Genre: Sci-fi/Fantasy
Premise: A down-on-her-luck maid gets kidnapped by aliens, only to discover that she’s the heir to an intergalactic fortune that includes earth itself.
About: Jupiter Ascending was supposed to be the Wachowski Siblings big comeback. Once considered the heir to movie geekdom, replacing an aging George Lucas, the duo have struggled to find a single hit since their Matrix franchise ended in 2003. Their efforts have included the bouncy curiosity that was Speed Racer, the ambitious art-house flavored Cloud Atlas, and now Jupiter Ascending, which made 19 million dollars this weekend after having a reported budget of 175 million. You could argue that this is the Wachowski’s 5th bad film in a row, as the two Matrix sequels were considered by many to be disappointments. It’s unclear where the Wachowskis go from here. They’re still a name, but “Jupiter” solidified that they’re not in tune with the public anymore. They have Sense 8 coming out on Netflix, which I’m sure will look amazing. But I read that pilot and it’s plagued with the same issues that have destroyed all of their movies, including Jupiter.
Writers: Andy and Lana Wachowski
Details: 127 minutes
No matter how misguided the Wachowskis get, I still root for them. The Matrix changed the way I looked at movies. I thought, like many others, that the Wachowskis were going to be responsible for nine or ten classic science fiction films by the time it was all said and done.
But it just goes to show how quickly fortunes can change in this business. M. Night was being trumpeted as the next Spielberg during this time as well. And we’ve seen how both careers have panned out. Although I give the Wachowskis credit. They at least take chances. I thought Cloud Atlas was a mess, but it was like Picasso painting after a heavy night of drinking. It was never going to be a true Picasso. But you still needed to see the end product.
Here’s the funny thing. The issue that has ruined all of the Wachowskis’ films since The Matrix is the exact same. And if they fixed just this ONE THING, they’d still be churning out classics. I don’t know if it’s ignorance or bullheadedness that convinces them to keep writing this way. But I’m hoping at some point they figure it out. Because they can still be great.
So, a quick plot breakdown of Jupiter Ascending… A young Russian maid, Jupiter (Mila Kunis), is attacked by some aliens who want her dead for reasons unknown. Enter Caine (Channing Tatum) a pointy-eared quarter wolf, quarter eagle-creature, quarter bounty hunter type person guy, who rescues Jupiter just before she’s assassinated.
Caine informs Jupiter that she’s really a member of one of the richest families in the universe. Enter some bounty hunters who steal Jupiter from Caine and bring her across the universe to her true family, where she’s asked to marry some dude who will, in turn, protect earthlings from any future alien attacks.
Turns out the dude – big surprise – was going to kill Jupiter right after he married her, so that he could inherit the earth and all its juicy human occupants. Caine swoops back into the picture to save Jupiter again (there’s a lot of saving in this movie) just as some galaxy cloud starts collapsing and destroying the rich family’s city. Caine and Jupiter escape just in time, fall in love, and Caine earns his wings for saving royalty or something.
The above is an EXTREMELY simplified version of the story. And the reason I bring that up is because this is why Jupiter Ascending doesn’t work. It’s the same reason that the Matrix sequels didn’t work, which is the same reason that Cloud Atlas didn’t work, which is the same reason Sense 8 (their Netflix TV show) didn’t work.
The Wachowskis actually make one of the most amateur mistakes a screenwriter can make. They over-complicate their narratives. How are the Wachowskis making a beginner-level mistake when they’ve been writing for 25 years? Simple. EGO. They believe they’re good enough to overcome it. And they’re not. They’ve proven this time and time again now.
Here’s the funny thing. If they stopped at over-plotting, their movies would at least be decent. Audiences would leave them and nod to each other – “That wasn’t bad.” But the Wachowskis aren’t satisfied unless they suck every ounce of entertainment marrow from their films – so they add ELABORATE MYTHOLOGY to the mix as well.
Do you know what you get when you add elaborate mythology to over-complication? You get Dune. You get disaster. Because it doesn’t matter how talented you are. If every scene is a fight just to make sense of where we are in the story, nobody’s enjoying themselves.
I’d estimate that 75% of Jupiter Ascending is either setting up plot or explaining mythology. This is the hidden price you pay when you write an exposition-heavy screenplay (lots of plot, lots of backstory, lots of mythology). Even if you pull off a seamless steady feed of information that doesn’t scream “Exposition Time!” to the audience, you’re still paying the price on the back end.
That’s because for every scene needed for exposition, you have one less scene to tell your actual story.
In an ideal world, of course, you’d do both. Move story and exposition along concurrently. But that becomes impossible if you’ve saddled yourself with mountains of exposition to convey in the first place.
You can see this happen all over Jupiter Ascending. For example, the Bad Guy asks Jupiter if she’ll marry him. And then FOUR SCENES LATER they’re having the wedding. How can a wedding feel important to an audience if we only just heard about it ten pages ago? It can’t.
How did the writers get themselves into such a predicament? Well, they needed roughly 8 exposition-only scenes throughout the script to set up the information required to make a proposal make sense. A scene to explain why Jupiter is an alien if she was born on earth. Three scenes to explain who this weird King of the Universe family was. And four more scenes of blah blah blah blah blah. If you’re running on the ratio of 2 exposition scenes to set up every 1 scene of story, your script is probably in trouble.
Then there’s this bizarre scene mid-way through the story where Jupiter comes on to Caine in a jail cell. Up until that point, neither Jupiter nor Caine had shown any interest in one another. Now all of a sudden she wants him?? Again, this scene was forced in there awkwardly because there wasn’t anywhere earlier in the screenplay to build the chemistry up. Why? Because they were using it for exposition! Because they plagued themselves with an overly-complicated story in the first place.
Let me leave this review with some advice for any writers of sci-fi – particularly those who are going for something with a giant scope like Jupiter Ascending.
Cut out EVERY SINGLE SHRED of fat you see.
These information-heavy screenplays are always going to be a challenge for readers. So you want to make things as easy as possible for them. As a writer, you have a tendency to be precious about the details. You want that reader to know that you know EVERYTHING about your universe. But if it doesn’t affect the story, ditch it. The reader will thank you.
There’s this scene early on in Jupiter Ascending where an entire page of screenplay is dedicated to WHAT Caine is (he’s some sort of “lycan” werewolf thing with wings). That information was irrelevant compared to WHO Caine was. What was his job? Why was he after Jupiter? THAT was the relevant information we needed in order to enjoy the story. Yet because we were being confused by this pointless Lycan Werewolf crap, we were never clear on what Caine did. And it was all because the Wachowskis wanted to prove to us how much thought they’d put into Caine’s backstory. WHO CARES! Do you realize how much freaking information you’ve thrown at us so far??? Don’t continue to give us meaningless info. Just tell us what we need to in order to enjoy the story and that’s it. Nobody told me Yoda’s backstory when we met him and I was fine.
But really, the bigger takeaway here, is to avoid writing a movie where you have to spend 75% of the running time explaining things. The more explaining you’re doing, the less the reader can sit back and enjoy themselves. Some exposition is always going to be necessary. But never underestimate the power of simplicity in storytelling.
[ ] what the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: There are two kinds of exposition. The first is FUN exposition. This is exposition that, when revealed, is interesting and cool and imaginative. Learning about The Matrix and how it worked and what it allowed its occupants to do – THAT WAS FUN! Then there’s WORK exposition. This is exposition that requires a lot of WORK from the reader, as they’ll have to suffer through a lot of boring details and logistics in order to enjoy other parts of the story. Readers will suffer through work exposition for a little while. But if it keeps coming, they will eventually lose interest and tune out. This is the very definition of the exposition that plagues Jupiter Ascending. Always pick a story that allows you to give more fun exposition than work exposition if possible.
