A dissection of a doomed movie concept
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Speaking of loglines, we here at Scriptshadow love ourselves a good concept discussion. “That idea is amazing!” “No, that idea sucks!” Concept development is really the heart of screenwriting. Because it solves so many problems when you’ve got a good one. Conversely, if you have a weak or bland movie idea, your entire script is an uphill battle as you attempt to make up for your problematic idea.
This process is complicated by the fact that there’s no universally accepted standard for what constitutes a good idea. The only real way to know is to field test it. The bigger the field, the more accurate the assessment is. But, even then, you’ll have people who think a good idea is a bad one. Every single project that’s been made into a movie in Hollywood had its detractors.
But that’s what makes talking about this stuff so fun! And, today, I want to talk about two movie ideas that fall on opposite ends of the good-bad spectrum.
So, over the weekend, I stumbled upon an article about that Jennifer Lawrence comedy, No Hard Feelings, which is one of the rare comedies that’s being released into theaters. In the article, they talk about how the movie came to be.
Jennifer Lawrence’s close friend is writer/director Gene Stupnitsky (Good Boys, Bad Teacher). Stupnitsky showed Lawrence the original Craig’s List ad that inspired the movie several years ago. Lawrence fell on the floor laughing when she heard it and thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. What kind of crazy family would actually hire a woman to de-virginize their son??
Stupnitsky, smart screenwriter that he is, secretly began writing the script as soon as he got that reaction. Then, two years later, he came to Lawrence and said, “Hey, remember that hilarious ad about the family that hires a woman to have sex with their son? I wrote a script about it!” Quite possibly the easiest way in existence to get a movie made: Not only know a movie star, but know EXACTLY the kind of movie they want to make. I do not begrudge Stupnitsky for doing this. It’s so hard to get any movie made and he was given a golden ticket.
Now, did Stupnitsky know this was a bad movie idea and write it anyway cause he knew he could get Lawrence and, therefore, get the movie made? Maybe he thought, like a lot of writers, that the idea had problems, but he could overcome them when writing the script. Because, the truth is, this is an awful movie idea, as it has a poison pill embedded in the bowels of its story. But before I explain what that pill is, let’s talk about another movie idea.
A year ago, I heard about this “Flamin Hot Cheetos” project which was ALSO being adapted from a real-life story. I was neutral on the announcement but they released the trailer last week and it looks pretty good. It’s got an underdog story of this janitor working at the Frito Lay plant and he comes up with this idea to make Cheetos taste even better by adding hot sauce.
The story is about him being thrust into the buttoned-up corporate world of which he’s highly unfamiliar, as he pushes his snack idea to the top ranks of Frito Lay. The movie seems to be marketing mostly to the Latino family crowd. But it certainly looks like a crowd pleaser.
So why do I bring these two projects up?
Because, as screenwriters, you have to understand why one concept works and another doesn’t. I get hired by writers all the time (e-mail me at carsonreeves1@gmail.com – logline consults for just $25!) who send me a couple of ideas and want to know which one they should write. When I do these consults, the answer is always easy. One logline is always a lot better than the other. But screenwriters have a tough time seeing this.
So why is Flaming Hot Cheetos a markedly better idea than No Hard Feelings? One of the most dependable templates in all of storytelling is the underdog template. If you can find a really great underdog story, especially one based on real events, write it. Cause Hollywood loves to make them and people love to watch them. This is why Flamin Hot Cheetos is a great bet.
Now let’s move over to No Hard Feelings. Even the title of this film is bad. What does that even mean? If you have a title, especially for a comedy, that doesn’t give the audience any indication whatsoever what the movie is about, you are in MAJOR trouble. To be fair, I understand why Lawrence and Stupnitsky thought this ad was funny. If someone had read this ad out loud to me, I probably would’ve laughed as well. It really is bizarre that a family actually put an ad out for this.
HOWEVER.
That doesn’t mean it’s a good movie idea!
The more you dig into No Hard Feelings, the more you realize how bad of an idea it actually is. What’s sympathetic about Jennifer Lawrence’s character? Why do we like her? Why would we want to root for her? Who’s rooting for a 30 year old woman to successfully take the virginity of a high school kid under the pretense of scoring some money so she can continue her loser narcissistic lifestyle? Anyone?
Stupnitsky and Lawrence not only raised their hands, they doubled down! In the trailer, we see Lawrence’s character deceive a freshly-axed boyfriend so she could bang some hot dude via a one night stand!! Sure. Let’s instantly come up with a way for the audience to hate the main character, and then we’ll send her off on this totally sketchy adventure. (I think I liked that scene in the script – I was clearly high on drugs at the time)
But hold up here, Carson. Just hold the heck up. What about The Graduate? Doesn’t that have the exact same situation in it? Mrs. Robinson seduces Benjamin Braddock. Yes, it does. Except for one critical difference. MRS. ROBINSON ISN’T THE MAIN CHARACTER. And The Graduate wouldn’t have been a good movie if she was.
Which is the clue that gives us the fix to this entire premise. Maybe, just maybe, the movie works if the KID in No Hard Feelings is the main character. If you built the movie around him and his inability to connect with people and his helicopter parents are terrified their son is never going to find anyone so they hire a woman to seduce him, there might be a movie there.
I could even see that being a midpoint twist. Nerdy guy meets older woman. They get together. Halfway through, the reveal comes – his parents hired her to have sex with him. Second half of the movie is, what happens between these two after the fallout?
So why didn’t they do that? I’m about to tell you a dirty little secret about Hollywood so get ready to take a shower afterwards: Cause then Lawrence doesn’t sign on. If Lawrence is just some secondary character, she doesn’t sign onto the movie. This is what I hate most about Hollywood. The system is designed, at least in situations like this, to make the worst version of the movie.
Now there’s actually a little more nuance to this story because keep in mind who’s writing No Hard Feelings. Gene Stupnitsky. What is Stupnitsky known for? He’s known for writing a female teacher who’s a total b—h. He’s known for writing about a group of middle schoolers who run around swearing at everyone. It looks like Stupnitsky believed that, because he’s been able to get away with writing “unlikable” characters before, he could do it again.
But he’s miscalculated this time. Unlike those scripts, which have a singular problematic element, this script has TWO of them. The main character is unlikable AND the adventure itself is unlikable. We don’t like that Lawrence’s character is in this situation. We don’t want her to succeed. What’s left to like? What’s left to root for?
Maybe if you made her the world’s sweetest person and she’s forced into this instead of chooses it, there’s a fraction of a chance we would root for her. But even then I’d be unconvinced. Years after the movie, Flashdance, was released, producer Lynda Obst was asked about the 30+ different drafts that were written of the script before it got made. She said, in retrospect, that it was one of those movies, with its cleverly ironic main character, that was always going to work no matter what. Every draft would’ve worked. No Hard Feelings is the opposite. I don’t think there’s any way the premise could’ve been saved.
Before I check out today, I want EVERYONE from this site to read the TJ Newman article over at Deadline. Newman is the writer of the two airplane novels that netted her a total of 3 million dollars from Hollywood. She wrote a guest article explaining how it took her 20 years (TWENTY YEARS!) to sell both of those novels. She was rejected 40 times. It’s an inspiring and insightful look into the persistence and perseverance required to be a successful writer. Never let that flame extinguish!
