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Genre: Biopic
Premise (from writer): Non-believers saw her as a heroic warrior crusading to enforce the separation of church and state, but to the believers she delighted in tormenting, she was the devil incarnate. This is the true story of the irreverent, at times poignant, and always controversial Madalyn Murray O’Hair.
Why You Should Read (from writer): I’m the writer of ScriptShadow’s #2 winner Pâtisserie, and after watching Trumbo recently, the acclaimed biopic on the Communist screenwriter starring former TV star Bryan Cranston, I dusted off this screenplay I wrote before Pâtisserie that can’t seem to get any traction. Is it the subject matter? The timing? The writing? The jackboot of religion keeping it down? :) I wrote Not a Prayer with another TV star, Roseanne Barr, in mind believing she’s due for a resurgence as a dramatic actress. She even expressed an interest, but nothing has come of it…so far.
Writer: Michael Whatling
Details: 117 pages
I’m going to be totally honest here. We’ve got a biopic. The featured subject matter is atheism. That is not the way I want to spend my Thursday night. And that might be my answer to Whatling’s Why You Should Read question right there. This is subject matter you force yourself to read. It’s not subject matter you get excited over. It’s like that film that just debuted at Sundance about that newswoman who committed suicide on the air. It was too dark and dreary for everyone.
The only thing that saves a script like this is if it’s great. I will pray for that (sorry, I had to). Because before opening a page here, this sounded like it could be a first class trip to Boredom Town.
Not a Prayer’s structure is a bit odd. We start out in 1995 watching a group of people hanging out at someone’s home (Madalyn’s?) discussing the possibility of getting some money. One of these people is an older Madalyn Murray O’Hair, who her caretaker, Robin, tells us, used to be the most hated woman in America.
We then cut back to Baltimore, 1960, when Madalyn was 41 years old. Madalyn finds out that her 14 year-old son, Bill, has to pledge his allegiance to God every morning at school, and freaks the hell out. How dare anyone make her son pray to God. The Constitution separates church and state and yet here the schools are, mixing them up together like some evangelical stew.
So she complains. And the school tells her to get lost. And then she complains louder. And soon the whole country learns about her crusade, and since in 1960, the U.S. was a lot more religious (except for Johnny Carson apparently), everyone spews their hatred at Madalyn and tells her she’s the devil.
This may have scared away most folks. Not Madalyn. Madalyn takes her message to the churches and the talk show circuit, appearing on The Tonight Show, and at any church show she can find. For some reason, religious types keep letting her on, mostly so they can call her the devil.
As the script continues, we jump back and forth to many time periods in Madalyn’s life, including the present, where that mysterious “hang out at Madalyn’s house” storyline patters along. It’s a strange part of the story, as we watch two people we don’t know, a man and a woman, move from room to room flirting a lot. I didn’t know what to make of it.
Eventually (spoiler alert), we realize that that present day (1995) storyline is chronicling a murder plot. It turns out that people wanted to steal Madalyn’s money, so they came to her place, killed her and her caretaker, and then stole a bunch of gold. It’s quite the fancy ending for a script that’s, essentially, a cradle-to-grave biopic.
You’ll have to excuse the vagaries of my plot synopsis. To be honest, my eyes were glazing over by the midpoint.
What I’ve found with these “disrupter” character movies, is that one of two things need to happen. One, we need to root for what they’re doing. Or two, if we’re not rooting for what they’re doing, we need to UNDERSTAND why they’re doing it. If we can see their position, we can appreciate and respect their plight.
I definitely wasn’t rooting for Madalyn in any way. First of all, she’s a bitch. She seems like one of those “shit-stirrer for no reason” people. And she was illogical. The level of hardship brought onto her family by this choice was disproportionate to what she was getting out of it. I mean if you don’t believe in God, just don’t say anything during the morning pledge. Who cares?
And as far as why she was doing this, I could never figure that out. What was it that made her this way? Especially since we were jumping back in time so much, why not include the moment that shaped Madalyn’s views on religion? Since that moment never came, Madalyn was always stick-thin to me. Someone who complains to complain. That’s not a compelling character.
Is there something here? Can this script be salvaged? I don’t think so. But if I were a studio executive assigned to help the script, this is how I’d go about it. Reshape the present-day storyline. I didn’t know what the hell was going on there. We follow two randos flirting for 2 hours and then OUT OF NOWHERE Madalyn gets murdered??? Why not start with the murder scene, which was supposedly brutal. Let’s see that Madalyn was murdered and now, instead of a traditional cradle-to-crave biopic, you have a bit of a murder-mystery. We’re trying to find out why Madalyn was killed and who killed her.
Then, you definitely need to explain why Madalyn has become the way she is. Who cares if she became friends with Larry Flynt? That’s the kind of stuff biopic writers get lost in. It’s all flash, no substance. You need to be exploring the core of your subject, and figuring out what made them the person they are.
Finally, I would find AT LEAST ONE sympathetic feature of this woman. Being a bitch to be a bitch. Yelling at everyone. Swearing all the time. “I’m right, you’re wrong.” There’s no sympathy for these things. This is an entire life you’re talking about. I’m sure Madalyn had a few nice qualities. Find the nicest, play it up, and now you have an audience who’s going to root for her a little bit.
This one wasn’t for me. The subject alienated me too much. I wish Michael the best though. I continue to think he’s a good writer. ☺
Screenplay Link: Not a Prayer
[ ] what the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: When telling anyone about your script, I’m a strong believer that you DO NOT LET ON that it’s older. Don’t say any version of, “I wrote this before Blah Blah” or “I wrote this a long time ago.” And for God’s sake, do not mention “dusting” a script off. No dust in script mentioning, people. Hollywood has a huge aversion to “old.” All they want is the next new thing. So if you wrote your script a long time ago, that’s fine, but I’m giving you permission to lie. Promote it as brand new. You’ll get much more excited responses, I guarantee it.
