UPDATE: Calling all female screenwriters – we want YOU to submit your best work for an upcoming Amateur Offerings Weekend that will showcase scripts written exclusively by women! Send a PDF of your script along with the title, genre, logline, and a ‘why you should read’ section in an email to carsonreeves3@gmail.com ASAP! :)
This is your chance to discuss the week’s amateur scripts, offered originally in the Scriptshadow newsletter. The primary goal for this discussion is to find out which script(s) is the best candidate for a future Amateur Friday review. The secondary goal is to keep things positive in the comments with constructive criticism.
Below are the scripts up for review, along with the download links. Want to receive the scripts early? Head over to the Contact page, e-mail us, and “Opt In” to the newsletter.
Happy reading!
TITLE: Gravity Kills
GENRE: Sci-fi thriller
LOGLINE: A man awakens without memory in the nightmarish world of history’s largest super-prison. As he fights for his freedom, he develops visions of a past he cannot recall, causing him to lose grip on the present — leaving only a matter of time before his past & present collide.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: “Awhile back you gave some advice on how to generate a good starting point for your script. Basically, you had it down to: confined space, central hero, a mystery to solve, and keep them moving. I really took that into consideration when starting this script. But of course I was derailed along the way. I started it in March 2012, had a solid 60 pages. Then I got sick. Like, real sick. I was in the hospital for the first half of April 2012 (ruptured colon – not fun), then had no energy for the next few months to do any writing. Once I came back to Gravity Kills (which was called “Breakout” then), I realized I had strayed from your advice. I needed to get back to a clearer thru-line and stick to what I really wanted from this script. I love The Twilight Zone. And I had a great idea: a guy wakes up in a super-prison without any memory. It involves fears we all share: the innocent man accused, held against our will, losing our mind – really frightening shit. So that’s what Gravity Kills is…hopefully.
Gravity Kills is a bold science fiction thriller in the vein of Rian Johnson’s Looper (2012), Christopher Nolan’s Inception (2010), Oldboy (2003), and Dark City (1998).
I’ve had scripts finish in the top 10% at Nicholls and the Austin Film Festival, and another top 20%-er at Nicholls. I believe I have good concepts, but have struggled to really break through and sustain the ideas through Act 2 and 3 (but the endings work). So I took extra care to keep the momentum moving and I think Gravity Kills enjoys a very tight structure.”
TITLE: Arab In America!
GENRE: Family Comedy
LOGLINE: As a young Arab-American Muslim in a post 9/11 world, no one will hire Osama Ahmed Abou-Bakr, but when he changes his name to Samuel Adam Baker, his old struggles suddenly become new opportunities. However, his pursuit of the American Dream is soon undermined by the multitude of lies he creates to keep his professional and personal life from colliding.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: “Arab In America! is a thoughtful and whimsical family comedy in the vein of Mrs. Doubtfire and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Our journey began as a short film which debuted at the Cannes Film Festival in 2007. It was also awarded the Grand Prize at LinkTV’s One Nation Many Voices Film Competition and was later featured in USA Today, NPR, Yahoo Movies, Huffington Post, CNN, and many others. Ironically, everyone thought a feature was already on the way (which it wasn’t), so together Nabil Abou-Harb, Colin Ferri, and I all hunkered down to adapt our successful short film into a feature.
The challenge of adapting a 15 minute story into a full length story was a difficult task, but we did get some traction on the screenplay (after many revisions of course). We were also trying to make this film ourselves, not just sell the screenplay, and knew we were headed on an uphill battle–the main character was an Arab Muslim in a post 9/11 world after all–but the fact that we had a short film, lots of press, and a well-produced pitch reel for the feature allowed our blind query letters to actually get through to some producers and generate a bit of interest. By 2011 (yes, it was 4 years later, but we were figuring everything out as we went, and trying to make a living any way we could in the process), we had Tony Shaloub interested in playing the father of our hero, and $1 million in LOI, and things seemed to be going up.
However, the moment Osama Bin Laden was killed, Arab In America! officially became dead in the water. Personally, I believed our screenplay was a unique comedy that touched on cultural differences, family issues, and the ever-human struggle to determine one’s own self-identity, but overnight, it seemed like the cultural story became irrelevant. You can be the judge of whether that’s true or not, but thinking back on all we accomplished (and all the mistakes we made along the way), Arab In America! really is a product of its time, and its much easier to see its strengths and weaknesses in retrospect.
Now in 2013, we’ve finally been able to look at the Arab In America! screenplay on its own merits, and be proud of what we accomplished, despite the film never getting made. Perhaps there is still an audience with another revision, who knows, but for now, Arab In America! is yours to exploit for the benefit of your many readers. I know there’s plenty in there for us to learn from as well. Enjoy!”
TITLE: What Doesn’t Kill You
GENRE: Dark Thriller
LOGLINE: When a child killer is sentenced to death under dubious circumstances, the investigating detective discovers that the very man being executed holds the keys that can solve the crime.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: “You mentioned in this week’s review of Escape from tomorrow, “If you can find a way to break the rules in an interesting way, to create an excited discussion around your film or script, then the doors to Hollywood will open right up.
This script does just that! It’s a genre bending story that catches most readers off guard.
Just a note; it placed in the top 15% at Nicholls this year and finished in the top 10% in the PAGE AWARDS.”
TITLE: The 2Hr Rule
GENRE: Drama
LOGLINE: After his father falls ill, a down on his luck control freak learns to let go of the past when he meets a happy-go-lucky stripper saddled with amnesia and the lingering stigma of a mysterious scar emblazoned across her face.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: “I’ve been a music video/commerical director for over 12 years. The last 5 years has been a gradual shift into long form, with a heavy focus on writing. I’ve always been a very driven individual, sacrificing a lot for my work. But when my father fell ill with Cancer my perspective changed dramatically and I was looking for an outlet to channel what I was feeling. This script is the result. Interestingly enough, it opened the flood gates for a lot of unresolved issues and, as it turns out, I’m pretty fucked up. Fortunately it’s been a cathartic experience. A lot of what happens in the story happened to me at one point or another including getting my tattoos from cholo gangbanger with a guitar string stuffed through a hollowed out Bic pen, powered by a VCR motor. Yeah, that happened. All five times. I know you have a lot of scripts come across your desk and honestly, I can’t say why you should read mine over someone else’s. I will tell you that Nichols told me I beat out over 5,000 other scripts and gave two positive reads. But more than anything, you should read it to meet some great characters and discover a world you haven’t seen before. The story echoes the sentiment of ‘Garden State’ with a more twisted edge.”
