Note: This review was originally posted in my Newsletter a few months ago. When I originally read this script a long time back, I thought it was pretty darn good. Then I found out the casting and my excitement died immediately, which is reflected in this more recent review. Jaime Foxx as the president?? The ubiquitous Channing Tatum in the title role? That eliminated any chances that I’d go to the theater to see this. Anyway, I decided to re-post it today since it’s the Fourth of July and I’m not putting a new post up. Interested how the big spec sale translated to the scene so if you saw it, chime in. To get early reviews of screenplays, sign up for the Scriptshadow Newsletter, which is sent every Thursday.
Genre: Action
Premise: (from IMDB) A Secret Service agent is tasked with saving the life of the U.S. President after the White House is overtaken by a paramilitary group (which I assume means terrorists).
About: Pitched as “Die Hard in the White House,” James Vanderbilt sold his spec to Sony for the biggest sale of 2012, at 3 million bucks! You know when you can make even Dan Fogelman jealous, you’re doing a good job. A few things to note here. Vanderbilt has written some huge screenplays, including Spider-Man 3. Also, he writes for Sony (Spider-Man is a Sony film) which means he has a pre-established relationship with the studio, and likely had been informed of exactly the kind of movie(s) they were looking for. All of this plays into the paycheck. But even that combination doesn’t guarantee a 3 million dollar payday. There are plenty of other top-notch writers trying to pull off a sale like this and failing. So what was the secret to this one? It must be a pretty good script, right?
Writer: James Vanderbilt
Details: 142 pages – March 1, 2012 (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).
You might have recently seen the Olympus Has Fallen trailers. “Olympus” is a competing project to “White House” that sold at around the same time for 600k. They then raced that sucker into production as it’s on its way into theaters in a few weeks. While the early bird catches the worm, it doesn’t always catch the quality film. “Olympus” looks like a frat house bathroom at the end of a clean-cycle. There isn’t a single original shot in that trailer. The helicopter shots and explosions alone look like they were pulled from a stock video website.
Well, turns out White House Down caught the “rushed into production” bug as well, as it’s debuting this summer, landing Channing Tatum and Jaime Foxx in the lead roles. Not sure a few extra months will make a difference in quality control. But I can tell you this: “White House Down” is the better script.
Low-level security agent slash divorcee John Cale’s life isn’t going so well. He’s divorced. Doesn’t see his daughter very much. Doesn’t have a job. Yup, not good times. Luckily, he’s landed a rare day with his daughter, 10 year old Emily, whose claim to fame is being a CNN buff (it’s her favorite Ipad App). He’s decided to finally give her the gift of her dreams – a tour of the White House.
Cale’s also being a little sneaky, as he’s doubling up this tour with a job interview at the house. Hey, why not kill two birds with one stone? Although this two-for-one special pretty much encapsulates why Cale’s flying solo. Dude needs to start paying more attention to his family. Well, he’ll get his chance soon enough.
That’s because while taking a stroll through the White House, a series of explosions start rocking the wings. In another section, fun-loving president James Sawyer is rushed to the White House equivalent of a panic room. But before he can get inside, his head of security turns a gun on him. It turns out HE’S orchestrating this! Just as he’s about to put a bullet in the president, Cale comes screeching out of nowhere, providing just enough of a distraction to grab the prez and Harlem Shuffle it to another area.
In addition to protecting the president, Cale’s got to find his daughter, who was in the bathroom at the time of the attack. But the options are limited. With the head of security knowing just about everything there is to know about the White House, he’s able to bring backup mercenaries in, leaving all the major rooms occupied by gun-wielding trouble-makers!
Outside, everyone’s trying to figure out what the hell is going on. When they hear that the president is alive, being guarded by some secret service reject, their confidence is shaken. But they come up with a plan whereby the president and Cale will head to a little known escape hatch that leads to a series of secret tunnels Roosevelt built hundreds of years ago or something.
Naturally, things don’t go as planned, and in a spectacular firefight in the White House backyard (spoiler) the president is killed! Or at least, that’s how it LOOKS. It turns out the president actually escaped and is able to get back inside with Cale. Except now they don’t have any communication with the outside. And since the outside believes the president to be dead, they order a missile strike on the White House to take out the terrorists in 45 minutes. YIKES! Talk about a tight ticking time bomb. So will Cale get the president out alive? Will he save his daughter as well? Locate this 3 million dollar spec and find out for yourselves or get ready to line up in June.
White House Down was a cool spec. It’s got problems. Like that it’s way too long. And you don’t always know what’s going on. And the ending is a little confusing (“Ehhh, wait, what was the bad guy’s plan again??”). But it got the “fun” part right. And when you compare it to all the other Die Hard clones that have come out since the original film debuted 25 years ago, White House Down ranks up there with the best of them script-wise. I mean, it’s a thousand times better than “A Good Day To Die Hard,” that’s for sure.
There’s just some really good writing for a “blockbuster spec.” I noticed this early on in the scene that takes Cale into the White House for a job interview while ALSO setting up a tour with his daughter. Amateur writers probably would’ve separated these scenes, having Cale go somewhere else for a security detail interview, then after that, bring his daughter to the White House for the tour. The problem is, separating those scenes takes up more space. Which is why you want to combine scenes whenever possible – to keep your story moving swiftly. But what’s really cool about this scene is that Vanderbilt uses it to set up the distance between Cale and his daughter.
Most amateur writers, when writing huge action specs, avoid the emotional component. But these relationships are what anchor the story, what make it relatable and real, which is why you want to incorporate them. I particularly found the sentence from Cale’s ex, “She doesn’t even like you,” (in reference to their daughter) to be affecting. It sets up how far apart these two are, and it makes us want to stick around until they’ve made up.
I also liked some less-obvious touches, like the physical tour itself. The scene is designed as a way to establish the father-daughter relationship. Her bursting enthusiasm for the experience convinces us that maybe there’s hope for these two. But what the tour’s really doing is laying out the White House blueprints for the audience to set up what will happen down the line. There are certain details about the house we’ll need to know so we’re oriented when the shit hits the presidential fan.
There were some cool story choices as well. I liked how it was unclear if the president was dead half the time, leaving it unclear who had the authority to do what and how much authority they had. The Vice-President assumes the role of Commander-In-Chief if the prez bites it. But what happens when you’re not sure if the prez bit it or not? It’s the kind of uncertainty that I could see really happening in that situation, and I loved that attention to detail.
On the downside, there are way too many freaking characters here. Do we really need to see what happens to the Speaker Of The House? I mean we’re bouncing all over the place to a character list bigger than the entire Chinese population. Snippy snip snip all those characters away and you won’t have a 140 page spec (more important for you guys, of course, than guys like James Vanderbilt). There were one too many set-piece scenes as well, which could’ve lowered the page count. I was constantly confused about the geography of that backyard battle in particular, and didn’t see it as an ideal setting for the primary action scene. I would’ve K.O.’d it.
Still, this is really good stuff as far as blockbuster spec writing. I wouldn’t mark it as an “impressive,” but I’d tell you to read it if it showed up at your door.
[ ] Wait for the rewrite
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: You ever notice that main character’s lives aren’t going so well when we meet them? That’s because if their lives WERE going well, there’d be nothing to fix. Who wants to watch a character who already has everything figured out? Start your movie with a protagonist whose life is in the shitter then use your story to fix them.
