Genre: Comedy I guess?
Premise: (this logline is from IMDB) THE CURSE is a genre-bending scripted comedy that explores how an alleged curse disturbs the relationship of a newly married couple as they try to conceive a child while co-starring on their problematic new HGTV show
About: Today’s pilot script comes from Benny Safdie and Nathan Fielder. Benny is obviously one half of the directing team behind Uncut Gems. Fielder had a show called Nathan For You. Somehow, these two kidnapped Emma Stone to be on this show, which will come out on Showtime.
Writers: Benny Safdie & Nathan Fielder
Details: 41 pages
I’m a HUMONGOUS fan of the Safdie Bros work ever since I was dragged, kicking and screaming, to a special screening of Good Time. My date kept insisting, “They’re supposed to be the next big thing in directing.” I rolled my eyes. “You know how many times I’ve heard someone anointed as the next big thing in directing?”
Flash-forward three hours and I felt like I’d just had a religious experience. Wow was that movie good. But what happens when two Safdies become… one Safdie? Does this show still have a chance? Since I’m writing this paragraph after I’ve read the pilot, I can tell you that it definitely does not.
36 year old Asher is a hipster type who’s married to 35 year old Whitney. What do these two do? Since I’ve written several drafts trying to summarize the plot and failed, I’ll let the script explain it to you. Here, Asher and Whitney, who flip houses, are being interviewed by a local newsperson about their job. Here’s how that interaction goes….
Yes, Asher and Whitney have a reality show where they flip houses and partner with companies to bring high-end stores into low-income neighborhoods and then give a small portion of the jobs from those stores to local people, which they then document for their TV show.
Right. Great stuff.
Anyway, I get the feeling that Asher and his co-worker, Dougie, are supposed to be like Dumb and Dumber, maybe? For example, Whitney sends them out to get some B-roll and encourages them to film stuff that makes them look good. So Dougie films a shot of Asher giving a homeless woman $100.
Once they get the shot, Asher runs back to the homeless woman and confides in her that he accidentally gave her $100 when he meant to only give her $20. So he asks for the $100 back. And, after he takes it back, she yells at him that she’s put a curse on him. That’s right folks. As if we didn’t already have enough going in this show, they have decided to now add a curse storyline.
And that’s the setup for The Curse.
Yesterday, I reviewed a script that everybody should read in order to become a better screenwriter.
Today, I’m reviewing a pilot that everybody should also read to become a better screenwriter.
There’s one difference.
Read yesterday’s script to see WHAT TO DO. Read today’s script to see WHAT NOT TO DO. And when I say, “not to do,” I mean “NOT TO DO!!!!!” I don’t think there’s a single good creative choice that was made in this pilot. It’s really really REALLY bad. Bordering on Mattson Tomlin bad. Bordering on ‘they’re going to be embarrassed when they put this on the air and people see it’ bad.
Whenever people aren’t vibing with your script, it can usually be traced back to the concept. If the concept is weak or messy or boring or stupid, you’re building everything that follows – your characters, your plot, your dialogue – on a shaky foundation. So it doesn’t matter whether your plot or your dialogue works. We’ve already decided the show sucks.
I would put The Curse up there as one of the most misguided show ideas I’ve ever come across. Bear with me for a second as I explain this show to you. It’s about a group of people who flip houses and who also build upscale stores in low-income neighborhoods and who also have a reality show that follows them around while doing this and who also have one of their production team members get cursed by a witch.
Marinate on that for a second.
Just throwing out thoughts right now.
But did it ever occur to anyone who was a part of this project that, oh, I don’t know, there’s like 1500 too many things going on in this show?!?
For crying out loud PICK ONE THING. Talk about confusing. I didn’t even know it was possible to come up with a show this confusing.
Was Emma Stone conned into this? Did she read this script? Did anybody pitch it to her? Cause the only thing that makes sense is that she was friends with either Nathan Fielder or Benny Safdie and joined the show cause they asked. Because I would bet my life that there is NO WAY any actress who read this part, much less one with as many choices as Emma Stone, would sign onto this.
I might be okay with all this plot noise if the show was funny. But there are so many confusing ideas clashing with each other here that you’re not even sure what genre of comedy you’re watching. Is it lowbrow comedy, satire, broad comedy? Feels to me like mish-mash random desperateness comedy. During one two-minute period, we see two men’s penises. One, a close up while going to the bathroom. Another, when an older gentleman purposely has his penis hanging out of his pants. I’m guessing this passes for comedy somewhere. But you’d be hard-pressed to tell me where.
The NUMBER ONE SCREENWRITING MISTAKE I SEE is writers OVERCOMPLICATING THEIR STORY. Period. That’s it. That’s the biggest recurring mistake I see, and I see it, literally, a dozen times a month. And writers never learn. They think more equals better.
That’s not the case with screenwriting. More equals messier. More equals clumsier. More equals more confusinger. There’s so much shit going on in this story, it never had a chance.
I don’t see why I have to write anything else. There are no more lessons to learn here.
Listen to me if you want success in your screenwriting career: STOP OVERCOMPLICATING YOUR STORIES. Pick a clean easy to understand idea, then populate it with some kick-ass characters. That’s it. That’s the formula for TV.
[x] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: This was my biggest fear when we moved from a 100 TV Show industry to a 700 TV show industry. Is that the writing talent would get so watered down, we’d have to wade through 50 terrible TV shows just to find one good one. The Curse should rename itself to The Worst. Cause it may be the worst of those 700 shows.
