IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!
As I combed through all of the comedy submissions, it became clear to me that three things would determine which scripts made the showdown. One, you had to have a funny marketable concept. Two, you had to be funny (your first page should’ve made me laugh). And three, you had to know how to write. Even a good concept and a funny writer can fall apart if the writer doesn’t know how to write a screenplay.
It also became clear to me that when you’re dealing with not-yet-professional writers, finding all three of these things in a single script would be hard. With that said, I have a feeling one of these scripts is going to be a standout. I not only read every logline submitted. I also read the first page of every entry. And, on that front, we have some really promising scripts.
If you haven’t played Amateur Showdown before, it’s easy. Read as much of each script as possible then vote for your favorite in the comments section. Voting ends 11:59 PM Pacific Time, this Sunday (June 20th). The script with the most votes will get a review next Friday.
By the way, a quick WHAT I LEARNED for all of you comedy writers. Be funny in your query. Don’t go over the top. But include one or two little jokes in your e-mail to let that manager/agent/producer know you’re funny. I went into scripts much more excited if the writer made me laugh in the e-mail. Here’s an example from one of the scripts that made today’s showdown – “Every once in a while, a movie comes along that changes the game. It makes people question the world and rethink their purpose in life. Well, this ain’t that kinda movie!”
Enough dilly-dallying! Time to start reading! Congratulations to all of you who made it. For those who didn’t, feel free to post your title and logline in the comments and if I have time, I’ll give you some quick feedback on why your script wasn’t chosen.
Good luck to everybody!
Title: God, I Need to Get Laid
Genre: Comedy
Logline: A priest renounces his calling and vows to lose his virginity, but being on the rebound from God makes it all-encompassingly difficult.
Why You Should Read: Instead of Carson’s recommendation to write Slutty Nun, this story is about a Slutty Priest. Even though, at times, it’s a raunchy sex comedy, the real core of the story is about moderation. And, while there are plenty of jokes made at the expense of religion (especially in its extreme form), it tries to show that religion in itself has plenty of good stuff to offer. Thanks for checking it out.
Title: Droid Rage
DROID RAGE SECOND LINK (IF FIRST LINK NOT WORKING)
Genre: Comedy
Logline: A failing android salesman and a train wreck of a computer repair woman are forced to run for their lives after they become the target of a relentless and charming top secret android killing machine. Think “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” meets “The Terminator” if Arnold was played by Ellie Kemper.
Why You Should Read: Every once in a while, a movie comes along that changes the game. It makes people question the world and rethink their purpose in life. Well, this ain’t that kinda movie! This is the one that people watch to help them forget about all of life’s heavy bullshit. And here’s the twist: all the comedy in this script comes from the characters and story. This isn’t just another throw a shitload of wacky ideas into a rock tumbler, and six weeks later, you have a polished script with a bunch of jokes and a premise flimsier than a Qanon Covid test. Also, the goals, stakes, and urgency are piled nice and thick to create a juicy GSU sandwich. Plus, you’ll fall SO head-over-heels in love with our main characters that you’ll end up wasting hours of your day online at Zales combing through their engagement rings. BTW, don’t buy diamonds….they’re worthless (you’re welcome!). Anyways, we hope you give this script a chance because we think it’s a real game changer. I know, I know, at the top of this, we said it wasn’t, but that’s another twist! There’s more freakin’ twists than a Simone Biles’ floor routine in just the “Why You Should Read” section: now, imagine what’s going on in the actual script?! More great news, you don’t have to; you can just read it for yourself. Is there anything this script can’t do? Of course there is, it’s just a script! Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: TWO IN THE PINK
Genre: Comedy
Logline: When an ultra-religious yet porn addicted teen discovers that keeping her virginity is the only way to stop Satan from taking over of the world, she has to team up with a celibate warrior monk to ward off the irresistible Incubus sent from Hell to seduce her.
Why You Should Read: If you don’t follow the worldwide box office, you may be oblivious to the fact that the two highest grossing movies of 2021 are both comedies, that in the middle of a global pandemic, have out-earned both Deadpool movies to become the highest grossing live-action comedies of all time. Now, I haven’t seen either of the Chinese made Hi, Mom or Detective Chinatown 3, but since they were both approved and oversaw by a communist dictatorship, I’m sure they’re fucking hilarious. Meanwhile, the last full year theaters over here were open, the highest grossing comedy the free world’s been able to produce was the Upside. Do any of you remember that hilarious comedy about a suicidal paraplegic? A movie so concerned with checking all the inclusion boxes, but was still able to piss everybody off because it cast Brian Cranston instead of an actual paraplegic. What kind of a world do we live in where the Chinese Communist Party seems to have a better sense of humor than Hollywood? I would try to get to the bottom of this, but the answer to that question would probably make me want to slit my fucking wrists. So instead, I will forgo the autopsy on American big screen comedy and proceed straight to the resurrection. That’s right, just think of Two in the Pink as your own personal screenplay Jesus, here to absolve you of all your comedy sins. The first ever faith-based-teen-sex-comedy for the “me too” era. A story so raunchy that it makes Porky’s look like Paw Patrol. Did anybody ask for this? No, but trust me, it’s just what the world needs right now. If Communist China wants to lead the world in everything else, so be it. But they can have comedy when they pry it from my cold, dead, medium-sized pecker. — I thank you for your consideration. God bless Script Shadow. God bless America. And Hail, Satan!
Title: Senior Prank
Genre: Comedy
Logline: On the last day of high school, two overlooked seniors execute a series of pranks to get their principal fired, while he does everything in his power to catch them and keep them from graduating.
Why You Should Read: It’s a throwback to all those 80’s comedies you know and love but updated for a 2021 audience. In a mash-up logline, it’s Ferris Bueller by way of The Fugitive. Or in a modern-take, it’s Booksmart meets Neighbors — a competition comedy that plays out like a boxing match, round for round with set pieces and surprises galore. All of which I wrote around two likable female leads — true underdogs facing off against their principal in a role that’s written for your favorite middle-aged comedy STAR. This isn’t just a script… this is a MOVIE. A movie I loved writing, and I think it shows. Above all other genres, I love comedies — but I also love action movies – so I wrote a comedy inspired by the structure of a fast-paced action movie – utilizing all that urgency and structuring pranks like set pieces. I also love the coming-of-age high school sub-genre – films that capture incredible characters in that unique time in their lives when they’re old enough to get themselves in a lot of trouble and afraid that everything in their lives is going to change. Senior Prank was a love letter to those movies, one that hopes to thrill and entertain you from page 1 until the very last line.
Title: Stars, Stripes & Swastikas
Genre: Comedy
Logline: A failed movie superhero returns to his crumbling hometown to find it infested with Nazis looking for a lost treasure. He must overcome his fears and failures to defeat the Nazis, recover the treasure and save the town.
Why You Should Read: In the early days of ScriptShadow, this script nearly received a Worth The Read on an Amateur Friday but I couldn’t quite nail down a couple of key sections. Recently, like a bolt from the blue, it became clear to me what I had done wrong all those years ago. And almost simultaneously, Carson announced his Comedy Contest. Obviously, the Gods of Screenwriting have big plans for me. So, after much rewriting, much more than the Gods implied, this beauty is ready for inspection. If you want to stay on the good side of the Screenwriting Gods, you should probably read this script.
