Genre: Drama/Comedy?
Premise: (from Black List) An undisciplined boy is sent to Florida for the summer with his grandparents, and the drive south changes him forever.
About: This script received 13 votes on the 2012 Black List. The writer, Austin Reynolds, hasn’t broken out since making the Black List that year. However, he did secure the writing gig for The Sandlot prequel.
Writer: Austin Reynolds
Details: 106 pages
I hope everyone was able to add at least 10 pounds to their frame this Thanksgiving, as well as a brand new 200 dollar PS4. I’m sad to say that I wasn’t quick enough on the draw and all $200 PS4s were gone before I could click that yellow ‘buy’ button. I DO have a theory about that. I don’t think those stores really have those super-low-price items. They advertise that they do. Which conveniently makes you aware of their store on Black Friday. You then go to the site (or store) on the day, find out they’re all “sold out” of that item, but oh yeah, as long as you’re there, why don’t you do the rest of your Black Friday shopping.
Then again, it may just be sour grapes.
Speaking of sour grapes, 15 year old Max Anders has had enough. During a high school test, he tells his teacher to fuck off, wanders out the front door, then proceeds to hurl a trash can through the principal’s car windshield. Max’s mother (who he refers to by her name, “Laura,” instead of “mom” – a choice that almost always guarantees I’m reading a first-time screenwriter) is barely able to talk Max out of an expulsion. However, he’s suspended for two weeks, after which he must appear in court to defend his actions.
When Max starts lounging around the house all day like he owns the place, Laura calls her ex-husband’s parents, who happen to be going on a road trip down to Florida, and asks them to please take Max with them. They’ll drive down to Florida and then, once they get there, send Max back on a plane.
Max resists, of course, and his grandfather, Thomas, isn’t that keen about the plan either. But Max’s grandmother, Carol, really wants to help Max out, and convinces her husband to give him a chance. Once on the road, Max begins causing trouble immediately (when a cop drives by, he holds up a sign that says, “Help! I’ve been kidnapped!”) but settles down some when he meets a pretty 17 year old girl named Megan, who happens to also be on a road trip with her parents down to Florida.
After continually running into each other at gas stations and renaissance fairs, the two families find themselves staying together at a resort in Virginia for a few days. Finally, Max can put the moves on Megan! But that plan is thrown into disarray when he catches Thomas coming out of another woman’s room. As Max decides whether to expose his grandfather’s cheating ways, the woman Thomas slept with ends up dying! Carol finds out what happens soon after, and the trip is ruined. The good news is that Max has learned… well, I’m not really sure what he’s learned. But it was a hell of a way to end an adventure. And I assume he’ll be a better person for it.
Today’s script is one of the most frustrating kinds of scripts I read.
On the surface, everything is a-okay. You’ve got a character goal – write the letter to the judge before the trip is over. You’ve got a contained time frame – the trip takes place over two weeks. You’ve got conflict between the primary two characters – Max and Thomas. And road-trip narratives are always easy-breezy reads, due to the fact that the story is always moving forward (literally).
The problem with this script, however, is that it’s too lightweight. And I see this quite a bit. Writers write these tame harmless stories about characters doing things that are sort of interesting but not really. The other day, in my Wednesday article, I talked about how your movie has to feel important. It has to feel like the events we’re watching matter. Another way people put this is, “Your script should cover the most important event that’s ever happened to your hero.” And that kind of makes sense. Why should I be excited about watching the second or third most important moment in a character’s life if I know the most important moment is floating out there somewhere?
Everything here is fine. But “fine” doesn’t get a movie made! All I kept thinking while I was reading this was, “This would be a lot better if he was on a road trip with his actual dad, the guy he has a problem with. And not this grandpa character who he has next to zero history with.” I can imagine a scenario where Max’s dad left him and his mom a couple of years ago. He’s in and out of Max’s life. Now that Max is suspended for two weeks, his mom forces his dad to take him on the trip he’s going on with his (the dad’s) girlfriend.
I say that because this movie was never about the grandfather. It was about the dad. So it’s bizarre that the dad doesn’t make an appearance.
The script also suffers from a lack of thematic focus. I don’t usually condemn a script for this unless it’s blatant. But the script starts off with this kid throwing a trash can through his principal’s window and then getting suspended. So it’s beyond strange when the second half of the movie shifts exclusively onto Thomas cheating on his wife. What in the world does that have to do with a kid who needs to figure out shit with his father? I guess you could argue that they’re both guys who need help sorting their lives out. But when the reader has to work hard to find a message, you’re probably not doing the best job sending the message.
On top of this, the script is very writer-constructed. Things are only happening because the writer needs them to. Not because that’s what would really happen. The writer needs to send his character on a road trip with his grandparents. So he has him get suspended by throwing a trash can through his principal’s window. But why did he throw the trash can through his window? That question is asked repeatedly throughout the script and never answered. Leaving one to believe that the only reason it happened was so that the writer could write his movie.
Ditto the Megan love story. In what reality do you randomly spot a girl in a car whose family happens to be taking the exact same 2000 mile road trip as you, and who is stopping along at all of the same places you’re stopping at? I’ll tell you what reality. The reality where the writer needs his characters to see each other if there’s going to be a love story. And therefore, he’ll eliminate all real-world logic to get them around each other.
Individually, none of these issues are script-killers. But when you add them all together and place them on top of an extremely bland hook, the reader’s not going to be able to ignore it. I don’t even know what kind of movie this is. It’s not dark-comedyish enough to be Little Miss Sunshine. It’s not goofy enough to be National Lampoon’s Vacation. And it’s not gross-out humor enough to be Dirty Grandpa. So what is it? It’s just some movie about a teenager who sorta doesn’t want to go on a road trip with his grandparents but has to go anyway? Is that a movie?
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Note the difference in the artificiality of these two set ups. National Lampoon’s Vacation. A family goes on a road trip vacation to “Disney” World. You don’t doubt that for a second. It’s happened hundreds of millions of times to many families. Contrast that with, “You need to go with your grandparents on a 2 week road trip to Florida because I don’t want you in the house while you’re suspended from school, and then once you get there, they’re going to put you on a plane and fly you back to New York.” Could a situation be any more artificially constructed?
