Genre: Sci-fi
Premise: A bitter truce has been reached after an alien invasion. Fueled by suspicions of an alien spy in their ranks, the United Nations entrusts an agent with finding the mole.
About: This one finished Top 20 on the 2015 Black List and comes from a British writer who recently wrote a film for Paul Verhoeven to direct, titled, “Elle.” It follows the CEO of a gaming software company who is attacked in her home by an unknown assailant.
Writer: David Birke
Details: 117 pages – February 2015 draft
After coming out of yet another meeting last week where it was stressed to me the need for more biopics and true stories, I’m at my wits end. I’m trying not to sour on the format. But I’m just so sick of it! How many lives do we have to watch before somebody gives us an original idea with original execution????
With that said, I had one of those a-ha moments on the drive home about why biopics have become such a huge deal. About 7-8 years ago, the ultra-franchise was born, bringing with it, if not the extinction of the star-driven film, then at least the destruction of its infrastructure.
In this new world, stars were going to have to find a new way to survive. I mean, shit, we’re in a world where a Will Smith movie is now lucky to bring in 30 million bucks. Enter the biopic. It is the genre that studios still need big actors for, as those actors are the only way to sell the movie. I mean let’s be honest. No one’s going to see Joy if it stars, say, Selena Gomez.
Actors realized quickly that this was their ticket to keep being stars and to get paaaaaa-aaaid. And so the 50 biopics a year era was born.
Am I mad about this? No. I can’t be. I have too many places asking me for the next great biopic screenplay and/or true story. So I will have to keep reading them. But when I don’t have to read them, I will fight the good fight. Read scripts that contain some element of being born inside an imagination. And when I read the logline for today’s script, that’s exactly what I saw. The only question is whether the execution would match it. Let’s find out.
The year is 2037. A War of the Worlds-like alien attack has occurred and the planet has somehow neutralized the alien threat, although now we have a bunch of aliens lingering around, still pushing their agenda. The only difference is that instead of doing so through giant ships that shoot lasers, they’re doing it through espionage, developing human-alien hybrids that look and act exactly like humans, then using them as spies.
This is where our hero, Martin Webber, comes into play. Webber works for the world equivalent of the CIA or MI-6, and is an agent dedicated to neutralizing the alien presence. His job has gotten a lot tougher, though, as word’s come down that one of these secret alien-humans has infiltrated the agency. Webber, due to his no-nonsense approach, is chosen to smoke this person out, a guy or gal who goes by the code name, “Morningstar.”
Strangely enough, Webber doesn’t seem to be in that much of a hurry. He likes to hang out with his hot neighbor, Mia, and get to those pesky job requirements whenever he’s feeling up to it. This results in a very relaxed investigation that begins to indicate our mole is a lot closer to Webber than he may have thought. In the end, we find that the truce between us and these aliens is a lot more complicated than we could’ve imagined.
As I’ve said plenty of times before, if you’re going to write a sci-fi movie, particularly an alien invasion sci-fi movie, you want to look for a fresh way to tell the story. It’s why I liked Story of Your Life. It’s why I liked District 9. And that tradition continues with today’s script, Morningstar.
It’s no easy challenge though. The reason people do it the easy way isn’t because that’s the way it’s always been done, but because that’s the way that includes the most dramatic tension. The act of aliens invading offers all sorts of dramatic possibilities. If you’re coming into the mix after that, you’re going to have a hard time finding a story as cool. I mean, what’s more high-stakes than an alien invasion?
A good example of this problem played out in the development of World War Z. That film was based on a book that took place after the zombie outbreak was over. The story was more about the political machinations involved in figuring out what went wrong and who was responsible.
They wrote a few drafts with that approach – one of which I reviewed on the site – and there was a big problem. It wasn’t that interesting. So in the end, they caved and moved the story back into the actual zombie outbreak, resulting in a much more dramatically compelling film.
Suffice it to say, Morningstar hasn’t figured out how to solve this problem either. But that’s just the beginning of the script’s problems. Everything here is over-described, with 8-10 line description paragraphs being the norm. Goals aren’t highlighted properly, leaving us to go 20 pages at a time not really sure what the characters are trying to do. And there’s a whole lot of talking instead of doing, which is one of the worst mistakes you can make writing a screenplay. The whole script has the distinctive feel of being that person at the party who will talk for 30 minutes and after you walk away you realize he didn’t actually say anything.
A lot of this could’ve been solved by instituting a more focused lens. And focus starts with your action description. A lot of writers hear that you’re supposed to keep your paragraphs to 4 lines or less in a screenplay and don’t see what the big deal is. I mean, is it really that difficult to read 8 lines instead of 4?
If it’s good writing, it’s certainly not as big of a deal. But the main reason that writing sparsely is so important, is because it forces you to think about what you want to say. If you have unlimited lines, you’ll babble til you get to the point. But if you have three, it’s a lot like a tweet. You have to think about what it is you want to say and be concise about it. And when you do that, your sentences are always more impactful.
If Birke could’ve done that and then extrapolated that approach to his entire writing process, giving the script more focus and thrust (honestly, there was ZERO URGENCY in this story), I’m sure I would’ve enjoyed it more. But right now, it’s too vague, not enough happens, characters talk about insignificant things for far too long, and, worst of all, it’s not fun. This is an alien movie and there isn’t a single bit of fun in it. Even the grandfather of serious sci-fi, Blade Runner, had fun.
So I was really bummed out about this one. It was a cool premise with a lot of opportunity but it’s just not there yet.
[ ] what the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: I know this relates more to my intro than it does the script, but it’s worth noting that if you’re going to write a biopic, the number of entries into that genre has skyrocketed, which means the only way you’re going to stand out is if you do something unique. Cradle-to-grave biopics should be your last option. Think like Sorkin and what he did with Jobs. Try something different. As someone who’s been reading a lot of biopics for my contest, most of them are boring simply because they’re the exact same thing over and over again. Good luck!
