And a really important screenwriting lesson on how to create tension in scenes
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Okay, I wanted to leave you with some screenwriting advice over the weekend.
I’m with family right now and my parents love World War 2 movies so I was stuck watching two of them whether I wanted to or not. The first one was Steve McQueen’s Blitz on Apple TV which is about how, during World War 2, when Germany bombed London, the British sent all the kids out of the city to safety. The story follows one kid who jumps out of the train and travels back to London to return to his mom.
The second movie is Lee, about model-turned-war-photographer Lee Miller, who captured a lot of powerful photographs during World War 2 for Vogue magazine.
Both films are what I would call “Almost Films.” They were almost good. But weak writing reared its ugly head enough times to keep them from ever rising above average. In fact, there were two scenes, one from each film, that best represented this bad writing. And I wanted to highlight those scenes.
Let’s start with Blitz.
In that film, the little kid, George, makes it back to London but is picked up by an evil group of criminals who raid bombed buildings for valuables. They need children, specifically, to fit into tight spaces. So one of the following scenes has George crawling through a bombed jewelry store to snag every watch and necklace he can find.
However, while he’s there, a couple of policemen burst in on the other side, looking for looters. The musical score becomes tense as George hides behind some debris. The score increases in intensity as the cops get closer and closer to him until, right as they’re about to spot him, George kicks some debris, causing a partial building collapse that sends the cops running back outside to safety.
To an average writer, this may seem like a good scene. You place your hero in a somewhat dangerous situation. Then, to make it worse, he might get caught. But let’s look at this scene more closely. Who is it that George is with? He’s with REALLY BAD DANGEROUS GUYS! Therefore, if the cops were to spot him, THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING! The cops would get him away from this dangerous gang AND, after everything was cleared up, reunite him with his mom.
You must design your tension-filled scenes so that they actually create tension. There is no tension if the people who might find you and take you are better than the people you’re currently stuck with. This seems obvious to me. I don’t know why it isn’t for a WGA writer getting to write a 30 million dollar movie.
You didn’t even need to bring cops into this scene to create tension. Have George snag a bunch of jewelry. He squeezes back through the little pathways to the bad guys back at the entrance. Then, Head Bad Guy says, “No, you need to go back and get [the item that’s placed in the most dangerous place in the bombed room]. You can’t come back until you get it.” Have it be some item that requires George to maneuver up a very shaky foundation of bombed debris. A single wrong step and it’ll all come tumbling down and he’ll be buried under 20 tons of rubble. THAT’S A TENSION-FILLED SCENE.
Let’s move on to “Lee.” This movie was VERY poorly written. There was zero plot. The only thing it has going for it is a twist ending that packs an emotional gut punch. Other than that, it was your classic biopic: Wikipedia life highlights. The End.
In one particular scene, deep into the story, Lee and her assistant, Davy, have made their way into Germany immediately after the war has ended, and are at Hitler’s apartment. They pay a guard to get inside and find a couple dozen Americans lounging around.
Just like the scene in Blitz, a tension-filled score plays in the background. Lee and Davy walk through this large apartment as, literally, NOT A SINGLE PERSON LOOKS AT THEM. Yet the score keeps ratcheting up the tension. If you’re like me, you’re wondering, why is this supposed to be a tense scene? These are their allies. There is, literally, no reason to feel any tension. And yet, that’s how the scene continues to be presented.
Finally, Lee and Davy get to the bathroom. They close the door, and Lee quickly disrobes. Davy, catching on, sets up the camera. And as the tension-filled score reaches a climax, Davy takes a picture of Lee in the bathtub. End of scene.
The inaneness of this scene was so baffling to me that I went online and looked for more context. I eventually learned that this was a real picture that Lee Miller took and that was published.
In other words, the writer’s plan, in order to create tension, was to assume that everyone who watched this movie already knew about this photo. Because that is the ONLY REASON why there would be tension to this scene – that we already knew what it was Lee and Davy were going to do.
Except if I went into the middle of any city in the U.S. right now and asked 1000 random people if they had heard of Lee Miller Hitler’s bathroom photo, all 1000 of them would tell me that they had no idea what I was talking about.
I see this mistake a lot. Biopic screenwriters assuming that others know as much about their subject as they do. They never do. And, hence, you will get zero tension out of this scene.
To create tension, place her in a room FILLED WITH ACTUAL NAZIS. Have her and Davy have to squeeze past that. I guarantee you that scene will be a million times more compelling than this scene. Heck, this Key and Peele sketch has more tension than the Hitler bathroom scene. I’m not exaggerating. I have more fear for Key and Peele here than I ever did Lee and Davy.
The lesson of today is, put the pot ON THE BURNER. Don’t put it near the burner. Don’t put it half on the burner. If you want to mine the most tension out of your scene, put the pot on the burner and jack up the heat as high as it will go.
