So the other day, I was sitting there surfing the net, coming up with excuses not to work (What!? Of course I want to see what those 80s stars look like now!) and like a flash of light, a reality hit me. We don’t have any new voices in screenwriting.

I mean who’s the new Charlie Kaufman? The new Tarantino? I mentally cycled through the last few years of film and came up empty. I mean, I guess you could say M. Night was a dominant “new voice” for awhile. And then, of course, we had Diablo Cody. But was that it? And do those two compare to screenwriting demi-gods like Tarantino and Kaufman?

And what does this say about “screenwriting voice” in general? Is it not as important as it used to be? I mean look at spec machines like David Guggenheim and Kurt Wimmer. They’re not exactly bringing anything new or unique to the table. They’re just really good at execution. And they’re selling plenty of pages because of it.

This got me thinking about the state of “voice” and how important it is. There are guys like Kyle Killin, who blew up a few years ago with his number 1 Black List script, The Beaver, a wholly unique dark comedy about a manic depressive who speaks to people through a beaver hand puppet. But what happened to that film? It disappeared. And while Kyle has written some challenging material in the meantime (Awake, Lone Star, Scenic Route), the public hasn’t warmed to it.

When you think about it, almost all of the major “voice” people aren’t writers at all, but rather writer-directors. Quentin Tarantino, Alexander Payne, Wes Anderson, M. Night, the Coens, Cameron Crowe, John Hughes. So it’s a little misleading. Because those writers get to build on their material in cinematic form and make it look more “voice-y” than it actually is.

To be honest, I think a lot of the more inventive writers are running off to cable television, where they can play around with their stories and actually have fun. Vince Gilligan wrote the mega-hit Hancock. Yet he opted to go to TV to write Breaking Bad afterwards. From shows like Community to Arrested Development to Orange is the New Black to Mad Men to Game of Thrones to Girls to Dexter, the “voices” in our line of work are choosing TV.

With that said, there are still some primarily writer-only screenwriters with strong voices. Diablo Cody. Eric Roth. Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber. And there are some new guys on their way up. Brian Duffield (who wrote the amazing Monster Problems and Your Bridesmaid is a Bitch), Max Landis (Chronicle), Brian K. Vaughn (who wrote the still unproduced sure-to-be-a-megahit Roundtable), Chris Hutton and Eddie O’Keefe (who wrote the awesome pair of scripts, “When The Streetlights Go On” and “The Last Broadcast”).

So I still think writing with a unique voice is a great way to get noticed. Because readers respond to things that feel different. It may be harder and harder to get these “voice-centric” scripts made. But you’ll definitely get noticed off them and get an opportunity to start your career. The question is, how do you do this? What is voice exactly and what is it made up of? I looked back at the last few years of cinema and screenwriting to find an answer. Here’s what I discovered.

Voice can be broken down into seven distinct categories. Some of these categories are things you have a measure of control over. Some you have to be born with. Of course, you can always improve on a component with practice, but you gotta know what they are first. So let’s take a look.

1) How one sees the world – This is something that you can’t teach and is probably the most important component of voice. How do you see the world? And, more importantly, do you see it in a slightly different way from everyone else? If the answer is yes, your writing is going to come across as unique without you even trying. Alexander Payne obviously sees the world as a very cynical place, as a place of struggle. But he also sees it as a funny place, as a world where people say strange hilarious things at unexpected moments. The way he mixes those two ingredients is what makes an Alexander Payne film different from any other film out there.

2) Writing style – This you have control over. Do you write with a sense of humor? Do you write cold and to the point? Do you keep your prose moving quickly like David Guggenheim or do you focus on every little detail like S. Craig Zahler? Are you self-referential? Or do you never want to break the reader’s spell? Your writing style will influence how your voice is delivered.

3) Narrative – Non-traditional narratives are one of the easiest ways to differentiate yourself as a writer. Tarantino mixed Pulp Fiction’s narrative up. The Coens basically wrote an act-less plot-less feature in Inside Llewyn Davis. Oren Uziel (who’s now writing mega-assignment Men In Black 4) wrote his breakthrough screenplay, Shimmer Lake, starting from the end and going backwards. Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber wrote 500 Days of Summer jumping around haphazardly. How you approach your narrative helps establish your voice.

4) Choices – A writer’s story choices are a critical component to his voice. Take the Coens, who decided to introduce their protagonist in Fargo, Margie, a full 40 minutes into the movie. Or Tarantino, who decided to kill off Hitler in Inglorious Basterds. Or Charlie Kaufman, who invented stuff like the seventh and a half-floor for Being John Malkovich. If your choices aren’t unique, chances are you don’t have a strong voice.

5) Character – This goes without saying. If your characters are straight-forward and familiar, like Melissa McCarthy’s character in Identify Thief, you’re not a “voice” writer. If they’re unfamiliar and unpredictable, like Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz) in Django Unchained, you’re going to be seen as different.  Find characters that see the world the way you do, and your voice will come out naturally.

6) Sense of humor – There are some genres that play better with “voice” than others. And humor plays the best. Especially dark humor. It’s why The Beaver was heralded as such a unique voice. It’s why Being John Malkovich was heralded as having such a unique voice. It’s why Michael R. Perry’s “The Voices” (which recently finished shooting!) was so universally loved. How you play with humor, in your writing, in your choices, in your characters, in your dialogue, will have a huge impact on your voice.

7) Dialogue – If dialogue really pops off the page, like Diablo Cody’s did, everyone’s going to take notice. Unfortunately, this is one of those things that is very talent-based. The Coens or Tarantino or John Hughes – they have a talent for making characters sound different and for putting unique/witty/unexpected/well-written words in their mouths. Much like character, if you insert people into your story who share some of your views on life, your voice will naturally come out.  Also, you can always improve dialogue voice with practice.  Just make sure your characters don’t say what’s typically said in a situation.  Voice is about finding new ways to look at and say things.

Now here’s the tough thing. All of these things individually influence voice. But it’s how you combine them that determines your voice. Maybe you like writing crazy “out there”  dialogue but prefer traditional narratives. Maybe you’re obsessed with violence (how you see the world) but diffuse it with a healthy dose of over-the-top humor. Which ingredients and how much of each ingredient you use will determine how your “voice meal” tastes.

But this begs the question – are you born with your voice or can you create it? Or maybe the more appropriate question is, if you DON’T have a strong voice, should you try and create one? I mean, isn’t voice WHO YOU ARE? So if you try and manipulate it, aren’t you then becoming something you aren’t?

Not necessarily. Your voice is not unlike how you present yourself to the world. You know those guys who dress in sweat pants and t-shirts and don’t cut their hair and defiantly expect girls to like them because they’re being real? Because by changing they’d be lying about who they are? Well, you can still be who you are, just a better version of yourself. There are nicer clothes out there that will allow you to keep your relaxed style. You can still have that “messy” hair look, but make it look better with a recent haircut.

The same is true for voice. Find out what’s unique about your writing and exploit it. If you like sarcastic humor, write stuff where you can play with sarcastic humor. If you have a strong sadistic side, always try and add a sadistic character to your ensemble.

I think a big part of having an original voice is just seeing what no one else is doing and then, assuming that void gels with the kind of stuff you write, exploit that area. That’s what Shane Black did with his big over-the-top dark action comedies. What are you going to bring to the table that’s different?

Get your script reviewed on Scriptshadow!: To submit your script for an Amateur Review, send in a PDF of your script, along with the title, genre, logline, and finally, something interesting about yourself and/or your script that you’d like us to post along with the script if it gets reviewed. Use my submission address please: Carsonreeves3@gmail.com. Remember that your script will be posted. If you’re nervous about the effects of a bad review, feel free to use an alias name and/or title. It’s a good idea to resubmit every couple of weeks so your submission stays near the top.

Genre: Contained Sci-fi Thriller
Premise: (from writers) When an elite team of Allied forces assault a top secret research facility, they become trapped underground with a sadistic Nazi Colonel and a mysterious Machine which allows him to switch bodies, turning the team against one another as they desperately try to survive.
Why you should read: (from writers) Echovault is a contained thriller with a strong hook, interesting characters ,and edge of your seat twists: the perfect low budget script to get two blokes from Australia noticed. We are a writing partnership from downunder and believe being featured on Scriptshadow would be great exposure, as well as a means to get extra notes from the Scriptshadow community. Please don’t hold back; we’ve been bred tough, boxing kangaroos and wrestling crocodiles, so go ahead and throw us to the Scriptshadow wolves.
Writers: Andrew Macdonald and Jacques Joubert
Details: 96 pages

Okay, enough about who made it in Hollywood and who didn’t make it in Hollywood and if you’ll make it and why we make it. What it comes down to is writing scripts. You gotta write something. So it’s time to review one of those somethings. Maybe today we’ll see someone make it. Which is a darn good reminder. People can still make it right here on Scriptshadow! If you write something awesome, it will be recognized and people will seek you out. But you gotta bring it. Let’s see if today’s writers did that.

Echovault is about a group of American soldiers in Germany during World War 2. They’ve been given the task to storm a secret vault in the dead of winter and secure some nasty German fellow named “Schneider.”

Our hero is 30 year old Corporol “Fish” Fisher. He’s a man’s man who just wants to follow orders and get the job done. He’s joined by a group of men that include Captain “Jonesy,” Lieutenant Colonel Somerset, Private Mahler, Corporol “Jackpot” Washington, Corporol Webster, and a few others.

So these guys storm this vault that juts deep into the ground, only to find out that their target, Schneider, is a scientist, and this is his testing lab. After a lot of confusion, Schneider (who was supposed to be taken alive) is shot and killed.

Or was he??

It turns out Schneider’s machine switches the consciousness of two human beings! And that Corporal Webster is now Schneider. Of course, nobody knows this yet. They’re still trying to figure out what the hell’s going on.

Schneider uses his cover to call in reinforcements, who are a few hours away. In the meantime, everyone’s trying to figure out how to get out of this vault, which has been mysteriously locked from the inside.

Eventually, everyone gets caught in the lab area again, the machine is turned on, and Schneider uses another jump to get into someone else’s body. By this time, everyone’s figured out what’s going on. The problem is, no one’s sure which body Schneider just jumped into. Which means any one of them could be the bad guy. Combine that with the fact that the calvary’s coming and they can’t get out of here, and we have ourselves a dandy of a situation.

There’s definitely something to Echovault. The last two days we’ve talked about the importance of writing marketable concepts, and we’ve got that here. We have a contained thriller set in World War 2 with Nazis and secret experiments involved. Those are a lot of marketable elements.

They’ve also added a clever mystery (who’s Schneider?), a ticking time bomb (the Nazis are coming), and some high stakes (obviously, there’s death at every corner. But also, if Schneider gets out of here with his experiment, he could do a lot of damage).

But MAN, there are so many little things that trip Echovault up. The good news is, this is an idea worth pursuing. The writers should definitely keep at it and try to make it work. Because my gut tells me there’s a movie here. But the writers need to pay a lot more attention to the details.

First off, I wasn’t thrilled by the idea that the Nazi scientist they’re trying to get just happens to be working on an experiment that would help him get out of this exact predicament. I found that to be a little convenient. I eventually forgot about it, but it was always in the back of my head. I don’t know if anybody else saw this as a problem. If so, they might want to fix it. Unfortunately, I can’t think of a way to do this.

Second, I think the story moves a little slow. I only became interested once we didn’t know which one of them was Schneider. That’s when the script really picked up. Whenever you write, you come up with a few good things in that first draft. Your job in the second draft, then, is to move all those good things up in the timeline and try to come up with MORE good things. The third draft, do the same. The fourth draft, the same. Until your script is packed with good things from beginning to end! That’s what we need here. We need to push up the moment where we’re not sure which one’s Schneider. Because before that, I was kinda bored.

The BIG fix that needs to be made, though, is the characters. They’re all the freaking same!!! In this kind of script (with lots of people to keep track of in a small space), you have to differentiate the characters somehow. All these guys pretty much acted and sounded and did the same things with only slight variations. The extent of differentiating them came in the description, when someone was labeled as “big” or “black.” You think that anorexic description is going to help us remember who’s who five pages from now? Twenty pages from now?

But even if you take out the “helping the reader” aspect, you just want your characters to feel different. Give a character a certain phrase he keeps using (“You got it champ”). Make one character faux tough, compensating for the fact that he’s scared as shit. Have an over-educated guy speak intelligently. Have one guy who never says more than a few words. And then use the character’s actions to further differentiate them from each other. Have one character be overly fearful. Have another be too brave. Because outside of Fish, I rarely knew who was who until the ¾ mark of the script.

Character differentiation is one of the easiest ways to spot the pros over the amateurs. So if you can master this, you’re in good shape. But it’s REALLY important in scripts like these, where you have a lot of characters thrown at the reader quickly. It’s so easy for the reader to forget who’s who. It’s your job to make sure that doesn’t happen.

As for the rest of the script, it was a mixed bag. It still feels rough to me. I think Anna is a throwaway character that you’re not committing to. You either have to commit to a character like that or not. You can’t straddle the line. And you’re clearly straddling the line. I think the soldiers would’ve figured out A LOT EARLIER that they could sit everyone down and play the memory game in order to sniff out Schneider. I was thinking that the whole time, so I didn’t believe it took them forever to figure it out as well. I didn’t know how Schneider all of a sudden became a perfect naturally speaking American once he was in someone else’s body. Did he just inherit the person’s speech patterns? I’m not sure that makes sense.

These are those annoying things we writers HATE trying to figure out but we HAVE to figure them out or else the screenplay feels lazy. And that’s where the script lies right now. So unfortunately, while I think there’s potential here, it isn’t at “worth the read” quality quite yet.

Script link: Echovault

[ ] what the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: In order to help differentiate your characters, think (maybe even write down) about ALL your friends and the people you know. Write down what makes each of them sound different from one another. Some speak fast. Some slow. Some are more nurturing. Some are less caring. Some keep the topic of conversation on themselves. Some like to ask other people about themselves. Some say “um” a lot. Some are more eloquent. The list of variables is endless. Take what you learn there and apply it to your characters so they, too, sound like their own people.

This is your chance to discuss the week’s amateur scripts, offered originally in the Scriptshadow newsletter. The primary goal for this discussion is to find out which script(s) is the best candidate for a future Amateur Friday review. The secondary goal is to keep things positive in the comments with constructive criticism.

Below are the scripts up for review, along with the download links. Want to receive the scripts early? Head over to the Contact page, e-mail us, and “Opt In” to the newsletter.

Happy reading!

TITLE: Capital Punishment
GENRE: Action/Sci-Fi
LOGLINE: An attorney travels back in time where he battles corrupt FBI agents in a race to save his brother’s life.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: In preparation for my upcoming free ebook, I dug up all the scripts I ever wrote. This was collecting dust in a box. I wrote it 20 years ago and only showed it to a few people before moving on to another script. Starting with its title, CAPITAL PUNISHMENT is a throwback to the Arnold Schwarzenegger films of the eighties.

TITLE: Benevolence of the Butcher
GENRE: Action
LOGLINE: When a group of bank robbers risks their own safety to protect a woman who is shot at the front door of their hideout, they are attacked by an unrelenting army determined to kill everyone who helped the wounded stranger.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: This is a story about a group of six people who must ask themselves how much they are willing to sacrifice to help others. When universal healthcare, the one percent, and wealth redistribution are buzz words on every news website, a story that asks us what it really means to live in a capitalistic, competitive world and what we must be willing to give purely for the sake of our fellowman is a narrative full of questions I believe are worth asking. This theme is explored with nonstop action and in one location for a marketable film at a very reasonable budget.

This is the sixth draft of my ninth screenplay and I am finally confident enough to give the readers of SS a look. I am hoping to learn a lot from the comments of everyone and hopefully everyone willing to read it will learn something as well.

TITLE: MOTHERF—ER
GENRE : Comedy
LOGLINE: As Matthew and Helen get involved in a steamy affair, they must keep their secret from one person: Rachel, Helen’s daughter and Matthew’s best friend.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: I know you’ll like it because this is a comedy that has a very strong hook with a lot of built-in conflict. It also goes to unexpected places and the feedback I’ve received from reader around town is that the characters and the relationships are well-developed. Also, at 96 pages it’s a very quick and easy read.

TITLE: MUK
GENRE: Horror
LOGLINE: A knife wielding serial-killer harvests human souls for Hell, and his name is MUK.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: I’ve wanted to write a slasher film ever since I saw Halloween in my early teens. I’m in my early forties now and I’ve finally done it. I’ve taken everything I know, love and loath about the sub-genre and put it into this script, which took me about eight months to complete. I am proud of what I accomplished and I think horror fans will love it.

This script is not for the meek or weak of heart. It’s a brutal story. A lot of people die and badly. Ye been warned.

TITLE: A Lot of Blood
GENRE: Contained Thriller
LOGLINE: After two friends leave the bar after a night of drinking, they discover their car missing
from the parking lot, an RV in its place, and a woman trapped inside.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ: Coming from a fiction background has been challenging. But, I have worked with Victor Miller to find my voice in terms of saying what I want, and saying what the audience wants to hear. I think there is so much more that a story can tell that goes beyond the page and beyond the stage.

Genre: Period/Supernatural/Action
Premise: A group of disgraced Samurais (known as “Ronin”) attempt to take down one of the biggest samurai forces in the world to get revenge for their fallen leader.
About: This script dates all the way back to the 2008 Black List. It stars Keanu Reeves.  Writer Chris Morgan has written several of the Fast and Furious movies and is currently working on The Legend of Conan, which is bringing back Ah-nold as Conan.
Writer: Chris Morgan
Details: It’s not clear if this is the 2008 Black List draft or if it’s the 2010 draft. – 123 pages

I’ve been curious about this one. Visually, it looks different from everything else out there. There’s a supernatural slant to it. Martial Arts is involved. It’s got a hot new director. Any of this sound familiar? It’s the recipe that made The Matrix such a huge success. And let’s be honest. We’ve been waiting for Keanu to make another Matrix for awhile now (not that I’m not a huge fan of Generation Um…).

On the flip side, it looked like one of those movies that COULD be all show and no flow. In other words, I’m scared it may be Sucker Punch or Night Watch. I was 50/50 on the answer to that until I saw the December 25 release date. If a studio’s releasing something on Christmas, that usually means they have confidence in it. So I’m going to give the film the benefit of the doubt.

47 Ronin is set in the beginning of the 18th century and is about a dude named Lord Asano who’s expecting the most important person in the land, the Shogun, to visit his kingdom. Asano’s right hand man is a samurai named Oishi. The two have been through everything together and this is probably going to be their biggest moment yet.

Oishi is in charge of a group of samurais, one of them a “half-breed” named Minoru, who neither Oishi or Asano know is sneaking off with Asano’s daughter, the beautiful Mika. The whole half-breed thing means they can never be together, which puts a real damper on their future prospects. But that doesn’t mean they won’t try.

In advance of the Shogun’s arrival, his evil second-in-command shows up, the serpentine-like Lord Kira. Lord Kira instantly falls in love with Mika, and tricks Asano into lifting his blade by pretending to attack Mika. Lifting a blade in a kingdom where the Shogun is present is punishable by death. Everyone must watch as Asano takes his own life, the honorable way for a samurai to die.

Adding salt to the wound, Lord Kira designates everyone who served under Lord Asano “ronin.” This is the worst disgrace a samurai can face. Ronin are samurai who have no honor. They’re then kicked out of the kingdom except for Oishi, who’s jailed and beaten to within an inch of his life.

Lord Kira, of course, wants to marry Mika now, but she wisely calls for a clause in the code that gives a daughter a year of mourning for her father’s death. The Shogun grants her request, to Kira’s dismay.

Eight months later, Oishi, now a broken man, is released. And he hasn’t forgotten about his best friend’s death. Naturally, he wants to get the band back together and kick Lord Kira’s ass. The problem is, most of the Ronin have disappeared. He only manages to scrounge up 47 of them. These 47 will have to take on an army of a thousand of the best samurais in the world. The odds don’t look to be in their favor. But don’t tell Oishi that.

I want you to imagine The Hobbit mixed with 300 mixed with The Princess Bride in feudal Japan. Ya with me? I hope so. Because this script was damned good. Surprisingly good. Unexpectedly good! Starting with it being lights out UNIQUE.

I always say that while you wanna follow the rules for the most part, it’s the breaking of the rules that sets your script apart. The choices you make which go against traditional practice are what give your script its own unique flavor.

In this respect, Morgan’s choice to not have a clear cut main character was pretty brave. Not having a clear cut main character (unless you’re doing a deliberate ensemble film like Love Actually) is usually the kiss of death for a screenplay. It makes the script unfocused and it doesn’t allow us to identify with, get behind, and root for someone (see Contagion).

When you watch the trailer for this film, you think Keanu Reeves is the main character. But that’s not necessarily true. Oishi is the one driving the story. He’s the one who has the most at stake. It’s his best friend who’s killed unjustly and who he must avenge. With that said, Keanu’s character, Minoru, has something at stake too (his love for Mika). He has to get to her before she’s married off and violated in a thousand different ways by the insane Lord Kira.

So it’s a weird read in that sense. Cause you keep waiting for Minoru to take that step forward and start dominating the action. But he’ll only get so close before stepping back. At the same time, it’s this weird “who are we following” issue that gives the script a sense of unpredictability.

That’s not to say you guys should try this at home. Oh no no no no no. I’ve seen writers who aren’t as good as Chris Morgan (and this guy is good – this script he wrote put him on my A-list) try the same thing and the result was a wandering unfocused mess where you keep angrily yelling at the script, “Who the hell is the main character here???” Some way, some how, 47 Ronin never suffered this fate. And I’m still trying to figure out why.

Now what’s interesting here is that there’s been some rewrites to the script since this draft. Hossein Amini (who wrote that amazing original draft of Drive) came in to rewrite Morgan’s script, and watching the trailer, some changes have definitely been made. My assumption is that somewhere along the way, a producer said, “Yo, why is Keanu Reeves not playing the clear-cut main character?” and they then rewrote the script to make him the main character (the fact that even his name has been changed – to Kai – would support this theory). Then again, Keanu’s one of those unselfish actors, so you just don’t know.  But I’m curious what they did.  Because if you make Keanu the guy driving all the action, a ton of the script has to change.  You’d then be moving away from a script that’s already awesome.

As far as the story, this script uses one of the best devices for making a reader root for your hero out there: Punishing your hero for doing the right thing. And the way you tweak this device to REALLY make it work? You make the punishment as terrible as it can be and the “right thing” our hero does the most heroic thing it can be.

So in this case, the evil Lord Kira knows the rules of the house. If a blade is drawn when the Shogun is in a castle, it’s punishable by death. Well, Lord Asano walks in as Lord Kira’s about to rape his daughter. Lord Asano runs to protect her. Lord Kira fakes a move to his knife, as if he’s going to hurt her, and Asano’s forced to draw his blade to save her. But when Asano looks closely, Kira has merely lifted a fan. It was a trick. There are others in the hall who witness this, and all of a sudden, Asano has broken the law. He must take his own life.

So here someone is punished (Asano) for doing the right thing (protection). The punishment is the most extreme punishment it can be (death) and he was doing something that couldn’t have been more right (protecting his daughter). After this moment, Morgan has us wrapped around his finger. We will not stop reading until we see Asano’s men get justice over what the terrible Lord Kira has done.

I also got a kick out of Morgan using a very standard ticking time bomb device, one we’ve seen popularized in what was basically the opposite of this movie (tone-wise at least), The Princess Bride. We are simply trying to get to Lord Kira before he and Mika’s wedding so that Minoru can be with her. It’s funny how we can overthink these bigger “epic” stories and overcomplicate them as a result. Here, we’re simply trying to beat a wedding and get revenge. It’s so simple!

I could go on about this script but all I gotta say is, wow, I’m impressed. You’ve never seen anything like it before. I mean when’s the last time you saw samurais battling Dutch hulks inside an opium den on an artificial island? Doubt there’s a scene of that in Catching Fire. The attention to detail is also excellent here. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chris Morgan WAS a samurai. It’s got the underdog thing going for it, with the tiny group of reject samurai going up against a thousand of the best samurai warriors in the world. The fights all read amazing. This is going to be pretty badass. The only thing I’m worried about is that it looks a little over-stylized. But I’ll still be there on Christmas day with the fam (if my parents can handle it). What a script!

[ ] what the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Give us a frame of reference. Sometimes when you’re describing something so unknown to the reader (a sci-fi or supernatural setting, for example), you want to give them a frame of a reference, an analogy. So in the beginning of the script, when describing Lord Asano’s kingdom, Morgan writes: “It’s clear that Ako castle is Camelot at its height — the people of the province living happy, contented lives — and Asano is its Arthur; noble, just and kind.”

Due to work constraints, I’m switching Tuesday and Thursday around.  That means 10 Screenwriting Tips via E.T. is moving to Thursday.  Right now, I have to post one of my favorite comments of the year.  It came in response to Thursday’s post about the intangibles of screenwriting.  Writers come from all different backgrounds and situations.  Some are trust fund babies with all the time in the world.  Some are parents barely able to scrape up enough money to keep their families above water.  Whatever the case, writers tend to make up reasons to procrastinate, to not write, to hold off.  This comment just makes you want to write.  Print it and tape it next to your workspace.  It’s from Half-Robot.  Enjoy (and Half-Robot, I’ll read your script when it’s finished!).

If you are finding reasons to avoid writing, maybe it’s not for you. It’s all about effort.

Megastar athletes are there because of dedication and perseverance. Not a single person wakes up one day and is amazingly talented.

Famous musicians.

Actors.

Scientists.

You name it.

I’m sorry but you gotta churn stuff out to get better. The whole 10,000 hours thing. It’s almost as simple as math. Writing a great story, no. But getting better? Elementary.

Unless you just REALLY aren’t getting it. But that’s a whole different story…

I started writing five months ago.

Five.

Before that (and now) I just worked regular, everyday jobs. I’m currently a payroll manager for a mid-size marketing firm. I live an hour away from my job. I work 40-50 hours a week, plus another 10-15 commuting on a cramped bus reading every screenplay I can get my hands on. Plus, I’m married to someone who doesn’t really like movies. Don’t tell me you don’t have time to write.

I don’t have a fancy film degree. I haven’t watched all the classics. I just sit my ass down, forget about sleeping, and write. I leave for work at 5:30 AM, get home at 6 PM. Spend a few hours with the wifey and I’m usually writing from 9 until about 1 or 2 AM. It’s what it takes, man. It ain’t easy. No one said it was. But don’t give me a bullshit excuse that you don’t have time. Suck it up, buttercup.

Though, admittedly, when I started, I thought I would be one of the lucky ones. Sell my first script, dash away to the hills of Hollywood, hob-nob with A-listers. At first, that was my inspiration. The golden dream. Who doesn’t dream of that scenario? It still has to be a small part of your inspiration to make it as a writer. Maybe those things don’t happen to writers, but you still have to swing for the stars. Literally and metaphorically.

It obviously didn’t go that route. And months later, I’ve completely shifted my view on the art of screenwriting. I stopped caring about others “making it” and focused entirely on what I was doing. MY projects.

And you know how much I’ve written?

2 (god-awful) complete feature specs. Both rewritten a few times before I moved on to a fresh idea.

Countless outlines.

2 half-baked feature specs.

Dozens of half-baked ideas, scenes.

A million “A day in the life of” character sheets.

3 separate ideas for The Writer’s Store contest in 2 weeks.

And I’m now on my third draft (technically sixth, but some are partial rewrites) of my 3rd feature.

Five months, people. Don’t tell me it can’t be done.

Feedback is HUGE. I’ve connected with a dozen people through this site and I can’t even tell you how pleased I am to have met them.

Carson, thank you for providing a pretty relaxed atmosphere where we can discuss and connect with each other.

Contrary to popular belief, there aren’t a lot of sites like this. I’ve read a few blogs and they get MAYBE two or three comments. We’re consistently pushing 70+ on most articles. That is fucking stellar y’all.

The flip side to feedback is what to do with it. Get over yourself. You’re not god’s gift to the screenwriting world. We’re all (aspiring) story tellers. See what others think.

From the people I’ve met here, they usually have some pretty great ideas on how to improve that scene where your lead is slicing someone’s throat but in a way we’ve all seen before. You probably thought it was fucking brilliant. Guess what?

It wasn’t.

To quote the Barenaked Ladies, “It’s all been done.”

So yeah, feedback and a thick skin. WHEN (NOT IF) you sell something, you’re going to get hit with notes. Probably a lot of them. I obviously don’t know, but from what I’ve read, get ready for a lot of rewriting.

Rewriting is the fun part anyway. That’s where your script comes alive. I read an interview from here last night from E. Nicholas Mariani that talked about rewriting being the connective tissue, the “scene between the scenes.” That really resonated with me. You can only discover that stuff the second (third, fourth, fifth, sixth…) time around.

That’s why I have an issue with so many AoW scripts. They are clearly first drafts. They are not thought through. It’s basically a (way too long usually) first draft of some cool scenes you thought of. Guess what? After countless weeks of offerings, how many have really gained traction? Yeah. Exactly.

I think we are too easy on amateur writers. You sugar coat the issue, they don’t grow. Simple as that. I’ve read notes from friends that always start with “let me know if I’m being too harsh” and the really grinds my gears.

Let me have it. Make my story better. If you’re polite, I don’t see the problem. If you’re rude, we may have an issue. But I haven’t met anyone here or anywhere else that is a raging douchebag.

I have to disagree with Carson on three things, though.

One –

Don’t read screenplay books right away. I did that. If I could go back, I wouldn’t. Yes, read a book on formatting. Don’t be that guy. BUT, don’t read Save the Cat! and go from there.

Those bad habits will stick with you. Don’t count pages. Don’t worry about 15 beats. You will hit roadblock after roadblock. Write INTERESTING CHARACTERS doing INTERESTING THINGS that makes us want to KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

If your inciting incident doesn’t land on page 10, an executive isn’t going to jump out of a bush and murder you.

The best way to describe if something is good to me is this rule:

How many pages have I read before I check to see what page I’m on.

If it’s good, I don’t check.

If it’s bad, well, you get it.

We all do it when we read.

We’ve read stories our entire lives. We’ve watched countless movies. Telling a story isn’t rocket science. Well, it is, but not really.

Read SCREENPLAYS. A SHIT TON OF THEM. I’ve read more screenplays in five months than movies I’ve watched in my entire life. And you know what? My scripts are stronger because of it. Half the movies you watch aren’t like the screenplay anyway. READ. READ. READ.

Because you are –

WRITING. WRITING. WRITING. They are words. Go outside, feel emotions, nature. Next time you’re on a walk, mentally think how you’d describe where you are in the most interesting, brief way. Not how your favorite movie ALREADY DID IT.

Two –

Yes, you should write. Every. FUCKING. Day. No excuses. BUT, it has to be more than five minutes. I know that is metaphor for just spending at least some time on writing, but you’ll get no where.

Five minutes? Ten minutes? That’s how long it takes me to come up with a fucking tweet for christ’s sake. How many pages do you think you’ll get done in a year writing even 30 minutes a day? Maybe enough to post a new blog entry every couple of days.

Put your ass in that seat and get excited. Tell sleep to go fuck itself. Tell five minutes to go fuck itself. You’re a writer, not a stopwatch. Get to writing.

Three –

Don’t write something because it’s a “commercial idea.” It will be so obvious. Another interview I read from the fucking talent that is Brian Duffield explained how he starts his specs… A thought or emotion that he’s struggling with. That’s what you need to do.

Yeah, that’s right. YOU.

Pick something challenging. Pick a flaw in your life. Writing will become therapy and before you know it, you’ve got something good.

My current project is about relationships. Their complexity… their brutal way of making you vulnerable, exposing you to another soul. How unfair they can be. How they shape us. How in dire situations, knowing the person you are with has your back. Trust. Finding your soul mate.

The logline? A former couple must survive a road trip during the zombie apocalypse.

And it’s a fucking rom-com. It’s a dark comedy, but a rom-com nonetheless.

If you write based only on a commercial idea, that’ll get you a couple scenes. It WON’T get you a deep connection with the reader. Look, we’re all human. We all have fears, worries, problems, complications, themes, ideas, struggles, whatever. Pick one. Tackle it. Challenge yourself. Brian Koppelman bashes this idea into our heads with his six second screenwriting advice vines. They are brilliant.

Once you’ve grasped the idea you want to work on, then you can attach the story to it. I could have written a dumb comedy about two opposites stuck in car together and all the wacky, crazy things that happen to them. But I grounded it first, then added the story later. I want you to know, at the heart, WHY they are a former couple, HOW that affects the trip, WHY they are even on the trip to begin with. I want you to watch and FEEL them grow, arc, whatever word you want to use for it.

I don’t want Kevin James butt to touch David Spade’s face for a laugh.

Your Bridesmaid is a Bitch isn’t just about some guy going to his sister’s wedding where his ex-girlfriend will be. That is the story, sure. But at the core, like Brian says, is the complexity and struggles with relationships we’ve all been in. We’ve all had our hearts broken. Now, I’m sure a very small percentage of us actually have been to our sister’s wedding where our ex was. But we relate to the feeling. It’s pretty universal. No one is reinventing the wheel, here. And it doesn’t need to be, either.

In conclusion – sorry for ranting. I’m pretty fired up about this. It all comes down to you. Do you want to do this. Like, for reals. Or is it just a hobby?

Here’s a clue. In the last week, how many hours have you dedicated to a blank page? If it’s less than 15, you might need to reevaluate your goals.

As always, if anyone wants to connect, trade scripts, or engage in hilarious, off-beat emails while I’m at work, email me.

driftinginscripts@gmail.com

I’m also on twitter. I’ve kind of fell off the map there, but I still whip up a few quips every now and then.

@half_robot

When I win an Oscar, I will thank all of you in my speech. Especially you, Carson.