Black Swan meets Euphoria in today’s latest screenplay review!
Genre: Psychological Thiller
Premise: A young college student is forced to confront her family’s dark past when a mysterious stalker appears, derailing her life and sending her spiraling into a web of anxiety and paranoia.
About: Today’s writer, Chris Grillot, is a former crime journalist. “Bella” finished with 7 votes on last year’s Black List. It was purchased by the female-focused production company, Di Novi Pictures, who produced Little Women. Chris was born and raised in New Orleans.
Writer: Chris Grillot
Details: 99 pages
Selena Gomez for Maria?
There’s a subset of a sub-genre which I like to call, “The Obsessive.”
It’s when the main character has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder that controls their life.
One of the reasons this subset sub-genre works is because it creates compelling characters without you having to do much. We are inherently fascinated by obsessive behavior. We have a perverse desire to watch people attempt to achieve perfection.
The spiraling that results from that pursuit serves as the narrative engine for these scripts. They are “train-wreck” narratives, which means, as long as they’re competently written, the reader will want to read the whole thing to see the part where everything comes crashing down.
So, if you’re looking to write a script that both makes the Black List and is entertaining (these two things aren’t always mutually exclusive, unfortunately), writing one of these is a good way to go.
That doesn’t mean it’s automatic. Just like any script, you gotta throw enough things at the main character to keep the story spicy. And as I read today’s script, I wasn’t sure if it was ever going to get into spicy territory.
It had some of the Taco Bell mild hot sauce. Even some of the Del Taco medium hot sauce. But did we ever get a dose of Hot One’s “last dab?” Let’s find out.
19 year old Maria Perez has been a pageant girl all throughout her childhood. She’s got one of those helicopter moms who weighs her every morning at the same time. And if she’s even a pound off, it’s an extra hour of cardio that day.
In one week, Maria is participating in the Louisiana State University beauty pageant. Last year she finished in second place. So this year, there are no excuses. She HAS to win. This means eating 500 calories a day. It means lots of squats and treadmills. It means throwing up in the bathroom. Hey, this girl is committed, okay? Stop with the judgy eyes.
Things take a turn for the worse when Maria runs into an old friend, Kari. Kari and Maria used to hang out when they were kids and Maria doesn’t remember much about their friendship, only that she has a very bad feeling inside when Kari is around. And Kari starts being around a lot.
One night, after a long day of strict eating and exercise, Maria drives home, only for her steering and brakes to lock up. She crashes into a tree. Miraculously, she doesn’t suffer any major injuries. But she’s now convinced that someone is out to sabotage her pageant run. And she’s positive it’s this Kari girl.
There’s only one problem with that theory. Whenever she tells her friends that Kari is after her, they don’t know who Kari is. Maria will spot Kari at a party or something, yet when she points Kari out, Kari will always have slipped into another room by the time anybody looks. She’s like a UFO. You can never get a clear picture of her.
I think you all know where this is going. There’s a high probability that Kari doesn’t exist. But don’t tell Maria that. She’s gung-ho on this theory that Kari is trying to ruin her life. This obsession with her mysterious childhood friend extends all the way up to the pageant, where she finally has a showdown with her. Maria decides she’s going to make sure Kari can never bother her again.
Something I really liked about this script was the treatment of how Maria viewed herself. The entire movie, we’re not seeing the “real” Maria. We’re seeing the version of Maria that she sees. She sees cellulite. She sees ugly facial features. She sees every little pimple. She sees a monster.
A moment comes late in the script where her mother forces her to look at herself in the mirror. Really look at herself. And, in that moment, Maria sees herself for what she really looks like. For the first time ever. And she’s stunning.
I can see that moment playing really powerfully in theaters. The whole movie we’re dealing with, maybe, a less attractive actress. And then for the big mirror reveal, we basically see a supermodel.
It’s a really clever “show don’t tell” way of conveying the fallibility of how we view ourselves. We never see ourselves for who we really are. We just focus on the flaws. “Bella” did as good a job as you can in getting that message across.
The script also had one really strong set piece. There’s a frat party at the midpoint that has a couple of shocking moments in it. I always say that your script needs to have those big memorable moments. But it’s especially true in a script like this. Cause these scripts are basically saying, “We’re riding the edge here. We’re going to shock you.” So, if you don’t write that big shocking scene, we feel gypped. Bella gets that set piece scene right.
Where the script runs into questionable territory (spoilers ahead) is with the parental abuse subplot. When you go into parental sexual abuse, that’s a very deep and dark world. And you have to treat it just right, starting with creating a parent that we believe would do that. Because if the only reason for the parent doing such a thing is to shock the audience, we won’t believe it. And I was riding the line there of whether I believed the mother would do this or not.
Now, to the writer’s credit, he explores that in an interesting way. Basically, Kari and Maria’s mother are one and the same. Which allows the writer to skirt around some of the ickiness of that dynamic.
Still, I’m not sure I ever bought in, wholesale. Whenever you make big bold story choices, they have to be grounded in some sort of reality that we can believe in. Cause you’re going to have the reader asking, “Well, wait. Why is she abusive? Where is that coming from?” I don’t think the script ever answers that question. Which means the only reason she’s doing it is because the writer is trying to shock us.
This is a tricky one because it’s got a lot of good stuff in it. It’s got some iffy in it. But I’d say if you liked Black Swan or Euphoria, you’ll definitely like this. It’s built in that vein. Curious what you guys think.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: In a screenwriter’s attempts to keep the eyes moving down the page, they sometimes sacrifice clarity. And clarity is paramount. If we don’t know exactly what’s going on, we will guess. And if we guess, there’s a good chance we’re not reading the same story you’re writing. So always stay on top of your clarity. Here are a couple of action lines early on in the script. Maria was making out with her boyfriend, Dimo, in his truck. He got too handsy for her. She wanted to cool off. So she walked down to a nearby gas station to go to the bathroom. Here are the lines that follow
Track with Maria as she heads down the dark levee, through a clearing, lined by trees. Ahead, the gas station lights glow.
Maria quickly walks as if in a trance. Behind her, Dimo’s truck disappears from sight.
“Dimo’s truck disappears from sight.” What does mean? Does that mean that Dimo drove the truck away? Or does it mean that the truck simply disappeared behind a hill as she descended down it? I’m guess the latter? But I’m not sure. It’s up to the writer to be clearer about this. If Dimo drives away because he’s pissed off or something, that’s a different story beat that leads to a different scenario. So you want to be clear about these things.
