Let’s try not to be this guy.
Something that’s been working really well lately is including amateur screenplays in my weekly newsletter. The feedback has really helped me determine which scripts to review and raised the quality of Amateur Friday immensely. That’s not to say I don’t want to ever review a bad amateur script again. You can learn a lot from reading a bad screenplay. In fact, it’s one of the more underrated ways of improving your screenwriting. When you read something good, the screenwriting world is all roses and bunnies. Everything seems easy and it’s impossible to do wrong. But when you read something bad, you more easily identify similar mistakes in your own writing. “Ohhh,” you realize, “that’s why the love scene between my blind protagonist and his autistic boss doesn’t work.” It’s a chore to get through those scripts, I know, but I promise you’ll be a better writer for it.
The success of the amateur newsletter has given me all sorts of ideas on how to expand the hunt for material and continue to give writers more opportunities to break through. But it’s only going to work if you guys participate. So if you’re on the newsletter, take a minute and download the amateur scripts. Read until you get bored, whether that be on page 1 or page 120. Report back to me on what you thought and, if you stopped reading, why. You could be the person who notices a quality screenplay, resulting in a review, and maybe getting that writer noticed by the industry. You could make a difference! And I promise you, making a difference is one of the best feelings you can get in this business.
If it all works out, days like these will have even better scripts, since you won’t be picking from completely random screenplays, but rather screenplays that have already been approved by your peers! Now for you vets, you know how today works. For you newbies, I’m including the first ten pages of 10 amateur screenplays that have been submitted to me for Amateur Friday. Read anything that sounds interesting (or doesn’t) and share your opinions in the comments section. Any script that gets a fair share of positive feedback will probably get reviewed on the site. Enjoy!
Title: The Plea
Genre: Drama
Logline: Patrick McQuaid comes from a tough, working class, South Boston-Irish Catholic family. He finished at the top of his class in law school, recently passed his bar exam but has never tried a case. That changes when he takes an in-house counsel position at a Boston Free Clinic, where he has to defend an Iraqi vet suffering from PTSD, who’s on trial for the attempted murder of a Boston Police Officer.
Extra details: Included in my latest newsletter, some of you reported back that this one was pretty good.
Title: Thread
Genre: Crime/Musical
Logline: Set in a fictionalized Los Angeles, over run by a sprawling favela called “Paradise City,” Vale, a young man, joins Paradise’s notorious kidnapping gang to exact revenge on a system that failed him.
Extra details: A couple of people have told me that this one has something to it. Others have told me it’s unreadable. I like bizarre scripts that take chances. And we never have musicals on here. So even though I haven’t read it myself , I’d like to get more feedback on it. If this one’s good, it could be a fun one to review.
Title: Scion
Genre: Supernatural
Logline: A naive young man’s dreams of a normal life is hijacked by a charismatic “faith healer” and a powerful media tycoon when both become hell bent on exploiting the young man’s amazing gift…the power to raise the dead. — This one comes from a writer who’s optioned a couple of scripts but hasn’t yet broken through.
Extra details: Of all the amateur scripts I’ve sent out recently, this one is getting the best response. I’ve decided I’m already going to review it, but thought I’d put it up anyway to see what you guys think.
Title: Hamsters
Genre: British darkly-comedic caper-thriller.
Logline: A writer’s inadvertent bag-swap with a pair of BDSM aficionados, one of whom is a would-be blackmailer, leads to murder … and hamsters!
Extra details: I just had to give this one a shot because the author’s e-mail picture is actually him holding a hamster.
Title: The Great Belzoni
Genre: Historical Adventure
Logline: The Great Belzoni is based on the life of Giovanni Belzoni (1778-1823), a 6’8″ circus strongman who journeys to Egypt in 1815 and becomes the greatest buccaneer in the history of Archaeology. Using modern scientific methods, he robs the Pharaohs tombs and fills an entire wing of the British Museum.
Extra Details: From the writer on why you should read the script: “My inspiration for this script is Raiders of the Lost Ark. To me, it’s a perfect movie, one of the greats. I know everyone on Script Shadow loves it as well. But when I send the script out to Agents and Producers, all I hear is how much they like the writing but because it’s a period piece and they’re afraid to touch it. A period piece? Raiders, in case they forgot, was a period piece AND the greatest action movie ever made! — Even though The Great Belzoni is set in 1815 and is based on actual events, I tried to make it a slam-bang action movie in the pulp style of Raiders of the Lost Ark. It has bar fights, chase scenes (on land and water), shoot-outs, sword fights, duels, scientific displays, tomb openings, tomb robberies, warehouse robberies, treasure maps, dastardly villains, damsels in distress, friendships, love and the pursuit of immortality.
Title: The Life Intended
Genre: action/drama/fantasy
Logline: A wrongfully institutionalized teen and the father she never knew must navigate a cross-country road trip littered with assassins to pass on a supernatural family legacy and control of a billion dollar foundation.
Extra Details: Writer is moving his family to LA to pursue the dream. Now that’s putting it all on the line!
Title: Cow Cross Calling
Genre: Period/drama/action
Logline: A condemned-to-hang London thief discovers he has more in common with his enemies than his masters when he’s gang-pressed into a secret frontier war in early Australia.
Extra Details: I gave the writer notes on this one. Has one of the more gruesome opening scenes I’ve read!
Title: Aquaman: Redemption Hour
Genre: Action/Comedy (How can an Aquaman movie be anything BUT a comedy?)
Logline: Aquaman retires when he is fired from the Justice League for being a “lame superhero.” But when mankind’s safety is threatened by a natural disaster and a dangerous adversary, he is the world’s only hope. Unfortunately, he must battle his own insecurities first.
Extra Details: Included in the e-mail: “I think that you should read my script because it is basically the “Anti-Superhero-Movie” movie. It is inspired, funny, and unique. Where else would you find a script about a superhero who interrogates a shark, has a goldfish for a best friend, and kicks a dolphin’s ass?” This writer sounds funny. Interested to see if the script is the same.
Title: Princess Park
Genre: Drama
Logline: When a teenage girl claims the Virgin Mary is appearing to her in a Seattle park, a media circus ensues and the Vatican is compelled to send in an investigator to learn the truth.
Extra Details: Writer got a callback from Bruckheimer Films about TV ideas after reading the script.
Title: The Serial Killer’s Apprentice
Genre: Thriller
Logline: A terminally ill serial killer selects an apprentice to carry on his work. But when his protege spirals out of control and targets the mentor’s estranged daughter, the mentor must stop the monster he’s created.
Extra Details: Writer’s reason for us to read: “I think you should read THE SERIAL KILLER’S APPRENTICE because it has fascinating, unconventional characters, a unique sense of humor and compelling irony with resonating, universal themes of mortality and regret. It isn’t afraid to take risks which, in this day and age, is a breath of fresh air.”
Download these pages and tell me what you think. Also, if you’re one of these writers and your script doesn’t seem to be getting any mentions in the comments section, ask the community why. What is it that’s keeping them from reading or commenting on your script? This is probably the best way for all writers to learn what goes into the process of selection. Good luck. I hope we find something great! :)
