Genre: Comedy
Premise: Ten years after graduation, one of New York’s most eligible bachelors and his eccentric wanderlust wingman try to pull their recently divorced friend out of his rut by taking him back to Howard University’s legendary Homecoming for the best weekend of their lives.
About: Today’s script made the Black List last year, finishing in the 13th spot. It then went on to sell to Lionsgate early this year after being part of a small bidding war. What’s unique about the script is that it’s written by THREE SCREENWRITERS (who go by the name, “Murder Ink”).
Writers: Brandon Broussard & Hudson Obayuwana & Jana Savage (Murder Ink)
Details: 107 pages
Michael B. Jordan for JB?
Three screenwriters?
Have you ever tried to keep track of changes on a script with just TWO screenwriters? It’s impossible! Good luck trying to find that scene that one of you deleted eight mini-drafts ago. “Hey Johnny, was that meet-cute scene in ‘draft 7.1b’ or ‘draft 3.6master (new inciting incident)’? I can’t find it!” The workflow of three screenwriters working on the same script must have digital crypto currency levels of sophistication.
That doesn’t even begin to get into the differences of opinion. It’s like having three people in a marriage! As if getting into a fight with your one wife isn’t frustrating enough. Just ask Will Smith.
Yesterday’s comedy was… very poor. Will today’s comedy make up for it?
Thad, 32, a successful Wall Street investor and eternal bachelor, heads back to Washington D.C., Howard University, for homecoming weekend. There, he meets up with his best friend from college, 32 year old JB, described as, “the guy that puts a napkin in his collar before eating fast food.” JB, who’s speaking on a panel at Howard, is fresh off his wife leaving him for a hotter younger stud.
No sooner does JB land than he’s driven to the Ethiopian Embassy and meets up with Sweet Milk, another 10 year graduate who can best be described as a mix between Kramer, Dwight, and DJ Jazzy Jeff. Sweet Milk will be appearing and disappearing throughout the story without rhyme or reason.
The bare bones story takes us through all the Homecoming checkpoints. The check-in, the dinner, the bars, the parties, the football game, the speaking panel. It’s sort of like The Hangover but without all the pomp and circumstance, to make a ‘graduation’ reference. Oh, and because Howard University is so famous, it has a bunch of celebrities there, like Kamala Harris, Danny Glover, and Ta-Nehisi Coates.
JB and Thad eventually run into Dana, their former classmate. Thad and Dana were that classic college duo who everybody thought would hook up but didn’t due to a continuous streak of bad timing. This may be their only chance to get together. JB, meanwhile, runs into his former professor he always had a crush on, Professor Winters, who is just as hot as she was a decade ago. But can JB forget about his ex-wife long enough to seal the deal?
Lots of stuff happens during the night. They get kicked out of every single bar in the city due to Thad hitting on a major club promoter’s wife. They get chased (in a lake!) by rival school’s mascot “Wally the Wolf” after they release him from his cage. And JB steals the spotlight away from fellow alum, Ta-Nehisi Coates, during their speaking panel, after he gets absolutely trashed and does a 20-minute on-the-fly dissertation about how to save black males in 2022.
That last scene was one of my favorites. Here’s the final part of it…
Finally, after the long weekend concludes, the guys must decide where they’re headed moving forward. Thad will need to figure out if he’s going to just make money and bang chicks the rest of his life (doesn’t sound so bad). JB must decide whether to stop deluding himself that his ex-wife is coming back (sounds worse). And Sweet Milk… well, let’s be real. Sweet Milk is never going to change. And everybody’s perfectly okay with that.
First thing’s first. This script is good. Waaaaay better than yesterday’s script. And this just shows you how faulty the Black List voting process is. The fact that this got 8 less votes than Killer Instinct is a joke, literally! The jokes were sharper here. The characters were better constructed. These writers have a much better command of the craft than yesterday’s writer. It’s night and day.
What’s interesting to note is that every script has its own unique challenge. Once you decide on the story you want to tell, you’re always posed with a major problem. How you solve that problem will determine whether the script works or doesn’t.
The problem with Homecoming is that there’s no plot. It’s just guys coming back for a weekend at college and having a good time. A “plotted” concept would be this exact same setup but… the three of them accidentally kill somebody during the night and have to cover it up.
The question then becomes, without a plot, how do you still make the story compelling? And a trick I always tell people is that if you’re going plotless, make the timeline as tight as possible. That way, your characters are always moving, there’s always stuff going on, and the reader doesn’t notice that there isn’t an actual plot to the story.
Dazed and Confused and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off are good examples of this. No plot to either of those stories. But we didn’t notice because they took place in a single day. I don’t think “Homecoming” works if these characters come home for an entire week. The lack of a story would’ve slowed the story to a crawl.
While I commend Homecoming for taking this approach, the issue does eventually catch up to the script. The story really only has one goal, which is JB speaking at the panel. Any time you’re telling the reader, “This is important and this is going to happen later,” the reader will look forward to that moment. Which is a tool you should take advantage of.
However, if you don’t have any “this is happening later” goals after that goal, you’re sort of leaving the reader out in the cold. Which is what happened here. After JB spoke at the panel, there was nothing left to really look forward to. Yes, I wanted to see if Thad and Dana got together. Yes I wanted to see if JB ditched his stupid ex-wife. But those are character things.
Look at The Hangover. We had the PLOT ELEMENT of needing to find Doug (the groom). So we always had that to drive us to the very end. It’s not that you need these things. There is no rulebook that says you do. But stories play better when there’s purpose behind the plot – when we’re moving towards a clear finish line. So if you don’t have that, you’re playing with fire.
With that said, the dialogue and jokes were really sharp in Homecoming and that says a lot about having three writers on a script. I made jokes at the start of this review about it being impossible to write with three people. But in comedy, it’s a huuuuuge advantage. It’s always better to have multiple people to bounce jokes off of because you know that if all three of you laugh, that joke is going in. Whereas, if you’re a lone comedy writer, it’s a complete guessing game. You may never actually know which jokes work and which don’t because nobody’s going through all your jokes to tell you.
I liked these writers and I liked their script. The reason it doesn’t rate above ‘worth the read’ is because after JB’s panel, it wasn’t totally clear what was left to say. It felt like we were walking towards the finish line instead of running. But, other than that, this was a fun ride. Definitely worth checking out.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: If you write a comedy and you have some VERY GOOD FRIENDS, ask them to go through your script, and next to every single joke, write F for “Funny” or NF for “Not funny.” If you can get two people to do this, I guarantee your comedy will be a million times better because you’re going to find out which jokes suck and you can replace all of them with better ones.
