Did Christopher Nolan hoodwink Hollywood?
Can you really call it a successful Oscars if no one got slapped?
I got thoughts.
I got opinions.
But I’m not going to be hating today. I’m going to be celebre-hating.
Oppenheimer won the two biggies – Best Picture and Best Director. But it says a lot that it didn’t win Best Screenplay.
Why is that?
Because the screenplay was baaaaaaaad. It was bad, folks. It was. Nobody really knows who Oppenheimer was after that movie. Nobody understands why there were 45 minutes of movie left after the film was over. The cutting back and forth between all the time-periods was clumsy and disjointed.
But it shows just how amazing of a director Nolan is in that he was able to overcome that to win Best Picture and Best Director. And I support those wins. There was no movie this year that looked better, that felt more authentic, that was better constructed, that had a better cast of actors, that felt like a moviegoing experience, than Oppenheimer.
But, dude, Nolan. Get yourself a screenwriter. If you do that, you could literally become the greatest filmmaker ever. Right now you are limiting yourself with your weak screenwriting.
Okay, onto the screenwriting categories.
Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
American Fiction (Written for the screen by Cord Jefferson)
Barbie (Written by Greta Gerwig & Noah Baumbach)
Oppenheimer (Written for the screen by Christopher Nolan)
Poor Things (Screenplay by Tony McNamara)
The Zone of Interest (Written by Jonathan Glazer)
Winner: American Fiction
I can’t count how many people have recommended this movie to me so I just started watching it last night and, WHOA! A little heads up there on the bummer of a first act climax would’ve been nice! The trailer promised a fun funny movie! Here they are killing people off. Sheesh. But I will continue watching tonight. I loved the opening scene in the classroom. It brilliantly went after the ridiculousness of woke culture. I’m assuming it’s going to keep doing that and, if so, expect a positive review.
Personally, I would’ve voted for either Barbie or Poor Things. You can’t leave 2023 without giving Barbie a major award. It’s ridiculous. The movie deserved it. Either for the directing, which was amazing, or the writing, where they took way more creative risks than they’re getting credit for.
The thing I loved about Poor Things is that it not only used the most basic story template of them all – The Hero’s Journey – but it took a lot of risks as well. The father character was such a weirdo and unlike any other character in 2023. I would say it lost because nobody saw it. But nobody saw American Fiction either and it still won. I suspect Poor Things was too weird to catch on with people.
Best Writing (Original Screenplay)
Anatomy of a Fall (Screenplay by Justine Triet and Arthur Harari)
The Holdovers (Written by David Hemingson)
Maestro (Written by Bradley Cooper & Josh Singer)
May December (Screenplay by Samy Burch; Story by Samy Burch & Alex Mechanik)
Past Lives (Written by Celine Song)
Winner: Anatomy of a Fall
The Original Screenplay category is always a bit of wildcard. That’s because most of the “serious” movies that Hollywood makes are adapted from something. If Hollywood makes an original movie with an original screenplay, it’s usually a genre film, like The Beekeeper. And we know they’re never going to celebrate one of those scripts at the Oscars. So we get this group of oddball contestants that always feels lacking on some level.
With all that said, I’m surprised that Anatomy of a Fall took down The Holdovers. The Holdovers was the favorite. It’s always a bit of a shock when a script that wasn’t even written in the English language wins Best Screenplay at the Oscars.
To be honest, I don’t know why this script won. Even those few people who saw and enjoyed the movie, if you asked them what they liked best about it, I’d be shocked if 1 out of 100 said, “the screenplay.” Most people would pick Sandra Huller’s performance.
I guess the script does keep you guessing. But any script that has a 100-page second act can f right off. I’m sorry, but seriously. Show some focus with what you’re trying to do, for God’s sakes. A 100-page second act screams, “I don’t know where I’m going so I’m just going to include it all.” And that’s how it felt. It wandered.
I still haven’t seen The Holdovers even though I’m one of the few people who has Peacock’s streaming service and therefore the film is free for me. As you know, I didn’t like an early draft of the script and even though you guys have told me that the shooting draft is vastly improved, it’s always hard for me to drum up motivation to see a movie where I disliked the script. Every once in a long while, the movie turns out great (Three Billboards Outside Ebbings Mississippi). But it’s usually impossible for the movie to be salvaged.
I’m sure I’ll check it out at some point.
As for the other major categories, I’m ecstatic that Cillian Murphy won over the thirstiest Oscar thirster in history, Bradley Cooper. If he would’ve won for that boring self-important piece of crap, I would’ve chosen violence.
I’m ecstatic that Emma Stone won for Poor Things. I thought she was amazing in that film. She had the single most interesting main character I’ve seen in a movie in over a decade. She holds nothing back in the movie. She’s funny. She’s weird. And I just respect any artist who takes a huge swing.
The one category where the Academy got it dead wrong was supporting actor. I can’t recite a single line Robert Downey Jr. said in Oppenheimer. I can’t recall a single memorable moment he was involved in. Of every actor who was in that film, I would say he was the 14th or 15th most memorable.
Ryan Gosling deserved to win this award. This speaks to a bigger question, possibly even a conspiracy. From the start of Awards season, the Oscars wanted nothing to do with Barbie. And I don’t know why. Barbie is not Transformers. It’s not mindless entertainment. It actually made you think. It’s a movie made by women celebrating women in an industry desperately trying to promote women.
And yet crickets for Barbie at the Oscars. I’m baffled by it. Does anybody have any theories as to why they’d turn their backs on the movie that’s most representative of what they’re trying to do? Is Margot Robbie secretly Scott Rudin behind the scenes?? What’s going on here! Tell me!
What are your 2024 Oscar hot takes?
Did anyone rob the Academy? Who didn’t win but should’ve? And, of course, I expect lots of comments telling me I’m wrong about Oppenheimer so I’m going to preemptively respond to them here. YOU’RE WRONG. It was a junk screenplay.
Happy Monday!
