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So, the other day, I was listening to a sports podcast (Pardon My Take for those interested) and they were talking about how an external mouse instantly makes you look more professional. Not better at your job. Just more serious. Put a mouse next to your laptop and people assume you’re working 20 percent harder than you are, even if you’re doing the exact same thing as the trackpad person. It was actually a funny five minute bit.
Afterwards, something hit me. This is the sort of thing that only used to be available in movies. If I wanted a thoughtful funny bit about the minutia of life, I would’ve had to go to the theatre to watch When Marry Met Sally. Or, more recently, The 40 Year Old Virgin. But now, even daily podcasts are giving me the equivalent of what I only used to get in the theater.
I think about stuff like this all the time because I see cinema as being in a war. And, every day, we’re losing ground to the enemy. Unlike other people, though, I’m not Mr. Doom & Gloom. The reason I want to know what we’re up against is because I want to figure out how we fight back. How we regain ground in this war.
And that question boils down to: What can we give people that no other medium can? Or, specific to this site, what can we write about that creates a movie experience that can’t be experienced anywhere else? To be honest, that was one of the big reasons I went all-in on Osculum Infame. And it’s been echoed back to me by everyone who’s come onto the film. This is an experience you will not be able to get ANYWHERE ELSE but in film. Period. End of story. Not even close.
With that said, it’s a shocker of a film. And I don’t want to think that’s the only way to write a script that becomes a movie in the future. I want there to still be versions of movies in the romantic comedy genre, the thriller genre, the supernatural genre, the sci-fi genre, and yes, even the drama genre, that people go and see.
One movie that got people to the theater that no one was expecting was this weekend’s Iron Lung. Iron Lung was written, directed, starred in, and produced by a video game streamer, Markiplier.
The story behind the movie is interesting. Markiplier played this little-known video game years ago about steering a submarine through a sea of blood and thought it would be interesting to turn it into a movie. In the spirit of every smart aspiring filmmaker, he kept costs low by starring in it himself and setting it in one location (the sub).
After finishing the film, no distributor would give him the time of day. He could only get into 60 theaters. So he called on his followers to call every theater they know and demand the movie. The campaign worked. He was eventually able to get a wide release (3000 theaters) and finish with the highest per-theater average of the weekend, finishing number 2 overall, with 18 million dollars.
It’s a true do-it-yourself triumph.
But what does it say about screenwriting?
A couple of things actually. One thing I’ve always said is that there are TONS – we are talking TONS – of overlooked IP in the book, comic book, and video game space. If you had a cool take on one of these IP, the rights would cost you NOTHING. And now you’re working with something that’s already been proven and that provides a little more cachet whenever you’re pitching up the Hollywood ladder.
Clearly, the weird moodiness of this unique video game made Markiplier believe it would strike a chord with audiences. And he was right! It did.
Also, this is another reminder that when you film your own script, you skip the line. I mean, if we’re being one-hundred here, this movie looks awful. It looks like your typical “stuck in a room and goes crazy” narrative, which are essentially impossible to do well past the 20 minute mark. Even when Hollywood puts its biggest stars and highest production value into them (Solaris 2002), they’re horrible. So, I’m guessing this is a much worse version of that.
But that’s actually more inspiring than you think. Cause you guys actually know how to write! I would be shocked if Markiplier has spent more than 30 hours on screenwriting in his entire life. And that’s including writing this script!
If you could write a GOOD version of a contained thriller that’s cheap to produce, and then somehow found a way to make it? Then you’ve just made an actual good movie while all the other writers who used to be on the same level as you are still holding their hands out waiting to be given permission to step forward.
But if you’d rather stab yourself a thousand times in the eyes with an ink-tip pen than direct a feature film, I got good news for you. Send Help, about a boss who crash lands on a deserted island with his psycho assistant, won the weekend box office! It took in 20 million dollars. Not only that. It was basically a spec script! And that means, if you had written a script like it, you could’ve sold it.
This script is part of a new subgenre I want to officially title now. I’m calling it an “Expanded Contained Thriller.” What I mean by that is, we’re not constrained to a single room (Iron Lung) or a single indoor space (10 Cloverfield Lane). We’re still contained (in this case, we’re on an island) but the area is larger and gives us more to play with.
The downside to a Send Help is that it’s definitely going to cost more to make than an Iron Lung or an Osculum Infame. So that’s the risk. You’re going from a 3-5 million dollar movie to a 15-25 million dollar movie. And less production houses can afford that kind of cap hit. But, it’s still a better strategic option than writing a 100 million dollar sci-fi script.
Want more good news? Between Send Help, Mercy, The Housemaid, and Shelter (Jason Statham pic), you’ve got four movies that either were, or which could’ve easily been, spec screenplays. Throw Primate in there as well. In other words, there are opportunities for writers to sell their scripts and get them turned into films. I just gave you proof!
BUT! Notice how sexy all of those pitches are. Each one of them is a clear “this could be a movie” pitch. You’re not getting to this place with your thematic mood piece about a dying middle-aged couple who try and sell their farm before they kick the bucket.
Back to my original question. What can we give people, as writers, that they can only experience in the world of film? I don’t know the answer to that yet. But I do know this. The margin for error has gotten exponentially slimmer. And Hollywood hasn’t accepted that yet.
They’ve gotten into this state of denial where they’ve cozied up with Rotten Tomatoes and still believe that a 90% Rotten Tomatoes score means you’ve made a good movie. And it’s just not true. I don’t know if it was ever true but it certainly used to be more true.
Audiences are clearly demanding something closer to a transformational experience, and not just something that passes the time. Because there are a million things out there that allow you to pass the time now. Movies are no longer the only game in town.
Which benefits writers who are dedicated to the craft and determined to keep learning and keep getting better.
I will say that, from what I can tell, writing doesn’t seem to be under threat from AI. I’m actually starting to think that the filmmaking space is way more under attack than the writing space. But AI doesn’t seem to know how to elicit emotion or create compelling drama or create affecting characters. So I suspect that as the AI filmmaking world continues to improve, screenwriters will be more and more in demand.
But that’s an article for another time. :)
What did you guys watch this weekend? Anything good?
