Genre: Drama/Comedy
Premise: A grieving woman goes to an Icelandic “end of life” resort to kill herself while also looking into the surprise suicide of her girlfriend, who killed herself here several months prior.
About: This script finished with 11 votes on last year’s Black List. Laura Stoltz worked as an associate producer on a project called Shang-Gri La Suite, which was written by a couple of writers I really like, Chris Hutton and Eddie O’Keefe. She has since gone on to associate produce Ant-Man and the Wasp and co-produce Quantumania.
Writer: Laura Stoltz
Details: 114 pages
It’s “Finish Up The Black List Scripts Month” at Scriptshadow. I need to finish every one so I can appropriately reorganize the list into what the ACTUAL best scripts are.
I picked today’s script because I love the inherent structure of these “resort” setups. It’s one of the reasons I love White Lotus so much. You’ve got this clearly structured setup (limited place, limited time). It’s a great sandbox to drop a story into.
However, I didn’t know this was a comedy going in. I thought it was going to be more of a thriller. The main character was going to get here and find out something nefarious was going on. But it wasn’t that. So that disappointment definitely colored my reading experience.
It’s why The Black List needs to work on presenting these scripts better. Giving us a genre would be a great start. But let’s see what writer Laura Stoltz came up with.
Georgia, Jared, and six others, are on a private plane to Iceland. Specifically, they’re going to an “end of life” resort. You spend two weeks living it up then they assist you with your death. Fun!
Both Georgia and Jared are gay. Georgia is here because her girlfriend, Ruby, secretly came here two months ago and killed herself. Georgia has wanted to know why ever since and so she came here to investigate as well as use the facilities on herself.
But the place is really mysterious. There’s some area called “The Orchard” where everyone is buried but nobody will allow you to go until the end. So Georgia makes Jared help her find The Orchard so she can figure out what the hell happened to Ruby.
Whatever they do doesn’t work. Georgia’s going to have to go through the whole 2-week process. In the interim, Jared confesses why he’s here. He was drunk driving when he hit and killed a kid on a skateboard. The whole world hates him so he wants to off himself. The problem is he’s a coward and he’s actually been here several times and chickened out.
Eventually, Georgia finds out that all of the therapy sessions are recorded. Which means Ruby’s sessions were recorded as well. Which means if she can get her hands on those tapes, she can finally find out why Ruby did this. With some last minute help from Jared, she gets the tapes. But then (spoiler) she receives some shocking news linking Jared and Ruby that changes everything.
I call these scripts “Bummer Scripts” because there’s no other way to put it. They’re big fat bummers. I watched a Bummer Script last night – A Quiet Place: Day One. It’s about a hospice patient who wants a slice of Brooklyn Pizza during the end of the world. The entire thing was a big fat bummer.
With that said, I know that there’s an audience for these scripts. I believe the angle Laura took in telling this story was the right one. This is a comedic take. The idea is that the two ends (humor, suicide) balance each other out.
And, to be fair, (spoiler) you could kinda tell that Georgia wasn’t going to commit suicide anyway. She didn’t seem suicidal. So it was more like an investigation movie with suicide as the subject matter.
Still, when I read these scripts, they bum me out. And I don’t want to be bummed out at the end of a script. You have a much better chance of people recommending your script to others if it’s hopeful, or upbeat, or optimistic. I see viewers watching this trailer and thinking, “Why would I go see that?” “Why go see a movie about people killing themselves?”
I also think there was a lot more plot potential here.
There’s a big reveal late (spoiler) in the script where Georgia sees old security footage of the resort and Ruby and Jared are walking together.
I want to sit in that reveal for a second because its fallout is an important lesson for screenwriters. It’s HARD AS HELL to write anything that captivates a reader. If you’ve captivated anybody with your script, even if it was just for a moment, you’ve done something incredible.
That moment – seeing Jared and Ruby on tape – was the only part of the script that I was captivated by. My thought was, “Ooooh… I wonder what happened there.” For the first time, I leaned in. But then, when Georgia confronts Jared about it, it amounts to, “Oh, I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be upset.” There was nothing to the reveal. It was almost an anti-reveal in how unimportant the plot beat was.
If you can create a captivating moment in a script, you want to MINE THE HECK OUT OF IT. Cause that thing’s like gold. The majority of your script is rocks. So if you can create gold, you want to get the most money you can for that gold.
I would’ve created a much a bigger reveal out of Jared and Ruby knowing each other. I’m not saying I would’ve made them lovers. That’s kind of an obvious choice. But you could’ve done something way more interesting than Jared shrugging it off and saying, “Yeah, we hung out a bit.” You’re getting nothing for your gold with that.
And let’s be honest. This is a bummer script. You already risk people being emotionally sad leaving this screenplay. But if you can leave them with a shocking reveal, that ups the reader’s final emotional state considerably.
This one just wasn’t my jam. With that said, if you liked the movie, “The Lobster,” I could see you maybe liking this as well. It’s supposed to be kinda quirky and “voicy.” But the downbeat subject matter really kept me from connecting with it.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: One of the most dependable rules in screenwriting is that if the writer makes a reference that you, the reader, don’t understand, there’s a good chance you won’t like the screenplay. Jared is described as a “Jonathen Van Ness” type. But I don’t know who that is. What that typically means is that the writer lives a life that is unfamiliar to mine and, therefore, they will likely write a story that I don’t relate to. It’s something to keep in mind when you’re thinking of making your own references. Personally, I stay away from references for that reason. Why potentially alienate a reader if you don’t have to?
