That most merry of times is finally here. I asked for your holiday scripts and YOU DELIVERED. While there weren’t as many entries as the Halloween Amateur Offerings, there were a lot more than I thought there’d be. Hell, I even received a script from a reindeer (no seriously, a reindeer submitted an autobiographical screenplay). This means, unfortunately, Ebereeveser Scrooge cannot post them all. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It doesn’t mean you aren’t in my Christmas dreams. Only that your holiday script must live to fight another Christmas. Hey, what did our parents used to tell us whenever we asked for that expensive present? “You don’t always get what you want.”
Not to worry, though! For those who didn’t make it, I have good news. One of the first contests of the new year will be the “First Ten Pages Challenge.” I was reading a script the other day and I realized something. Too many screenwriters take script pages for granted. They think that as long as there’s an approximation of a story moving forward, the reader “owes” it to them to keep reading until they get to “the good part.” That’s not how the real world works, homie. In the real screenwriting world, you have to write a script that if you were to rip that script away from the reader as they were reading it, they would become furious and demand the script back. I don’t think writers write like that. They write like, “Ohh, I’ll have my cool little plot point on page 20 and in the meantime I’ll do a slow burn and set things up…” The Ten Page Challenge is designed to make you write a first 10 pages SO GOOD, that the reader would get physical if you tried to stop them from reading. So get started. I’ll have more on this once the new year starts.
For those who don’t know how Amateur Offerings works, it’s as simple as hanging a stocking. All you have to do is read as much of the 5 screenplays below as possible and vote for your favorite in the comments section. Voting closes on Sunday night, 11:59pm Pacific Time. Winner gets a review next Friday. — If you’d like to submit your own script to compete in Amateur Offerings, send a PDF of your script to carsonreeves3@gmail.com with the title, genre, logline, and why you think your script should get a shot.
P.S. Review of Spiderverse on Monday. Go see it so you can participate in the discussion!
Title: TAKING XMAS
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Logline: After bluffing her way into a repo job, a single girl must repossess the prized roadster of the town’s most eligible and dysfunctional bachelor before Christmas.
Why You Should Read: Since 2013, the Hallmark Channel has tripled the amount of original Christmas movies they produce each year (12 to 36). Couple this with the runaway success of “The Christmas Chronicles” on Netflix (20 million views opening week) and it’s clear there’s a family friendly holiday-themed path to breaking into the industry. Even one of our very own from Scriptshadow is a co-producer on “I’ll be Next Door for Christmas”, which is kicking butt on Amazon Prime as I type! It’s my Christmas wish to have the SS faithful help me and my co-writer thread this proverbial marketing needle with their insights. Thanks so much for taking any time you can spare during the busy holiday season to check out our script!
Title: SECRET SANTRESS
Genre: Comedy
Logline: The wife of a cop fears some conspiracy is brewing around the department’s “Secret Santa” gift exchange when her husband’s name is pulled by all his female co-workers.
Why You Should Read: It’s “Girls Gone Wild” meets “Murder She Wrote” meets every sappy Christmas movie you ever saw. In the spirit of Christmas we present this unabashedly irreverent and pull at the heartstrings swipe at all that embodies Christmas tradition, gift giving and grief. We’ve aimed for that vision of Christmas morning after the gifts have all be unwrapped. Just kick the trash under the tree and have another spiked eggnog. Hope you enjoy!
Title: NORTHERN LIGHTS
Genre: Science Fiction
Logline: When aliens attack a small town on Christmas Eve, a conservative yet strained family is forced to fight for their survival while also dealing with their different beliefs — or lack thereof — head on.
Why You Should Read: “INDEPENDENCE DAY” at Christmas time is the quick pitch… but beyond that, the heart of the story is inspired from my own childhood growing up in a conservative home that absolutely refused to accept the idea that aliens could be real as it would completely negate the “Nativity” message, yet the idea of believing in Santa Claus was joyfully encouraged. (An irony that I definitely didn’t understand as a child.) I wanted to create a potential family friendly holiday blockbuster that tackles how the “greatest time of the year” brings both discussions and family problems to the forefront, all while being backdrop to a simple story of a family trying to survive an alien invasion.
Title: Christmas Academy
Genre: Holiday Comedy
Logline: When Santa Claus’ protégé is killed in an avalanche, the next relative in line, a New York cop with no holiday spirit, is taken to the North Pole for his training until he must save Christmas from the grinch-like Krampus.
Why You Should Read: Apart from this script placing in the finals of both the Fresh Voices and Studio 32 screenplay competitions. It is a fresh new take, from two hungry writers, into the mythology of how to become the father of Christmas. It’s nostalgic, comedic and downright magical.
Title: Droid Rage
Genre: Holiday Action Comedy
Logline: A mild mannered android salesman is forced to team up with his trainwreck of a sister-in-law after they become the target of a top secret android killing machine.
Why You Should Read: Planes, Trains and Automobiles meets The Terminator, that’s what we’re dealing with here. Droid Rage has got it all, big set pieces, quirky characters, Santa, and a pregnant android killing machine. And the beauty is that it’s all wrapped up in an elegantly crafted three act structure. We’ve got big ass goals, huge stakes and shitload of urgency. Some people say Hollywood comedies are dead and those people can go suck a big long candy cane cause once Droid Rage hits the scene the only thing Hollywood will want to make are holiday themed action comedies. Here are some quotes from people that have read it, “twice as good as the bible” “you’ll never look at pregnant women the same again” “I shit my pants, but it had nothing to do with your script. I think it was from something I ate at Zankou Chicken.” Move over Die Hard cause there’s a new Christmas classic in town, and thy name be Droid Rage. So if you want to make $10,000 a month only working part time, if you want to meet that special someone, or if you’re just waiting for speed weed to drop off your dope and you’ve got an hour to kill this the script for you. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, The motherfuckers that wrote Droid Rage.
