Every Saturday we give YOU the Scriptshadow reader the opportunity to put your script up for critique against four other writers. If your screenplay gets the most votes, you get a review the following Friday. If that review is positive, you just might get some industry attention, as past Scriptshadow Amateur Fridayers can attest. With that in mind, let me remind the amazing Scriptshadow faithful that we tend to get less entries after weekends when the commenters are too harsh. I think when you cut writers down too hard, it scares potential submitters away.
Since I know you want to read the best scripts possible, let’s try and be critical but also supportive. Nobody here is a pro yet, and many are just starting out. So they don’t know everything. Help them out by critiquing their script with a positive slant. Less “Your characters bored me to death” and more “You should look into how to arc your characters.” I just want to bring the best scripts to you all, and I think that’s the best way. For those new to this exercise, read as much as you can from every script and vote for your favorite in the comment section. Enjoy, everyone! OH! And one more thing. I’m going to try something new on Sundays. So tune in tomorrow for what may be a new weekly post. Look at me, I’m such a tease.
Title: REMOTE
Genre: sci-fi/thriller
Logline: A freak winter storm creates a rip in time, giving a desperate, grieving man one final chance to save his recently deceased wife and daughter, but only if he can prevent a young woman from being brutally murdered.
Why You Should Read: I have submitted my short films to you in the past, “The Last Halloween” and “Remote” (which this submission is based on) and figured it was time to share a screenplay with you and my fellow Script Shadow readers. My script is a feature length expansion of my critically acclaimed and award winning short film “Remote”. Who hasn’t wanted to hit the “reset” button after a bad decision or tragic event – to turn back the clock and fix a mistake? To right a wrong? Remote explores this idea in the context of a psychological thriller, with a dash of speculative fiction, in what I believe to be a fresh take on the idea of second chances. It takes two of the most familiar themes in genre filmmaking – namely, serial killers and time travel – and combines them in a visually striking way, contrasting modern digital media and old-school analog technology. At it’s core, Remote is a human drama that explores loss, grief and regret. But it is also a story about hope and redemption. With adrenaline-charged set pieces, my goal is to constantly keep the audience guessing and engaged, never quite sure what to expect, and always amazed by what comes next. — You can view the short film here.
Scriptshadow periodic reminder to center those title pages!
Title: My Companion’s Lair
Genre: Horror
Logline: A troubled young woman, still grieving the loss of her parents, fears losing her ailing best friend, then considers killing her, when a stronger candidate unwittingly presents herself.
Why You Should Read: My intention, in writing a horror story, was to remove several lame elements, common in most; namely: gore, jumps scares, and rampant teen sex, and replace them with rarities, such as: interesting characters, and a compelling story. — And, after two years and, roughly, a dozen drafts, I think I’ve ended up with a pretty darn solid horror story; one that satisfies the above criteria, and is, at least, “worth the read.” — But, enough out of me; accept this invitation, to “My Companion’s Lair,” and decide for yourself.
Title: The Source
Genre: Action, Fantasy
Logline: A young slacker is recruited into a secret war between a dangerous, centuries old magical force and the warriors fighting to save the world from it.
Why You Should Read: After writing a script at the start of this year, I was extremely fortunate to be helped by some very generous people in the industry and the circulation of that script permeated a phone call from the head of one of the biggest representation companies in LA, and an inquiry from the people of one of, well, The Avengers. Rather heartbreakingly, neither of these leads worked out. That script was about classical music and hookers. This one is my genre script. We’ll skip the moderate alcoholism and time I spent in the fetal position in between the two. I’ve been trying to write this script for two years and I think I might have finally cracked it. All things considered, that probably means I didn’t. I don’t have (m)any people to bounce ideas off of so hopefully you guys can help. And if I haven’t cracked it, well there’s always that spot on the floor in the corner of my bedroom. The tears have dried now.
Title: Dead Drunk & Naked
Genre: Action Thriller
Logline: A troubled state police officer teams with his cantankerous war veteran father when he tries to rescue his younger brothers, two muscle car street-rodders who have gotten in over their heads transporting marijuana for a team of ex Special Forces assassins.
Why You Should Read: Because it’s a polished draft in a classic genre, with strong characters, crisp dialogue, and set in a unique world. This is by definition a low concept genre exercise, and yet these types of movies seem to get made all the time, albeit straight to VOD and DVD, so I’m hopeful that an AF spotlight might help get this script in front of the right eyes. It’s gotten a little bit of love on the contest circuit (Page Semi Finals and two rounds at Austin), and I’m optimistic that many of the great SS Faithful will enjoy it and that it will rise to the top if given a spot on AOW.
Title: The Big Stink
Genre: Kids Animation
Logline: Times are changing in a small community of stinkbugs and resident Stew Stinker doesn’t fit in. After he’s exiled for being too stinky, Stew learns that being himself is the key to saving his tiny town from a group of Wasps sent to root them out.
Why You Should Read: My roommate and I moved to California 4 years ago and this script is all we have to show for it. This is literally our baby, and it’s unlike anything you’ve ever read. It has heart, comedy, action, and the cuteness factor that all successful animated kids movies have in common.
REALLY LIKE THIS WEEK! Some strong contenders. One is a writer who I’ve personally read and know is great. And Dead Drunk & Naked may have one of the most polished and professional loglines submitted to Amateur Offerings all year. This ought to be good.
