Genre: Contained Thriller/Sci-Fi
Premise: When a hospital patient finds herself at the bottom of a building of rubble, she must work with a mysterious FBI agent to figure out what happened and how to escape.
About: We’ve got a nobody writer who sold a spec for mid-six figures in 2019. Say hello to happy time. Rubble is that modern-day rarity. A high concept zero IP spec from an unknown that finds its way to a sale (to Universal, no less). I wish every day could be like this. It feels like Christmas at Scriptshadow.
Writer: Patrick Pittis
Details: 93 pages
People don’t have the time.
Nobody has the time.
The dedicated folks who visit this site are probably the most likely people in the world to want to read screenplays and 95% of you don’t have the time to read a full script. Sure, you’ll open a script up. Read a few pages. But you rarely finish the thing. So if you can’t make it through a screenplay, why would you think anybody else could?
This is why writing tight fast-moving high concept scripts are the best route for screenwriters who want to make an impact. Grab’em immediately and never let’em go. That’s the only chance you have of winning over a reader when you’re an unknown.
Sure, if you’re a name writer, you can tease a little more. You can tempt. You can ease your way into your story and readers will give you rope. But you’re not that. You’re a nobody. At least in the screenwriting world. And for that reason, scripts like “Rubble” should be your template.
I was casing the Black List, reading over some of their loglines, and wishing I had a chandelier that could hold a 170 pound body. Some of the scripts very well might be good. But you could tell they needed an intense amount of investment. And nothing interesting was going to happen for at least the first 60 pages.
Then I remembered I had this script and it was like the skies had opened up. The sun was shining again. All was right with the world. I was on page five in under two minutes. This thing was flying. It was such an easy story to grasp and get into.
There’s no question this is a huge reason why this script sold. Anybody who read this script was able to get through it with no issues whatsoever. They could get distracted by a phone call, yelled at by an angry boss, and they could get right back into it without skipping a beat. Never underestimate the power of that.
Jessica wakes up after some sort of explosion. She’s in a building. Or at the bottom of one. All around her is building waste – rubble. Whatever happened knocked her unconscious, and also caused amnesia. She can’t remember who she is or how she got here.
Jessica sees a band around her wrist. It’s for a hospital. It has her name on it and, “Trinity Memorial.” Okay, at least she’s got that squared away. But not everyone was as lucky as Jessica. A nearby corpse dressed in military gear didn’t make it through. Jessica notices a walkie-talkie on the man. She scurries over, grabs it, and starts pressing buttons.
Soon, she’s able to get in touch with Agent Sparks, a female FBI agent. Sparks seems confused about who this is at first, but when Jessica informs her she’s at the bottom of Trinity Memorial, Sparks jumps into action. She organizes a team to locate and rescue Jessica. But it’s going to be awhile. Meanwhile, a terrorist pops up on the channel, threatening to detonate another bomb. Something gnaws at Jessica when she hears this. The dead man. His outfit was… bulky. She goes over to him, looks inside his shirt, and sure enough, he’s wearing a bomb. With a timer. 57 minutes. It looks like whatever rescue effort is going to happen, it will need to happen fast.
Meanwhile, Jessica starts remembering bits and pieces of her hospital stay. She was in an operating room. They were about to inject her with something. And then… blank. She can’t remember what happened after that. Things get tougher for Jessica when a second terrorist figures out where she is and comes after her. But just when we think Jessica is done for, this new terrorist tells her that it’s not him she should be worried about. It’s that agent she’s been talking to this whole time.
This script is a producer’s dream.
High concept. Feels big (a terrorist attack that might have affected the whole city), yet it’s contained (takes place in a single small room). Single location means it’s cheap to shoot. A main character someone would want to play. It’s also unlike other contained thrillers out there. All of these things contributed to this script selling, no doubt.
I was pulled in immediately. The story starts on the very first page. No prep. We’re just thrown into it. It follows with our hero trying to figure out what’s going on. Of course I’m going to keep reading to find out as well. Then comes a sequence where Jessica is trying to convince people on the walkie-talkie to help her but they keep ignoring her, telling her to get off the channel. I kept turning the pages because I was just as frustrated as she was. Why wasn’t anyone helping her!!?? And by that point, about ten pages in, I was hooked. I wanted to read the whole script.
But Rubble’s story doesn’t come without a few challenges. Amnesiac characters are hard characters to write for because they can’t arc. They have no depth. This is because if a character has no past (that they or we know of) then they don’t have any flaws, anything holding them back we can work with (yesterday’s script, The Mule, explored a man who’s always put work above family – that’s a flaw you can work with). This often results in the character feeling thin.
This is why in so many amnesiac stories, the best course of action is to KEEP. THE STORY. MOVING. The more we’re focused on the plot, the less we’re focused on the fact that our character is so thin. You’ll find the same thing in the original Bourne film. Amnesiac Jason Bourne is a thin character. But we don’t care because we’re always moving forward. Ditto Memento, although that script cleverly built some character depth via external images (the tattoos on his body).
The next challenge you run into in a script like this is creating a satisfying answer to your plot-driven mystery. Who am I? What happened? Who is Jason Bourne? Who killed Leonard’s wife? In Rubble, that question is: What was Jessica in this hospital for? Because these stories are so plot driven, the expectations are high for a stellar explanation. You could say that the entire movie hinges on it. And while I’m not going to spoil it here, I’ll say that Rubble does a solid job with its reveal. Not great, not bad. But solid. I’ll leave your with this. It’s got a bit of a “10 Cloverfield Lane” finale. So if you liked that movie, you’ll like this script.
If I have one complaint, it’s that I’ve found yet another writer who believes it’s easy to knock people out. People get knocked out in this movie A LOT. Like it happens a dozen-plus times. They get kicked, they’re knocked out. Something falls on them, they’re knocked out. They fall down, they’re knocked out. When I can guarantee that you the writer haven’t ever personally seen someone get knocked out, why would you think it’s common enough to include 12 times in a script that takes place over 100 minutes? I mean come on!!! This movie-logic stuff drives me crazy.
With that said, I was entertained by Rubble. And I can totally see why it sold. It’s not the greatest script. But it was an easy fun read.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Contained thrillers don’t make the Black List anymore due to a number of reasons (lack of woke points being the primary one). But a fresh contained thriller premise (ideally with a horror or sci-fi slant) still has a better chance of selling than any of those scripts you’ll see on the Black List. Rubble is proof of this.
