Genre: “Comedy” – important to note the quotations
Synopsis: I couldn’t even fucking tell you.
About: I’m shaking my head as I write this. This…script…sold for 850k against 1.6 million (dollars, not pesos)!!!
Writer: Jack Amiel & Michael Begler
Welcome to script 3 of 5 of our top selling scripts of 2008 list. I know there are some new visitors to the site. Let me just say this. I’m not normally this angry. I swear. Go to the backlog of reviews if you don’t believe me. But yesterday’s experience of reading this script was……….it was……..it was not good. I have no more words. Enter at your own risk:
Wedding Banned made me do something I rarely ever do. I stopped reading after 30 pages. Because I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t understand what I was reading. I couldn’t comprehend the fact that this script sold for 8. Hundred. And. 50. Thousand. Dollars. My brain would not accept it. I know comedy is subjective but this had nothing to do with subjectivity. This had to do with common sense. Amiel and Begler literally robbed a bank here. They robbed the bank of my soul. I would not have paid 25 cents for this script. I’m not kidding. I actually want money back for the time that it took me to read these 30 pages.
The “story” revolves around a female lawyer who’s desperately searching for the perfect man and unexpectedly finds him except he just so happens to work in an ice cream truck.
Now that right there? That premise? That actually sounds kind of funny. But Amiel and Begler find out every possible way to make it unfunny. I’m not even sure if what I was reading would be considered jokes. I think they were supposed to be. They were crafted in such a way that it appeared as if jolliness was meant to be had. But nothing behind them was even remotely funny. I would really like to know the circumstances behind who bought this and why. Was this like a bet between studio executives? Like “I bet I can buy a worse screenplay than you”? Seriously, there’s got to be more to this.
For those who are curious, it appears that this is some sort of “Meet The Fockers” ripoff where the bride and groom’s conservative and liberal parents are forced to spend a weekend together. So let me get this straight… You had a choice to ripoff either Meet The Parents or Meet The Fockers…and you chose…………….Meet The Fockers? The shitty stupid slapped-together sequel?
I’m besides myself. I don’t even want to go on anymore. The fact that this sold is why your average Joe walking down the street thinks anybody can write a screenplay. This is their ammunition. I have nothing against Amiel and Begler personally. I congratulate them on their sale. But this should not have been sold. Without question it should not have garnered any monetary outcome unless it was for a fund to find, collect, and burn all the known copies of Wedding Banned around the world.
script link: Wedding Banned (Download if you feel like murdering yourself)
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned from Wedding Banned: You don’t have to break into somebody’s house to rob them.