Guys, I got nothing. I’m recovering from a Super Bowl food coma. But that’s not the worst of it. I’m also suffering from a The Last Witch Hunter coma. I unfortunately rented the film, and I’m more hungover from watching 30 minutes of that thing than my first Freshman year of college party, where I drank half a bottle of whiskey.
The thing that kept going through my head while watching this movie was, “Writers actually got paid to write this.” It flies in the face of everything I teach on this site – that you have to write something great to get noticed, to break through. Well, all those writers have to do is point to this movie and say, “No you don’t.” I mean I thought we’d reached the point where when someone writes the old “Bugs fly out of the mouth” scene, that that spec or those writers were automatically suspended by the WGA for the next five years. Or, even if you managed to survive that, that lines like, “You’re too late Witch Hunter,” would be the nail in the coffin. I guess not. At least it has, “You Know Nothing John Snow” Girl in it.
On a more upbeat note, I finally watched Spotlight. You may remember me hating this script. And while the movie was better than the screenplay, I’m still shocked by it. This is the only film I’ve seen since I can’t remember when where zero attempt – absolutely NOTHING – was put into character development.
We didn’t get to know the characters’ backstory, their personal lives, their relationships with one another. It was the oddest thing I’ve ever seen, particularly for an awards-seeking film. And after doing some research, it seems like this was the plan. They wanted the focus purely on the investigation as they felt if they dug into the characters, it would distract from that aspect. I still don’t know what to make of it because the material they’re working with is so good that you’re still invested. But if they’d put 1% effort into building these characters up, this would’ve been a much better movie.
Finally, the 2016 movie season officially starts next weekend! Can you believe it? Movies worth seeing in early February!! We get Deadpool, which looks awesome, AND Zoolander 2, which you know is going to have some big laughs. As someone who hasn’t had a reason to go to the theater since Force Awakens, I welcome this development. Are you team Deadpool or Team Zoolander?
And let me just throw this out there before I go. How come everyone in Deadpool looks so good, and yet everyone in X-Men (its sister-film, which just came out with a new trailer) looks so bad? Is it just me or is the make-up person who does X-Men the worst make-up person in Hollywood? Just the color of that blue Jennifer Lawrence character makes me nauseous. And all the other costumes look sooooooooo cheesy. Am I the only person who thinks this?
Finally finally, what was your favorite Super Bowl trailer??? Which of those films do you want to see the most? Civil War and Bourne for my money.
