After a very touch and go preview Thursday, The Black Phone 2 led the weekend box office with 26 million bucks. Once again, horror is ruling the land. It’s so satiating for the masses these days that they’re even showing up for the limping weakened sequels.
For me, I can’t watch a sequel to anything that was clearly meant to be one movie. I read the original short story for The Black Phone and it was unapologetically a singular idea. It’s like when they came out with a second season to 13 Reasons Why on Netflix. That first season was such a singular story, it made zero sense to continue on and yet they tried. The whole time, you’re sitting there saying, “Why are we even here anymore??”
A story needs to have a purpose, and the stronger the purpose, the better the story. That purpose is tied to what’s unresolved. If the central unresolved question is a compelling one, people will watch. So, whatever story you’re writing, ask yourself, “What is unresolved? And how compelling is it?” If you have strong answers to those questions, you’ll be in business.
As we were talking about the other day, this has not been a good time for indie movies slash Oscar hopefuls. Derek Cianfrance’s Roofman is tumbling off the box office tiles with 15 million dollars over two weeks. I’ve never understood this guy’s films. They’re all weird. They have no marketable elements whatsoever. I saw billboards with Channing Tatum with a toy bear on his shoulders and I just felt sorry for everyone involved in that film cause who the hell understands what this movie is about looking at that billboard?
By the way, this is why studios hate working with writer-directors. Cause they’re stuck trying to market their dumb movie ideas. The movie is called Roofman. The main character walks around with a stuffed bear on his shoulders. And I think the story takes place in a Walmart. How do any of those elements come together in a cohesive way??
Poor After The Hunt is in free fall. It’s just too adult a premise and, as pointed out on Saturday, way too “arthouse” looking. It seems to want to promote how much smarter it is than you, which isn’t very inviting. Nor is the main character inviting. So… not a lot to pull people in there. I still love the script and the movie, though. Check it out once it gets to streaming. You might be surprised.
The Smashing Machine should be called The Crashing Machine, as it’s crashing and burning right in front of our eyes. It’s another film that looks extremely inaccessible. I’m told that the story of this fighter is incredible. All I see is The Rock looking really sad and that’s enough to keep me far away from this movie.
Warner Brothers continues to do everything in its power to make you think One Battle After Another is a good movie. It made 4 million bucks this weekend. People like to point out that it’s made 100 million overseas. But Leo’s movies always make something overseas ever since he became a global phenomenon with Titanic. I have no doubt that every single one of those ticket purchasers has buyer’s remorse. The film is projected to lose a hundred million bucks. It’s just a disaster of a project, even if they’ve got the best marketing team in town trying to convince you otherwise.
I’m not giving up on indie movies, though! I’m seeing Bugonia this weekend! I think they said you have to shave your head to get in. Hey man, whatever it takes! I’m there for the weirdness!
Marty Supreme is still coming out. That one’s a big curiosity because it’s the first solo film from Josh Safdie, one half of the uber-talented Safdie Bros. Ben Safdie is the one who directed The Smashing Machine. So, we’ll see how this Kane vs. Abel story climaxes.
I was going to see Good Fortune over the weekend but some things got in the way. I’ll see it at the end of the week instead. There has been a lot of talk over the years about how the feature comedy film died at the box office. The best explanation I’ve gotten is that people can get their laughs from other places like Youtube and TikTok.
But the real issues run much deeper. The key year seems to be 2008. There were a lot of successful comedies that came out that year (or right before or right after). Step Brothers, Pineapple Express, Superbad, Tropic Thunder, The Hangover, I Love You Man, Knocked Up, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was a comedy smorgasbord.
And then… and then everything fell apart. There was the financial crash, which completely changed how studios did business. They decided that first downs weren’t flashy enough. They wanted to air-it-out with 70 yard touchdowns. They found the solution in superhero movies. To make matters worse, streamers were born. Comedy’s most bankable star, Adam Sandler, went to Netflix. Every comedian and their dog got a 1 hour streaming standup special.
And let’s not forget the studios insisting that the future of comedy was female. Honestly, while I think everything here had some influence on the death of feature comedies, that one really drove the stake into the chest. Because young males are the biggest audience for comedy. And the studios abandoned them. For, what seemed like, a political statement. So it wasn’t just not giving the audience what they wanted. It was telling the audience that they better get on board with what their *new* idea of comedy was, or get lost. And I think that just pissed the key comedy demographic off.
Flash forward to Good Fortune, which is trying to revitalize the genre. It’s got one of the only bankable comedy stars still out there, Seth Rogen. And it’s got Keanu and Aziz Ansari. I don’t think I’m out of turn in saying that’s a great cast. So, why didn’t anybody go see them?
My guess is that it’s a touchy-feely comedy premise. You watch that trailer and you see this movie that wants to make you learn something about humanity just as much as it wants to make you laugh. The screenwriter inside of me loves that. But the producer inside of me says, “bad move.”
These days, if you want to break out with a comedy, it’s got to be a full-on laugh fest, like Borat or Airplane. Or a premise with a little more teeth, like The Hangover. When audiences have already told you that they’re reluctant to come see a comedy film, you don’t get them back by giving them a “kind of” comedy film. You gotta slap them upside the head with comedy!
Then of course, you’ve got the premise, which feels dated. I always say, if you’ve come up with a movie premise that could’ve been used in a movie 100 years ago, it’s probably not the freshest premise. Now, every once in a while, something old feels new again because of a shift in society or new technology, like You’ve Got Mail updating The Shop Around The Corner. But I always get nervous when you’re banking on a 100 year old idea. Especially in comedy where you’re trying to get the kids into the theater.
I suppose the argument here would be, they’re not trying for the young audience. They’re trying to get the adults who used to go to comedies back in the theaters. So they’re providing a slightly more “thoughtful” concept to lure those adults in. But it didn’t work. They’re going to get my money, though! I think this looks fun and the cast is irresistible.
On the TV front, I’m currently working my way through Task, on HBO Max. It’s about this older alcoholic FBI agent who’s given this young task force to help take down some nasty drug dealers in Pennsylvania. There’s just enough there to keep me watching but it’s not a slam dunk by any means.
The show moves along slower than a clock in a school classroom but I’ll give it this. It’s one of the more intricately plotted TV shows I’ve ever seen. They’re setting up three large groups of characters (the task force, a small family of criminals, and a biker gang) and each one has a highly intricate backstory that also needs to be set up.
The show comes from Brad Ingelsby, who created The Mare of Easttown, which was great. I get the feeling that this is his opus. Cause it’s so damn intricate. For those of you who have been with the site for a long time, you know that Ingelsby was once a writer just like you, writing up scripts trying to get noticed. Making The Black List every once in a while. So it’s a great reminder of how far you can get if you stick to it.
If Task doesn’t kick into the crazy soon, I may have to ditch it for The Hunting Wives. I keep hearing about how crazy that show is. And I will not apologize for being a fly drawn to light. Or is it a fly drawn to shit? I guess I’ll find out!
