We check out two First Page Entries and glean what it takes to write a great first page.
Instead of doing a Logline Showdown this month, we are doing a FIRST PAGE SHOWDOWN. You send me the first page of your script, I put the best five first pages up on the site, the readers of the site vote for their favorite, the winner gets a script review the following Friday.
Can you follow in the success of the wonderful Wayward Son? Only way to find out is to enter!
What: First Page Showdown
Send in: Title, Genre, Logline, and a PDF of the first page of your script
Deadline: Thursday, September 21st, 10:00pm Pacific Time
Where: e-mail all entries to carsonreeves3@gmail.com
As I’ve begun to read through the first page submissions, I noticed something. Some writers had sent in whatever first page was already in their script. Other writers re-thought their first scene to allow for the best first page possible. For example, there are a lot of submissions where a murder has just taken place.
What’s interesting about this is that, in a few of the cases, I’d already read the entire script. So I knew where the scenes were going. I knew that, in one case specifically, even though the first page was mundane, the scene itself would build to a fun climactic moment on page 7.
There isn’t anything wrong with writing a slow-build first scene. I actually think slow-build scenes work better than scenes that shock you from the outset.
HOWEVER.
I also realized from this exercise just how crucial it is to grab the reader right away. Does a great slow-build page 7 climax matter if they never get past the first page? For this reason, you should seriously consider reworking your first scene so that it has a great first page. I mean, how many times have you seen readers of this site give up on first pages in the Showdowns? 17 million?
With that in mind, I’m going to give you two first page entries. Me featuring these has no bearing on their potential inclusion in the showdown. I just want to share with you what a reader looks at as he’s reading a first page.
Before we rethink this scene, I want to acknowledge that maybe something earth-shattering happens on page 2. But taking that out of the equation, how could we have made this opening page better?
Well, we have an old person with dementia. We have a staircase. Why would you have them walk UP that staircase with help when you could have them walk DOWN that staircase with no help? Isn’t that a scarier more suspenseful scenario?
Maybe the opening shot is on Lea and her “Registered Dementia Specialist” tag asleep in a chair. Rose is up and walking along the second-floor hallway, looking out of it. She gets to the stairs, looks down them with a sense of confusion and fear. We highlight how delicate Rose is, how she would crumble if she fell. Then we milk that suspense. Is she going to walk down the stairs? Hang on that question for as long as possible.
Even if she didn’t start the walk down the stairs, that’s still a great first page. I GUARANTEE YOU every single executive in Hollywood who read that first page would read the second. And if they read the second, there’s a chance they’ll read the third. And the fourth. And so on.
Maybe our writer has a better scene than this written if we’d just kept reading. But this is the first page contest. You gotta hook us right away.
Here’s our second entry.
Would I keep reading here? Probably not. I give credit to the writer for starting off the story with something happening. This opening page promises major conflict if we keep reading. But for me it comes down to subject matter. I’ve read a million scripts about Afghanistan. What are you giving me that’s different here?
“But Carson, it’s only one page! I can’t give you something different on one page!” Yes you can! You can give me a quick page beat that’s unexpected, that’s unique, that focuses on something original that we don’t usually see in these screenplays. Competition is tough, guys. You don’t get to say, “Well, what you’re asking for is too much.” YOU’RE GOING UP AGAINST HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF OTHER WRITERS. Decent first pages, which this is, aren’t enough.
I need you to embody that. Imagine just how much competition you have. And let that push your bar up higher. Cause that’s all this is. We all set a bar for ourselves. If that bar is too low, you’re not going to push yourself. So put it up high. Make it impossible for someone not to turn the page after your first page.
Keep sending those first pages in for First Page Showdown!
