Genre: Sci-Fi/Drama
Premise: Nineteen years after his death, a man’s consciousness is revived in the body of a recent suicide victim, and he sets off on a journey through an unfamiliar world to find the wife he left behind.
About: This script finished with 19 votes on last year’s Hit List. The shortest combined name co-writing team-up in history, Matt Kic and Mike Sorce, are huge believers in the screenwriting contest circuit. They semi-finalled in everything from the Nicholl to Austin to BlueCat. More recently, they wrote for the show, Jack Ryan, on Amazon.
Writers: Matt Kic & Mik Sorce
Details: 115 pages
Sci-Fi hard dramas are some of the most difficult to make work. Because the thing about sci-fi is that it’s fun! So when you hear a sci-fi premise – going into the future or heading up to space – you’re craving the adventure-like quality that only a fun science-fiction premise can bring. When you take the fun out, it’s a lot tougher. Look no further than Interstellar or Blade Runner 2049. These movies have their fans, but most people find them tedious. The writer presents us with all these toys but then tells us we can’t play with them. That’s why a lot of sci-fi dramas will morph into sci-fi thrillers. It gives us some of that fun we were promised. With that said, I root for these scripts because there isn’t a lot of science-fiction for adults out there. We’re getting one later this year in Ad Astra. But, after reading that script, I’d say it’s the perfect example of why adult sci-fi is so hard to get right. It strips out every ounce of fun from its premise and becomes an overly tedious dramatic snore. I’m hoping today’s script doesn’t take us on that same journey. Let’s check it out..
In 2009, 35 year old Ben Haskins found out he had cancer. Which sucks because… well… who wants cancer? It’s especially tricky for Ben because he and his wife, Katherine, have been in love since they were teenagers. It’s not just that he’s going to lose his own life. Katherine will have to go on without him.
Luckily, there’s a new experimental procedure that allows you, if you’re terminally sick, to go into stasis and then, when they figure out how to transfer one’s brain consciousness to another body, put you in one of those new bodies. Ben decides to do that and when he comes out of it, he and Katherine can be together again. So Ben initiates the suspension and wakes up in 2029 inside the body of a killer good-looking dude who recently committed suicide.
Immediately, Ben learns some horrifying news. Katherine didn’t wait up for him. In fact, she signed a document making it illegal for him to look for her. Because of additional laws surrounding suspension, they ship Ben out of Illinois, which he can’t come back to for five years, all to make sure that he and Katherine never cross paths.
One night, while drowning his sorrows at the bar, a hot young woman named Abby bumps into him. Remember, Ben’s a super hot stud in his new body, so girls are all over him like flies. While Ben has rejected every other girl who’s come his way, there’s something special about Abby that he can’t put his finger on. That night, he unloads his entire sob story on her, and she’s so mesmerized by it she encourages the two of them to go find Katherine, laws be damned.
After some investigating, they find out she lives in a small town and has remarried a man named Raymond. It just so happens the two are celebrating their 15th anniversary this weekend. Ben and Abby decide to pull a Wedding Crashers and pretend to be part of the extended family. There’s a big plan involved but the second he sees Katherine again, he loses all rationale. He must talk to her. He must find out why she left him. Unfortunately, Ben’s about to find out that maybe he shouldn’t have come here after all.
First impressions?
Good script!
The mistake that these sci-fi dramas tend to make is that they take themselves too seriously. They think they have to create some elaborate narrative and sit inside endless scenes where characters share their feelings. But Second Life has a pretty basic structure to it. The goal is to find Katherine. The stakes are, it’s the love of his life. And the urgency… well, there’s not a lot of urgency to be honest. Which tends to happen in dramas. But the narrative is at least clear and we can participate in a dramatic question driving the film: “What will happen when he confronts Katherine?”
What surprised me about the script was that it started out really hardcore sci-fi. It was clear that these writers did their homework with their mythology. There were new laws in place regarding body-jumping. There was this elaborate re-introduction into society phase that felt realistic to me. And whenever we discussed anything around Ben’s procedure, it all felt organic and well-constructed. But then we move out of the city, and, by doing so, completely abandon the sci-fi element of the story. It basically becomes people hanging out at a wedding for the weekend. And while I’ll never say this is an incorrect choice, I’m always reluctant to pursue storylines that venture away from the promise of your premise.
Don’t get me wrong. There are still revelations to be made regarding the body-hopping. But I was reminded of Rian Johnson’s, “Looper.” Where we start off in this big cool city setting and end in some boring farm.
Luckily, the script still worked because Ben’s character creation was so strong. One of the things you can do to make readers care about a character is to give that character something they want more than anything. It’s hard not to root for someone, or want to follow someone, who is desperate to achieve something – anything really. But especially something that’s personal to them. I don’t know how you read the first 10 pages of this script and not want to keep reading til the end. You absolutely have to find out if Ben and Katherine get back together.
And another great screenwriting lesson that you can find here is to double up the mystery. Sure, the mystery of where is Katherine and why did she leave is a good one. But why give the reader one chocolate chip cookie when you can give them two? There’s obviously something off about Abby. She’s not telling us the whole truth about herself. So there’s that secondary mystery driving us to turn the page. Now we have TWO reasons to read til the end.
The script isn’t perfect. It makes some weird choices. For example, I don’t know why Ben goes into this program in 2009. We all know that there is no such thing as this type of program in 2009, which means it would have to be secret, which means how does he know about it? And it’s such a simple fix. Set Ben’s cancer storyline in 2023. And then set the future storyline in 2043. I don’t know why you’d set this in a year that doesn’t make any sense.
But it all comes together in the end. In fact, there’s a last second twist to the whole thing that caught me by surprise. Usually in these scripts, the twists are lame. But this one had me nodding my head and thinking, “Nice. Didn’t see that coming.” I’m going to let you guys guess what that twist is in the comments. We’ll see who the most savvy screenwriters on the lot are. And if no one else reveals the twist by the end of the day, I’ll reveal it.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Sci-Fi Dramas are HARD SELLS on the market. Just yesterday I presented a script that makes things SO MUCH EASIER for the writer because of how many “these types of scripts sell the most” boxes it checks. Whereas with sci-fi dramas, they rarely get bought because of how bad they tend to do at the box office. My suggestion, if you really love a dramatic sci-fi idea? Is to write it as a novel. That’s where the audience for this sub-genre is. And, who knows, if the book is a best-seller, they’ll turn it into a movie. Everybody wins.
