I’m thinking of trying something new. A ten-day set of Scriptshadow Posts like no other. Basically, I’m going to break down AN ENTIRE SCREENPLAY, ten pages at a time. If you want your screenplay to get this super-breakdown treatment, submit it to carsonreeves3@gmail.com with the subject line: SUPER BREAKDOWN. Submit it just like you would any Amateur Offering, with title, genre, why I should read, and be sure to include a PDF.
Keep in mind EVERY SINGLE PAGE of your script will be posted. And I will be BRUTALLY HONEST in assessing the script. I won’t be mean. But the idea behind these posts will be to get a play-by-play “in the moment” breakdown of a script through the reader’s eyes. What I’m thinking. Why I’m thinking it. And as anyone who’s read a script knows, sometimes you get angry when you read something. I want to be able to cover that anger and why it’s happening, in the hopes that writers everywhere understand how a reader interprets things. If you don’t think you can handle feedback that intense, DON’T SUBMIT YOUR SCRIPT.
Now, on to today’s offerings: Read as much of each script as you can and submit a vote for your favorite script in the comments section. Votes will be counted through NEXT SUNDAY (Nov. 26th), 11:59pm Pacific Time. Winner gets a script review the following Friday!
Title: Blackbirds
Genre: Historical Drama
Logline: Inspired by true events. Australia, 1870. When a young Indigenous male is taken into slavery as a pearl diver he must learn what it means to be a leader if he’s going to escape from captivity with his life.
Why You Should Read: This script was written as a passion project by me and a friend as a means of shining a light on a piece of Australian history that is NEVER discussed. I was 27 when I first heard about the mass enslavement of Indigenous Australians and even then couldn’t believe that it was true. In America, slavery is at least accepted as fact. In Australia very few know about it, or to the degree by which it took place. — We plan on eventually having it made in Australia, with help from the Indigenous film making community. I just believe that this is a story that needs to be told – in Australia at least. But, as script and story is king, I wanted to get some feedback on the story before we began shopping it around.
Title: SICK DAY
Genre: Action/Thriller
Logline: An out of work ex-soldier interviews for a private sector job, but the fired Security Chief she’s hoping to replace shuts down the building to exact revenge and now it’s up to her to save the hostages.
Why You Should Read: The spec market’s overstuffed with Jane Wick specs, it’s time for Jane McClane to get her shot. In his recent article, “How to Jump Start the Spec Market”, Carson claims that a fresh spin on real world action can fire up Hollywood and I believe a contained female driven take on the original Die Hard hits that bullseye.
Title: Powder Keg Pines
Genre: Thriller
Logline: A small town disc jockey recalls the night a group of crazed animal rights activists botched a ransom deal after realizing their leader may have been involved with the poacher that they were holding captive.
Why You Should Read: I’m sure my introduction and logline are raising all sorts of red flags, but take heart my good man. Readers seem to like it. Scriptapalooza gave it a consider, even though they said it was too talky and weird. As well as an analyst at Screencraft. Both reviews were glowing, but both emphasized how niche it was, which wasn’t as much of a good thing as it was a bad thing. They were kind of like “I like it, but no.” Think about that for a minute; “I. Like. It. But. No.” Why “like” followed by “no.?” I guess I can’t blame them, but it is an actor’s dream, and, as a filmmaker, a crew member’s dream too. What more can you ask for?
Title: Roger
Genre: Comedy
Logline: A pretentious magician skips town after failing miserably on a tv talent show. He returns two years later to discover his best friend has replaced him with a ventriloquist dummy and the only way to get a second chance on the show is to accompany his friend and dummy on a cabaret tour.
Why You Should Read: Roger has been a three year journey so far. The project started off as a sitcom pilot before we decided it would work better as a feature. After writing a few drafts of the feature, we wrote and produced a short film based on it, starring John Bradley (Game of Thrones) and Seann Walsh (British TV Comedian). The short film has done very well on the festival circuit appearing in twenty five festivals, many of them BAFTA and Academy affiliated, gaining awards and nominations on the way. The short will be used as a proof of concept film to help us on the long journey on getting the feature made. The feature script has come along leaps and bounds since its first conception and we feel it is finally in a position to show people. That’s where you and the great script shadow community come in. We would really love to hear your thoughts on the script. Any amount of time you can spend reading the script, even if it is only a few pages, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Stuart & Brendan.
And…
For Our Final…
Surprise…
FIFTH SCRIPT…………..
Title: The Commune
Genre: Dark Sci-fi/horror
Logline: Guards at a secret U.S. Army base face threats from aliens, demonic forces, and a general who might detonate an on-site nuke to cover-up a project that’s spiraling out of control after 1 of 5, cloned aliens escape.
Why Carson should read this script: It’s “Alien” (Ridley Scott) meets “Aliens” (James Cameron) in a contemporary Earth setting with a dark, supernatural twist. There is a government conspiracy involved, and complex characters who change as their true motivations get exposed. Want monsters? Want cool, gun shootouts? This script has them. — Original idea for this story was a product of me hazing my mom for listening to Art Bell’s Coast to Coast, late night radio talk show where they discuss the paranormal: aliens, spooks and goblins. — “God: Part II” by U2 (Rattle and Hum album, 1988) encapsulates the final battle between protagonist and antagonist in Act III.
