There are 24 hours left to get those holiday scripts in for Holiday Showdown! Hurry hurry hurry. Any holiday themed script – send it to carsonreeves3@gmail.com with your title, genre, logline, why you think it deserves a shot, and a pdf of the script. The five holiday contestants will be posted tomorrow night!
I was thinking back through some of the screenwriting lessons I learned over the years and keyed on a few that blew my mind. You know, those lessons where all of a sudden a major part of the screenwriting matrix became clear to you? Outside of writing a great scene or coming up with a kick-butt plot twist, stumbling across that game-changing screenwriting tip is the best feeling ever.
A common problem a lot of newbie screenwriters have is they only know what their hero wants. They don’t know what the love interest wants. What the comedic relief wants. What the boss wants. What the trusty assistant wants. What the best friend wants. What the daughter wants. What the dad wants. Or what anybody in any scene in the movie wants other than the hero.
When you write from this place, your script feels thin. The conversations your hero has are thin. If people don’t want anything, if they are only there to serve the machinations of your plot, like automatons waiting for instructions, your script will never rise above average.
Now you’ve heard me say that you should know as much about every character as possible. And I continue to encourage that. The more you know, the more life is breathed into every scene those characters are in. But, realistically, you can’t know everything about everyone. Well, I guess you could. But it would take a long time. And if a character is only in your script for three scenes, it might not be worth it to spend five weeks writing out their life story.
So let’s talk about an alternative to this. For purposes of reference, I’m going to call it the NOW and THEN approach. For every character in your script who has more than one scene, give them a goal for each scene they’re in (the “NOW”) and give then an overall goal for their life (the “THEN”). Let’s see how this helps improve your script.
Let’s say your hero, JAKE, gets a hot dog every day for lunch at a hot dog stand in front of his work. Whenever he’s getting a Chicago style dog from the hot dog guy, STAN, they chat. Now let’s say you don’t know anything about Stan. He’s the hot dog guy, you argue. He’s lucky I even gave him a name. Your dialogue might look something like this…
“How’s work today?” Jake asks. “Busy busy,” Stan says. “It’s tourist season so I’m making a lot of dough.” “Nice,” Jake says. “What about you?” Stan asks. “Can’t complain. Although I’m probably going to need a doctor’s check-up soon after sucking down all these dogs.” Haha. They both laugh together.
Granted I didn’t try very hard here. But it’s clear that the dialogue exists on a simplistic plane because you don’t have any complex information about the other character in the scene. So let’s see what happens when we apply the NOW and THEN approach. Stan’s “THEN” is going to be that he’s saving money to open a restaurant. He puts a little bit of his profits away each day and, if all goes all, he plans to open the restaurant in five years. Stan’s “NOW” is that he needs to call his wife to tell her to pick up their son today but he can’t find his phone. With these new details, let’s see how the scene changes.
Jake greedily accepts his hot dog. “Getting any closer to that restaurant?” Jake says. “It’d be nice if I didn’t have to stand up to eat these things all the time.” Stan disappears under the stand. He seems to be looking for something. Jake peers over. “You okay?” “I’m fine, I just… I lost my phone. It was here a second ago.” He’s flipping over boxes, checking his pockets. “I have to call my wife.” “You want to use my phone?” Jake says. “Yes! Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” Jake hands over his phone. Stan takes it, starts to dial, but freezes. “I don’t… I don’t know her number. I don’t know what my own wife’s phone number is.” “Yeah, you might not want to tell her that.” At that moment Stan’s eyes key on his boiling hot dogs. He grabs some tongs, fishes them into the water and pulls out… his cell phone. Both Jake and Stan stare at each other.
Yeah yeah, I know. Silly scene. But you have to admit that it was more interesting than the first exchange. And the reason it was more interesting was because I had more information to go on. I knew more about Stan. In scene 1, he’s a nothing. In scene 2, he’s got a life going on. And all I needed in order to find that life was two things – his NOW and his THEN.
I already know what some of you are thinking. Aren’t peripheral characters peripheral for a reason? If they become too vocal, too chatty, they may overshadow your hero. In some scenes, Carson, you want the other character to be invisible. Of course. All of this is on a case by case basis where you vary the degree to which the other character interacts.
If Jake comes into this scene after losing a major client at work, I’m dialing down Stan’s participation to make the scene more about Jake. I still know what Stan’s life goal is. I still know he needs to call his wife soon. But maybe I ditch the lost phone stuff. Instead I have him generally distracted by the fact that his wife isn’t going to like it when he asks her to pick up their son. “You alright?” Stan says. “It’s nothing. Can’t pick up the kid today is all.” And that’s the extent of their exchange. Or, in some cases, I may not have Sam mention his problem at all. I let it come through via his mood or the subtext of his actions.
The point is, when you figure out the NOW and THEN of a character, you have more ammo for your scene gun. And let’s keep in mind, we never figured out who Jake was in this movie. If I knew his situation, the conversation would be even more specific. That’s where you tend to find your best dialogue – when you know exactly what the characters in the scene want.
I implore you to try this out in your current script. I GUARANTEE YOU your scenes will get better.
