I am going to make a declaration at this moment that will change your life. I am going to guarantee (yes, I said GUARANTEE) that I improve the dialogue in your latest script. Guaranteed better dialogue, you say, Carson? How is that even possible? Are you a magician? Funny you should ask. I am. And today’s magic trick is going to make Harry Potter s&%# his pants.
You see, I’ve been reading your Scriptshadow 250 entries, and one of the things I haven’t been too impressed with is the dialogue. Much of it is, shall we say, uninspired. So I cooked up some eggs (I do this whenever I have deep-thinking sessions) sat down with myself, and I asked myself, “What can I tell these eager screenwriting mavens to help them better their dialogue??” About five eggs in, after getting a good egg-buzz going, it came to me like a rooster at sunrise.
Dialogue… is differlogue.
Do not avert your eyes. Because yes, it just happened. I made up a word, my friends. One that I will be submitting for entry into Webster’s Dictionary as soon as I finish this article. You see, the main issue with all the dialogue I’ve read… IS THAT IT WAS ALL THE SAME. The sentence structure was the same. Everybody said the same things. Everybody spoke in the same cadence. Everybody had the same personality. These writers were not aware of life’s three essential truths. The right to freedom. The right to happiness. And that dialogue is differelogue.
The concept behind differlogue is simple. Good dialogue is derived from two characters who speak differently. The contrasting styles bring a natural spark to the conversation. If a depressed DMV worker is speaking with another depressed DMV worker, the personality of the dialogue is going to be very one-note (read: boring). But if you pair a depressed DMV worker with an over-sharing optimistic 17 year-old cheerleader, now your dialogue comes to life via the power of contrast.
DIFFERLOGUE!
You achieve differlogue by figuring out what makes a character unique, and then giving them an IDENTIFIER that will subsequently inform the way they speak. Once you’ve assigned identifiers for each character, put them in a conversation together and watch your dialogue come alive. There are literally hundreds of identifiers you can use for characters, but to start you off, I’ll list 15 of the most common ones. Here we go!
1) The Chatterbox – You know this person. Everybody has one in their life. They talk and they talk and they talk and they WON’T SHUT THEIR TRAP. They’re usually super annoying, and therefore perfect for characters you want your reader to dislike. However, you can use the chatterbox in endearing ways as well, such as with Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything.
2) The Cool Cat – The cool cat tends to take their time when they speak. They’re in no hurry. And they don’t care if you are. Unlike the chatterbox, who says a lot, the cool cat usually chooses his words carefully and says little. Check out Matthew McConaughey’s famous character from Dazed and Confused to see the cool cat in action.
3) The Nervous Nellie – This character hates talking. Every sentence is an adventure for them and they’re 90% sure they’re going to fuck it up. They’ll often stop mid-sentence, think back, re-phrase things, before stumbling forward again. These people don’t like to talk. And you can hear it in their voice.
4) The Impatient – These people have a million things to do and they consider a conversation with you as a necessary obstacle to achieving these things. For this reason, they spit out their words quickly and expect quick answers. There’s an underlying tension when these characters speak as their impatience puts pressure on others to keep up. A lot of bosses will carry this tone, but there’s no reason why you can’t assign the impatient to your hero’s wife (or even 5 year old son!).
5) The Clown – Some people can’t go ten seconds without making a joke. Humor is their way of getting noticed and also their defense against a cruel cruel world, so they’ll use it when times are good and when times are bad. Don’t be afraid to play with these characters. For example, you can make them genuinely funny or embarrassingly unfunny. Each will have a different effect on the dialogue.
6) The Movie Star – No, I don’t mean a literal movie star, I mean the kind of character who oozes so much charm, so much confidence, so much swagger, that they come off as larger than life. The ultimate “Movie Star” character is Tony Stark, aka Iron Man.
7) The Internal – This character speaks even less than the cool cat. They don’t think talking is worth all the trouble. If they have something important to say, they’ll say it. Otherwise they either answer in 1-3 word sentences or not at all. A great example of The Internal is Mike from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul.
8) Sarcastic Sam – A close cousin to the clown, think of Sarcastic Sam as an opportunist who’s always looking for the perfect moment to bust out his favorite sentence-toy, sarcasm. “You cold? You look cold.” “Oh no, my face is always the color of sea water.” Even when Sarcastic Sam isn’t being sarcastic, you get the sense that he’s waiting for the next opportunity.
9) The Military Man – These characters tend to speak very formally and get straight to the point. Like The Impatient, they create tension in a conversation, but the military man is more respectful and engaging. Still, these characters will rarely add flavor to anything they say. They keep it vanilla unlike Godzilla. The ultimate military man was Colonel Fitts from American Beauty. But there’s no reason why you can’t assign “Military Man” to a babysitter, a 7-11 checker, or a UPS delivery woman.
10) The Used Car Salesman – These characters always seem to be selling you something, even when there’s nothing to sell. They also always seem like they’re hiding something or know something about you that they’re keeping to themselves. These characters always keep you off-balance since you can never trust a word they say.
11) Debbie Downer – This person finds every opportunity to rain on your parade. Tell him it’s nice out? He’ll counter with, “Enjoy it. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” Compliment his tie? He’ll point out, “It’s my father’s. He died last month.” Take him out for his favorite ice cream. He’ll take one lick before proclaiming, “It was better last week.” Nobody likes a Debbie downer, but they can be a joy to write dialogue for.
12) The Know-it-All – The know-it-all doesn’t need much explanation. He knows it all. And he’s going to tell you every chance he gets.
13) The Queen Bee – The Queen Bee, like everyone here, is not gender specific. It can be a woman or a man. It signifies someone who’s in charge and uses that power to influence the world around them. These characters have a way of talking down to you like you’re five.
14) The Scatterbrain – The scatterbrain usually has 15% of his brain dedicated to the current conversation and 85% to all the other shit they have to do. The scatterbrain will ask for a lot of “Say that agains” and pepper his speech with plenty of “uh-huhs” even though he’s rarely listening.
15) The Guarded – The Guarded speaks very carefully since they don’t trust people. They believe everyone they talk to wants something or knows something about them, and therefore a conversation with The Guarded is sort of like a chess match. You have to make the right moves to get more out of them. Otherwise, their measured approach will stonewall your ass.
These are just 15 examples but there are plenty more out there. If you’re looking to add to the list, find your favorite movies and see if you can label the main characters with an identifier. Now some of these might seem a bit broad, but they’re just starting points. There are shades of gray to each. And you’ll find that some of your favorite characters ever fall into these categories. Robert DeNiro in Heat is a Guarded. Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption is an Internal. George McFly in Back to the Future is a scatterbrain.
But the real power of these identifiers comes when you do two things: Use them against type and pit two opposite identifiers against each other. For example, to go against type, make a dorky 13 year-old the Queen Bee. Or make the CEO of the biggest company in the world a Nervous Nellie. The irony should add a little extra kick to the dialogue. Then, to really have fun with dialogue, pit the most contrasting identifiers against each other. A Negative Nancy with a Movie Star. A chatterbox with a Guarded. A know-it-all with a military man.
In fact, I want you to do that right now. In order to see the power of the differlogue, take a couple of the above identifiers, opposite ones preferably, assign them to two characters, then go write a scene. You’ll notice your dialogue getting better right in front of your eyes. From there, you’re only steps away from utilizing this tool in your current screenplay. I’d ask you to post your results but there isn’t any point. All of it will be genius. Have fun writing the best dialogue ever!
