Genre: Crime/Drama
Premise: A rapper who built his gangster image off an old friend learns that the friend has been released from prison early and is looking for revenge.
About: Making a movie is hard. You can be *this* close and, all of a sudden, BAM, everything falls apart. That’s what happened with Harmony Korine’s “Trap.” The film was slated to go in 2016 with Idris Elba, Benicio Del Toro, Robert Pattinson, Al Pacino, and James Franco. But just two weeks before production, it all fell apart when Korine got into a major disagreement with one of the cast members (who he won’t name). Today we learn if it was a good thing or a bad thing that this film got squashed.
Writer: Harmony Korine
Details: 123 pages
Dis track.
I listened to the Machine Gun Kelly dis track of Eminem yesterday.
You might be saying, “Carson, you know what a dis track is?” The answer is no. I do not. But I’m a quick learner and from what I now understand, it is when one rapper, or internet celebrity, takes down another rapper, or internet celebrity, in a song. I feel very “hip with it” talking about this. And it got me in a gangster mood. Naturally I then had to read Harmony Korine’s take on gangster rap superstardom, Trap, which refers to how we all get “trapped” in the lives that we create for ourselves.
Damn, that’s deep!
Rico is a worldwide gangster rap superstar. How successful is this man? He’s got five houses in Miami alone, yo. He’s got LeBron on speed dial (no, I’m serious, he leaves a voicemail for LeBron). He’s also got a wife and a kid. And, oh yeah, sometimes he bangs Miley Cyrus on the side. You know, when he’s bored.
Rico’s preparing to perform at the Grammy’s in a few days when he gets bad news. The childhood friend he used to run with, Slim, is getting out of prison. Normally, your friend being released from prison would be cause for celebration. But, you see, that wife of Rico’s? That used to be Slim’s girlfriend. That child of Rico’s? That’s actually Slim’s son. That personality of Rico’s? Yeah, he kinda based it entirely on Slim.
Once Slim’s out, he hooks up with some local surfers-slash-thieves (who I guess stole their own personas from Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze) and starts texting videos to Rico taunting him that he’s coming. As we learn from a local Rastafarian drug lord who’s trying to play peacekeeper between the two sides, it isn’t enough for Slim to kill Rico. He has to terrorize him first.
Rico beefs up his security but it’s clear that won’t deter Slim-Jim. Then, on the night of the Grammy’s, Slim and the Surfers barge into his house, kill all his security, and hold Rico’s son hostage (well, actually, it’s Slim’s son, which doesn’t make sense but whatever). Slim texts Rico to come home alone so they can square away their beef once and for all, son!
I’m betting from that description, you’re thinking this script is pretty good, amirite? You’ve got gangster rappers. Stolen personas. Killer surfers. Miley Cyrus. A Miami backdrop. This sounds like it could be an insane movie, a modern day Scarface.
It isn’t.
It isn’t because it’s one of the most inefficiently written screenplays I’ve ever read.
Okay, so, here’s a task. I want you to convey to me, in as many scenes as you think are necessary, that Rico and Slim stole money from a yacht when they were teenagers, the act got Slim thrown in prison, Rico has an upcoming Grammy show, and Slim is now out of prison. Off the top of your head, how many pages do you think that should take? 10 maybe? I suppose, if you really want to draw the scenes out and sell this world, 20? Hell, let’s be generous. Add another 5 pages.
How many pages did it take Korine to get this info across?
FIFTY!
It takes the script 50 freaking pages to set those four things up.
And the worst part is that none of those 50 pages were interesting. It’s just a bunch of flashbacks to the two characters when they were younger doing stupid shit.
And here’s the bizarre part. It’s all silent. Or, at least, most of it is. Nobody talks in this movie. Nobody has a conversation. It’s all images. And when I say images, I don’t mean a string of images pieced together in a dramatically compelling way. I mean seeing Rico sit in his bedroom thinking about life kind of images.
I kept waiting for someone to TALK to someone. IT BARELY HAPPENS. Oddly enough, the people who do talk are never the people we want to talk! Rastafarian Drug Dealer probably gets more lines in this movie than Rico – the protagonist!
And look, I understand that there are instances where you can pull this sort of thing off. Hitchcock could perform miracles without having his characters say anything. But this kind of storytelling requires skill. And this is not one of Korine’s skills. The guy can shoot. His trailers look amazing. But 124 pages steeped in redundant flashbacks and characters never speaking to each other is not entertaining storytelling. And that’s what was so frustrating. This has the potential to be a kick ass story. On paper the characters sound crazy and fun. But in practice, they’re quiet and boring.
The biggest problem is that I never knew who Rico was. He never spoke. He never acted in a way that gave me insight into him. That’s one of the easiest things to do, guys. If you want to tell us who your protagonist is, have them perform an action that represents them. If you’re writing an asshole character, have him cut everybody at Starbucks. If you’re writing a cowardly character, make him back down from the guy who cuts everyone in Starbucks. If you’re writing an irresponsible character, have him run out of gas on the drive to Starbucks because he always waits til the last minute to do anything.
Your protagonist is your movie. If he’s not working, your movie isn’t going to work. So you need to get him right above all else. Rico is so passive in this movie, he disappears off the page whenever his name isn’t mentioned. You don’t even remember the guy. This is why I tell writers to avoid passive heroes. There have been a few of them who have worked throughout history, but 99% of the time, they don’t. Make your hero active. Because if he’s sitting around reacting to things, as is the case here, audiences aren’t going to care about him. I know I didn’t. Korine may be bummed out this movie didn’t get made. But I see it as a blessing in disguise.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] Larry the Lyft Driver would’ve liked it
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Flashbacks are the devil. They really are. They rarely, if ever, push the plot forward. They kill story momentum. They’re the laziest form of backstory. They should include this script in screenwriting classes for why flashbacks should never be used.
