Another TV PILOT vs. FEATURES week! Read the amateur scripts below and find us the next Hollywood gem!
TITLE [TV PILOT]: The Barrow Boys
GENRE: Sitcom
LOGLINE: An awkward virgin arrives at university desperate to re-invent himself only to find his rough and ready, loud-mouth dad has enrolled to study with him.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: I’m a long time reader sending in my first submission (I even had a review on the site for a script called DUFF a couple of years back). I’ve been writing for seven years but I have only recently started to submit to contests and contacts. I was a reader for BBC Films and the experience taught me a lot but also made me a little so critical of my own work that I never let anyone read it. I’m trying to change that now and I thought what better place to start than Scriptshadow!
So why should you read my sitcom? Especially as you rarely review sitcoms. Well, after reading NSFW and then your review I thought I had to at least try because I think mine is funnier and better.
“But it sounds identical to the premise of that Rodney Dangerfield movie,” you’re probably thinking (and if you weren’t… Shit!) Well I thought of this before I knew about that movie, didn’t I. And quite frankly this is totally different. Will Sum 41 make a parody music video about my finale? Probably not… but mine actually makes sense. Also, I heard William Goldman told the writer’s of ‘Back to School’ to make Rodney rich and I’m not one to question Sir William Goldman but go ahead and read mine and then tell me the old man didn’t get that one wrong.
“Okay, but why does it say university and not college? Are you British are something?”
Yes. I sound like I’m from London. I don’t actually. I’m from Leeds. That’s Northern England. But I live in California and people think I sound Irish. Which I’m not. But the sitcom is set in England and I’m kind of curious if submitting this in an American market is a bad idea or whether no one cares if it’s funny.
Which leads me to my last point. I might as well tell that if this get reviewed and you don’t think it’s funny then I’ll slaughter you in the comments for not getting my dry, elevated, renowned, very British, British wit.
TITLE: Work Retreat
GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE: A recently dumped desk jockey sneaks his best friend onto an incentive vacation in Cancun, but he must pretend to be gay in order to save his job when the vacation unexpectedly turns into a company retreat.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: The hero is a good guy with the right intentions, but he’s also the WORLD CHAMPION of getting emotionally kicked in the nuts and thrown into awkward situations. If you like that sort of thing, then I think you will enjoy this script. It’s a story about friends, lies biting you in the ass, and learning how to enjoy life.
I’ve been writing for a little over a year now, and this is my second full feature script. I currently reside in Chicago, which isn’t an exploding screenwriting scene (Yeah that’s a PUN), but it’s pretty great for improv. ScriptShadow has been a great resource for learning the craft, and I’m hoping to make it through the gauntlet of AOW!
TITLE: The Hardest Weekend
GENRE: sex comedy
LOGLINE: When the world’s favorite billionaire-socialite contracts an STD that can literally kill him upon arousal, the traditional college experience transforms into a non-stop, fight for his life, survival game against hundreds of adoring women, in what becomes the hardest weekend he could have ever imagined.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: I’m one of those writers that used to take the industry really, really seriously. Hard-core drama man, I wanted to win awards for that shit, and albeit, I have had some critical and financial success, however, after living in Hollywood for five years and a recent acid trip that literally flipped my world on it’s head, I guess you could say I now see the industry for what it is — one big joke — one big joke based on illusion, money, bullshit, and lots, and lots of sex, and do you know what? I can’t say I still don’t love it for what it is! The Hardest Weekend is my 15th feature overall and the first true-blue comedy script I have ever written. Inspired by a sexual dry spell that lasted way too long, gallons of pent up sexual energy, and a never-ending epidemic of morning wood that never ceases to haunt, I live vicariously through our lead character as the story poses the questions — What if I was a baller? Every woman in the world wanted a piece of me? And if I got an erection, i would die? — Sounds like a tough gig, right? Additionally, it also heavily features Dan Bilzerian — the most interesting man on instagram — as himself doing what he does best, that is, living the fast lifestyle that he lives, filled with epic parties, vegas trips, women, and guns. Overall, I had a blast writing this script, and for the first time since I picked up the craft, I laughed more than cried while putting in the time behind the desk, and I have to admit it was one hundred percent better all around, so, to all you dudes out there, speaking as a ridiculously horny twentysomething that’s shamefully spent more hours in the dark pecking away at tear-jerkers than he has out in bright, sunny LA pulling all that young, hollywood tail walking around, do yourself a favor and put down that newest Nicholl’s winner for an hour or two, and grab The Hardest Weekend… I guarantee it won’t be just your mind that thanks your for it.
TITLE [TV PILOT]: The New World
GENRE: Fantasy/Adventure
LOGLINE: A group of survivors; including a famous actor, a security guard and a failed warrior from ‘the other side’, begin a perilous cross-country journey from California to Florida through post-apocalyptic America over run by fantasy creature.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: In the spirit of the recent amateur submission, “Ariel”, I give you “The New World”, a fantasy/adventure drama pilot inspired by the same book. You should read “The New World” because it is the first part of an epic journey across a transformation and wonder. For unknown reasons, the world has been overrun by fantastic creatures from another place and time. Orcs, trolls, griffins, dragons and a multitude of other impossible creatures have taken over and survival has become paramount. Against this back drop, a group of survivors, led by an actor trying to find his daughter, must journey from California to Florida. “The New World” combines the high adventure of “The Lord of the Rings” with the character driven drama and mysterious intrigue of “Lost”.
A little about me, I’m a veteran, did five years as photo journalist for the Army from 2005 to 2010. Yes, I’ve seen “Full Metal Jacket”. Yes, I did write for my high school newspaper. No, I did not write for “Stars and Stripes”. No, I will not do a story about you because “I’m so freakin’ good”. Anyway, I moved to LA after leaving the Army to pursue my dream of screenwriting. I’ve had some near contest success. I was a runner up for the Fox’s Television’s studio fellowship, the NexTV Writing and Pitching Competition and the Script-a-thon. Early this year, I was interviewed for a slot in UCLA’s MFA in Screenwriting Program. Still waiting for that big break.
TITLE: The Introvert’s Playlist
GENRE: Romantic Comedy
LOGLINE: A woman with a rare auditory disorder reconsiders her life of solitude when she meets an inquisitive sound engineer (who might just be crazier than she is). But is his interest in her a case of romance…or research?
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: Did you love “A Beautiful Mind” with Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly? Did you secretly wish it had been more like Russell Crowe’s personal life – i.e. funnier, with less math and more assault charges?
If you answered ‘yes’ to both these questions then please consider casting your eyeballs over my RomCom, The Introvert’s Playlist. I’d be grateful for any and all feedback. I’ve already pledged my first born child to BifferSpice in return for his absolutely incredible notes, but if I wind up having twins you’re all welcome to fight over the other one I guess.
