Serling

      Hey ripleyy-

      Nice to see a familiar avatar on top of the heap. What does Flyuxaphine mean in relation to your story (unless it’s a plot spoiler)?

      Good luck in the next round.

      • ripleyy

        It derives from the word “Flux”. In the story, the malfunction releases a gas called “Flyuxaphine” which causes anyone who inhales it to “fluctuate” between being extremely violent and manic to being surprisingly calm within a moments notice. Thats the gist of it.

        • jeaux

          Now I’m digging it even more! Would love to read it sometime. Or see it as a movie.

    • Midnight Luck

      Congrats!

      • ripleyy

        Thanks!

    • ThomasBrownen

      Congrats Ripleyy!

      • ripleyy

        Thank you, Thomas :)

    • LaughDaily

      Congrats! Very well deserved!

    • romer6

      Yes! That’s awesome, ripleyy!! Always nice to see a long time scriptshadower fellow among the best! Hope to see you in the top five! :)

      • Scott Crawford

        To be fair, I suspect many of the these top 25 writers have been reading SS for some time, even if they haven’t been commenting. But I do really appreciate the efforts of people like ripleyy who DO comment, so – yeah! – fantastic!

        • Howie428

          I’m not sure about this. I suspect that this contest found its way onto some of the screenplay contest platforms and was listed as a free contest that you just had to send an email to enter. It’s entirely possible that many finalists will only find out when Carson notifies them.

      • ripleyy

        Thank you! Hope to see you there to :)

    • Stephjones

      Awesome! Good luck moving forward!

    • BigDeskPictures

      It’s ripleyy’s world, we just live in it. Congratulations my digital colleague! Fingers crossed for Top 5.

    • bluebaybandit

      Right back at ya, ripleyy! Flyuxaphine sounds heady (and is really fun to spell).

  • TajRoy Duane Calhoun

    19 Floors sounds just perfect for film. I could imagine having each of the floors presenting some new challenge/monster/spectacle, even if some of them might go by in single scenes or montages.

    Serpentine sounds amazingly interesting. Yesterday as well, but the lack of a clearly obtainable goal or genre (‘Sci-Fi’ denotes the trappings, but gives no indication to the tone or structure of storytelling) makes it feel more vague. Still, both have incredibly interesting premises. Though not involving time, The Nothing Man also has an interesting speculative premise in the same vein, and I think could make a great tv series–it’s like a combination of The Blacklist and Minority Report.

    Lies, Blackmail, and other Egregious Behavior sounds like a Coen Brothers film down to the title, and that is a compliment.

    Miss Universe is probably the most perfect premise, in that hearing it I now can’t believe it hasn’t been made. Not the kind of movie I’d see in theaters myself–probably would only watch it if a friend wants to or I catch it on cable–but still. It’s a great comedic gimmick, and I could see a producer gobbling it up off that alone.

    Flyuxaphine sounds like Dead Space. Not a complaint. There’s an industrial feel to it i like, and having that guiding friendly voice by headset I think could be great, and could potentially lead to a good moment of horror or sorrow if it introduces the possibility of her also having gone mad, and maybe leading him to his doom.

    • ripleyy

      Hi, writer of “Flyuxaphine”. You’re right that Dead Space was an inspiration. It also has a video game feel to it, as well (plus, I love the Dead Space series. I could talk about it for hours)

  • Stephen Herman

    Wow! Congrats everyone who made the list! Good luck with getting the projects done. Some great loglines in here. Yesterday by John Bradley really sounds promising.

  • Midnight Luck

    And then there were 25

    Congratulations everyone! Great job, and I am hoping that amazing things happen for all of you. This was quite the test, to have one lone person review, who knows how many thousands of ideas, loglines and scripts, and narrow it down to you lucky 25.

    And now it will become SS’s own version of:

    AND THEN THERE WAS ONE (WERE NONE)
    or
    TEN LITTLE INDIANS

    So, again, best of luck to each and every one of you. I hope you come out standing.

    Now, in terms of the chosen ones, this one is absolutely right up my alley. I would love to read it if the writer is interested in sending it along: m ((at)) blackluck –dott– com

    Title: A Quickening
    Genre: Drama/Thriller
    Logline: A woman working as a surrogate for a powerful New York couple gets treated like dirty laundry, until the couple’s marriage falls apart and they ask her to abort the pregnancy, leading her to turn the tables on them and blackmail her way to the American dream.

    Writer: Jacob Albert

    • smishsmosh22

      yes that is the one that made me go OOOOOOoooooOOo good idea :)

      • Midnight Luck

        I know. Great idea. I can see the movie play in my head.

        Mixes Cinderella type story with a gnarly surrogate / pregnancy idea, mixed with 1% / 99% issues of income and privilege inequality.

        Love it.

  • Stevetmp

    Congrats, finalists! Looking forward to reading these at some point down the line.

  • andyjaxfl

    Congrats to all. Some interesting concepts on the list, and I hope I get a chance to read some of these.

  • Omar Samir

    Congrats to the winners.
    Whoever they are. Now I have to dive into the comments to figure out who’s who. Unless some kind soul connects the dots for me. I’ve already made the ultimate conclusion that Ripleyy is Ripley. The world’s greatest detective.

  • Altius

    Congratulations to all you happy writers out there today!

    Especially stoked to see Drone, Wars of Eternal Spring, and Miss Universe in there. Well done!

  • A Guy

    Will we get a list of near-misses now that the final top 25 have been decided?

  • klmn

    I’m really surprised not to see Fatties on the list.

    Maybe it wasn’t submitted, but it remains my favorite amateur script ever featured on this site.

    • Howie428

      And where is Game of 72, damn it?!!! :)

      • Mayhem Jones

        LMAOOOOO. Where is Game of 72!? Carson’s “CIRCULAR FILE”, of course!! I couldn’t even pitch it for the 250 because it was written about a month after the deadline. I’m with KLMN though–BRING BACK FATTIES!!

  • hickeyyy

    Decided to go through each of these and rate my interest.

    Albion: Sounds pretty interesting. Would watch on Netflix, but wouldn’t rush to theaters unless the trailer killed it.

    Fourth Time’s A Charm: I don’t think I’d watch this movie. Doesn’t sound all that compelling to me. Maybe a Netflix watch if I can’t find anything else intriguing, but unlikely.

    Bait: No way in hell this would get made based on that logline.

    19 Floors: I’d go to the theaters for this assuming the trailer looked good and didn’t have Dolph Lundgren starring.

    This Close: Not a theater film for me. If it got some award buzz, I’d Netflix it. Otherwise, avoid.

    Drone: I would Netflix, but not theater. Sounds like a solid idea.

    Jack Curious: Time traveling detective? Could be good. With a good trailer, I’d go to the theater to see it. Bad trailer? Avoid completely. Completely execution dependent.

    Serpentine: I really loved Groundhog Day and Edge of Tomorrow, but I’m scared the “reliving the same day” trope is going to become annoying. I’d pass completely.

    Lies, Blackmail, and Other Egregious Behavior: Screams Netflix, but would need a good trailer. Otherwise, avoid.

    Disorder: I think this could be good. I’d be into it, but not theaters. Netflix worthy!

    Flyuxaphine: This sounds like it could be awesome, but the logline really doesn’t tell us what the goal is. I’d watch this if it came out though.

    The Passage: I wouldn’t see this in theaters. Maybe on Netflix if word of mouth was good.

    Wars of Eternal Spring: I remember this one from a previous AF review. Word of mouth is awesome for the script, so I’d check it out in theaters, but without that? It’d be Netflix for me.

    Wheelman: Not sure. Sounds like Driver but with a more convoluted storyline. I’d pass.

    Ghosts of Dickens: Sounds intriguing, but unless it received serious buzz, I’d probably avoid it.

    The Coyote: This sounds similar to something I have written down in my ideas notebook that I haven’t come back to, so I’m partial to it. I’d go see this one.

    A Quickening: I don’t get the title, but this sounds really exciting. I’d go to the theaters for this one.

    Seventy Times in Black: I like the sound of this one. I’d see this in theaters if it was a slow week, and otherwise, I’d Netflix it. But I’d definitely watch it.

    The Man Who Killed Samuel Lodge: This sounds decent enough. I enjoy the Western genre, so I’d be intrigued if reviews were solid. Otherwise, probably avoid. Westerns are tough to sell nowadays.

    Miss Universe: Definitely the most clever concept here. This is a theater film.

    The Watcher: This is like Rear Window but a bit darker. I would check it out on Netflix but not make a point to go to the theater.

    Liberty Island: This is without a doubt a theater film. Die Hard in the Statue of Liberty? The fact this isn’t already a movie blows my mind. This is printing money as we speak.

    The Pyre: This is my personal favorite idea, but not the best idea. I would see this in the theaters if the trailer looked good or had good buzz. Otherwise, I’d Netflix.

    The Nothing Man: This is just a great idea. Cloning a criminal to get into his mind? Beautiful. I would go to cinema for this, no doubt.

    Yesterday: Netflix maybe, if word of mouth is good.

  • Zero

    I’m glad I read this today. It’s already begun to stir my imagination for new feature ideas, and it’s a good thing, because my imagination has been somewhat sluggish recently.

  • Levres de Sang

    Congrats to the chosen few! The two that caught my eye on first look were The Pyre and The Man Who Killed Samuel Lodge.

  • John Bradley

    Hey everybody, one of the writers of Yesterday, this was pretty awesome to wake up to. I have a co-writer, Jason Lewis, who worked on this with me, and wanted to make sure he is included (already emailed Carson).
    I’m about to head off to an 8 hour day of work, so I wont be able to participate too much throughout the day. I am extremely humbled and grateful for this opportunity. Congrats to all the other writers who made it. There are some killer concepts I see and look forward to reading them at some point.

    • ThomasBrownen

      Congrats John!

      • John Bradley

        Thank you, Thomas!

    • Scott Strybos

      Yesterday was my favorite logline from the bunch! Great job, to the both of you.

      • John Bradley

        Thank you, Scott!

    • Comma

      Hello, I love your logline, it s my favourite between the list – would it be possible to read thescript (just for my pleasure). Thanks anyway!

    • Stephjones

      So happy to see you on the list, John! Best of luck moving forward!

      • John Bradley

        Thank you Steph!

    • Jason Lewis

      Just popped on to echo everything John has already said. This has been one of my favorite scripts to work on, and I’m indebted to John for inviting me on board. Congrats to the rest of the top 25, and thanks for the kind replies!

  • jonsanhueza

    Huge congrats to the top 25! All sound like some incredibly inventive stories, the Nothing Man in particular caught my eye :)

  • 95Forty Productions

    Not gonna lie, this is got me really excited to participate if Carson ever does this again. I would have participated this year but I didn’t discover the site until after the deadline.

    But now, if he runs another contest… I shall have something to submit! Muahahahahahahaha!

  • Dan B

    Big Congrats to everyone who made the top 25! Had a feeling that Miss Universe was going to make it.

  • LaughDaily

    Congrats and Good lucky to everyone.

  • Wijnand Krabman

    Hey Carson, you must be relieved now. Congrats to you and to this 25 writers. There are some great ideas here. I especially like, based on the loglines: The nothing man, Yesterday, Liberty Island, Disorder, and Bait.

  • Tal Gantz

    Crossing my fingers for you, Matt!

    By the way, have you read Dan Simmons’s novel DROOD? It’s a fictionary tale of Dickens’ last five years told by Wilkie Collins – a fantastic book!

    • Matt Bishop

      No, but it sounds interesting. Will have to check it out. Thanks for the recommendation.

  • ScriptChick

    Congrats to the top 25! Hope to read the scripts soon hopefully! :)

  • klmn

    OT. Merle Haggard has passed away.

    • Nick Morris

      NOOOO!!!!

    • wlubake

      In a television appearance with Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash recalled one of his trademark prison concerts in San Quentin. Haggard remarked that he’d been there for the concert. When Cash noted that he didn’t recall Haggard being on the bill that day, Haggard replied, “I was in the audience, Johnny.”

    • Lisa Chapman

      Outlaw down. RIP

  • Eddie Panta

    Big props to C for getting this done! What a YUUUGE undertaking.

    First off, it’s easy to see how much emphasis the loglines placed on the “U” for urgency. Seeing a lot of concepts that are a race against time.. Scripts that take place in 24-48hrs or under constriction of time or space.

    Most of these titles are freakin’ awesome… More than a few are 70’s influenced.

    It appears longer loglines were the way to go for this competition.

    THE WATCHER and A QUICKENING seems like the most contemporary and doable concepts. Miss Universe is right up there too.
    The JACK CURIOUS logline is the most basic premise I might of read on this site. But hey, maybe that’s a viable way to go. I’m also intrigued by THE PYRE, which appears to be the most straight up horror script out of the lot.

    Overall, most of the concepts are a bit too blacklisty for my taste. About half seem directly influenced by the known angles that regularly make the list. Also the TOP 25 list reads like a well designed sampling of genres. Horror, thriller, cops, strong female lead, historical, etc…

    Here’s a short tally of prominent concepts represented in the TOP 25

    Ground hog day
    Time Travel
    Die Hard on Statue of Liberty
    DRONE strike ethical conflict
    Cloning
    Terra forming

    Comedy farce with real life A-LIST actor.
    Serial Killer w/ a conscious

    Getting inside the mind of a killer.

  • http://the-movie-nerd.com themovienerd

    Huge congrats to the writers here! May good things continue flowing your way!

    I recently pitched something very, very akin to the Dickens idea. I love Dickens’ life story, and tying it to the story that made Christmas the modern iteration of Christmas has been received well, but not without some hesitation. However, if the writer executes on that, they may have something, for sure!

    Good luck all!

    • Matt Bishop

      Thanks, that’s why I wrote it, too. A CHRISTMAS CAROL had such a huge impact on our modern Christmas traditions, and most people don’t realize it. Plus the true story of Dickens’ mounting debts and declining popularity before he wrote it (and tragic childhood as background) appealed to me.

  • nutt34

    Matt – Congratulations! In a bizarre coincidence, I, too, just recently finished a screenplay on the exact same subject (Dickens writing “A Christmas Carol”) – such a great story; would love to see how similar/different our projects are.. best of luck in the contest -Fred

  • MrMcGuffin

    Miss Universe is a beautifully simple, brilliant concept.

  • Steven Dente

    Hi everyone. Thanks for the encouraging wishes. Thanks to Carson for inclusion on this list, but more importantly, thanks for “getting it” lol.

    • Scott Crawford

      These “thank you” posts need to be much higher up the page!

      • Howie428

        Sort by newest and this one is second from the top!

    • Howie428

      My congratulations to you and your wife, Angus. :)

      • Steven Dente

        Haha thanks! She says “thank you.” Between farts, of course.

  • Sean Reardon

    Congrats to all 25! Hopefully, I / we’ll get to read some of them in the future. Best of luck to all in the next round.

    • klmn

      I’ll be looking forward to seeing what – if anything – makes it into production.

  • Tal Gantz

    The more Dickens the better! Another fascinating subject is Dickens writing his last, unfinished novel, “The Mystery of Edwin Drood”. There are the novels “Drood” by Dan Simmons (which I recommended to Matt below) and “The Last Dickens” by Matthew Pearl – both are great!

  • HRV

    Congrats and best of luck to those who made it this far.

  • HRV

    Contact me a websleuth@hotmail.com and I’ll send you a copy.

  • carsonreeves1

    If this were a logline contest, this list would be a lot different. There were better loglines. But it’s one thing to come up with a great logline. It’s another to execute it, as I was reminded during this process.

  • cjob3

    Thanks, Carson. It’s an honor to be included in this group. I’ve been to a lot of writing sites in the past, probably all of them, but I can honestly say none has done anywhere near what Scriptshadow has done for my would-be writing career. Not even close. And I never spent a penny.

    Even more, I have to thank this COMMUNITY. I’ve had two scripts reviewed and BOTH were pitched during Pitch Your Own Logline days. They both got reviews based on their number votes they received. (even just last week “Secret Santa” came in second!) So big thanks to all of you for your support and invaluable feedback, especially during that fateful amateur Friday, almost one year ago today.

    • smishsmosh22

      High five! I would love to read it but I understand if you need to keep it under wraps now. I hope to one day follow in your footsteps – I seem to have popular loglines, now I just have to execute them!

    • ThomasBrownen

      Congrats!!

  • Ninjaneer

    Congratulations! Making it into the top 25 is quite the achievement so please don’t take any of my ratings below in the wrong way. It’s hard to judge with just Title and Logline. Also I am biased towards Mystery/Thriller/Adventure.

    Albion: Nothing particularly stands out about this. If you are into period war movies then you’ll see it, if not you prolly won’t. I do like the irony of a sheltered scholar having to lead though.
    My interest: 4
    Marketability: 4

    Fourth Time’s a Charm:
    My interest: 2
    Marketability: 4

    Bait: Needs to be reworked a little in light of the recent oscar win but it’s could make for a really fun movie.
    My interest: 8
    Marketability: 9 (If big time actors play themselves)

    19 Floors: most people have mentioned The Raid and Dredd but this also reminds me of Snowpiercer. I wasn’t a fan of Dredd or Snowpiercer but there is definitely a market for this kind of thing.
    My interest: 5
    Marketability: 6

    This Close:
    My interest: 3
    Marketability: 2

    Drone:
    My interest: 3
    Marketability: 5

    Jack Curious: Mot a fan of the title. I think the logline needs to include more dramatic content. We have a goal but no stakes or urgency.
    My interest: 4
    Marketability: 4-6 (hard to tell, logline is sparse)

    Serpentine: Some commentors have said the groundhog day concept is getting played out but I think it still can be an interesting story device.
    My interest: 6
    Marketability: 6

    Lies, Blackmail, and other Egregious Behavior: Nice Title
    My interest: 3
    Marketability: 3

    Disorder: Interesting concept. I like the built in mystery.
    My interest: 7
    Marketability: 6

    Flyuxaphine: Congrats Ripleyy!!
    My interest: 7
    Marketability: 7

    The Passage:
    My interest: 5
    Marketability: 6

    Wars of Eternal Spring:
    My interest: 5
    Marketability: 5

    Wheelman:
    My interest: 4
    Marketability: 5

    Ghosts of Dickens:
    My interest: 5
    Marketability: 6

    The Coyote: Once I see DEA I immediately start to lose interest, but that’s just me :)
    My interest: 3
    Marketability: 4

    A Quickening:
    My interest: 3
    Marketability: 4

    Seventy Times in Black: Reminds me of True Detective
    My interest: 3
    Marketability: 3

    The Man Who Killed Samuel Lodge:
    My interest: 4
    Marketability: 4

    Miss Universe: It’s not my thing but it’s received a lot of love from the SS community.
    My interest: 2
    Marketability: 7

    The Watcher:
    My interest: 4
    Marketability: 4

    Liberty Island: Sure to be picked up by the “X has fallen” series :)
    My interest: 4
    Marketability: 7

    The Pyre: I’m not sure what happens during the three days. Do we just follow her dredging the lake?
    My interest: 3
    Marketability: 4

    The Nothing Man: High Concept but the on the weaker end of high concept.
    My interest: 4
    Marketability: 5

    Yesterday: Interesting :)
    My interest: 7
    Marketability: 7

  • Jarvis Cool

    Does anybody have Bait script? It sounds amazing. I really want to read it.

  • Erica

    Congrats to all those who write and struggle everyday with this form of art. And congratulation to the top 25! For those who didn’t make it this time, hang in there, like Carson said, it doesn’t happen overnight, it can take years and years. We do this because we love it. period.

    For all of us…

  • BryceM

    Hi everyone, the writer of Jack Curious here. I’ve been reading this site for a while now, picking up screenwriting gold from the articles and comments. Maybe now I’ll be more actively involved in the comments community, you all seem like really great people eager to help everyone tell better stories. Congrats to all the other top 25 writers, can’t wait to see what makes it through.

  • Erica

    So for me the only one I really like and could see going into production tomorrow is Miss Universe. I think this has Melissa McCarthy written all over it.

    Disorder is a second for me depending on the script.

    The others I found the loglines just too wordy or nothing that really hooked me. Of course the script could change my mind but the long lines didn’t make me want to watch.

    • klmn

      I don’t think Melissa McCarthy fits the image of Miss Universe.

      • Dan B

        From the script, she could play the mother… but that was a pretty small part.

      • smishsmosh22

        mmmhmmm strange casting choice haha. that being said, I LOVE Melissa McCarthy.

        • klmn

          I assume it’s better than the version that appeared on AF. If Colin brought up the comedy, it could be great.

        • Erica

          Strange choice, yes, doesn’t fit the part, yes, but it’s the irony of it. A marketer’s dream. She didn’t fit the image of a kick ass spy, but I loved that movie.

          Making the script fit Melissa would be the irony or hook if you will. Maybe she was the runner up and the winner got sick or some kind of scandal.

          • BMCHB

            How about Earth tries NOT to win Miss Universe one year and Melissa is the only candidate… ?

          • Midnight Luck

            But how do you actually KNOW?

            There could have been Ms. Uni contests going on for trillions of years before we ever blipped onto the scene. Ours could just be old news to everyone else out there.

          • smishsmosh22

            Ya but that would be a different movie.

  • smishsmosh22

    Yes I think it might actually be 3 ladies, not 2. I realize this is probably reflective of how many women are on this site compared to men but it’s still sad.

  • brenkilco

    I guess the annotations are coming. But I have to confess to being a bit perplexed at the way Carson has presented this list. He has made a large effort to read every word of every one of these. And every one must have made an impression. Presumably he jotted at least a few notes as to why they were superior. The dialogue, the plot, the characterizations, the action prose. Whatever. I personally would have preferred a capsule evaluation to a meaningless regurgitation of the original loglines. I thought we got past the preliminary logline phase six months ago.

    • BMCHB

      Fair comment, Brenkilco.

      Now, I’m not certain of the vagaries of SS250 but, I’ve read it mentioned a couple of times recently that these are loglines/scripts that will be pitched/presented to potential producers and studios.

      If this is the case then the key concepts, either by pitch or execution in the loglines and scripts respectively, are paramount for asserting ‘ownership’ of an/the idea.

      I’ll wager now that from this list there will be, at least:

      One script produced with the writer today given ‘Story By’ credit;

      One script here produced with the writer today given a ‘Screenplay By ”Today’s Writer and AN Other” ‘;

      One logline/script here where the attached writer above gets NO credit;

      and, hopefully, one script here whose writer gets a sole ‘Screenplay By’ credit for a produced script.

      It’s the nature of the game. At every every stage you’re either being rewritten or rewriting someone else.

      No studio will buy a script/concept from an unknown and not have a more experienced writer do ‘a pass’ on it.

      The paramount objective, however, should always be to get paid. And I reckon that 3/4 of the writers above will get paid as a result of making it to the 25.

      Hopefully.

      • walker

        You think that 18 of these writers will get paid as a result of this contest? What?

        • BMCHB

          HA. Knew someone would read it that way.

          Three or four.

          Sorry

          • walker

            Ok that is better but still pretty unrealistic.

          • BMCHB

            Maybe.

            As they are, there are three loglines I’d buy a ticket to go and watch in a theatre.

            But there are also two that I think should be TV series and, again, I’d watch the first episode tonight if pitched as such..

            And that’s disregarding the horrors and westerns that are not my thing at all but that I’m sure others will really like.

            Looking forward to following the progress of these scripts.

      • klmn

        If it’s a WGA covered contract, I think the original writer has to get some kind of credit. If it’s independent, anything goes.

        • walker

          Actually the original writer can be completely left out of the credits of a produced film, whether or not is a union contract.

        • BMCHB

          Only for script?

          Back in my ‘lurking’ days here I remember the exact logline for Elysium being pitched on SS for a logline competition long before it got made…Kept me wary for a long time.

  • Poe_Serling

    Lies, Blackmail, and other Egregious Behavior…

    This Top 25 script is from Aaron Brooks – which I’m guessing is the writer of the script
    Rose.

    Almost exactly one year ago…

    Rose battled it out with Miss Universe on the very same AOW.

    • The Reelist

      Writer of Samuel Lodge here! Thanks for the encouragement! I was blown away to see my name up there, I had to call my wife while I was at work. Congratulations to everyone who entered and to those who made it this far!

      (You’re right on the money about Liberty Valance.)

      • Poe_Serling

        I remember you mentioning once about Carson’s late-night tweet about your script:

        “Majority of readers who see a script is 84 pages, unless it’s a 2-3
        person contained thriller, will be concerned that it’s too thin…

        84 page script DOES follow 1 character, and is actually quite good so
        far. Writer using mystery, suspense, tension to great effect.”

        Glad to see it go from a positive tweet to the Top 25!

  • Mahoney

    Miss Universe sounds like a hoot! Can already see that as a movie. Also, Ellis Ripley is an awesome name for an action hero…

  • Captain Howdy

    Many, many thanks to Carson Reeves, for dropping “Seventy Times in Black” into the top 25 bucket. My co-writer and I are incredibly grateful!

    For those interested, here are the links to two different proof-of-concept segments that my co-writer and I filmed for the script. Hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoyed getting our hands dirty in creating them.

    CONCEPTUAL TRAILER ONE
    https://vimeo.com/134901939

    CONCEPTUAL TRAILER TWO
    https://vimeo.com/133939198

    Cheers!

    • Malibo Jackk

      Like the music in the first video. What song is it?
      And the title of your script — what does it mean?

  • Captain Howdy

    Lol. Feel exactly the same way about my logline for “Seventy Times in Black.” More frustration in creating that then in writing two hundred drafts of the script ; )

  • Wes Mantooth

    Miss Universe, Liberty Island and The Coyote sound the most cinema-ready. I remember Miss Universe from the AOW and the consensus seemed to be the concept was killer but the execution fell short. The writer must have put some serious work into the rewrite. After I read the logline for Liberty Island, I was kind of amazed that no one had come up with that idea before. Seems so damn obvious now, lol. Turns out this story actually took place back in the 70s: http://archives.chicagotribune.com/1977/10/26/page/1/article/30-seize-statue-of-liberty-nabbed

  • lesbiancannibal

    Congratulations to all writers.

    Some cool ideas.

    If I had to choose one to read now, having read Miss Universe and Wars (and possible The Coyote), I’d go for Serpentine.

    The Passage sounds interesting too though, creative and could be awesome. And Liberty, and of course 19 Floors, oh and This Close too.

    Good job Carson. Working on my script for AF. It will be a pure AF baby, written just for you guys.

  • carsonreeves1

    Submission ratio of male to female was about 9 (male) to 1 (female).

    • witwoud

      Then there should have been 2.7777777 female writers.

      #Scriptshadow250SoMale

  • charliesb

    Congrats to the top 25. Nice to see some recognizable names and scripts.

    Hope we can get some reviews of these in the upcoming months. Also when’s the next contest? :)

    P.S. – A QUICKENING sounds fantastic. Also really curious about THE PASSAGE.

  • klmn

    Will there be an article tomorrow? With all the scripts that didn’t make the cut, C should have plenty of material.

    (Speaking from bitter experience here).

  • Clint Williams

    Yes, I did. Good eye.
    That was almost two years ago. The article is here: http://www.scriptsandscribes.com/2014/06/breakdown-loglines/
    And, of course, I sent emails to those folks after the article was posted.
    *crickets*
    I got a couple of reads based on other queries, but no traction. The script was second rounder at Austin, so it’s contest OK, but not professional good.
    The logline:
    Rough Water — A weekend canoe trip becomes a
    perilous game of hide-and-seek when a suburban dad and his young son stumble across a cartel-operated marijuana farm hidden in
    the wilderness of northern California.
    Happy to send it to anyone who wants to read it.

  • Poe_Serling

    A recent tweet from Carson:

    “Grey Matter is already getting excited about one of the scripts from the Scriptshadow 250 in particular. Which one could it be?”

    • Mayhem Jones

      Perhaps the one that begins with B and ends in AIT???! Ugh, so obsessed with this script. LOL!

      • klmn

        The big question mark is will it attract Leo DiCaprio.

        • Mayhem Jones

          I’m honestly wondering if Leo will stick to his typical AAA+++ movie roles or will he starting picking more unconventional stuff now that he’s finally landed that way overdue Oscar.

  • Randall Alexander

    Will there be links to these scripts at some point? Like this week?

  • John Bradley

    Hey guys, I would be happy to send you guys a copy after this whole contest, out of respect to Carson.

  • klmn

    Trying Nicholl today with my Western. Last time I entered I got one positive read. Maybe the rewrite will do better.

  • scriptfeels

    I was really excited by your logline and would love to read it. If you are open to sharing, my email is scwirlysquirrel at gmail dot com. I can give you notes/my thoughts on it after if it is useful at this point. Congrats on the accomplishment!

  • MWire

    Wait, what? I didn’t make the cut? What am I supposed to do with all of this celebratory champagne? Seriously tho, hope to see great things from the 25 people (teams) that did advance. Keep pushing.

  • scriptfeels

    Congrats Everyone who made the top 25! I’m already interested in reading a bulk of the top 25 based off of their loglines. This is really inspiring and I’m excited to see who tops the list for Carson.

  • RyanKirkpatrick

    Congratulations to everybody who made the Top 25!
    For what little it’s worth, I think YESTERDAY is my favorite overall premise (with GHOSTS OF DICKENS having the most solid logline, imo).
    Best of luck to you all, awesome opportunities await — Grey Matter is great people!

    • klmn

      Yes, and good luck to Carson on his producing endeavors.

  • Tor Dollhouse

    So when do you call an idea stolen?

    Previously I had posted a logline to another screenwriting forum a.k.a. The Black Board (R.I.P.) and entered it into numerous competitions under the name “LIBERTY IN RUINS” dating back to 2014 with emails to confirm and provide evidence.

    “Taken hostage inside the Statue of Liberty, a news reporter and her cameraman broadcast live their fight to reach safety before a bomb explodes.”

    Sounds a lot like one of the entries from the top 25.

    Genuinely I do hope the writer makes it through to the top five and hopefully wins, however I do find it interesting and would like to share this experience with the ss community as it may interest other writers who have been or are in a similar situation, and give them a chance to talk about it.

    • klmn

      If the only similarity is the logline, it’s probably a case of independent development.

      • Poe_Serling

        It’s no contest… the best movie featuring the Statue of Liberty – Planet of the Apes. ;-)

        • klmn

          Yeah, but Lady Liberty only had a cameo.

          • Poe_Serling

            But one of the most memorable cameos ever in cinema history. ;-)

    • Andrew Parker

      The logline that Carson selected sounds like Die Hard meets White House Down meets The Rock, except set on Liberty Island.

      Decent high concept — but every action writer in the 1990s must have pitched that to a studio at some point, I would imagine.

      Your has the twist of possibly being found footage though (for better or worse)

    • Malibo Jackk

      Timing is everything.
      How did the script fare with the competitions?

  • Paul Schellens

    Congrats to the top 25. What a ride.

    But damn, I’m bummed. My fault, but I was convinced I was in when Carson tweeted that he had added a Psychological Thriller to his selection, when his previous tweet was about a script that used flashbacks written in italics.
    What are the odds – two Psych thrillers with italicized flashbacks? Certainly not high enough to make me go bragging about it (fortunately) but low enough to give me some confidence.

    I’m going to curl up in a corner now.

  • smishsmosh22

    It’s possible Carson attracts more males than females to this site based on the types of scripts he likes and reviews but I could be wrong. I have seen similar screenwriter sites that happen to be run by a woman and I am fairly certain they attract more women than what I’m seeing here. But there are lots of great female writers here, for sure. Just not enough submitting scripts I guess!

  • Dallas Cobb

    Because I’m a busy college student, I’m incredibly late to the party. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t congratulate everyone who was ambitious enough to participate in the 250. A huge congratulations to the top 25 finalists. You all should be incredibly proud of yourselves! None of this screenwriting business is easy, so enjoy a personal moment to bask in some much needed and much deserved reassurance before you make your next moves!

    And because I’m sure everyone will be checking this post for the next couple days, I figured I’d offer up my own Top 5 finalists (from the 25) just for fun, to see if any of my picks match up with Carson’s when he announces his top 5!

    ((DALLAS’ TOP 5 in no particular order)):
    Bait – shouldn’t be considered “outdated”…we are storytellers…Leo will die a legend one
    day, and actors will be portraying him in the future, no? Could this script be ahead of
    its time?
    This Close – could be interesting if executed properly…maybe this is one of the
    submissions that got in based on execution alone?
    Drone – While reading the logline, I could visualize the movie. Maybe because of its Hurt
    Locker-esque feel? Either way, I’m interested.
    Disorder – I’m a huge fan of psychological thrillers. Another submission where execution
    (and character development) are key, but I’m still very much intrigued.
    The Coyote – I like the irony and tension included in this idea…and while the logline is
    simple…I feel like this movie could contain a lot of emotion…I’m intrigued.

    ((DALLAS’ TOP 5 HONORABLE MENTIONS in no particular order)):
    A Quickening – would work much better as a TV show
    The Nothing Man
    The Watcher
    Wheelman – Like a Liam Neeson-esque blockbuster…very marketable…very interested!
    19 Floors

  • GYAD

    Sad not to have made the top 25 but glad I made the top 250 anyway; congratulations to those who did make it! So happy to see several regulars were successful!

  • witwoud

    Congratulations to the Glorious Twenty-Five! And to Carson, who surely deserves a beer after all that.

  • Discussion

    I thought we’d be able to read them. I’m disappointed.

    On an interesting side-note, has anyone noticed the ratio of male to female writers in the top 25? I could be wrong, but as far as I can tell there are only three female writers: Ellis, Elizabet and Caroline.

    I’m absolutely NOT accusing Carson of only picking male writers. Quite the opposite in fact. Male, female, black, white, green purple or Martian, I don’t think Carson would give a flying fuck who wrote a script as long as it was good.

    But as always, there ratio of men always seems to be much higher than women. So the question is why? People always argue that there are just as many women as many trying to break into the industry (as writers or any capacity), but, I have my doubts personally.

    I have no hard data to back it up, but I believe the reason there are more male screenwriters is because there actually are more male screenwriters.

    Do men ever get jobs over women because of sexism? Absolutely. I don’t doubt that for a second, in this industry and every industry. But I still get the sense that there are more males attempting to break in.

    Am I right? Am I wrong? What do you guys think?

    (It would be interesting to know how many female writers submitted scripts compared to how many male writers submitted scripts)

  • cjob3

    That’s crazy high praise. Thanks, Vin!

  • NajlaAnn

    A selection of very strong loglines!

  • aaron brooks

    Wow. Was not expecting that. Thank you to Carson for putting in all that time and effort. And to those that made the cut – congrats! Can’t wait to read these scripts.

    Lies, Blackmail and Other Egregious Behaviour is a labor of love. Started writing it in 2009. Put it aside. Picked it back up. Changed characters. Changed the plot… Even if it doesn’t make it to the finals, I’d love to hear your thoughts/notes, Carson. Any chance you’ll be in touch with everyone here for a quick chat?

    Best,

    Brooks

  • Discussion

    Because we’re constantly told that half the world is women, and every possible industry out there has equal amounts of men and women trying to break in.

    And how would I know who’s male and who’s female from the names on this board?

  • Elizabeth Barilleaux

    I am totally floored. Firstly, Carson, I apologize for taking so long to acknowledge and thank you for selecting Wars of Eternal Spring for the top 25 – it is one of the top 10 happiest things to ever happen in my life. No joke. Back when you listed it in your Amateur scripts of the year, there was a comment in the introduction about “not being in the Scriptshadow250″, which I interpreted to mean “didn’t make the cut”. Luckily, I was working in my library branch “office” on Wednesday, so when the wave of elation hit, I was able to lock myself in the bathroom and have a happy cry about it. Congratulations and good luck to everyone! There are some fantastic concepts on that board – when I read the logline for Nothing Man my head split open and my brains ran around in circles on little squishy pink feet. I so want to see that one on the screen! Brilliant idea! And thanks again, Carson, for taking the time to put this contest together and your dedication in reading 250 full scripts!

  • august4

    Congrats everyone! I’ve been working on a pilot and didn’t enter, but recognize some of the finalists from past discussions. Best of luck!!

  • Blaise Hesselgren

    Wow! Fantastic news. Thrilled to have got though the last 25 with Albion. I’ve followed scriptshadow from the start, though I’m not one to post, but a huge thanks to Carson for this site which has taught me so much, and of course for doing this competition – an amazing opportunity. Thank you. Now how the bleep do I survive the next couple of weeks?

  • John Bradley

    Thanks David!

  • Elizabeth Barilleaux

    Thanks! Sorry to just get around to reading your post – I’ve had a pestilent 11 year-old at home all week. I appreciate the read and I’m glad you enjoyed it!