If you keep track of the things I loathe here on the site, this is your opportunity to say, “See Carson, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Let’s start with Sully, which just finished number 1 at the box office for the second week in a row. As I’ve stated on multiple occasions, the miracle landing on the Hudson River is not a movie. Nobody on the flight so much as twisted their ankle. And the big moment only lasts a few minutes. What do you do with the other 107 minutes?
Apparently, it’s a moot point, as people clearly want to see that Hanksy splash-tastic miracle! Excusing the fact that the film had weak ass competition (a bizarrely conceived Blair Witch reboot and Bridget Jones having a baby at 57) how does a movie without a story keep raking in the dolla bills? I don’t know because I haven’t seen it yet. But I did hear that they turned the focal point – the crash – into six separate crashes (dreams of what might’ve gone wrong). Whoever that screenwriter is, I’m giving them an honorary Oscar, cause that was some smart fucking shit. When you only have one good thing in your story, clone it!
But yeah, any of you seen this? Is there a screenplay? I’m still curious.
Moving on to the Emmys (which I coulda swore happened last weekend) we have a couple of big wins by shows that I hated on in the past. The first is Game of Thrones winning a writing award. A WRITING AWARD! This is a show that spends half its time in gardens and the other half killing off big characters for social media purposes. There was a purer time when Dargareus was a queen with principles. Now it’s all about them Snapchat likes. Look, I have no problem with Game of Thrones winning directing or general show awards. It’s a beautifully produced show. But writing??? C’mon. Half the show is an exposition dump.
The other big winner of the night was The People vs. O.J. Simpson, which if you remember my initial script pilot review, I chastised for being old-hat and stuck in “who the hell cares anymore” land. The writing was fine. I never thought that was the problem. It was the subject matter. We already know this. O.J. did it. The glove. Marcia Clarke. Blah blah blah. How many times do I need to be reminded in my life? They sure put some money behind that show though. It was a top-level production. But I can’t believe it’s gotten as much attention as it has. I tend to judge shows by “Has anyone I know seen it?” And nobody I know watches the thing. I guess the Emmy voters did though. That’s all that matters.
Okay you old curmudgeon, Carson. Is there ANYTHING about the Emmys that you liked? I’m glad you asked. I was thrilled when Alan Yang and Aziz Ansari won for outstanding writing in a comedy series (“Master of None”). I thought that show was great, like a lot of what Netflix does. It goes to show how much a writer can mature as well. Alan Yang wrote a spec that broke him into the business a long time ago called “Gay Dude” that was average and sophomoric and safe. The writing here is so much better in every way and it’s a testament to committing to always pushing yourself – never stop learning! Oh, and I think the reason we didn’t see more Netflix wins is because Hollywood is terrified of them.
I’d like to end today with a huge endorsement for Hunt for the Wilderpeople. They made it available on Itunes this week (for an exclusive engagement?). It’s directed by Taika Waititi, who made the hilarious vampire found footage mockumentary, “What We Do In The Shadows.” What’s interesting is that Wilderpeople got Taika the job to direct Marvel’s next film, Thor 3, which is said to be an intergalactic buddy road trip flick between Thor and the Hulk. You’d think these movies couldn’t be more different. But actually, Wilderpeople has its own quirky “buddy road trip” pairing in its star character (a chubby mischievous boy) and his foster father (who never wanted the boy in the first place).
This is such a great lesson for young writers and directors. What these big studio heads want is they want to see that you can create emotionally compelling relationships. They’ve got plenty of people for special effects. What they don’t have is someone who knows how to make an audience feel something. You definitely feel something between this boy and his foster father and they believe Taika can replicate that in a Marvel movie.
I’ll finish this off by saying, why the hell did anyone think it was a good idea to make an Edward Snowden movie? The days of making movies about these people are over. You want to do Snowden and those like him, you do 6-10 episode docs on HBO or Netflix. Then again, I don’t think Oliver Stone knows what Netflix is.
