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Genre: Family
Premise: When a bully’s antics land a nerdy boy in the bottom of a well, his self-proclaimed psychic friend and unaware crush team up to find him.
About: This script is based on a book that won the Newbery Medal, which is awarded to the author of the most distinguished contribution to American literature for children. It also finished on last year’s Black List with eight votes. They got a pretty big writer to adapt the book. Michael Golamco wrote the surprise Netflix hit, “Always Be My Maybe.” He has also written a draft of the perpetually-in-development, “Akira.” Forrest Whitaker will produce. Netflix will make the film.
Writer: Michael Golamco (based on the novel by Erin Entrada Kelly)
Details: 93 pages
Since all of you are CRAZY for not loving White Lotus as much as I do, it was important, heading into Thanksgiving, that I review a feel-good screenplay that all of us could celebrate together – something so warm and invigorating, we wouldn’t even need alcohol to deal with our families.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, I think a food revolution needs to take place over the holiday. Who’s with me!?
The whole full-turkey-on-the-table thing is played out! I, for one, want to begin a new tradition of turkey pizza. The dish’s execution is simple. You make a pizza, you cut out a lot of little bite-sized pieces of turkey, and then you don’t allow that turkey anywhere near the pizza. Feed it to your pets. Then find some sausage and add that to the pizza. As well as some pepperoni. In fact, just call your local pizza joint and they can speed this whole operation up for you. That’s MY Thanksgiving food suggestion.
Okay, let’s check out this uplifting story about a kid who gets pushed into a well!
11 year old Filipino middle-schooler, Virgil, is a level 17 dork. His dorkiness is embedded so deeply within him, that even his family has given up hope that he can be anything less than a level 9 dork.
But Virgil can’t worry about his dorkiness because it’s the end of school and the last chance – THE FINAL CHANCE – before summer for him to talk to Valencia Sommerset, the girl of his dreams. Valencia is a bit of an outcast herself due to being deaf.
When Virgil fails to speak to Valencia, he trudges home and shares the news with his best friend, Kaori Tanaka, a 12 year old self-proclaimed psychic who lives next door. Kaori and her plucky 7 year old sister, Gen, try to cheer Virgil up but nothing works.
Kaori tries to get Virgil’s mind off Valencia by having him head into the woods to look for some special rocks she needs for her new psychic business. But, along the way, he runs into the school bully, who throws his backpack in a well. Virgil’s guinea pig, Gulliver, was inside, so he climbs down to save him, but ends up getting trapped at the bottom.
Ironically, Kaori’s first psychic customer is Valencia, something she’s unaware of since Valencia uses an alias. Valencia needs help interpreting a recurring nightmare. Around this time, Kaori realizes Virgil is missing and recruits Valencia to help her find him. So the three girls head out into the woods in search of the friend, who ponders the possibility that he may meet his demise down here.
Thanksgiving at the Carson household.
Hello Universe gets the first part of its central character construction correct. Virgil is in love with a girl who will never love him back. He lacks courage. His family thinks he’s lame. He’s a nerd. He’s picked on by the bully.
In other words, the writer uses a “Life treats our hero cruelly” technique to elicit sympathy from the reader.
However, the writer doesn’t get the second part of the “likable” equation right for these types of characters. Virgil is a downer. He’s negative. Audiences like characters who are dealt a bad hand AS LONG AS THEY STAY POSITIVE ABOUT IT. We just talked about this in “The Maid,” the character that’s going to win Florence Pugh an Oscar.
That character was autistic. She recently lost her best friend. People took advantage of her all the time. But amongst all of it, she stays tirelessly optimistic. And that’s when we love a character. The person who keeps getting up after being knocked down is one of the most powerful likability tools there is in character construction.
That’s not to say Virgil is a bust. We still root for the guy. But Virgil ends up being the fourth most impactful character in the story, behind the three girls looking for him.
As for the story itself, I always get a little nervous about stories that could’ve been written 75 years ago without changing a word. True, some stories are timeless. But this is usually an indication that the writer isn’t bringing anything new to the table.
With that said, if you can get the emotion and the relationships right, you can write a story that works in any time period. And I would probably include “Hello Universe” in that category.
The thing that ultimately pulled me in was the dramatic irony created with Valencia’s inclusion on the rescue team. We know that Valencia is Virgil’s crush but the girls think she’s someone else because she lied about her name. I found that to be kinda fun, that they’ve known about Virgil’s love for this girl for years yet have no idea that she’s helping them find him.
There’s also a sweetness to the journey and to the friendships that make you all warm and fuzzy inside, like a glass of warm apple cider. When you write these younger-skewing stories, you want to explore universal themes and the things that would seem high-stakes to a 12 year old, which are totally different from those of a 32 year old. There doesn’t have to be the threat of the world ending in these stories. Just things that 12 year olds think of as the world ending. Like being trapped in the middle of a forest with the school bully. Or the fear of never fitting in, which is what both Valencia and Virgil are going through.
I just wish there was a little more creativity in the script. One thing I’m always looking for in screenplays – especially ones that play in familiar sandboxes – is unique moments – moments that could only happen in your particular script. Cause if you don’t have those, what’s the point? Why write something that only retreads other films?
Look at every single variable of your screenplay – your plot, your characters, your setting – and figure out combinations of those variables that can you an original moment here, or an original moment there.
I’ll give you the one example I saw in Hello Universe. Soon after Virgil gets stuck in the well, Valencia is, coincidentally, walking by. Virgil doesn’t know it’s her. But he hears somebody. So he starts screaming for help. But… guess what? She can’t hear him because she’s deaf.
It’s this ironic moment that could’ve only happened under these particular set of variables that makes the scene pop.
Hello Universe needed more moments like that to separate itself. With that said, it’s a heartwarming tale that seems perfectly suited for a Thanksgiving weekend read. Of course, that read should be happening while snarfing down several pieces of my new Thanksgiving Turkey Pizza Without Turkey. Feel free to e-mail me and I will send you the recipe.
Script Link: Hello Universe
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: A common thing I’ve been seeing in scripts lately is hitting the emotional beat so hard that it actually creates the opposite effect. Writers do it cause they can’t help themselves. They NEEEEEEED you to feel that emotion. Here’s an example. It’s the moment after (spoiler) the girls save Virgil.
By underlining “vulnerable,” and hitting it so hard, it actually draws attention to the fact that you want the reader to feel emotion. Don’t do this! Trust the emotion. Trust the moment. It will do the job for you. All you need to do in this instance is eliminate the underlining of “vulnerable” and it will work swimmingly. No need to go over the top.
