Man, I didn’t know there was this whole hidden action writing community within Scriptshadow. Saw a lot of new faces in the submissions. First of all, thanks to everyone who sent in a submission. Picking loglines was difficult. If you didn’t make it, there’s no reason why a souped-up version can’t make another Amateur Showdown down the line.
A quick note on loglines. This is where a lot of submissions lost out. When you’re uncomfortable writing a logline, it shows. I can feel you searching for how to present your story. So make sure you’re getting feedback on these things. As much as you may hate it, it’s a necessary evil. What happens is that the people who stick around the longest in screenwriting figure loglines out because they have to. So by the very nature of learning how to write a good logline, you are displaying that you’ve dedicated yourself to the craft.
Do not forget we have HOLIDAY SHOWDOWN coming up on Friday, December 13th. If you have a holiday-themed script, send it in by the deadline, which is Thursday, December 12th, at 8:00 pm Pacific Time (I’ve given you two extra hours – use them!). It’d be great if we could celebrate an awesome script before the new year. So stop dwelling on not making Action Showdown and get to writing.
Amateur Showdown is a bi-weekly tournament where I pick five screenplays that were submitted to me and then you, the readers of this site, read as much of each script as possible and vote for your favorite in the comments section. The winner will receive a review the following Friday that could result in props from your peers, representation, a spot on one of the big end-of-the-year screenwriting lists, and in rare cases, a SALE!
In order to participate, e-mail me at carsonreeves3@gmail.com. Include your script title, the genre, a logline, and a pitch to myself and potential readers why you believe your script deserves a shot. It could be long, short, passionate, to-the-point. Whatever you think will convince someone your script is worth opening, make your case. Just like Hollywood, the Scriptshadow readers are a fickle bunch. So be convincing!
Good luck to all the writers this week!
Title: Berserker
Genre: Action
Logline: A ruthless bounty hunter, chasing a million-dollar reward, has one night to capture a vicious terror cell before they can exact their mission of vengeance and escape Jakarta.
Why You Should Read: Intelligence agencies have spent hundreds of millions of dollars on terrorist bounties since 9/11. Insider sources suggest vital information in the hunt for Osama Bin Laden was gained after a senior figure in the Pakistani military received a $25 million reward. Despite this, few movies have examined the crooked underworld of terrorist bounties or the men and women who make their living tracking down the earth’s deadliest militants for cash pay-outs. Berserker is a screenplay embedded in this covert mercenary war but it’s also a relentless no-holds-barred action script playing out across a single bloody night. It comes complete with ambushes, raids, knife fights, shootouts and car chases through the neon-lit streets of Central Jakarta! I think the set-pieces are innovative, the tension is constant and the pace is bullet-fast. At 92 cut-down pages it never stops moving.
Title: HEMORRHAGE
Genre: ACTION
Logline: A disaffected NYPD cop visiting her daughter in a state-of-the-art hospital is unwittingly caught in a hostage situation when extremists raid the building seeking the cure of a deadly virus.
Why You Should Read: I got my start writing for B-Movie King Roger Corman, which basically means your creative flexibility gets completely strapped by ultra-low budget constraints. I wrote “Hemorrhage” to break free of such restrictions and focus on telling a story about a hard-pressed mother struggling to mend old wounds between her sick daughter, albeit with armed extremists threatening to rip apart what little bond they have left. I love the thrill of a good action movie, especially ones with compelling antagonists whose motives aren’t simply black or white and make us truly fear for the principal characters’ lives. If you get a kick out of the same thing, then you’ll have a blast reading “Hemorrhage.”
Title: JOHNSTOWN
Genre: Action/Based on true events
Logline: An engineer, hired to inspect a dam owned by Andrew Carnegie’s secret fishing club, falls in love with an aristocrat’s daughter. During a storm, when the dam he’s trying to save fails, he must outrace the floodwaters to JOHNSTOWN to save her.
Why You Should Read: I don’t think the world spent two billion dollars for the Jack and Rose love story, meaning the draw for this story is the flood itself. This is the story of one of the worst disasters to ever befall the United States. There have been numerous documentaries, but not really a feature film. As we all know, it’s a feature film which gives a story both reach and emotional impact. I was born and raised in Johnstown. This story is part of my DNA. There are details in this script you won’t find in any book.
Title: Kamikaze
Genre: Action
Logline: After her creator is killed in a terrorist attack, an emotionally charged android, suffering from a fatal virus, struggles to hunt down the mercenaries responsible.
Why You Should Read: Kamikaze is a non-stop, can’t catch your breath action script. It’s placed very well in screenwriting competitions (finalist), it nabbed me a manager (we’ve since parted), but the script hasn’t gotten much traction. I’m really wanting to know if there’s something I’m missing, and if I genuinely have what it takes to make it. — The main character, Ali, in an android that can’t seem to keep her emotions in check, which is a major drawback to those that created her. The script plays with the concept of logic vs. emotion and how they can help/hinder in various situations. — Thank you for the opportunity to give it a read.
Title: The Third Wonder
Genre: Action
Logline: An art recovery specialist is sent to Iraq on the eve of Shock and Awe to determine if a missing drone’s last transmission proves the existence of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
Why You Should Read: I suppose the best way to answer this question is to first explain why I wrote it and what makes me believe that a year+ of my life is worth only the prospect of an hour+ of yours. Well… since a kid, I’ve always been fascinated with the Seven Wonders of the World, in particular, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon (meh, true and kinda nostalgic, but who really cares what I was into as a kid). With fact-based fiction as a guide, and since Babylon is only 60 miles from Baghdad, it seems logical that if the Gardens were ever to resurface it would’ve happened during the exhaustive search for WMD leading up to the Iraqi invasion (yep, tough to argue, but a 118 pages of this). The main character’s questionable moral compass and haunting family legacy make him better at his job, but will it cost him a chance at redemption? (intentionally vague—okay, but an art guy as the protag in an action flick?). A socially conscious look at the ownership of art and how it corresponds to a country’s cultural identity (it’s there, but seriously??). The sweeping geographical locations and the recreation of the only lost wonder of the world will be a feast for the eyes (yep, this will cost a fortune to make). With seven wonders come seven storylines (one down, six to go:).
Sometimes I’ll read an AO script because I like the logline, sometimes I’ll read one because of the genre, sometimes I’ll read one just to get an idea of what the competition is up to, but I always fall back on this one fundamentally basic reason—reading makes you a better writer.
