Genre: Comedy/Drama
Premise: Eighth grader Simon Paluska dreams of being a Taekwondo Black Belt, but he’s not allowed to take lessons. So he buys a Black Belt on Amazon for twenty-five bucks. Then, he has to use it.
About: Today’s script finished in the top 20 on last year’s Black List. Randall Green wrote 2019’s The Perfect Date and has half a dozen scripts in development.
Writer:Randall Green
Details: 100 pages
Today we deal with the screenwriting boogeyman.
The dark comedy.
The funny thing about dark comedies is that they’re the comedies writers most like to write. Yet they’re the comedies audiences least like to watch. So there’s obviously a disconnect there. Which is why I tell writers to stay away from them if possible.
But they never listen. :)
And that’s because, like I said, writers love to write them! Which makes sense. Writers are thoughtful people. They see comedy in the darkest of places. So it’s a natural fit. But you must nail that perfect blend of comedy and drama to get them right. And boy is that balance elusive.
13 year old Simon Paluska is flying to California to live with his Uncle. Simon just lost both his parents to an avalanche. The only thing getting Simon through these rough times is Taekwondo. He’s just started his Taekwondo journey and loves watching old martial arts movies. He can see himself dedicating his entire life to this discipline.
We get little hints here and there that Simon was picked on back in middle school and thinks Taekwondo will solve that problem. But after Uncle Nate breaks the news that he doesn’t have enough money for Taekwondo lessons, he tells Simon to buy a black belt online and learn Taekwondo ‘on Youtube.’ Simon hates the idea but supposes it’s better than nothing.
Simon wears his black belt to the first day of school and the class bully, James, makes fun of him for it. Simon walks over, kicks James’s desk and breaks his ruler. The class is awed by this move. So much so that hotties Liv and Autumn become obsessed with Simon. They recruit him in their plan to steal a bunch of money and move to Montana. Simon is so thrilled to have the attention of any female that he agrees, even though stealing is not part of the Taekwondo code.
As time goes on, Simon realizes that Autumn and Liv are not good for him and struggles with conflicting feelings of doing what’s right and doing whatever he can to impress them. Things get exponentially complicated when Liv kisses Simon, sparking a romance. Now Simon is in it to win it, regardless of Taekwondo. But is that the right move? Should he really go along with their plan to steal 20 thousand dollars and move to Montana at 13 years old? We’re going to find out!
Let’s talk about main characters for a second.
In general, you want your main character making choices themselves. Not having choices be made for them. Why? Because someone who’s making their own choices is ACTIVE. Someone who’s following orders or making choices based on what others say is REACTIVE. Or PASSIVE.
I’ve read enough screenplays to know how dangerous it is to write a PASSIVE or REACTIVE protagonist. There are ways to do it, of course. But it’s so much more trouble than it’s worth. Reactive and passive people are considered WEAK. Not just in stories. But in real life. So when you make that choice, you’re constantly having to explain, through other storytelling choices, why this is someone we should still be rooting for.
When I read this logline and I saw that this little kid buys a black belt, I thought, “That’s an interesting character.” He buys a black belt and then has to fake his way through it. There’s lots of comedy potential there.
But when I got to the part where his UNCLE makes the decision for him, the entire concept collapsed. Well, maybe ‘collapsed’ is an exaggeration. But I lost a lot of interest in the character after that one change.
When it comes to your main character and the main pillar holding up your concept (in this case, a kid buys a black belt even though he’s not a black belt), you need to be particular about the choices you make because they have an outsized effect on the story.
You may stress about that scene on page 64 that you’re worried “goes too far.” But that scene can’t destroy your script. Choices that occur early with both your main character and your concept – those are the things that can destroy the script.
In addition to this, the script turns the traditional “nerd arrives at a new school” formula on its head. What usually happens in these movies is the nerd gets beat up by the bully on the first day of school. In this version, the opposite occurs. Simon humiliates the bully. Just about every screenwriting book will tell you this is a good thing. Turning things on their head allows you to explore new territory.
But every writing choice has consequences. You gain some things but you also lose some things. Your job as the writer is to make sure that what you gain is better than what you lose.
I’m going to trigger a few people here but it’s such a popular example, I’m going to use it. In Rian Johnson’s “The Last Jedi,” he makes the bold choice of killing off Supreme Leader Snoke at the midpoint. What he gained was the element of shock. Nobody saw it coming. What he lost was the vacuum that was created when the top villain disappeared from the story. It felt like the Rebels had already won. This, of course, is what led to the desperate choice of bringing back the Emperor in Rise of Skywalker. There needed to be someone to take down.
With Simon demonstrating that he wasn’t afraid of the bully at the beginning of Black Belt, we move into uncharted territory. Simon is now looked up to. Girls are draped over both his shoulders. We gain a future that we aren’t able to predict. We haven’t been down this road before.
But we lose that deep emotional need to see our underdog defeat the bully who picked on him. That’s the reason we watch these movies. We watch them for revenge. If there’s nothing to avenge, then what’s the story? I suppose the story is that Simon must keep the Taekwondo illusion going in order to stay on top. And there is something compelling about that narrative. But is it better than a bullied underdog getting his vengeance? That’s a question the writer must ask.
Yet another problem is that the script never shows us what Simon’s normal life was like. As a result, when he walks up to the bully and breaks his ruler, we don’t know if that’s normal for Simon or the first time he’s done anything remotely like that.
Sure, we get hints here and there through conversation that he may have been a dork at his old school. But movies are SHOWING NOT TELLING. You can have your character say, “I’m a nerd” 2000 times in a row. It will not have as much impact as showing him do something nerdy. I was constantly trying to figure out who Simon was in this story. And I think that’s because I never got to see him around other kids prior to his experience at this school.
Despite all this, the script is DIFFERENT.
The voice is DIFFERENT.
It doesn’t feel like the same old thing you’ve read before. And there’s something noble about that. Most writers are rewriting their favorite movies with different character names. Black Belt feels original. As a testament to that, when I hit page 50, I literally heard myself say, “Where is this going??” I had no idea.
But just because something’s original doesn’t mean it’s going to work. And I spent the majority of this script trying to figure out what it was I was actually reading. That’s the problem with destroying the blueprint. You might end up with a house that has no bedrooms. Which is unfortunate since there were a lot of times during this script where I just wanted to go to sleep.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Give your smaller characters little goals. Simon’s Uncle is saving up money to buy an engagement ring for his girlfriend. It’s a small goal. But it helps make the character feel real. Fake characters simply exist, waiting for the writer to call on them. Real people are working towards things regardless of whether the writer calls on them or not. The Uncle character is the latter.
