Genre: Found footage/Crime-thriller
Premise: Told through the lens of a police-worn body camera, a retiring cop with a baby on the way faces the most harrowing shift of his career after a traffic stop devolves into a violent mess affecting both sides of the law.
Why You Should Read: I’ve always thought a found-footage film involving a cop’s body camera would be an interesting concept to explore. Police-worn body camera footage persists as some of the most controversial, yet fascinating forms of real-time-media in existence today. Think about it, when’s the last time you didn’t click on a “contains graphic content” police video that was shared to social media? The footage always tells a story, but rarely captures the facts in their entirety. As a police lieutenant, I watch countless hours of body cam footage from the officers under my watch and am rarely ever bored. On the contrary, they typically inspire movie ideas for my scripts. For “Cop Cam”, I wanted to infuse elements from some of the most disturbing videos I’ve encountered into a grounded, found-footage crime-thriller told from the first-person perspective of one cop’s final day on duty. While most found footage films deal in supernatural horror, I aimed to bend the genre here into purely thriller territory, although a lot of feedback has mentioned it certainly flirts with horror. The script just received positive coverage from WeScreenplay: “This high-octane, action-packed thrill ride is a rip-roaring page-turner told with unflinching authenticity. The amount of story, twists, and turns in this tight script is a strong showing of narrative economy. A cops and robbers caper that unfolds like a beautiful car wreck with a continually worsening state of affairs that’s likely to appeal to mass audiences. This is one flat out cool movie.”
Writer: Jason Gruich
Details: 92 pages
It’s funny that just Wednesday, I reviewed a script, “Don’t Worry, Darling,” where the ‘What I Learned’ section touted the power of the “Beginning of the Second Act” twist. And, more importantly, the key to pulling it off, which is to keep the First Act short. That way we get to the twist faster. Because once they get to that twist, you’ve got’em. It’s only before the twist that you might lose them.
I bring that up because there were definitely moments early in Cop Cam where I was wavering. Jason did a nice job keeping the writing sparse so that the eyes moved down the page. But there were some scenes where I felt like we were dragging on. Conversations were taken to their logical conclusion and then they’d start talking about something else. And then, once that conversation was over, we’d switch over to another conversation that was similar to that one.
Now if I were Jason’s Storytelling Lawyer, I would argue that the longer First Act brings us closer to Angel. The longer we’re with this guy, the more we’re going to like him, which means the twist is going to hit us harder. And I understand that argument. When you weigh the pros and cons of long first acts, one of the pros is we get to know the characters better before they go off on their journey. I’m just worried because we live in a world that’s dominated by distraction.
Just last night, I was watching an episode of HBO’s, “Succession,” which at one point I paused because I had to answer an e-mail, which, after the e-mail, I remembered I still had to finish an episode of Million Dollar Listing on Itunes, which, after making dinner, I decided to pause so I could watch the first episode of the NFL’s, “Hard Knocks” on Youtube. At no point did I plan any of this. Each change resulted from a distraction. And I think this is the way a lot of people source their entertainment. If you’re not entertaining me, I have other options.
And the thing is, once Cop Cam gets to the twist, it’s unstoppable. It’s an almost perfect script. I was riveted from page 42 to 92. But we’ll get back to that opening in a minute. For those who haven’t had time to read Cop Cam, here’s a quick breakdown of the plot.
MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW!
40-something Sgt. Angel Castillo is ready to retire. His wife is pregnant and it’s a much better game plan to have a kid when you’re not putting your life on the line every day than when you are. So Angel’s got one day left on the job. He suits up and makes sure his glitchy cop cam is working.
It’s an eventful day. Castillo wrestles down a perp, and while putting him in the squad car, the perp spits on him. Castillo reacts, punching him. Unfortunately, someone records the incident on their phone and uploads it to Youtube. Very quickly, “Crazed Cop Punches Man in Handcuffs” goes viral. Not a big deal though. This is par for the course for a cop.
Castillo is then assigned to take down a drug car. Standard bust. Not supposed to be a big deal. He and his partner, Griffin, stop a van but it looks like they may have stopped the wrong car. There are three passengers in their twenties. The driver, Clay, is a white guy. Marcella is in shotgun and looks terrified. And Rico is in the backseat, looking even worse than Marcella.
Castillo’s assessment is that they’re just kids and starts to ask basic questions. Comfortable that this will be an uneventful stop, he takes his guard down. And that’s when everything goes wrong. As Castillo is talking to Clay outside, gunshots fire out the back of the van window. Castillo and Griffin take cover but they’ve got the jump on them. Seconds later Marcella comes over, puts a gun in Castillo’s face, and just like that – BAM – OUR MAIN CHARACTER IS DEAD.
Marcella is freaking out. She’s now a cop killer. Clay is terrified. Rico is yelling. All the while, Castillo’s cop cam is blurting out that backup is coming. Rico freaks and says to grab the thing. Marcella rips the cop cam out and the three run back to the truck and off they go. We’re now watching them through the cop cam. Marcella calls her uncle, tells him the bad news and asks what to do. He tells her to meet a point man at the highway stop up ahead. He also tells her what they need to do to Clay. And so – BAM BAM – Clay’s dead too. They cover his body with a blanket. Poor Clay. Just trying to get a head start on that student debt.
Marcella and Rico pull up to the truck stop to wait for the point man, but are horrified when a rent-a-cop, Winston, approaches them. They think they’re toast. But Winston is just an admirer of cars who likes to chat. And chat he does, blah blah blah, riffing about whatever comes to mind. Marcella and Rico exchange glances. Can you believe this? After Winston leaves and the two are trying to decide what to do, they see Winston coming back with another cop. And he’s pointing at them. Time to get out of here!
But before they can go, County Cop puts a bullet in Rico, who dies. Marcella speeds away but County Cop is on the highway behind her almost immediately. As he gets closer and closer, out of nowhere, he gets CLIPPED from behind by a truck, and his car goes zig-zagging off into a ditch. It’s their contact, Cartel Cowboy, who pulls up even with her and tells her to pull over. She does, reluctantly.
Cartel Cowboy says they have to move, get Clay’s body transferred. She helps him out, and as soon as they’re finished, he raises a gun, shoots Marcella in the eye. We’re with Cartel Cowboy now. Or, at least, that’s what we think. County Cop has emerged from his car crash and he’s ready to rock. He’s got the drop on Cartel Cowboy and shoots him dead. County Cop seems to be after one thing. He leans into the car – there it is: the cop cam! He grabs it and now County Cop becomes our POV.
I could keep going but I’d like to save some of the surprises for the script itself. You get the picture, though. The real main character is the cop cam itself, or, if you want to be specific, us. And it’s the uncertainty of where we’re going to end up next that makes this script so exciting.
There’s a lot to get to here and I don’t know where to start so I’ll start with the title page. I love that Jason puts “Written by Lieutenant Jason Gruich, Biloxi P.D.” It immediately lets us know that everything we’re about to see is based in real life police rules. A lot of times when you’re reading, something will happen that seems unbelievable, and often, because writers are the kings of making stuff up, we assume that you made it up. But when you know you have a real lieutenant writing a police script, you know that’s how it would go down.
With that said, I did have some issues with the first 40 pages. I didn’t feel like enough was happening plot-wise. Which is okay if you’re dramatizing scenes so that they’re entertaining. But most of those first 40 pages was exposition and set-up. If this was a ten page challenge script? I may not have continued. It would’ve been right on the bubble. With that said, Jason counteracts with a very vertical writing style. I don’t remember any description chunk lasting more than 2 lines. And there’s a ton of dialogue. So even though the story isn’t moving at a pace I’d like, he makes it really easy to get through it.
The strange thing about writing, though, is that sometimes a negative can become a positive. Here I am, reading through this with a very neutral eye. I’m staying with it, but I’m not fully engaged. And then, OUT OF NOWHERE, comes one of the best scenes I’ve read all year. The level of tension that builds during Castillo’s stop of the van is incredible. It’s a great scene. And I’m not sure it would’ve hit me as hard if the story was operating at a more entertaining clip. It was almost as if we were lured into that same sense of “everything is okay” that Castillo was when he put his guard down.
And then Castillo is killed and it’s like WHOA! This writer just pulled a Psycho. And it worked! Because one of the reasons Psycho is the classic that it is, is that it doesn’t just kill off its main character after 40 minutes. It makes you sympathize with the character who killed them, which is really hard to do. And that’s exactly what happened here. When we switched to Marcella, I was scared for her. This poor girl is in over her head and we’re hoping she can find a way out.
And for Jason to then kill off Marcella too?????? I was gobsmacked. I was in that space that every reader dreams of being in: “I don’t have any idea where this is going but I need to find out!” A long-time moviegoer only gets that experience three or four times a year. And somehow, Jason pulled it off. Usually, when your script is dependent on shock value, the story doesn’t live up to all the shock. But this story comes together quite nicely at the end. I was surprised.
Now.
It’s time for my main gripe and my call to Scriptshadow readers to help me out with this. This movie is dependent on the Cop Cam POV changes being organic and believable. And I had a few issues there. For starters, I wasn’t sure why Marcella would take the cop cam. My thinking would be that it could be traced. Isn’t that what all criminals are worried about? And this feels like the most traceable thing you could grab. So that’s my first request. Can someone come up with a reason why she would take the cam.
Next up, was it just me, or were there times in this script where you didn’t know exactly what you were looking at because you weren’t clear where the cop cam was? There were several times where I thought we may have taken an omniscient point of view, not unlike a master shot, until it was time to go back into the cop cam again. If you felt this, how would Jason write it so that it was clear where we were at all times? That’s critical when reading this because a producer is going to need to know where the camera is at all times to know if the gimmick works.
The next time I had trouble was when County Cop grabbed the cop cam and put it on his mirror. I suppose he’s picking up the camera for someone else so, even though we don’t know that yet, it makes sense in retrospect. However, why would he put it on his mirror? It seems a little too perfect. And then, the rest of the way through, I found myself wondering here and there, “Where is the camera?” If you had this same issue, tell us in the comments and explain why you think that was. Then, let’s try to fix it. How do we organically hand off this camera every time?
One last thought. A few of you mentioned cop cam movies in development. Can you provide more info? Because even if they are, I would be willing to bet my retirement fund that this script is better than whatever they have. So if someone were to pick this up, they’d easily have the best cop cam script in town.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: This is basically the PERFECT SPEC. This is EXACTLY what you want to do with a spec script. It’s got a little gimmick to it. It takes place all in one day. The writing is very sparse. It’s 92 pages. If there was a class in writing the kind of spec that gets noticed the most, this script would be the ideal example. It stacks all the odds in its favor.
What I learned 2: It’s really good to have a script where people have to warn other people of spoilers. “Beware of spoilers” indicates that interesting enough things happen in the script that people are actually warning other people to avoid those things if they want the experience to be fresh. It’s not that every script needs to be a “Beware of spoilers” script to be good. But it definitely implies that a fun experience is ahead. Think about it. When someone says to you, “You need to watch One Man Cargo. Don’t let anybody spoil it for you ahead of time though!” Of course you’re going to go and watch One Man Cargo as soon as possible.
Note about the comments: I didn’t want to lose some of the script reactions from the earlier thread so I’m combining this post with the last one. If you want to see the latest comments, you can use the Disqus drop-down menu below to sort by “Newest.”
