Genre: Drama
Premise: A Nevada court judge who moonlights reffing high-profile boxing matches must face his demons when he’s assigned to the Olympic fight of an ex-con he’d previously sentenced for murder.
About: Justin Piasecki is a writer who’s slowly making a name for himself. You can usually spot the writers who are on the rise when they have consecutive showings on the Black List. Last year, Piasecki got on the list with, “The Broker.” This year he adds The Neutral Corner.
Writer: Justin Piasecki
Details: 112 pages
How great was that Logan Paul Floyd Mayweather fight? Easily the best 15 minutes of the past year for me. Totally worth the 100 bucks.
As we always talk about on the site, one of your primary initiatives as a screenwriter should be to find fresh angles to familiar setups. That’s what today’s writer did. Boxing is one of the oldest sub-genres in cinema. It’s made a ton of a money for Hollywood. Because the setup is so simple, though, there hasn’t been a whole lot of variation to it.
Today’s writer says, “I’m going to change that.” Instead of focusing on a boxer, he focuses on a boxing ref. Let’s see what happens.
50-something Ray Tennyson is a Nevada judge. But, as a former boxer who’s still in love with the sport, he also moonlights as a boxing ref. And he’s a good one. In fact, he’s so good that the Olympics call him up to be a ref. And not just any ref. The NUMBER ONE HEAD REF in all of the Olympics. It’s an amazing opportunity.
Ray’s dream turns into a nightmare, though, when he learns that a 17 year old kid he sent to prison for vehicular murder many moons ago, Cameron Mills, has gotten out, grown up, and will be on the Olympic team. Terrified that he’ll lose this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Ray chooses not to report his conflict of interest to the Olympic committee.
But as the Olympics draw closer, it’s looking more and more like the committee is going to find out. So Ray starts throwing his judge weight around, using his contacts to jerryrig the system behind the scenes to get Cameron kicked off. When that doesn’t work, Ray starts getting mysterious phone calls late at night. Best friends start getting beaten to within an inch of their lives. Cameron Mills’s cronies start showing up at the courthouse. Watching Ray.
The script starts throwing flashbacks at us, each one revealing a new detail about the Cameron Mills murder case. First, we learn that Ray over-sentenced Cameron. He seemed to have some personal animus towards him. In the next flashback, we learn that Ray’s own sister was killed by a drunk driver, which clearly influenced Cameron’s sentencing. The more we learn, the more we realize Ray used his power to destroy this kid’s life. All of this is going to come to a head of course. The question is, will either of them be left standing?
This isn’t a feature film.
These are not feature characters.
These are TV characters. I know that because I’ve seen this TV show. It’s called Your Honor.
This is something screenwriters need to know.
There’s a difference between movie characters and TV characters. Movie characters are big. They have big goals. They’re going after big things. The stakes are bigger. Their personalities are bigger.
TV characters are more subtle. They want things but those things are often far off in the distance. Maybe they’re trying to make partner at a law firm. Or become a detective on the force. Or just get their life back on track.
It makes sense when you think about it. A TV show has to last longer. If your character is too big, they’re going to fizzle out before they get to the finish line. So TV characters have no choice but to be subtler.
Now, of course, there are *movies* with subtle characters. They’re usually the films vying for Academy Awards. Your Moonlights of the world. Your Manchester By the Seas. But this is a nearly impossible sandbox to play in. You’re trying to make a movie work with TV level drama.
If the characters are truly dynamic, the relationships incredibly captivating, the dialogue obviously awesome, the plot screamingly exciting, you can achieve this. But, most of the time, you get The Neutral Corner. It’s a pretty good script but the whole time I was reading it I was thinking, “This is a TV show, not a movie.” Especially in 2021 when you have to be BIGGER THAN EVER to succeed as a film.
I can already hear some of you saying: WRONG CARSON! UNDER THAT LOGIC, THERE’D BE NO AMERICAN BEAUTY! OR MARRIAGE STORY! OR LADYBIRD!
Again, I’m not saying it can’t be done. But if you’re writing a movie that only has a chance if it can be held up as one of the five best movies of the year… you’re making an already difficult job thousands of times more difficult.
However, I hear the screams. I hear the yells. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to tell you the key to writing these movies if you so choose to.
You must write a complex character who’s just as bad as they are good. Look at Promising Young Woman. This is a woman who has good intentions – she wants justice for her friend who was raped – but who goes about it in very dark and questionable ways, threatening and humiliating innocent people to achieve her ultimate goal. Those tend to be the characters that can carry TV level dramas into the feature space.
That’s where I think The Neutral Corner falls short. Ray *sort of* did a bad thing. But every questionable choice he makes in this film is offset by an explanation of why it’s okay. Yeah, he sent a 17 year old kid to prison for a long time but the kid did, presumably, kill a young woman and permanently maim a young man because he was high on multiple drugs.
For these types of movies, you need your main character to lean into that bad side. Or give them something really terrible they once did. Like Bryan Cranston’s judge character in Your Honor. He covers up his son’s murder *and then* allows another innocent kid to take the rap for the murder and go to prison, where he’s ultimately killed. That’s bad.
Giving someone a harsh sentence for killing a woman isn’t that bad.
This is why it’s so often advised that you not write dramas as an aspiring screenwriter. Readers read these scripts and think, “There’s not enough going on here.” I’d rather you write a giant idea and try to push the limits of character development than write a big strong character piece inside a tiny narrative. It can be done, of course. But for every Promising Young Woman, I read 200 middling versions of these scripts.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: If you need to flashforward, flashback! Stay away from long timelines. Try to keep your movie timeline to 2 weeks tops. Movies have to move fast and every time you cut to “3 weeks later” or “4 months” later, the momentum from the previous timeline ceases. Which means you have to start building momentum all over again. Not advised. HOWEVER, if you’re going to do it, The Neutral Corner gives you a great way to do so. Here’s what you do: If you ever want to jump forward in time, give us a flashback first. After the flashback is over, cut forward “3 weeks” or “4 months” or however much time you need to. The flashback works as sort of a “camouflage” for the forward jump that follows. We won’t notice it nearly as much as if you would’ve jumped forward out of nowhere.
What I learned 2: If you are going to write a drama, make sure your hero has a legitimate darkness to them. Don’t sugarcoat their darkness to make them “more likable.” These characters only work if the darkness within them is significant. Promising Young Woman, Joker, and Nightcrawler are all good examples of this.
