One of my favorite things in life is, after a long day of work, to watch a new movie. It used to be I’d go to Blockbuster. Then Redbox. Then Apple. Not it’s Amazon. Scroll through the choices, find something that looks good, press play, and turn off my brain. I honestly don’t think there’s anything that gives me more happiness.
But happy times have changed. I can’t remember the last time I found a movie I wanted to watch. Granted, there are extraneous circumstances going on here, seeing as we’re in a pandemic. But that’s only really affected the gigantic movies. Everything else is getting released. If you want to join me in a collective eyebrow raise, go to Amazon, Apple, or Netflix right now and look at what movies they’re promoting. Here are a few that I came across…
Are we even trying anymore?
There isn’t a single movie here that someone who isn’t obsessed with the specific subject matter would be interested in seeing. The concepts are so specialized and/or uncommercial that just looking at them sends me into a boredom coma. What happened to releasing movies that people were actually interested in?
If I’m not mistaken, one of the movies on this list has a title with a spice pun.
Let me repeat that. It puts a spice pun in its title.
Or this Malcom and Marie movie. In the past 30 years, there hasn’t been a single movie released in black and white that wasn’t more about the director than the audience. It is a purely egotistical move that is never about improving the viewer experience. And I love John David Washington. But you will sooner catch me getting a facial reconstruction consultation from Kylie Jenner’s doctor before I watch this film. If you want to make black and white films, enroll at USC. They’ll let you make all the black and white films you want. As a bonus, only your classmates will have to suffer through them.
Then there’s News of the World. Could there be a more boring looking poster in the past decade? If a bearded Tom Hanks standing next to a girl in a context-less Old West setting doesn’t put you to sleep, the title of the movie, which is so disconnected from the film’s promotional image as to make you wonder if they accidentally put the wrong title on the poster, will.
I hate complaining about this but I love movies. So when the industry that creates movies offers me nothing to watch, I’m upset. Especially because that industry is creating more movies than ever. Not to mention, it’s easier to watch movies than ever. So you’d think a few would turn out to be decent.
I mean did you see the big film to come out of Sundance this week? It’s called “Coda” and it’s about a hearing-impaired family that owns a fishing business. Who’s going to watch that movie outside of the 5000 people who work in the indie movie industry and 100 Rotten Tomato critics?? Nobody is.
Not that Sundance is known for churning out box office juggernauts. But it did give us Little Miss Sunshine. It did give us Hustle and Flow. It gave us Palm Springs. It gave us The Big Sick. It gave us Reservoir Dogs. Coda looks like it’s meant to show us pretty pictures of boats during sunset while characters cry about, I don’t know, not catching enough fish that day.
Even when the industry is releasing movies meant for bigger audiences, they’re screwing it up. Like The Little Things, which has a couple of great actors in it (Denzel Washington and Jared Leto). The serial killer genre has mass appeal when done well. So you’d think this one would have potential. But The Little Things may be the most average script ever written. The concept is fool’s gold. It seems like it should be interesting. Yet you’re bored to tears.
And, by the way. None of these movies are even any good. It’d be one thing if they were weak ideas but great films. But nobody’s talking about any of these movies. Nobody’s saying, “Oh man, you have to check out News of the World! Stop what you’re doing right now! Tom Hanks has a 15 page monologue about cowboy spurs that’s going to change how you approach your life!” The only praise these films are getting are from Rotten Tomatoes critics who can’t even be honest about what films they dislike anymore less they get yelled at on Twitter.
Believe it or not, there is a silver lining to all this.
When you deprive a market of anything for too long, the market will eventually correct itself. You are depriving people of fun movie ideas. You are telling them that the only products available are sad artsy non-commercial specialized faire. Guess what. It’s only a matter of time before they scream at you to give them something fun again.
Give us The Invisible Man. Give us The Shallows. Give us Sicario. Give us Knives Out. Give us Get Out. Give us John Wick. Give us The Martian. Give us Zombieland. Give us The Meg. Give us The Bourne Identity. If you want to play with more nuanced subject matter or character-driven material , frame it inside a story that people actually want to see. Like Arrival. Like The Revenant. Like Nightcrawler. Like Chef.
It’s for this reason that I think high concept ideas are about to make a comeback. People are bored. They want movies that are fun again. Which is all the more reason to enter the High Concept Showdown here at Scriptshadow. Let us, together, bring good movies back to the people!
The Endless Scrolling disease plaguing streaming services everywhere is going to have a long-term negative impact the likes of which we may never recover from unless we do something now. Don’t be complicit in the end of satisfied movie-watching experiences. You can find out more about the High Concept Showdown here.
Look, I just want good movies again. I just want to pull up Amazon and see a movie I want to rent. I mean, to give you an idea of how bad it’s gotten, I’m considering watching The Assistant tonight. Everything I’ve been told about that movie amounts to, “It’s good, but nothing happens.” You see what you’ve done to me, Hollywood? I’ve resorted to watching movies where I’ve been told, IN ADVANCE, that nothing happens. You can do better!
We’ll end this post with a ‘What I Learned.’ When you come up with a movie idea, imagine the poster. Now, this is the part where you have to be honest with yourself because the tip doesn’t work otherwise. When you imagine that poster, is that a movie you believe a lot of people would want to see? Or is it a movie that only YOU would want to see? If it’s a movie that only you would want to see, it’s probably not a good enough movie concept.
Where are the good movies, guys??? Tell me!
