As I was finishing up my article on Cobra Kai yesterday, something occurred to me. This is the second hit in the last month that built its story around the villain (Infinity War was the first). In the past, this kind of storytelling was relegated to dark indie dramas and Westerns, and even then, the characters were more antiheroes than villains. But Cobra Kai and Infinity War prove that villain-protags can be used in populist entertainment as well. I’m still mulling this over so don’t go writing your serial killer superhero screenplay just yet. But it’s definitely an interesting topic for discussion.
We’ve got a really eclectic group of scripts this weekend. We’ve got mermaids. Shades of The Running Man. And apparently cars are hot in Hollywood as we have TWO concepts built around them. As you guys know, the rules to Amateur Offerings are simple. Read as much as you can from each script and vote for your favorite in the comments. The script with the most votes gets a read next week!
And if you believe you have a screenplay that’s better than anything sucker Hollywood is making, submit it for a future Amateur Offerings! Send me a PDF of your script, along with the title, genre, logline, and why you think people should read it (your chance to pitch yourself or your story). All submissions should be sent to Carsonreeves3@gmail.com.
Title: Most Dangerous
Genre: TV Pilot (Drama)
Logline: In a dystopian future where death comes early for most, the hyper-violent game of Bullseye keeps the downtrodden masses pacified. The stars of the game trade a shortened life expectancy for luxury and carnal pleasure. But when Bullseye’s most famous star tries to retire, it’s the seed of resistance that ultimately leads to a revolution led my the men and women who play the most dangerous of games.
Why You Should Read: This script originally started as a feature spurred on by an article you wrote about mining public domain IP for ideas. I was going to write an adaptation based on the famous short “The Most Dangerous Game”. Set in a dystopian future, in my story the island is used as a place to hunt famous athletes who dare to leave a violent sport called ‘Bullseye’. Then something happened. After the 1st act, I didn’t want to go to the island for the rest of the story. Rather, I wanted to continue to explore the characters and world I had created.
So I hit on another Carson mantra, always have at least one pilot in your arsenal. While I have written 9 features, this is my first pilot. And I discovered that I enjoyed this format much more than I ever anticipated. One last thing – I’ve been writing for a good fifteen years now. Writing screenplays is much like climbing Mount Everest. You actually have to go backwards a few times before you get to the top, and there’s no guarantee you’ll ever get there. Most writers fall into a crevasse and are never heard from again. I’m hoping this script is my rope bridge to the summit. I’d appreciate anything the SS community has to say.
Title: BLOOD HARVEST – Based on Hamlin Garland’s short story “Under the Lion’s Paw”
Genre: Western
Logline: A humble family, driven away from their home by locusts, is persuaded to settle on a vacated farm by an older couple whose extreme generosity hides something malicious.
Why You Should Read: There’s been a lot of talk on the site about slow-burn vs boring scripts, and more specifically in regards to westerns. Like someone said, slow-burn still means that there’s a fire, and we may not see it, but we can smell the smoke. That’s exactly what my intentions were with this script, a situation that escalates until it blows up. An unlucky family taken advantage of by greedy men. A father willing to do anything to defend his loved ones. A conflict where the law doesn’t seem to be synonymous with justice. If these themes seem to resonate with you, then you should give my 93-page script a shot. And for anyone who does, a million thanks in advance.
Title: The Traitor Who Loved a Mermaid
Genre: Spy Thriller
Logline: A naval intelligence officer falls in love with a co-worker only to discover that she’s an embedded spy from the secretive world of mermaids, and he’s unwittingly become a traitor.
Why You Should Read: There hasn’t been a good American movie about Mermaids in far too long; 34 years by my count. They’re such mesmerizing creatures. They’re exotic, dangerous, and romantic — and deserve a grand adventure on the big screen. Since summer is here, I thought it might be fun to offer up a big summer movie idea that is meant to be the ultimate date movie. It’s got all of the action and pyrotechnics adventure seekers adore, and the grand old romance that movies have been missing lately.
Title: Hang On
Genre: First half, engaging Drama. Second half, gooch-clenched Thriller.
Logline: During an interstate move, an anxiety-stricken mother and her family find themselves in a desperate struggle for survival after their SUV plummets from a mountain road, leaving everyone trapped in the wreckage at the bottom of an isolated ravine.
Why You Should Read: I guarantee you’ll be entertained. I guarantee not to waste your time. There’s a transient hobo-creeper with a MAGA cap that’s an unpredictable threat. I guarantee goals, stakes, and insane urgency. I guarantee a strong female lead. I guarantee a white-knucklin’ nailbiter. I guarantee fewer than 10 adverbs. I guarantee <5 typos. I guarantee Jennifer Lawrence is perfect for the lead. I guarantee Jason Bateman is perfect for her hubby. And I guarantee I need help for dream-casting their genius 12-year-old son character. So, why should you read? Cause this is a clautrophobic, anxiety-laden, semi-contained thrill ride. AND! I will guarantee you won't be disappointed. If you are, then I was wrong, and I will field the gripes. Here's my phone number to voice complaints: 323-555-5555. I will also send nods, shakes, waffles, and roses to the troubled. (PS: Anyone have a contact with A24?)
About Me: Currently a cop supplementing a shitty cop-income with cop-related screenwriting gigs. I quit the pre-med program my freshman year in college to become a cop because of Lethal Weapon and Training Day. It was way cooler on screen, but now I’m 16 years in and “making a difference.” I’m married to a wife who’s riddled with anxiety but madly supportive of my screenwriting pipedream, who birthed a stupid-smart kid named Maverick that weighed two pounds at birth, along with two German Shepherds that speak English, but shouldn’t. If this were Twitter: #Blessed. I love them all.
Title: The Car
Genre: Supernatural Horror
Logline: A young mechanic buys a 69 Chevy Nova haunted by the vengeful spirit of a teenage girl who was murdered in the back seat and together they avenge her murderers one by one. A supernatural horror set in Detroit in the vein of It Follows and Let The Right One In that explores guilt and redemption.
Why You Should Read: This is a script I wrote a good number of years ago but I’ve now rewritten it a good bit having learnt more about the craft of screenwriting (I think!). With 50% of the movie being set in the car I believe it’s contained enough to be made well on a low-budget I am a director too and would plan to direct this film and want to make sure it’s developed well enough. I’d be grateful of any feedback if selected.
