Genre: Political Thriller
Synopsis: A team of investigative reporters work alongside a police detective to try to solve the murder of a congressman’s mistress
About: Hitting theaters a week from Friday and landing on the 2007 Blacklist as the number 2 most popular script.
Writer: Matthew Michael Carnahan – Revisions by Billy Ray, Tony Gilroy, and Peter Morgan.

State of Play may be coming to theaters in a couple of weeks but why wait that long when you can get the lowdown right here and now. I won’t even charge you ten dollars. And yeah, it’s the shooting script. So we’re talking a shot-for-shot match here baby.

As I mentioned before, State of Play was the number 2 script on the 2007 Black List. Right behind a little script called “Brigands of Rattleborge”, which just so happens to be number 6 over there on my Top 25. Why isn’t State of Play above it? Cause I never read the damn thing. Everything about it sounded boring as hell. Look at the title: “State of Play”. What the hell does that even mean?? It’s stupid. And the logline doesn’t help matters: “A team of investigative reporters work alongside a police detective to try to solve the murder of a congressman’s mistress.” Ooh, can’t wait to dive into that one. If anything, it seemed like State of Play was trying its best NOT to interest me. Operation Success.

But then that damn trailer hit in high definition and my interest did a 180. This looked like a real movie. And I mean come on. Any film that believes its good enough to survive a Ben Affleck casting has got to be awesome. All of a sudden “State of Play” sounded kind of cool. The title began to make sense. It’s like a “state” of “play”. Or the “play” that goes on in the “state”. Meaning like the government. Clearly works on many levels.

I think you know by now what this film is about. A woman’s been killed, hit by a morning subway train, and that woman is linked to congressman Stephen Collins. The problem with this is that Collins is married. When he finds out that the woman has been killed, he’s put in a rough spot. His heart is broken because he loved this girl. But he can’t emote because he has a wife. On top of that, he has to survive the media’s determination to turn it into a scandal or his career is over.

Cal, the seasoned reporter, just so happens to be old friends with Collins. The paper knows this and comes down hard on him. They have a chance to break a huge story with inside information if only Cal does what Cal needs to do. So Cal is put in that classic reporter predicament. Do I do my job or do I help a friend? That’s the central theme of State of Play and it keeps poking its head up the deeper Cal digs. It’s also why I don’t love this script. I don’t exactly have sympathy for a character who’s willing to sell his friend out to get a goddamn newspaper story.

Luckily State of Play focuses just as much time on its mystery – and its mystery is a good one. Turns out the woman who was pushed in front of the train wasn’t just a congressional aid. She was working for a corporation called Pointcorp that has begun privatizing armies to fight in the Middle East with further plans to privatize armies and even government here in the United States. Collins, who is vehemently against privatization, is lobbying congress to stop these corporations. So Pointcorp bought this woman to relay all of Collins’ secrets.

In the meantime, Collins’ wife ain’t as mad as she should be. In fact, she’s more humiliated than angry. And it certainly doesn’t help matters that she’s sleeping with Cal. Yes, Collins’ best friend and newspaper reporter Cal. So you can see how intricate and complicated all of this gets.

Somehow Cal has to navigate this jungle to get the story, as well as avoid Pointcorp, who’s willing to do anything to make sure the story doesn’t break – putting almost everybody’s life in jeopardy. And of course in the end, he has to make that decision. Get the story or keep the friend?

I liked State Of Play. I thought it was well done for a genre I don’t particularly like. But if I were a reporter, the story I’d be breaking is just how behind the times State of Play is. Rachel McAdams (my favorite actress EVER behind Audrey Hepburn) plays web blogger Della, who seems to be thrown in the mix for the sole purpose of feeling “current”. But if you eliminated her character it wouldn’t affect anything because the whole drive of the movie revolves around Cal trying to get the story in by print time for tomorrow’s paper. Um, excuse me, but when the fuck does that happen anymore? Someone gets shot these days and five minutes later it’s on Youtube. Stories get written in real time, published as keys are being pressed. When the hell do they have “newspaper deadlines” for breaking news anymore? In that sense, this could be the last time (sans period pieces) they make a movie like this. I think it also inspires a curiosity for a movie that fully explores the behind-the-scenes going-ons of the lightning fast news world of today. There’s a good movie to be written there.

Even so, State of Play is a solid thriller and a script worth reading – even with the knowledge that Ben Affleck is playing one of the leads. :)

[ ] trash
[ ] barely kept my interest
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from State Of Play: One thing I do when I’m enjoying a script is trace back to where the feeling started. It’s a great way to learn what works in a screenplay. In this case, a nameless woman is killed by a subway train. That’s not necessarily interesting. We meet Collins, who’s told that one of his assistants, a woman, was hit by a subway car. His reaction tells us there was something between them but we don’t know what. This makes the script more interesting but not necessarily “I have to keep reading” interesting. It’s when we see Collins break down in the press conference and learn that not only did he have a sexual relationship with this girl, but that he’s married. That’s when we become truly interested. Because we’re intrigued by characters who are put in terrible and/or complex situations. Because these situations force our character to make a difficult choice. And that choice is always interesting, whether we agree with it or not. What does he say to his wife? Does he tell her the truth? What does he say to the media? Does he tell *them* the truth? What does he tell his friends? And in the case of State of Play, what does he tell his friend who works for the very people he can’t tell anything to (the media). You see how complicated and interesting this gets? That’s good writing.

Genre: Spy Thriller
Synopsis: A CIA agent discovers there’s a Russian spy deep inside the organization.
About: This is that infamous project that Tom Cruise was attached to but then got booted off of. Since it’s disaster central for any profile-dropping A-Lister to get booted off a project, Tom’s robots did spin control and all of a sudden Tom hadn’t been let go from the project, he had dropped out of the project. To make matters even more bizarre, he was replaced by Angelina Jolie. Yes, cause that makes sense. There’s an old screenplay adage that goes: If you’re all out of ideas, change the gender of your protagonist. A new world of possibilities will open up. Let’s see what opens up when Angelina Jolie becomes Edwin A Salt.
Writer: Kurt Wimmer

I’m going to tell you to do something I’ve never told you to do before on Scriptshadow. Don’t read this review. Instead, scroll to the bottom, download the script, read it, then come back. Because as Randy Jackson would say, this script was off the hook. I don’t want the review to spoil anything for you. So go read it, come back, and we’ll talk.

Go.

…

Did you read it?

Okay good. We’re ready to have a discussion.

Wasn’t that awesome??? I love Salt. Before? I was just a bland tasteless meal. Then Salt came along and gave me flavor. Even though I’m not normally into spies and double crossing and undercover agents, I couldn’t help but get wrapped up in this badass thriller. I’m an 80s child so the second you start saying things like Cold War and Soviet Union, I’m so right there. Cause I lived it man. I LIVED IT. You think it was easy waking up every day knowing you could get bombed at any second by the Ruskies? Yeah well that was my life.

Salt starts out introducing us to CIA officer Edwin A. Salt and his CIA best friend, Winter. Salt is planning a birthday party for his daughter and he wants it to be the best birthday party ever. Unfortunately, the two have to make a quick detour over to headquarters, and that’s when shit starts going bad. Salt’s CIA position isn’t exactly the top of the food chain. He’s been assigned to Russia, and these days the only Cold War going on is in Putin’s pants if you know what I’m talking about (no, I don’t know either). So normally Salt wouldn’t have much to do. However, a strange Russian man approaches the building and insists Salt hear his story. Salt’s pissed because he has his daughter’s birthday party but work is work and he brings the man in.

The Russian tells him of a secret Russian weapon created back during the Cold War. This weapon was a man – the creme de la creme of soviet espionage. Did you ever see Conan The Barbarian? When Conan has to turn that wheel for like 20 years of his life? Well this guy would’ve walked right over him and gone for another 20. They made this man the smartest, toughest, deadliest, coolest, most perfect spy in the world. His name was “Chekov”, and at age 17, they sent him to the United States to infiltrate the U.S. Government. After 20 years, he has embedded himself so deep inside the CIA, that he has access to every single document in the building. But he’s only looking for one. A document called KA-88. KA-88 is a trigger scenario the U.S. developed in anticipation of its enemies that shows the one weakness in our government/economy that would cause our country to crumble within weeks. Doomsday for America. Chekov has finally gotten clearence to obtain that document. Oh, and one more thing, the Russian says. “You are Chekov.”

Holy shit! DO I HAVE YOUR FUCKING ATTENTION?? I sure have my own. Winter is shocked. His best friend is now his worst enemy. Or is he? Salt swears he knows nothing about this. Yet Salt is in the CIA – he’s one of the best trained liars in the world. So is he lying to cover his lies? Or is he telling the truth? Salt realizes that this case isn’t going to trial. It’s likely going to be decided right here and now. And in the best case scenario, he’s going to be dead. So he flees the building. That, of course, is where the brilliance of the script lies. As Salt goes on the run, we not only don’t know if Salt’s lying to Winter. We don’t know if he’s lying to us. Who is Edwin A. Salt?

Every once in awhile a script comes along that reminds you that what you thought was good writing, was actually only mildly acceptable writing. You are immersed in this world from the get-go. You visualize the movie on each page. The only criticisms I have are that they forgo a lot of the mystery in the last 40 pages and go a little heavy on the action. Still, the ending highway plane take-off scene is going to be IN-SAYNE. This script is a badass recipient of Wimmer’s awesomeness. Loved it.

I don’t know what’s happening lately. All these scripts are making my Top 25. Salt slides into lucky number 21!

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from Salt: The last two scripts, which both made it into my Top 25, had very similar structures. Both had one scene where you met the characters, then the very next scene the movie goes on a torrid pace and never lets up. There’s something to be said for scripts that start up fast and keep you on a quick pace the whole way through. Of course they have to be done well to work, but as a spec, I think they have a better chance of capturing someone’s interest than a script that takes its time.

Genre: Indy Dramedy
Synopsis: A lovestruck nerd learns you have 500,000 chances to live a fulfilled life or you go to hell. He’s only got 2 chances left.
About: Blacklist 08.
Writer: Sam Esmail

“Sequels” wants you to know that it’s different. No, I mean it really wants you to know that it’s different. The writer/main character (as it’s implied they’re one and the same) tells you right off the bat that he plans to be different. He is about to write something the likes of which you have never experienced before. And I think he succeeds. But Sequels is not as daring and different as it tries to be. As it happens, it’s just different enough.

I have a certain admiration for Sam Esmail. He starts off with these huge chunks of narration and while I’ve seen that before, Esmail never lets up. He just keeps on going. And going and going. The writer of Amelie is disgusted by how much voice over is in this script. In fact, I’d venture that over 65% of his script is narration. As most people pursuing screenwriting know, voice over is considered the butchered technique of a hack and is to be avoided at all costs. For Esmail to so blantlantly use the technique is a big fuck you to the industry, and a big fuck you to writing itself. Anybody writing an anti-love letter to the industry is fine by my standards. I couldn’t help but be immediately intrigued.

The script starts off showing us what a miserable life JR has. He’s desperately in love with Robyn, a girl who will never love him back. She entertains his company more out of pity than interest, gets high with him, and somehow the effects of the weed never die off on JR. He is high for the rest of his life (weird, I know. And no, he doesn’t play this up for cheap pot humor either. In fact, it has little to no effect on the rest of the story) So after 30 years of a miserable life (and always being high), he steps in front of a truck and kills himself. He is then transported to heaven – or at least what he thinks is heaven. It’s actually just a holding point. The 13th president of the United States (now an angel/agent) informs him that you have 500,000 chances to live a complete and fulfilled life (known as “vim”) and that JR has killed himself 499,998 times. He’s got two chances left to achieve vim. Therefore (in his mind), if he doesn’t find a way to get Robyn, he’ll never be happy, kill himself 2 more times, and be sent to hell. (as a side note, I would highly suggest Mr. Esmail watch the Albert Brooks film “Defending Your Life” as this whole portion of the story is an almost beat for beat remake of that film.)

The script doesn’t cop out. It doesn’t spin around and give you a big happy smiley ending. He does get Robyn and they do get married. But just like JR will always be JR, Robyn will always be Robyn. She doesn’t love him. And when she starts banging every cable guy, pool cleaner, tennis pro in sight, JR realizes he’s more miserable now than when he never got Robyn at all. Man, I’m getting depressed just typing this stuff.

What I couldn’t get over is that Sequels doesn’t just wear its desire to be different on its sleeve. It wears it on its whole damn wardrobe. It wants so bad to be unique, defy convention, poke fun at itself, create something that’s never been seen before, that you’re focusing more on these attempts than the actual story itself. Esmail seems to want to create a modern day Citizen Kane here (a film that also notoriously defied convention). But let’s be honest. This ain’t no Citizen Kane.

I give credit to Sequels for trying though. It stands out in a sea of scripts that don’t have an inkling of originality to them and that was enough to put it ahead of the pack (and on the 2008 Black List). I think Sam Esmail is an interesting writer and could potentially create something great. But for that, we may have to wait for the sequel. :)

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from Sequels, Remakes and Adaptations: This one reminds me of 500 Days Of Summer. Be original. Find a new way to tell the same story. Sequels is essentially a tragic love story. But Esmail approaches it from a completely different angle.

Genre: Dramedy
Synopsis: 5 strangers get stuck at the airport together.
About: Yes, this is the infamous “remake” of The Breakfast Club
Writer: Lizzy Weiss

Okay I have a suggestion to the people realeasing this film. Do not, under any circumstances, let any media print that this is in any way related to The Breakfast Club. Like me. Come to my place right now, break down my door, and force me to log into my blog and erase this paragraph. Cause I’m telling you right now, you do not want people comparing this to The Breakfast Club. It’s like comparing a cracker to a croissant. It is really not a good idea. Every time I read a line – heck every time a character’s name came up – I thought, “How does that compare to The Breakfast Club.” So please do that ASAP. For your own good. Now on to the review…

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and five strangers decide to “bump” themselves to the next flight in order to snag some free tickets. We learn that the reason for their bumping is that each is having their own issues back home which prevent them from being in any sort of hurry to get there. A few more hours in the middle of nowhere is better than a few extra hours in hell. Hey, I think we can all relate.

The five characters sort of “bump” into each other, as you sometimes do at an airport, and begin a seriously accelerated group friendship. There’s C.C., 21. Poor C.C.’s in love with a guy who will only ever see her as a friend. Tabitha, 20s, is a stuck up bitch with a high-paying job. She’s engaged to the Cuban-born Omar, a dirt poor musician. Then there’s Max, 20s, a guy who’s been swallowed up by a job that sends him everywhere in the world but home. And finally (and most unfortunately), there’s Eleanor. Eleanor is a mini-celebrity, has 1.5 million myspace friends, and her alias is…yes…Veronica Vodka (consider yourself lucky if you don’t know the real-life person she’s portraying). I’ll get to that in a bit.

Max and C.C. hit it off immediately. Omar and Tabitha start their rift soonafter. And Eleanor pokes and prods into everyone’s life – though she’s mostly interested in Omar. For the most part, Bumped is like a reverse Breakfast Club. Whereas everyone started off hating each other in that movie, then slowly grew closer, everyone in bumped starts off liking each other before slowly breaking apart. Of course they all come back together in the end, but it’s interesting how they approach the genre from a different angle.

I think the biggest faux pas in the script is Tila Tequila – er, I mean Veronika Vodka. Cause you see, once you include a celebrity in your story, the story is no longer about people. It’s about people…and a celebrity. It peels away some of that real life autheticity. Sure it’s possible that you could run into a celebrity at the airport and start hanging out, but it’s unlikely, and actually comes off as a bit of a gimmick.

The dialogue – which started out pretty standard – improves tremendously as the script goes on. In The Breakfast Club, there are about 30 classic lines. Most movies would be lucky to have 1. So I’m not going to hold that against Bumped. But as the relationships became deeper, the truth starts coming out, and that’s when the dialogue began to soar. Sure, the situations are a little heavy on the drama, but it worked. Why? Because they’re in an airport. And for people like me (who don’t live in them), an airport is a very emotional place. It means you’re going home, or going to meet somebody important, or heading back for the holidays, all things that force you to deal with and assess where you are (and who you are) in life. I am never more emotionally schizophranic than the moment I step into an airport.

In the end, Max helps C.C. realize she’s spending her life being more than a little pathetic (turns out that guy she liked “borrowed” 500 dollars out of her account – for a weekend with another girl no less). C.C. helps Max realize that his work is preventing him from having a life. Omar and Tabitha realize they aren’t meant to be together. And Veronica Vodka? Poor girl realizes that she can’t hide behind her celebrity anymore and that maybe she misses what it feels like to be a “normal” person.

I have to admit, Bumped got to me. There was a moment about 60% in where I realized I was truly emotionally invested in this group. I mean, it’s still no Breakfast Club. But you know what? It doesn’t have to be.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[xx] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from Bumped: Make sure to connect your characters to their setting, whatever it is. Had these five been stuck at a laundromat, for example, it wouldn’t have been nearly as powerful.

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Synopsis: A bald overweight TSA screener, Kirk, somehow lands Molly, the most beautiful girl ever.

About: Despite Kirk’s description as “bald and overweight”, Judd Apatow alum Jay Baruchel will be playing the lead in this. God are these Freaks and Geeks guys kissing the ground that Apatow walks on or what? There isn’t a comedy that comes out these days without one of them.

Writers: Sean Anders & John Morris

I wouldn’t say this was the most hilarious script I’ve ever read. But what it lacked in the laugh department it made up for in sweetness. At its core, the story is about the insecure guy inside all of us struggling for acceptance. What we tend to forget, however, is that true acceptance doesn’t come from others. It comes from within.

She’s Out of My League spends a hell of a lot of time making it very clear to us that Molly is way out of Kirk’s league. She’s constantly being hit on whenever they’re together because, well, everyone assumes that Kirk and Molly can’t possibly be together. He’s kicked out of restaurants as owners assume she must be a high-class escort. He’s tackled by cops who assume he’s a random pervert. It goes on and on and on and a lot of it, I have to admit, is pretty funny. But at a certain point you have to say, “Okay, you’ve made your point. She’s out of his league!”

Although I loved Kirk, the writers at times try to make him a little too lovable. He’s so low on the family totem-pole that he’s been resigned to the butt of all jokes. His brother is a total asshole. His parents like his ex-girlfriend so much that they’ve adopted her into the family, along with her new boyfriend! And through all this, Kirk takes it in stride, accepting it for what it is. We’re meant to feel sorry for him but in the end, he comes out looking like a little too much of a schlub. We wanna grab him and scream, “Stick up for yourself! Say something!” But he never does. I wouldn’t have minded if they’d given him something – anything – to rough him up a little. Make him not soooo perfect, ya know? Even the best people have faults.

Kirk spends much of the movie trying to figure out why Molly is with him. Is this some kind of bet? Is it a misunderstanding? His best friend Stainer, an anger management candidate if there ever was one, is convinced she’s a terrorist, befriending him in order to circumvent security. But the truth is, Molly’s just sick of all the jerks she usually goes out with. Kirk is first genuine guy she’s met in…well, ever.

It is an interesting question. Is it possible for a relationship like this to exist? I’m not sure She’s Out Of My League gets to the bottom of that , but it certainly tackled the kinds of situations a couple like this would find themselves in.

The script moves along nicely and I don’t really have any complaints except that I felt they missed an opportunity in the end. As we all know, every romantic comedy ends with someone running to the airport. And here, he *works* at an airport. So there was such potential to come up with a unique ending. Like maybe he has to race to her house (away from the airport). Or maybe he does have to run to the airport, only to get stuck at…SECURITY (he’s a TSA screener). You know, something like that.

But all in all it was a fun script. And maybe with Kevin James’ newfound fame, it’s a role he might be interested in (Jonah Hill also comes to mind). Otherwise, I don’t know if this has the teeth to make it to the big screen.

note: I wrote this before knowing that it had been made into a movie. I like Jay Baruchel and have been waiting for him to get a legitimate leading man role. I guess we’re going to find out if he’s got leading man chops.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM “SHE’S OUT OF MY LEAGUE”

Never miss a chance to create suspense, even if it’s using a cheap trick. We’re told at one point that Molly has a birth defect that’s caused her some self-esteem issues. When Kirk is informed of this by Molly’s friend, he’s ecstatic. Because it means she’s not perfect, and he doesn’t have to feel so inadequate. For the 12 pages between when you’re told of the defect, and it’s actually revealed, you are riveted. You desperately want to know what it is. So cheap, but it works.