While the trades couldn’t stop talking about all those Marvel and Star Wars projects announced Thursday, a much bigger story wasn’t being talked about at all. That is the story of Disney dropping the hammer down on Netflix. There was nothing that announcement said more than, “We’re coming for you.” Specifically, Disney plans to show Netflix how powerful big IP is. Seriously, guys, this feels like when everyone had a Blackberry and Apple announced they were moving into the phone market. That’s how much Netflix needs to be freaking out. There are lots of people out there who don’t know Disney + exists. That’s about to change with this lineup, which I’m going to go over with you.
But I’m only going to go over the Star Wars stuff. I’m not enough of a Marvel fan to care about their shows. I can’t tell if Wandavision looks interesting or just plain weird. I’ve seen two trailers now and I still don’t know what the show is about. Falcon and Winter Soldier feels like a spinoff of the guys nobody cared about in the movies. If I were forced to watch one of the Marvel shows, I’d probably choose Loki. That one looks like they’re having a lot of fun.
ROGUE SQUADRON (MOVIE)
Rogue Squadron may be the single safest choice Disney could’ve made coming back to the Star Wars feature world with. Everything about this movie screams “neutral.” The director, Patty Jenkins, is neutral. The subject matter, pilots, is neutral. The title is neutral. This is obviously an overcorrection after all the divisive Star Wars content that came out over the last six years. And for that reason, the movie just doesn’t sound that exciting. When I think of a movie about pilots, I think of being stuck with someone in a cockpit for two hours. Why would I want to watch that? There’s some cool backstory here about how Jenkins’ father was a fighter pilot and died in the line of duty. So it’s not just like they’re bringing in anyone to tell the story. Jenkins has an emotional connection to the material. But something tells me this movie’s purpose isn’t to be good, but rather as inoffensive as possible.
ANDOR (SHOW)
For a movie that reportedly put endless amounts of blood, sweat, and tears into its character creation, there wasn’t a single memorable character to come out of Rogue One. For that reason, when they originally announced Andor, I thought it was only a matter of time before they cancelled it. But by gosh, according to this teaser, they’re still making the thing! While there is some appeal in a character who exists in the seedy underbelly of the Star Wars universe, we kind of already have that with Mandalorian. I don’t know. Maybe Mando will let Andor borrow Baby Yoda for a few episodes. That’s the only way I see people watching this thing. Or give Moroff more time. Team him up with Babu Frik. Now you’re talking.
NO BOBA FETT SHOW
One of the most shocking announcements of the Disney Investor Day was a non-announcement. They’re making ten new Star Wars shows and one of them isn’t Boba Fett?? Something smells womp ratty here. My guess is that they’re on the fence with whether to give Fett his own movie or his own TV show and they still haven’t come to a decision. They probably wanted to see how audiences responded to him on the Mandalorian first. Another possibility is he stays on Mandalorian. With the rumors of Pascal wanting out of the role, we may be gearing up for a season finale shocker of Mando dying and Boba taking his place? That would be wild.
LANDO (LIMITED SERIES HOPING TO BECOME A FULL SHOW)
Okay okay okay okay okay. Let me get this straight. Solo was the biggest Star Wars bomb ever. Donald Glover was utterly forgettable as young Lando in the film. And now you want to make a series about the character? I suppose they haven’t announced Glover in the role which means they might recast it. But this is where someone needs to step in and say, “Just because we can make 50 different Star Wars shows doesn’t mean we have to.” Can’t we just put Lando in that Andor show? Get rid of two characters we don’t care about in the same show? That’s my vote.
ASHOKA
Ashoka won me over in Episode 5 of The Mandalorian so I’m down for her getting her own show. Also, what Disney plans to do is have crossovers between Ashoka, Mandalorian, and a third show called Rangers of the New Republic. That one is going to star Cara Dunne, the MMA fighter girl from Mandalorian. They’re going to need to find some more characters though cause if they’re resting that show on the acting chops of Gina Carano, that’s going to be a quick one-season-and-out, I can promise you that. But I do like the idea of crossing over. Star Wars is finally getting a chance to do what Marvel’s been doing for years.
HAYDEN IS BACK AND HE FINALLY HAS THE HIGH GROUND!
It was announced that Hayden Christensen will be back as Darth Vader in the Obi-Wan Kenobi limited series. I guess that’s cool news. Hayden was one of those actors who got infected by the Star Wars curse. He hasn’t done much work since Episode 3. And yet I’m kinda surprised he’s coming back. It’s a role he ran away from after the prequels. He’ll be acting under a mask when he does return. And then there’s that whole problem about Darth Vader saying he hasn’t felt that presence “in a long time” in regards to Obi-Wan in A New Hope. Well, apparently, if Disney has their way, “a long time” is going to end up being last week.
THE ACOLYTE
This is that Leslye Headland project, which we’ve now learned will take place during the “High Republic,” or 200 years before the prequels. While I was confused why they gave Headland (noted for her dark indie sensibilities) a Star Wars show in the first place, things are starting to make sense, as her show is supposed to focus on the dark side of the Force. Also of note, this is going to be the first of what Disney hopes to be lots of projects coming out of this era. Headland will be spearheading a whole new mythology with fresh unique characters we haven’t seen before. Although you bet your ass Yoda will somehow show up in one of the episodes. By the way, an acolyte is a person assisting the celebrant in a religious service or procession. For whatever that’s worth.
REST OF PROJECTS
Taika’s movie was mentioned (which is being written by the co-writer of 1917, btw) and it looks like it’s going to be the second Star Wars film released after Rogue Squadron. I’m reading the tea leaves here but doesn’t this smack of the same issues the feature side of Star Wars was dealing with before? A lack of vision? We’re going to do a fighter pilot Star Wars and then we’re going to do a weird Taika Star Wars and then we’re going to do that Kevin Feige Star Wars. Whereas, on the TV side, they have a clear plan, they still seem lost when it comes to movies. Oh, I almost forgot. The new Indiana Jones movie! You gotta love how much Harrison Ford loves Indiana Jones. The guy’s landing planes on taxiways but nothing’s going to stop him from playing Indiana Jones again yer darn tootin. I would love to hear your pitches for another Indiana Jones flick. What else is there for him to do??
