Welcome everyone.  Come one.  Come all.  To the first annual Scriptshadow Twit-Pitch Contest Experiment Extravaganza.  Where you, the hardworking unknown writer, tweet me your logline in 134 characters or less!  Now I know a lot of you Twitter newbies have been freaking out over this process. You’re scared your tweet won’t show or you won’t know how to see it.  Bad news. I’m scared too. However, I came up with an idea.  You can test your tweets all day long if you want, just to make sure they work.  I’ll only look at the ones from 2-4pm though.  Those are the only ones I’ll count.  This way, everyone can make sure they’re prepared.

Now how DO you see your tweet to make sure it’s shown up?  Simple.  Well, not simple.  But it’s doable if you have an IQ approaching 140.  Tweet your pitch, i.e., “When a pizza man is late for his delivery, he turns into a pizza.”  Then, AFTER your pitch, you want to leave a SPACE and then this unique hashtag identifier: “#tp12” which stands for “Twit-Pitch 2012.”  All in all, your tweet will look like this:

Then, all you have to do, is CLICK on the #tp12 (which will be a link) in your tweet and Twitter will take you to all of the other twit-pitches, as well as your own, so you can check to see that it’s there.  This is where I’ll be monitoring everyone’s Twit-Pitches.

Now, here’s how it’s going to work.  If I like a pitch, I will FAVORITE YOUR TWEET and DIRECT MESSAGE YOU, just to double-confirm I’ve picked you. You will then send your first ten pages, or your entire script (doesn’t matter as I’ll just read the first 10 pages regardless) to carsonreeves3@gmail.com with the subject line: “TWIT-PITCH.”  You’ll have a week to do this.  Now I have no idea how many people are going to be participating.  It could be 400.  It could be 4000.  If it’s over a thousand, it will probably take me awhile to read through all the tweets.  So just because you don’t get picked right away, don’t worry.  It might be because I haven’t read yours yet.  I should be done by the end of the day though.

Once those are chosen, I’ll take two months to go over them.  You’ll definitely want to follow me on Twitter as I’ll be tweeting updates about the contest throughout those two months.  I’ll let you know when I’ve found something good.  I’ll let you know when I’ve found something…errrr…not good.  I plan for this to be totally open.  At the end of the two months, I’ll announce 20-25 finalists and read the entire scripts, from which I’ll pick a winner.  I will then read the winning script live on a web feed.  That’s not true.  I won’t do that. 

BUT THERE’S MORE!  What I love about Scriptshadow is how bright our commenters are.  Easily the brightest on any screenwriting site.  So, if you guys get all jazzed up about a particular Twit-Pitch logline that I didn’t pick, I’ll add up to FIVE of those pitches to the first round pool. So even when it’s over, it’s not really over!  Feel free to leave your opinions on Twit-pitches in these comments or the official Top 100 twit-pitch thread, which should be up tomorrow or Monday, depending on how many there are.  Also, guys, don’t recruit your friends or sign in with different accounts and tout your own twit-pitch.  I know the commenting rhythm of this site like the back of my hand.  I’ll know what you’re doing and I’ll get really really angry! (or just slightly annoyed).

Well, that’s it!  Feel free to ask any tech questions in the comments section.  There’s a lot of smart people here who can help you.  Also, if this is the first time hearing about the Twit-Pitch Contest, please head to this post to look over the rules.  Good luck everyone!  And remember, you’re writers.  Be creative.  Be fun.  The whole idea behind this is to have a good time. :)

Update 1 (10:17 a.m. April 1) – Added thoughts about using text-speak.
Update 2 (10:45 a.m. April 3) – Added advice about including title.   
Update 3 (10:37 p.m. April 3) – IMPORTANT – Character count down to 134 characters (not 135).

Twit-Pitch.  You thought it was dead and buried forever. It wasn’t!  It just went through a few permutations.  For those not in the know, Twit-Pitch is a Scriptshadow Event/Experiment whereby you, the readers, will pitch me your logline on Twitter in under 135 characters!  The top 100-200 of these loglines will be chosen to move on to the next round, where you’ll send me the first 10 pages of your script.  The Top 20 of those First 10 will send me their entire scripts and from those I’ll pick a winner.  The winner will then be reviewed on the site.

Now I’ll be the first to admit, this is an experiment.  I have no idea if this will lead to finding a great screenplay or not.  But I do know this: It will be fun as hell trying!  And if you do get reviewed on the site, you’ll guaranteed get reads around the industry.  And if I personally really love your screenplay, I’ll send it to my heavy-hitter contacts.  So, here’s how it’s going to work.

1) Get a Twitter Account.  You’ll need one if you want to tweet me your pitch.
2) Follow me on Twitter.  It’s not required, but I’ll be using Twitter to keep people up to date on the goings-on of the contest so it’s a good idea. 
3) You only have one tweet to pitch your logline, which means it has to be 135 characters or less.  Twitter allows you 140 characters to tweet, but you’ll need 5 of those characters for…
4) The hashtag – A “hashtag” is a virtual keyword to help me find your tweet, therefore it’s ESSENTIAL that you include it in your tweet.  It is marked by the “#” symbol right before the word you’re hashtagging.   This unfortunately means less characters to tweet your logline, but those are the breaks!  The Scriptshadow Twit-Pitch hashtag will be “#tp12” (which stands for “Twit Pitch 2012.”)  So this would be how your tweet would look: “A global warming scientist travels back in time to save the iceberg that was hit by The Titanic #tp12.”  Edit – You NEED A SPACE BEFORE YOUR HASHTAG!  If there’s no space between the end of your logline and the hashtag, your logline won’t show up!
5) @Scriptshadow – You do NOT have to put “@Scriptshadow” in your tweet.  That’s taken care of by the hashtag.
6) “Favorite” – I will “favorite” any logline I like.  If you get favorited, you can send me your First Ten pages at carsonreeves3@gmail.com.  (Being favorited will appear in your Twitter timeline. It’s easy to see. Just make sure it’s me who favorites you and not someone else).
7) Text-speak – Try not 2 use txt-spk. It’s not an automatic disqualification. But it will be strongly looked dwn upon.
8) Title – No title is required in your pitch.  But feel free to use it if you want. 
9) First Place – The winner of the contest will be reviewed on the site and expected to post AT LEAST the first 15 pages of their script.  However, I strongly recommend that the winner post their entire script.  That’s what happened with The Disciple Program.  Since it was so easily accessible, everyone was able to read it right away and that’s how the mayhem started!
10) Turnaround time – Turnaround time on the first round will be kind of long. After announcing the Top twit-pitches on the site, it’ll take me a little over 2 months to read them, which is kind of good cause it will give you guys plenty of time to sharpen up those full scripts!

Rules
1) You can only tweet me one idea.  Tweet more and you’ll be disqualified.
2) You can have representation.  But you CANNOT have a TV or Feature produced credit or have made more than $10,000 in a total screenwriting revenue (this doesn’t count contest money. So if you’ve made $30,000 from Nicholl, you’re still eligible).
3) Yes, it can be an adaptation.
4) Writing partners can only submit ONE pitch.  
5) You can only tweet me between 2-4 pm Pacific Time next Saturday (April 7th).  Any tweets outside of that timeframe will be disqualified. (note: Twitter allows you to schedule tweets. So if you’re in a different time zone, look up how to do this and have Twitter tweet for you!)
6) Features only
7) It’s free, so stop complaining!

Now keep in mind: THIS IS AN EXPERIMENT.  I’m sure there will be questions and people pointing out flaws in the rules that I’ll need to address.  Check back here every evening starting Monday for updates/reminders to the rules/contest.  Also, for those asking questions in the comments, I will not be able to answer them right away cause I’m leaving.  Will be back to try to answer them later tonight or tomorrow morning though.  Now, start working on those tweets!

I met Mike Le about four years ago either on Done Deal or the Craig’s List personals section. I can’t remember which. He actually watched me come up with the idea for Scriptshadow. We eventually met when he was the vice president over at HQ Pictures. I soon learned that Mike likes to keep his fingers in a lot of pies. As a screenwriter, he wrote TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH (based on the novel by Isaac Adamson) for Fox Searchlight. The project is now at Sony with Tobey Maguire attached to star and produce. He’s currently writing feature projects at Appian Way and Millar Gough Ink. He has a TV pilot with Tapestry Films, wrote the bestselling comic book MAYHEM for Image Comics, was co-executive producer on the reality show FIRST IN for BET and is currently producing K-TOWN. He’s the former assistant to Owen Wilson and Wes Anderson and was the Vice President of the aforementioned HQ Pictures, the production company of Tyrese Gibson.

That’s what led to the idea for today’s interview. Pitching is such a huge part of this business and yet there isn’t a whole lot of information on it out there. Since Mike used to listen to pitches daily as part of his job, I thought, BOOM, he’d be the perfect guy to discuss pitching with. Let’s get into it.

SS: Hey Mike, thanks for doing the interview. 

ML: No worries, Carson. You know I’ve been a fan and supporter of your blog since day one. I remember that day you walked into my office at HQ Pictures and my first thought was, “For a guy with such an ominous moniker like Scriptshadow, he sure is normal looking.”

SS: I think the word you’re looking for is “dashing.” And yes, I had an unfortunate last second wardrobe malfunction that forced me to wear my “normal person’s” clothes that day. It will never happen again. Anyway, because of your producing and screenwriting experience, I thought, “Who better to talk pitching with than Mike Le?”

ML: I’m so ready. Go for it…

SS: All right. To start off, how many pitches have you heard? 

ML: Hundreds. Too many. From writers that ran the spectrum, from established A-listers to unknown amateurs.

SS: And how did those writers get to pitch you? How does anyone get to pitch you?

ML: When I was the VP at HQ Pictures, we had a strict policy of not accepting unsolicited material, much like most of Hollywood. That means we only accepted material and pitches by writers who were repped or came through a personal referral. But I’m a writer myself, and I used to face those same barriers, so I understand how frustrating that is to those trying to break in. It’s very disheartening to slave on a script for months, even years, and then you can’t even find someone who’s willing to read the thing. So I implemented a thing at HQ, a thing called “Free Cheese Day.”

SS: Sounds delicious. Did they get two free toppings with that or did those cost extra? 

ML: Not that kind of cheese, Carson. It was something I borrowed conceptually from THE WEST WING. In that show, President Bartlett allowed one day of the year to grant access to interest groups that don’t usually get the attention of the White House, basically opening their doors to the people. Sorkin based this off of a real thing, when Andrew Jackson left a two ton block of cheese in the White House foyer for anyone to eat. So on Free Cheese Day at my company, I basically lifted our no unsolicited material policy, and me and my assistant and team of 6 script readers opened and read query letters that had been piling up. If we found something we liked, we would call the writer and ask them to talk about the script, basically pitch it over the phone.

SS: Okay now you have me curious. Did you find anything from those? 

ML: Sadly no. There were a couple of strong concepts that hooked me but the executions were poor. I wasn’t as lucky as you to find an undiscovered gem like THE DISCIPLE PROGRAM. Which by the way is not only a great script, but Tyler is a really nice and solid dude. I would kill to find and break a talent like him. Congats on that!

SS: Thanks and yeah, I hope to have some new news on Tyler soon. Here’s my question though – what about getting pitches at other companies? How would one go about that? 

ML: You can’t just walk into a studio and start pitching. You have to be invited to pitch. And to get invited, they (Hollywood) needs to become a fan of your writing first. Take Tyler for example. He’s got a lot of heat right now because everyone in town read his script. They’ve become fans because of THE DISCIPLE PROGRAM, and based off the strength of it, Tyler will get countless invites to pitch.

SS: Hmmm, you can’t just walk into studios and start pitching huh? That explains a LOT. Okay so lets move to the pitches themselves. What do good pitches have in common? What do bad pitches have in common? 

ML: The good ones I can tell what the movie is within the first minute of the pitch. I can clearly understand who the characters are, the conflicts, the goals, etc. If a writer can make me clearly see the movie, that means the writer can clearly see the movie, which indicates the writer has thoroughly worked out the story. The bad ones are just the opposite, they’re rambling, confusing, no sense of story but just a series of situations strung together. They fall apart after a few questions. The good ones get stronger after a few questions.

SS: So you’re constantly questioning people during these pitches? Which means you gotta be able to think on the fly. I assume this is where the newbies fall apart? 

ML: I don’t know if the ability to think on the fly is indicative of a newbie writer versus an experienced writer. Some people just have a natural talent for it, and some people just clam up when questioned. If you have a natural ability to insightfully maneuver through creative questions without sounding like an idiot, than you’re ahead of the game. Execs and producers want to work with writers who love talking about story, who welcome challenging questions, who can defend their vision. Perhaps newbies suffer more from this simply because of a lack of experience. But without every meeting, every pitch, being good in the room gets easier.

SS: These days, it seems like every agent wants a writer who’s “good in a room,” someone who can not only write, but pitch. Why is “being good in a room” so important in Hollywood? 

ML: Because Hollywood is in the business of ideas, and pitching is a dynamic way of sharing and conveying ideas. If you’re great at pitching, that’s a pretty good indication you’re great at engaging people. It’s important to be able to pitch because it’s not just about your script but pitching yourself as a person. Hollywood wants to know if they can work with you or you’re some weirdo that should have never gotten past the studio gates. It’s okay to be a weirdo or eccentric in Hollywood, many are…you just can’t be creepy or come off as a waste of time.

SS: “Don’t be a weirdo.” I’m learning a lot here that I wish I would’ve known earlier. So pitching is also about people skills? 

ML: Very much so. And that’s why a lot of writers, even professionals, are scared to death of pitching. Look, I’m going to generalize here but I’m confident in saying most writers and other creative types are probably introverts. I sure as hell was one. Problem is we live in a society that has a bias towards extroverts and Hollywood is a culture that magnifies that. Movie stars seem like mega-extroverts right because they’re so fearless and colorful on the screen. But when you meet them in person or see them in interviews, they can be awkward and unsure of themselves without a script. That’s because actors are comfortable performing as characters, but are uncomfortable performing as themselves. It’s the same thing with screenwriters, they’re comfortable telling stories through their characters on the page, but uncomfortable performing the story as themselves in a pitch meeting. The journey of the screenwriter is one conundrum after another. Writing requires solitude, solitude breeds introverts, but filmmaking is a collaborative art that requires good people skills and the ability to adapt in high-pressure social situations. You can’t be a successful screenwriter and work in a vacuum, you eventually have to get out and try to win people over. It’s not like novelists who have the luxury of being anti-social. Novelists write their books, mail off their manuscripts and hope someone publishes it and sends back a check without ever having to leave their comfort zone.

SS: You said a lot of professional screenwriters are scared to death of pitching. Can you expand on that? 

ML: It’s popular to quote Malcolm Gladwell these days, especially his theory of “10,000 hours.” In his book OUTLIERS, he says you can only become good at something after doing it over and over again for at least 10,000 hours. It’s more complicated than that because the rest of the book factors in upbringing, access to resources, etc. But for the purpose of our discussion, let’s keep focused on the 10,000 hours theory. Say a screenwriter has put in at least 10,000 hours at writing, and he goes on to sell his first spec script. Boom, his life changes, big trade announcement, everybody in town in wants to meet with him. Next thing he knows, his reps want him pitching ideas and studios want him coming in to give takes on assignments. Here’s the problem, the screenwriter has invested 10,000 plus hours at writing to become a professional screenwriter but has zero experience pitching. So now it’s baptism by fire as he’s forced head first into pitching. The writer has to transform from introvert to extrovert overnight.

SS: Whoa, you’re making this sound terrifying. How the hell do you get 10,000 hours of pitching experience to prepare you for those moments if you’ve never done it before?? 

ML: Here’s the good news: screenwriters love movies, which means they love talking about movies. Every time you’re discussing films with someone, whether it’s with a circle of friends, around the dining table with family, or around the water cooler at work, you have to treat it like a pitch. Boiled down to its essence, a pitch is much like that moment when you come out of the theater after seeing an amazing movie. You bump into a friend in the lobby and you’re bursting with excitement and telling your friend he has to see this movie and you go on to broadly explain what is so exciting about it. If you treat everything like a pitch, then you’re constantly practicing pitching.

SS: So sometimes a studio will buy a script and sometimes they’ll buy a pitch. Why would they buy something that’s not even written yet? I mean, how do they know it’s not going to be terrible? Isn’t that a huge gamble? 

ML: First, everything in this business is a huge gamble. Second, studios never buy pitches from unknown writers.

SS: Never? 

ML: Well, I’m sure historically in the 100 plus years of Hollywood a few unknown writers got lucky and sold an idea. But I couldn’t name them and neither can you. Hollywood needs proof of execution before they buy anything from you. My first studio gig as a writer was adapting the novel TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH for Fox Searchlight, but it was a project that I pitched to them. And the only reason I was allowed in the room to pitch was because Searchlight previously read my spec script NEON JUNKIES. NEON JUNKIES ended up not selling but it got a lot of heat around town and was my proof of execution. You also have to keep in mind that was a few years ago and the market is different now, it’s much more difficult to sell a pitch these days unless you’re Zaillian or Koepp who can pretty much sell anything they sneeze on. So yeah, buying a pitch is a gamble but it’s less of a gamble when you know that writer has a track record of proven execution.

SS: Let’s say I have this AWESOME idea for a movie about snowflakes that come to life and start killing people. I have my first ever meeting with a producer tomorrow and I’m planning to pitch it. What should I expect? At what point am I expected to start pitching? 

ML: I would expect no one would buy your silly idea.

SS: No, you don’t understand. It’s really good and it has this wicked third act twist. I’m not going to give anything away but I will tell you that Santa Clause is involved. 

ML: Okay, I’ll play along… Given your scenario, we have to presume, as I said before, the producer is already a fan of your writing cause you wouldn’t even get in the room otherwise. The best pitches are the most casual ones, where you start off the meeting with small talk with the producer or executive. This is where you engage and connect with them on a personal level. It is so important for writers to think of these people as their peers and treat them as such. Producers would rather work with someone who they feel like they can have a beer with instead of working with someone who is obviously intimidated by them. The good producers don’t want a writer who is too scared to fight for what they believe in. Once you’ve made that personal connection within the first 5 minutes of your meeting, organically slide into your pitch.

SS: Okay now how long am I expected to talk about my story? Two minutes? Five minutes? 

ML: The shorter, the better. I think 5 – 10 minutes is best. One of the best pitches I heard was literally just a few sentences. Writer came in and said, “My script is a FREAKY FRIDAY type of comedy called WEEKEND WARRIOR. It’s about an out of shape football fan who switches bodies with the NFL’s greatest player.” Then suddenly, the door burst open and actors dressed like a football player, a regular guy, a gaggle of cheerleaders, and a marching band poured into my office. The band played a song while the cheerleaders danced around, and the player and regular guy threw a football back and forth. The pitch was less than 3 minutes. Great concept, lively presentation, I couldn’t wait to read the script. I was heartbroken when the script wasn’t good.

SS: So it’s okay to be gimmicky in your pitch then? It’s not looked down upon? 

ML: Execs and producers hear so many pitches that they appreciate anything that makes them more unique and fun. I remember a writer friend who pitched a Christmas movie in a Santa outfit. Can it be too gimmicky? I’m sure there’s a line somewhere that shouldn’t be crossed, but I don’t know where it is.

SS: So what’s the basic approach to the pitch? Do I just hit on the key points (inciting incident, first act turn, character arc, etc.) You’ve heard hundreds of pitches. What usually works best? 

ML: You have to start with the hook aka the concept. Coming up with a new and unique hook that is easily digestible is probably the hardest part of screenwriting.

SS: Why is it so hard? Is it because every idea under the sun has already been done? 

ML: No, that’s a cop-out. We’re fuckin’ writers, our job is to come up with new and unique ideas. I think a reason why it’s hard is because too many writers don’t truly understand what the term “high-concept” means. High concept doesn’t necessarily mean bigger. It doesn’t mean more locations and bigger action scenes. Writers have pitched me these complicated sci-fi ideas that are about parallel universes on top of warring empires on top of alien races set against intergalactic politics. High concept means a broad idea with a strong hook that poses a over-arching “what if” scenario. Like the classic example of LIAR LIAR, what if a lawyer could only tell the truth? Or JURASSIC PARK, what if we were able to clone dinosaurs? Smaller movies can be high concept as well, such as MEMENTO, what if a man suffering from short-term memory had to find his wife’s killer?

SS: And what happens when I’m finished? Do they go, “Yes, I want to buy that. Let’s do it?” Or “No, that’s not for me?” Is there some protocol that’s used? A code I have to learn like In and Out’s secret menu? Like “Sounds cool” is code for “sucky idea?” 

ML: Not every executive or producer is created equal. They all respond differently. Some maintain a poker face even if they’re over the moon about your idea. Some are too excited and give you a false impression of their interest level. Those are the ones where you leave a meeting feeling great about yourself and you’re dreaming of buying that new car until your agent calls to tell you they didn’t bite. Depending on where you are on the writer’s food change, most of them time you’re not pitching to the ultimate decision-maker. So really, the executive you’re pitching to can’t get too excited because they have to re-pitch it to their bosses. So the writer may be asked to come back and pitch a few more times as the idea climbs the ladder. You can tell if they’re interested in your pitch by the questions they ask afterwards.

SS: Like what questions? I need to know the questions! 

ML: If they’re interested, they’ll ask questions that help the writer build on the pitch. Questions like, “What if the protagonist’s original sin was B instead of A?” Or, “Maybe the third act set piece could take place in B instead of A?” Those are questions that show they’re interested enough to help improve. It’s questions like, “What makes your story any different from AVATAR?” that you don’t want.

SS: What if you’re in the middle of a pitch and you can see that the other person is bored out of their mind. What do you do then?? 

ML: The first rule to pitching is that you always have to be in control of the room. I’ll give a personal example, this is a true story: Years ago, I went in to CAA to pitch an agent. I was pitching as a producer cause the agent repped some directors I was hoping to get attached to a pair of projects. So the agent was on the phone as his assistant shuffled me into the office. I sat down on the couch as the agent gestured to me from behind his desk, indicating with his pointed index finger he’d be with me in a minute. As the agent continued talking on the phone, I noticed on his desk were a few empty Starbucks cups. In addition, I saw the agent yawn like three times while on the phone. He finally hung up, then joined me on the couch. He yawned again as he shook my hand, and I registered the low-energy of his body language. Dread slowly seeps in. I jumped into my first pitch and halfway through it, the agent yawned a few more times and his eyes were glazed. He was honestly barely taking in my words. As I continued the pitch, I noticed behind him were two framed photos on a mantle. One was a photo of him and his wife. The other photo was that of an infant. I immediately connected the dots: New born baby, not much sleep, agent’s been caffeinating all day, it’s 4pm in the afternoon and he’s crashing. The worst conditions for me to pitch in.

So I told the agent to stand up. He was startled by my request, stared at me blankly. I stood up, asked him again to get up. Hesitantly, he finally stands up and I tell him I’m going to show him this Vietnamese remedy that will keep him awake for the rest of the day. I backed up against the wall of his office and he did the same on the opposite end of the room. I told him to keep his heels to the wall and lean forward as far as he can without falling. I did so, he followed. Then I told him to take three deep breaths but on the third breath hold it in for 10 seconds. We did exactly that. Next I told him to shake his hands, then clap them together 3 times because that sends electrical pulses through your arms, to your spine, which stimulates the brain. We both clapped our hands three times very loudly. I could see his assistant staring at us through the door. I asked the agent how did he feel? His eyes popped wide open, said he felt great! I told him it’s a trick my mother taught and it never fails. So before the agent could even sit back down, I immediately jumped into my second pitch. This time the agent was fully alert, his shoulders perked, his eyes alive, he focused on my words. By the end of my pitch, he was excited about my projects, said he couldn’t wait to give them to his director clients. So here’s the thing… There is no such Vietnamese remedy. I just made that up on the spot because I had to do something to shake the agent up. I just needed him to stop yawning for five minutes while I pitched. Moral of the story: Always be in control of the room.

SS: Got it. So execs falling asleep during your pitch is not good. Boy I wish I would’ve known that one last week. So what are some of the pitfalls to watch out for when pitching? 

ML: The thing I hate the most is when writers read their pitches to me. One writer had his lengthy pitch written out in 10 pages and had them sitting on his lap. The whole time as he slogged through the pitch, I watched him flip the pages. So instead of being caught up in the story he’s pitching, I was thinking, “Oh my God, he has 8 more pages to go.” It’s okay to have notes or bullet points sitting in front of you when you pitch, but keep it to a page or a few note cards. I mean, these days you can have your notes on an iPad or Kindle. Some writers like to memorize their pitches, which is fine as long as your delivery isn’t rigid and feel too practiced.

SS: What about visuals? Should I and can I bring anything visual to the pitch? 

ML: Visuals are definitely encouraged. Especially if you’re pitching a huge concept that requires a lot of world building, like unique alien landscapes, futuristic technology, otherworldly monsters, supernatural beings, etc. Also, if you’re re-inventing iconic characters you’ll need to clearly convey what you’re going for. For example, everybody knows what THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA looks like, but if you were pitching a steampunk re-imagining of the character, you better have a way to show that. If you’re not a competent artist, hire someone to illustrate the images. It’s a worthwhile investment. And you don’t have to break the bank hiring an experienced artist. I believe here on Scriptshadow you will be offering a service where artists create concept art and such, correct?

SS: Hmmm, no comment on that one. We will have to see! Now pitching isn’t just limited to meetings. You can pitch someone anywhere. In the elevator, in passing, at lunch. It seems like the pitches in these situations are a lot more informal. So how do you approach them? I’m assuming they’re more conversational in nature? 

ML: Every pitch should be conversational in nature. But we have to be careful here. I think amateur writers, and anyone else on the outside looking in, have this romanticized notion on the culture of pitching. They think it’s like Robert Altman’s THE PLAYER where writers can sell an idea if they just get the opportunity to corner a studio exec for 5 minutes pool-side at The Standard Hotel. Yes, these things do happen because it’s Hollywood and anything can happen here (you’re talking to a guy who was discovered working at a Blockbuster by Owen Wilson), but it’s not exactly like the Wild West where roaming writers are ready to be the fastest pitch on the draw at every moment. But if you’re lucky enough to get Bruckheimer’s attention at a party or in the check out lane at Gelson’s, then go ahead and be fearless and pitch. Worst thing is he says no, but at least you’ll get a good story out of it. You should treat every pitch with the same energy, whether it’s over lunch or in the room at a studio.

SS: That’s how you landed the assistant job with Owen Wilson? I have to know more about that. And hey, we can even make it relevant, since you were essentially pitching yourself to him. So, how did that whole thing happen? 

ML: Sure, there’s actually a detailed story of it here.

SS: What was the worst pitch experience you had to endure, both as the pitcher and pitchee? 

ML: I already gave you my worst personal experience giving a pitch. But the worst experience hearing a pitch was from a really established screenwriter. I mean, this guy wrote a hit movie a few years back that held the #1 spot three weeks in a row. So when his manager called me and said he wants to pitch me an idea, of course I was excited. Writer comes in and just goes on to mumble through a 45 minute pitch. I just remember after 20 minutes, the writer said, “And that’s the end of the first act.” I almost fell off my chair.

SS: Okay so before I leave, can you give me like a checklist of the most important things I should have squared away before I go into a pitch? Sort of like a pitch kit? 

ML: Well, the process is different for everyone but to answer broadly: Make sure you have your pitch notes, any visual aid, and a notebook to jot down any questions or comments the exec/producer might have, for they may be helpful as you refine the pitch. Before the pitch meeting, pump yourself up. Whether that means listening to Eminem, gulping down a Red Bull, hitting the gym, or watching Alec Baldwin’s monologue in GLENGARY GLEN ROSS. Make it a ritual. Because if it works for you the first time, it will give a sense of comfort that it can work again, and you’ll have something in your control that improves your pitching skills and gets you in that zone.

SS: Awesome, so as long as I have you here. I have this idea for a movie. Are you ready for this? What if Robin Hood…was actually a woman? Now stay with me here– 

ML: Carson?

SS: Huh? 

ML: I have to go now.

SS: Now is this code?  Are you trying to say something here and I’m supposed to understand the subtext?

ML: Carson, I’m leaving. Good-bye.

SS: Oh, okay, no problem. We’ll talk again I’m sure. Thanks Mike! 

Mike Le is repped at APA and manager Jonathan Hung. You can follow him on his Twitter Feed @DFTVYP.

Okay, so for the last few days I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out ways to find a few more gems, find a few more Disciple Programs.  So I came up with an idea.  This Sunday, between 12:00 pm and 12:15 pm Pacific time, any writer who’s made less than 10k through screenwriting and does not have a manager or an agent, can pitch me their script IN A SINGLE TWEET.  Yes, that’s right.  You’ll have 140 characters to pitch your screenplay.  I will read the first 10 pages of my FIVE FAVORITE pitches.  Whoever has the best first 10 pages, I’ll read the entire script and review it on the site. If I really love it, I’ll pass it on to the higher-ups.  This will be a grand experiment. I have no idea what to expect.  But it should be really fun.  As someone else put it, you’ll basically have to come up with a logline for your logline. There are no rules to how you have to pitch – as long as it’s within a single Tweet. And you can only pitch me ONE IDEA. I’ll post a reminder on Friday with more detailed information.  So first, GO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.   And second, START PREPARING THOSE TWITCHES.

EDIT 3: Will probably push this back guys because it’s getting a lot bigger. Won’t happen this Sunday.  So you’ll have a little more time.  Not sure actual time frame but 2-4 weeks sounds reasonable. This should give you time to work on those scripts!

EDIT 2: Guys, this thing is going to get a lot bigger. A LOT.  I’ll keep you updated in the coming days as I start putting it together.  But needless to say, I’ll be looking to change a writer’s life. :)

It is that time of year. A time of joy. A time of hope. A time of roasting second-rate loglines. Oh, I kid. We all know, at this point, that managers who have never written a logline in their lives are responsible for the majority of the loglines we see on the Black List. My job is, simply, to cut through the muck and assess the concepts here on my annual “Assess the Black List” post.

The first thing I noticed was that they must have changed the voting system. 49 votes, if not the most votes ever for a top script, is close. It’s been a while since the top script has gotten more than 30 votes. So maybe Franklin is sending out more ballots. A see a few familiar names here – names that have been seen on the Scriptshadow site. Let’s take a look as we break down, one by one, every logline on the 2023 Black List.

Bad Boy
49 votes
Travis Braun

A rescue dog suspects his loving new owner is a serial killer.

SS Breakdown: It’s appropriate that this script finished number one because it dates back to a long line of high-ranking Black List scripts that celebrate animals in a major way. Bubbles. The Voices. The Beaver. It’ll be interesting if the writer tells the story completely from the dog’s point of view. As long as it’s nothing like that movie, Strays. Logline needs more context to fully critique but, at the very least, sounds interesting.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Stakehorse
47 votes
Justin Piasecki

A racetrack veterinarian who runs an off-the-books ER for criminals finds his practice and life in jeopardy when he’s recruited for his patient’s heist.

SS Breakdown: This was the biggest spec sale of the year, if I remember correctly, pulling in a solid 1 million buckaroos. I’ve already read and reviewed the script, which I thought was solid. I just remember it had a really fun train set piece that I hadn’t seen before. Definitely worthy of being a top 10 Black List script but the field is going to be weak if this is really number 2.

Spoiler
Jordan Rosenbloom
42 votes

After passing on a hot new screenplay, a studio executive finds himself trapped as the protagonist inside the film and must regain control before the credits roll.

SS Breakdown: We usually get one or two of these industry meta scripts a year. Most writers stop pushing themselves after they put the period after their logline. What gives me a little hope with this one is that the writer has added some irony. It isn’t the writer who’s trapped in his own script. It’s the studio exec who passed. There’s some irony there, as well as some potential to screw around the protagonist. How well *does* he know screenwriting? How closely did he pay attention to the script? If he had, he’d know how to survive. But because he didn’t, he repeatedly pays the price. Could be fun.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Head Games
Colin Liddle
25 votes

A corporate spy poses as a personal chef to the disgraced founder of a neuroprosthetics firm in order to steal his seismic-shifting new invention from his secluded villa in Greece.

SS Breakdown: An unnaturally large drop in vote differential between the number 3 and 4 scripts on the list. I’m not a fan of any logline that forces you to use a dictionary to understand it. I have no idea what neuroprosthetics is. Neither does my spell-check. So that’s not a great sign. But because I care about you guys, I looked it up. It basically is a way to improve motor-skills. There are a bit too many competing components to this logline. Not saying it means the script is bad. I’m just unclear on what this movie actually is.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Didier
24 votes
Jackson Kellard

The inspiring true story of international soccer icon Didier Drogba and his efforts to end a bloody civil war in his home country of Ivory Coast; not just with the skill of his feet, but also the power of his voice.

SS Breakdown: There may not be a worse Scriptshadow way to start a logline than, “The inspiring true story of…” It means we’re about to read a biopic logline, aka, the most uninspired loglines in the business. This one just sounds way too serious. It is the definition of a script I have no interest in reading. With that said, I get more caught up in these scripts than I think I will. So who knows? Maybe it’s good.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

High Concept
21 votes
Alex Kavutskiy & Ryan Perez

In the early 2000s, two totally opposite best friends, Mike (an uptight lawyer) and BJ (a stoner slacker), awake one morning to find that they have swapped bodies, are stuck in a time loop, and are afflicted with many other high-concept comedy premises of that era. Drawing upon their knowledge of those type of movies, Mike & BJ must learn their lesson(s) and get their lives back to normal.

SS Breakdown: This is in the running for most clever logline on the list. High concepts can be silly so why not make fun of them? With that said, I get antsy with any comedy script that features a stoner. Stoners are typically the first choice the writer comes up with. They’re so one-dimensional and the characters are so one-note, that they can be terrible choices for the script. But I love a swapped bodies time loop script. I think that’s a hilarious premise. And it’s always good to have two writers on these big comedy scripts because you need checks and balances for the jokes.

[x] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Patsy
21 votes
Filipe Coutinho

The untold and unfiltered true story of legendary country singer Patsy Cline, from her humble beginnings in Virginia to her untimely death at the height of her fame.

SS Breakdown: There are many unfiltered things I want to say about this entry but I challenged myself to say something nice. So here’s what I’ll say. SMART WRITER. I don’t care who Patsy Cline is. You don’t care who Patsy Cline is. Nobody cares who Patsy Cline is. EXCEPT one entity. The Black List. The Black List cares about every musical artist biopic that is written. The writer knew that and they took advantage of it to get on the list. Good for them.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[x] won’t read

Forbidden Fruits
20 votes
Meredith Alloway & Lily Houghton

Free People employee Apple secretly runs a witchy femme cult in the basement of the mall store after hours with fellow fruits Cherry and Fig. But when new hire Pumpkin challenges their ‘girl boss’ ways, the women are forced to face their own poisons or succumb to a bloody fate. Based on Lily Houghton’s stage play: Of The Woman Came The Beginning Of Sin And Through Her We All Die.

SS Breakdown: Did I just have a stroke? I would like to pretend like I understand this entry but, after reading it five times, I’m more confused than I was the first time I read it. It’s either about fruits that are women or women who are fruits. That much I understand. On the plus side, it’s original. And it’s not a biopic. So those are two major thumbs up from me.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Return to Sender
20 votes
Russell Goldman

When a woman experiences delivery scams that grow increasingly personal and strange, she becomes hellbent on discovering her anonymous sender.

SS Breakdown: This logline feels incomplete. I’m not sure what a “delivery scam” entails. She gets sent the wrong package? Or is this an e-mail thing? Feels like the writer needed to get in there and re-write this logline before it went out to thousands of people.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

First You Hear Them
19 votes
Sean Harrigan

A group of twenty-somethings try the ‘perfect drug’ for the first time. It’s only when they come down from the euphoric high that the hauntings begin: First you hear them. Then you see them. Then they come for you.

SS Breakdown: Okay, we’ve got a fun little horror premise here. It’s a bit simplistic but most horror films are. Talk to Me entailed clutching a hand and seeing dead people. Very simplistic and it did well. It’s nice when an idea truly comes up with something new but that’s elusive.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Foragers
19 votes
Sam Boyer

When the illegitimate daughter of a Portland billionaire goes missing, her loved ones turn to Juno and Andi, local homesteaders and members of The Foragers–a grassroots network of experts dedicated to finding the lost and bringing them home.

SS Breakdown: I like the online network sleuths who use the power of social media to solve cold cases. But this doesn’t sound like that. This sounds like a totally made-up thing. I’m not sure what “grassroots network of experts” means exactly. That’s something to keep in mind when you’re writing loglines. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to you. It only matters if it makes sense to others. On the plus side, this feels a *little bit* different than your typical “missing person” script. So that’s good.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Carousel
18 votes
Rachel Lambert
A family doctor in East Cleveland juggles his personal life, as he reconnects with an old flame, deals with his teenage daughter’s problems, and selling his family’s medical practice.

SS Breakdown: When you hear the annoying assessment that your logline is, “execution dependent,” this is exactly what they’re talking about. Nobody reads this logline and thinks, “Man, I have to read this RIGHT AWAY.” It doesn’t have a single hook within it. But, if it’s an authentic compelling character study, it could be great. This is just a really tough logline to send out there as an aspiring screenwriter. I’m guessing CAA blasted this out there with the assurance that the script was good. If you don’t have CAA in your back pocket, you need to write a flashier concept.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Hot Mess
18 votes
Shanrah Wakefield

Sandy was once a formidable investigative reporter until a bungled story destroyed her credibility and forced her into the soul-sucking world of tabloid gossip–now her days are spent covering hot mess celebrity Margot Ford. When a disillusioned Sandy is called to Fiji to follow Margot’s latest hijinks, she discovers a surprise about Margot’s real identity, which sends her on an adventure she never imagined, as the two must team up to take down a massive, sinister corporate plot with global implications, all taking place at a luxury island resort.

SS Breakdown: Poor choice of title here. “Hot Mess” is a dated term. You’d prefer to use more recent terms and phrases for your title. The script sounds okay. The Black List seems to like these stories where the protagonist is pursuing a celebrity in some way. It’s hard to tell if this is a comedy or a black comedy, which is why I wish The Black List included genres.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Hit Me, Baby
17 votes
Kurt McLeod

After Liv, a world-class hitwoman, breaks up with her boyfriend, Martin, he puts out a massive contract on his own life to get her attention. What Martin doesn’t realize is that it’s an open contract with a 48-hour expiration, so now every assassin in the western hemisphere is coming after him. Liv makes a deal to keep him safe until the contract expires, if he pays her out the full bounty. With the clock ticking, the two must eludes some of the world’s most prolific killers

SS Breakdown: Oh boy. This has way too many rules. Is way too confusing. The motivations are hard to understand unless you concentrate really hard. I’m not sure it makes sense. Putting a contact on your life to get someone to notice you. What??? I don’t get it.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Polo
17 votes
Nika Burnett

When a young woman returns home from the Navy, she joins a local water polo team and finds herself fighting a new battle.

SS Breakdown: What stuck out to me here was that the writer is repped by Rain, who seems to have a ton of scripts on the Black List. I don’t know much about them. Are they new? I have to say, this sounds like it may be up my alley. There’s something random about joining a local water polo team. Who joins water polo teams? But it also seems like the perfect subject matter to create a black comedy out of. I’m curious about this one.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Nest
17 votes
Aaron Benjamin

Confined to “the nest,” a Secret Service Sniper gets a strange call on the radio from a deranged mastermind who’s holding his family hostage in a box suite during America’s biggest game– The Super Bowl.

SS Breakdown: It’s definitely a high concept idea. I would’ve liked if the writer (or manager) clarified what “The Nest” is. I don’t know what it is and many other people won’t know either. You have to remember that as a screenwriter writing a logline – we don’t know unless you tell us. Things that are obvious to you may not be obvious to us. Personally, this feels like one of those “almost there” ideas. It’s missing that strange attractor.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

We Got Next
Aaron Goldberg, Alex Goldberg, & Michael Goldberg
The true story of how one daring executive beat the odds to launch the longest-running league in women’s sports: the WNBA.

SS Breakdown: If you’re into subject matter like this, you know who you should do a biopic on? The guy who invented The Tennis Channel, Steve Bellamy, who used to be my boss. In order to raise money, Bellamy used Google, which was less than a year old at the time, to google the richest people in the world. And then he just cold-called every single one of them until he raised all the money he needed. He didn’t know any of them. Crazy! I’m probably not going to watch any movie about the WNBA but I do think the writers were smart in recognizing that this is the ultimate Black List catnip.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[x] won’t read

10/24/02
Connor McKnight
On one rainy night in October, a man checks into the Mooncrest Motel. He never leaves. A real time, single-location thriller in the aftermath of a heist at Area 51.

SS Breakdown: Speaking of catnip, you are not going to put “Area 51” in your logline and not get me at least a little bit interested. I’m not sure you need to put the specific motel name in the logline. I’m not sure what that achieves. But I do like a heist that happens at Area 51. That allows for some high concept tomfoolery.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Profit
16 votes
Andrew Ferguson

The astonishing true story of how an unknown, evangelical Christian immigrant, Bill Hwang, suffered the greatest loss of wealth in American history, gambling away his $35 billion fortune and jeopardizing the entire financial system in under forty eight hours.

SS Breakdown: We’ve got our first seasoned Scriptshadow reader in the mix, with Andrew. Awesome to see him make the coveted list. High stakes money-centric true stories are hot right now and this sounds like a good one. I’m curious about what “gambled away” means, though. Does that mean literally gambling? Like in Vegas? Or just gambled on some bad investments? Cause losing 35 billion on craps would be the ultimate movie ever.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Better Half
15 votes
Gaelyn Golde
A codependent woman unravels when her best friend gets a boyfriend.

SS Breakdown: Extremely simple premise. Probably too simple. But the writer accurately portrays where the central conflict is going to come from so that we can imagine in the movie. “Codpenednet” is your central conflict. To understand why, imagine the logline without that word. It doesn’t read as powerfully. I’m worried this one might not have legs. But it’s one of the scripts so far that’s on my radar.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Fistmas
14 votes
Jack Waz

In order to propose to the girl of his dreams, a lovestruck guy must first survive her hometown’s annual Christmas fighting tournament.

SS Breakdown: I need my logline to give me something I understand. I’ve never heard of a “Christmas fighting tournament” before. So how am I going to invest in something that I didn’t even know existed until two minutes ago? With loglines like this, a little hand-holding is helpful. Just tell us what the tournament is. What it entails. Yeah, it will make the logline longer but clarity is more important than brevity.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Love and War and Guernica
14 votes
Sam Zvibelman

Against the backdrop of a present-day, war-torn, America, Love and War and Guernica is a dark comedy about Neil Mudd, a reporter for the Union who is suffering from writer’s block ever since his break-up, and his engaging with a mysterious horse following him through war torn Los Feliz, California. When the Union recruits Neil for a top secret mission, he and the horse go on an epic journey that, emotionally, serves as a metaphor for the war going on inside Neil’s heart.

SS Breakdown: Yikes. Okay, there’s a lot here. I like the concept of a modern day Civil War. There are obviously some The Man Who Killed Don Quixote inspirations at play. It just doesn’t sound, from this synopsis, like there’s much focus in the story. It sounds interesting but when I read this, I can’t quite imagine the movie and you need the reader to be able to see the movie in their head when they read your logline.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Getaway
14 votes
Mario Kyprianou & Becky Leigh

A couple on the brink of divorce sets off on a romantic getaway to save their marriage, but when they find that they have inexplicably traveled back in time, they decide to team up to stop their younger selves from ever getting married.

SS Breakdown: I’m a sucker for almost any idea that involves time travel. This one sounds like that George Clooney Julia Roberts movie that came out recently, except for more clever, as instead of parents trying to stop their kids from marrying, the actual couple is trying to stop themselves from marrying. That has potential.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Runner
13 votes
Tommy White & Miles Hubley

High end courier, Hank Malone, has three hours to transport a liver from LAX to a Santa Barbara hospital for immediate transplant surgery. The recipient? A dying seven-year-old girl with the rarest blood type on the planet. If only the head of the Southland’s most dangerous crime syndicate didn’t need the organ too.

SS Breakdown: Okay! I hear you Tommy and Miles. This one’s got goals, stakes, and urgency up the wazoo. Old school spec energy. Plus you’ve got a great antagonist. The conflict and obstacles are going to be off the charts. This is one of the few concepts on the list so far that sounds like a real movie – something that’s going to get made.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Masque of the Red Death
13 votes
Charlie Polinger

A grotesquely hilarious dark comedy based on Edgar Allen Poe’s short story “The Masque of the Red Death.”

SS Breakdown: I will leave this to a certain Scriptshadow commenter to assess. I don’t know anything about this short story. But you’re probably in good hands basing a story on one of the most popular literary figures in history. I just wish they’d tell us what the story was about instead of giving us the title.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Toxoplasmosis
13 votes
Andrew Nunnelly

The classic story of boy meets girl, boy loses girl… boy forms unexpected bromance with girl’s cat, who may actually be an intergalactic emissary sent to save humanity from itself.

SS Breakdown: I think cats are hilarious. I like this idea a lot actually. My only worry is that it’s a reminder of The Marvels. For those who don’t know, one of the characters on The Marvels is a cat, a cat that sounds similar to this cat. In spite of that, this one could be a sleeper.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

U.P.S.E.T.
13 votes
Ben Bolea

Two border cops in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula find themselves in the crosshairs of Canadian biker gangs, international drug cartels, and shady government agents after intercepting a drug deal gone bad–all the day after an awkward one-night stand.

SS Breakdown: I recognize Ben’s name as someone who read the blog from the beginning! So props to another unofficial Scriptshadow graduate. This one really would’ve benefited up front from a “Comedy” tag because the first part of the logline could be a serious movie. It sounds like it could be a fun movie. But Ben, come and get a logline consult. I’ll make this thing 100 times better. :)

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Untitled Missing Child
13 votes
Brenna Galvin

A mom-fluencer’s life unravels when her child goes missing and an unexpected discovery mires the investigation in a battle of perception. With buried secrets exposed, our mom is forced to take matters into her own hands, turning a simple missing person’s case into a story with twists that even the internet wouldn’t believe.

SS Breakdown: I like a great timeless concept. But, in order to stand out, it’s good to write a concept that couldn’t have been written ten years ago. That gives your idea that “fresh” angle that everyone is looking for. An ‘mom-fluencers’ are just so weird that I can’t imagine this won’t at least be interesting.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Dickens vs. Andersen
12 votes
Henry Oscar Thaler

Clumsy, awkward Hans Christian Andersen invites himself over to the country home of his idol, Charles Dickens… and overstays his welcome.

SS Breakdown: This almost feels like one of those Black List parody concepts. “You want to get on the Black List? Just write about Charles Dickens warring with another writer.” Also, Andersen isn’t nearly as well-known as Dickens so the logline is going to fall on deaf ears for some. This is going to need a lights-out execution to make up for that. It just doesn’t feel like a serious script to me.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Our House
12 votes
Will Youmans

When she wins an essay competition, Leila Moseley is brought to Capitol Hill to be honored by the United States Congress, but her luck runs out when the ceremony intersects with a violent insurrection, and she must team up with a group of aides, interns, and nepo babies to battle for survival against a legion of protesters and a secret society.

SS Breakdown: I read this title a little too quickly and initially thought it was called “Out House.” Please, I am begging the Scriptshadow faithful, for someone to write “Out House.” At the very least, write a logline. Personally, I read scripts and watch movies to escape all the negativity in the world. Even if something is dark, I’ll enjoy it if it’s entertaining. I don’t want to be reminded about politics. We’re inundated with that stuff so much. I don’t need more of it in my reading. With that said, the Black List looooooooves politics. Especially if it’s progressive. So we’ve got another smart writer here exploiting the system. And, to Will’s credit, it seems like it’s taking a comedic direction.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[x] won’t read

Our Man In Miami
12 votes
Ozzy Inguanzo

A Miami construction contractor transforms into a notorious sports agent when he hatches a high- stakes scheme to steal Fidel Castro’s most prized assets–Cuban baseball players–for the New York Yankees. Based on the wild true story.

SS Breakdown: If you’re going to do sports true stories, look for the more offbeat ones. Not the obvious ones. This feels offbeat. It feels different and compelling. Also, chalk another one up for the rising stock of the sports biopic.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Great Pretender
12 votes
Kirill Baru & Eric Zimmerman

When Tom Hanks, the nicest guy in Hollywood (and someone who looks a lot like him), gets kidnapped, his doppelgänger must step in to save him. In a world of make-believe, it’s hard to know who to trust.

(Edit) Writer e-mailed. Here’s his real logline: When Tom Hanks, the nicest guy in Hollywood (and arguably the World), finds his life stolen by a Tom Hanks impersonator, the only way to get it back is to do the one thing he’s never been able to: stop being nice.

SS Breakdown: Has anyone listened to the Dead Eyes podcast? It’s one of the craziest podcasts you’ll ever listen to. This actor had his dream destroyed when Tom Hanks vetoed him for a roll in Band of Brothers because he looked like he had “dead eyes.” This is something Hanks told to someone who told to someone else and it got back to the actor. So the actor made this entire podcast about Tom Hanks, his hero, destroying him. And, in the third season, he gets to interview Tom Hanks. This is a long-winded way of me saying, there’s potential in this idea but I’m not seeing enough of that in the logline. For example, what if the doppelgänger was actually the cruelest person on the planet? And he had to take the place of the nicest person on the planet. There’s a lot of comedy potential there.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Peasant
12 votes
Will Dunn

In the 14th Century, a lone shepherd rages against a company of mercenary knights after they ransack his peaceful peasant community, proving that he is more than he seems.

SS Breakdown: I can tell when a logline was not written by the writer. And this is that. Cause the last part of the logline completely falls off a cliff. It’s too general. We need specificity in loglines. Tell us what he does. Not an approximation of what he does. Cause this could be good but it’s hard to tell with this botched logline.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Pentester
12 votes
Jesse Quiñones

When a pentester with a perfect track record for breaching his clients’ security systems takes an unusually high-paying job, his success proves to be in vain as he finds himself in the middle of a deadly conspiracy where the only way out is forward.

SS Breakdown: A script about a pen tester? That’s an ink-redible idea. Ohhhhh! A “pentester.” Pentester. Gotcha. Wait, what the heck is a pentester? Okay, just looked it up: “A penetration test, colloquially known as a pentest or ethical hacking.” This one doesn’t get my toes wiggling. Any tech idea that could’ve been written 20 years ago is probably not the best script to write. Unless you’re doing something fresh and new that’s not evident in the logline.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Backcountry
11 votes
Kevin Sheridan

Once the future of extreme skiing, Brooks Provence is approached to ski the mountain that nearly ended his life two decades ago–this time alongside a young skier on the brink of stardom. But when disaster falls, Brooks must overcome his past and accomplish the impossible in order to save the lives of those he loves most.

SS Breakdown: I just reviewed one of Kevin’s scripts not too long ago. It was very good. I like the subject matter of “extreme skiing.” Sounds more exotic than “skiing.” These things matter in a logline. You must look for ways – any ways at all – to differentiate your idea from the competition. Since I liked Colors of Authority I’ll definitely check this one out.

Screenplay Review – Colors of Authority

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Blood Rush
11 votes
Andrew Ferguson

In response to a mysterious rise in Miami gang violence, a meticulous FBI agent gets recruited by a covert operations unit, only to discover the enemy they are fighting may not be human.

SS Breakdown: Ferguson with his second script on the list. He’s got my attention with this one. I would like some clarity, however, on what “not human” means. It could be monsters. It could be aliens. Whichever one it is will increase or decrease my excitement for this script.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Last Resort
11 votes
Laura Stoltz

When a grieving woman takes a trip to a posh, Icelandic resort designed to assist its guests with ending their lives, she meets people who finally force her to accept the things she cannot explain.

SS Breakdown: Suicide scripts are a slippery slope. They’re hard characters to get audiences on board with cause they’re so depressing and their goal is such a sad one. But I like the Icelandic resort development. That tells me there could be some exotic creative choices somewhere down the line.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Sea Dogs
11 votes
Josh Woolf

After two down-on-their-luck lobster fishermen botch a hijacking attempt on the high seas, they are forced to confront the consequences of their actions as they struggle to navigate a world they no longer recognize.

SS Breakdown: Another strong beginning to the logline. I like the specificity of “lobster fisherman.” When I say “I like the specificity” of that, what I mean is, I don’t read a lot of scripts about lobster fishermen. It’s a new world with new rules I get to learn and experience. Readers enjoy that. They don’t enjoy the same thing over and over again. They want new. But the second half of the logline doesn’t even make sense. Did Chat GPT write this? By the way, where are all the AI concepts? You’d think writers would be all over that. ZERO representation on this one, by the way. Which raises my interest a notch (it’s much harder to get votes as an unrepped writer since no one is pushing your script around town. Therefore, it is more likely that the script is good, since it is being passed around organically).

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Crowd
11 votes
Jack Heller

In a claustrophobic race against time, a woman must unravel the mystery behind a malevolent crowd before she succumbs to their relentless pursuit.

SS Breakdown: This is another one of the few longlines on this list that feels like it could actually be a movie. Crowds are scary in certain situations. Yet I never would’ve thought to write a horror movie about them. Good on this writer for identifying this as an idea. One of the better concepts on the list.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Final Score
11 votes
Will Hettinger

Two FBI agents are pitted against a crew of bank robbers–and each other–as they grapple with order and chaos inside their own department and home lives.

SS Breakdown: Wow, this is waaaaaay too vague to assess. I’m assuming there’s a movie here. It’s one of the only scripts with an actual production company behind it (Jerry Bruckheimer). Kaplan and Perrone are good at assessing talent I know. But this is a generic soup of a logline.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent (need more info)
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Light At The End
11 votes
Arun Croll

When a solar event fills the sky with endless light that kills everything it touches, a young woman must find a way to escape the house where she is trapped with a doomsday cultist.

SS Breakdown: Heeeeey! It’s Arun Croll! Arun was one of my five finalists in The Last Great Screenplay Contest with his script about the Japanese act of rope bondage where everyone is tied up and someone comes to rob the place. Fun script. Good writer. Timely topic with this latest one, as well. There’s some weird hole opening up in the sun. Very happy for Arun.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Wolf in Chiefs Clothing
11 votes
Adam Christopher Best

A lovable loser from a family of criminals becomes the Kansas City Chiefs’ most famous superfan. His newfound status is expensive, so he teams up with his imaginary friend–an anthropomorphic version of the team’s wolf mascot–and goes on a bank-robbing spree.

SS Breakdown: Believe it or not, this is actually a true story. I heard about this a little while a go. This dude who’s OBSESSED with the Chiefs and became their most photographed fan because he was always wearing these crazy outfits to the game, was secretly a bank robber. This could be funny if they do it right.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

What’s My Age Again
11 votes
Jackson Kellard

The true story of Kansas teenager Jack Bergeson’s meteoric rise and fall after he discovered a loophole in the state’s constitution that allowed him to run for governor, inciting a statewide youth movement that changed politics forever.

SS Breakdown: I don’t get it. I thought anyone could run for governor. There are age limits? If we’re going to write a movie about some shocking act, the act has to actually be shocking, right? But it just goes to show that “true story” really does give your pitch more weight. If you look at the value of a script on a 1-10 scale, “based on a true story” kicks it up an extra notch or two. Not for me. But for Hollywood.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Chaperones
10 votes
Sarah Rothschild

A single dad tries to bond with his teenage daughter by chaperoning her field trip, only to have to save the world (and possibly her virginity) when an ancient evil is unleashed.

SS Breakdown: I laughed when I read this only because I have no idea what it means. Ancient evils are running around high schools trying to steal girl’s virginities? I need a face here. I need to be able to imagine who the antagonist is. A vague allusion to “evil” actively makes your logline worse. SPECIFICS PEOPLE! SPECIFICS!

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Personal Best
10 votes
Ryan Hoang Williams

Based on the true story of James Hogue, a talented student and long-distance runner who was admitted to Princeton University under the false identity of “Alexi Indris-Santana”–an orphaned, self-educated, teenage ranch hand.

SS Breakdown: Hey man. Everyone knows the Ivy League school selection process is rigged so you know what? Good for James Hogue. And good for true life sports stories which are giving musical artist biopics a run for their money on the Black List.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Last Tower
10 votes
Aaron Sala

When a disaster strikes, a family is trapped in their high-rise Miami hotel. With danger closing in fast, they’re left with only one way to go: Up.

SS Breakdown: What’s the disaster? That’s so pivotal in making this a good idea or an average idea. Either way, I’ve always liked ideas contained in high rises, especially where you’re forced to go up. Because up is a contradiction. You save yourself now but the further up you go, the further from safety you are. This is another “movie” idea. Lots of these scripts on the Black List are screenplays only. They’re not cinematic enough. This is.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Undying
10 votes
Ben Ketai

A woman, suffocated by motherhood, has an affair with a man she hasn’t seen since high school– only to discover he has been dead for years.

SS Breakdown: What strikes me about this one is that it’s an old-as-time idea. Yet no one has figured it out yet. Here’s the logline for the 2004 Topher Grace movie, “P.S.” – An unfulfilled divorced woman gets the chance to relive her past when she meets a young man who appears to be her high school sweetheart who died many years before. — Same exact idea right? But that movie realizes that, after you get past the hook where is there to go? It’s a muddled narrative no matter how you look at it. But Netflix and hot production company, 21 Laps, are making this. I suppose because it is a buzzy concept that will get people to click. Especially if you put Jenna Ortega in it!

Beyond the Grave
9 votes
Maximiliano Hernández

Three people at different points of the immigrant experience come together when the mother of a 10-year-old musical prodigy is arrested in an ICE raid.

SS Breakdown: Giving me some “Babel” vibes. Can definitely see why this made the Black List. A serious concept about immigration is pretty much guaranteed to get you near the landing strip. This feels like one of those multi-storyline ensemble scripts that are heavily execution-dependent.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Blasphemous
9 votes
Luke Piotrowski

An inexperienced priest and a charismatic possessed woman form a dark and dangerous bond while on the run from sinister forces within the Catholic Church.

SS Breakdown: How bout we turn this into a romantic comedy and call it, “Separation of Church and Date.” Thank you. I’ll be here all night. This sounds like one of those okay movies. It’s difficult coming up with a movie idea because movies like this one DO GET MADE. Cause it does have a bit of a hook. But they’re not catchy enough to get readers excited to read them. I wish this had one more element to put it over the top.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Boy Fall From The Sky
9 votes
Hunter Toro

An anxious playwright finds himself tangled in a web of deceit, injury, and intellectual property as he adapts his first Broadway musical, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. Inspired by a true story.

SS Breakdown: Best writer name of the lot so far. Who’s going to forget the name “Hunter Toro?” I know I never will. Also, a writer’s best friend: Inspired by a true story. It’s every writer’s secret way to get that ‘based on a true story’ cred while completely making something up. I’ll read any writer-centric story so I’m in.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Die Fast
9 votes
Julian Meiojas

Following a severe, soon to be fatal, brain injury during a violent attack, an NYPD sergeant embarks on a harrowing journey of vengeance, which leaves her only a few hours of adrenaline-bursting consciousness to hunt down those who took her daughter and killed her husband before she dies.

SS Breakdown: If Scott had his own Black List, I’m pretty sure this script would take up the first ten slots. It’s a fairly common idea but the goals, stakes, and urgency are so high that why wouldn’t you read it? You’ll probably finish in half an hour.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Down Came The Rain
9 votes
Katie Found

When a woman gives birth to a spider, she begins to question her unraveling reality and the psychological and arachnid horrors of postpartum motherhood.

SS Breakdown: It’s getting late and I’m getting loopy. So another concept change suggestion. Change the title to “Blame it on the Rain,” and base it on two spiders with the heads of Milli Vanilli. I would definitely watch that. In all seriousness, I feel like I’ve read this script in several different iterations. It’s not my jam, my jelly, my vegemite, or my Nutella.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

If I Had Your Face
9 votes
Ran Ran Wang

When Jo’s best friend, Rina starts dating a white man, she begins transforming into something different: a white woman. Through it all, Jo can’t seem to convince anyone that there is cause for concern. But when three unidentifiable white women turn up dead, Jo realizes that they had all been Asian women who dated the same man, and now that he has Rina in his sights, it’s up to Jo to save her before she becomes his next victim.

SS Breakdown: I’ve read this logline three times now and I’m pretty sure I lost 17 IQ points doing so. Considering I was barely above 100 to begin with, that means I’m officially in double-digits. My dream of becoming a member of Mensa is dying by the minute. This one doesn’t just need a logline rewrite, it needs a logline intervention.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[x] won’t read

Immune
9 votes
Daniel Persitz

The story of Dr. Maurice Hilleman, the brilliant father of modern vaccines, who by deftly negotiating corporate politics, prevented a deadly pandemic and created the groundbreaking vaccines for measles, mumps, rubella, chicken pox and many others that still save eight million lives a year worldwide.

SS Breakdown: I suppose that if you want to get attention, being political and highlighting controversial subject matter is a good strategy. It’s just not the type of script I’m interested in. I need an entertaining component to the story. Let’s not forget this is called the entertainment industry. Not the Let’s Remind You Of What Everyone Is Complaining About On Twitter Industry.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[x] won’t read

Kazan
9 votes
Chris Parizo

The story of the tumultuous relationship between Arthur Miller and Elia Kazan–born out of the success of DEATH OF A SALESMAN and destroyed when Elia Kazan named names to the House Committee on Un-American Activities, resulting in two of the greatest works of the 20th century: THE CRUCIBLE and ON THE WATERFRONT.

SS Breakdown: Am I being punked right now? This had to have been generated by the Black List AI, which Franklin Leonard has, without question, created in secret. I have no idea if this script is any good. It may be amazing. But this is the paradox of the Black List. The scripts that are guaranteed to get you on the list are the exact same scripts that everyone in the industry makes fun of. If Chris hadn’t written this script, Black List AI would have.

Palette
9 votes
Zack Strauss

A woman who discovers she is suffering from severe synesthesia gets recruited into the secretive, cult-like industry of color design by a mysterious corporation but then uncovers the bloody, dark, and twisted reality of what it really takes to make the world’s next great hues.

SS Breakdown: This one sounds wild and original. All writers take note! This is how you come up with a unique concept. One of the best on the list easily.

[x] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Nowhere Game
9 votes
Alex Pototsky

Two young women are kidnapped, brought deep into the woods, given a head start, and then hunted down by their sadistic captor all for the pleasure of the online fans of “The Nowhere Game.”

SS Breakdown: Human hunting is always entertaining fare in the book and movie world. The question is, have you come up with an original version of the idea? This isn’t giving me that, at least from the logline they provided. I get submitted a lot of concepts like this one. But you have to give the writer credit for coming up with an actual movie idea. Something someone would buy and turn into a movie and make money off of.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Ferocious
8 votes
Mark Bloom

A team of financially desperate hotel employees embark on a deadly treasure hunt to recover priceless diamonds from a wrecked yacht in the middle of “The Red Triangle,” the world’s most dangerous hunting ground for great white sharks.

SS Breakdown: Marc Bloom DEFINITELY reads Scriptshadow. He knows that when you bring sharks into the sand box, everyone in school shows up to play! There are a few too many things going on in this logline but it still sounds exciting. And another movie idea! Two in a row!

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Lure
8 votes
Nick Tassoni

When a park ranger ventures into the wilderness to find a missing hiker before a storm, she finds herself lured into the woods by a dangerous, unearthly predator mimicking her dead daughter.

SS Breakdown: Lost in the woods. I just did a consult on a lost in the woods script. There’s something universal about getting lost that gives ideas such as this one a big potential audience. But they always come back to the monster. Is the monster cool? Is the monster interesting? We don’t know yet. But it is a solid setup for a movie.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Roses
8 votes
Evan Twohy

A married man takes his girlfriend on a romantic getaway to a villa. There is a swimming pool.

SS Breakdown: This reminds me of one of my favorite screenplays, “Lamp.” I remember the logline like it was yesterday. “A man buys a lamp and goes home then watches TV.” The midpoint twist of the power going out was, to this day, one of the most enjoyable twists I’ve ever experienced.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to (need more info)
[ ] won’t read

Sundown
8 votes
Nick Hurwitch

Monsters that roam in daylight keep a small, rural family confined to a nocturnal lifestyle. But when their son starts to question the monsters’ existence, his parents must see how far they’re willing to go to keep him safe.

SS Breakdown: I know there are monsters in this one. I’m not sure if the monsters are the main characters or the antagonists. I’m going to reserve judgment in the meantime. But even with this vague logline, just by including monsters, the writer makes their script more marketable than 75% of the loglines on this list.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Adults in the Room
8 votes
Jake Disch

On November 1, 2022, FTX was valued at $32 billion. On November 11, 2022, it filed for bankruptcy. This is the incredible true story of the meteoric rise and catastrophic fall of FTX and its enigmatic founder, Sam Bankman-Fried.

SS Breakdown: We all knew this one was coming. Again, these true-story high stakes financial concepts are all the rage right now. Google “richest people ever” or “biggest companies to fall” and you can have your high stakes financial script prepped and ready to send out in six months.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

The Stratford Wife
8 votes
Sarah E. Sinclair

Anne Hathaway, a rebellious woman who has a way with words, weds William Shakespeare, an aspiring actor ten years her junior. They form a plan to sell her plays anonymously. But when William travels to London, Anne is stunned to learn he takes all the credit for himself, leaving her to forever live in the shadow of the greatest playwright to ever live.

SS Breakdown: My brain just officially broke. This sounds like one of those weird fan fiction stories on the Dark Web’s version of Reddit. The kind where half the pages cover the lustful exploits of Anne and William. To the writer’s credit, I could not have come up with this idea if you gave me a million chances.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[x] won’t read

Woodwork
8 votes
Abiel Bruhn

While settling his mother’s estate, awkward loner James reunites with his long-lost brother Rob who oozes wealth, charm, and confidence–but the chance encounter leads to a twisted game of wits and violence.

SS Breakdown: I like the title. I’m too loopy to be able to explain why. I like the contrast between the brothers. Good old fashioned sibling rivalry is always ripe for some drama. Can’t really tell if this is a good idea until I know what the twisted game is. That’s the whole movie right there. If that’s cool, you’ve got a script. If not, you don’t.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

8 Habits of Highly Murderous People
7 votes
Michael Boyle

Psychologist Dr. Martin Park specializes in working with clients trying to curtail extreme violent urges. However, when a series of brutally murdered bodies are discovered in his small New England hometown, it’s up to Martin to figure out which of his patients is responsible.

SS Breakdown: Provocative title. Serial killers always sell tickets. So, marketable. I’m wondering if this commenter is Brian Michael Boyle’s long lost brother. Which would make this really meta, considering that it came right after Woodwork. Are Michael and Brian Michael about to get into a twisted game of wits and violence?

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

American Dreams
7 votes
Tricia Lee & Corey Brown

In the not-so-distant future, an Asian-American woman works at a company where you can hire people to write your dreams. When one of her clients mysteriously dies, she realizes that those who have the power to write your dreams, also have the power to write your nightmares.

SS Breakdown: High concept idea here. In my experience, however, these are tricky scripts to write unless you come up with a clear direction. The reason that one of the best movie setups ever – Flatliners – didn’t work was because it didn’t have a clear direction after the hook. This feels sort of like that but it may just be the way the logline is written.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Blow up the Chat
7 votes
Amos Vernon & Nunzio Randazzo

When their embarrassing, sometimes filthy, possibly cancellable group chat falls into the wrong hands, a group of dudes must go on a madcap scavenger hunt around town to appease a mysterious blackmailer.

SS Breakdown: Okay, this actually sounds kinda good. Because it’s saying something about society and doing it in an entertaining way. There’s this belief in the world that anything you’ve said at any point in your private life is cancellable. But when we’re in safe spaces talking to people privately, we’re more honest, we’re less afraid to offend. And so the idea that that chat could get out into the world and screw up the rest of your life – those are high stakes for such a small idea. Good title too.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Boxman
7 votes
Adam Yorke

After a botched bank heist leaves nineteen people locked inside a state-of-the-art vault, the FBI recruits the world’s foremost box-man from federal prison so he can break them out before they suffocate inside.

SS Breakdown: Wow, 19 people is a lot! I would’ve gone with between 5-8. It’s hard to keep track of that many people. Unless people start getting shot and killed. Either way, we’ve got a contained location. Cool idea. Marketable. I think we’ve got another elusive Black List movie on our hands.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Displacement
7 votes
Chiara Atik

What’s worse than a cruise? Being a twenty-seven-year-old single woman chaperoning your ninety something grandparents on one, right after a crippling break-up.

SS Breakdown: Cruises have the potential to be great setups for movies, especially if there’s a dark component to your idea. Because you have automatic irony. Cruises are supposed to be heaven. Yet for the character, they’re hell. So I like that about the idea. It’s not clear if there are only old people on this cruise though. Because that changes the idea. Gotta give us the full information if you want us to be able to envision the movie.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Harness
7 votes
Leigh Janiak

In the violent world of underground horse racing, a wannabe female jockey and her trainer brother- in-law become entangled in an illicit relationship full of blood, sweat, and sex that pushes the limits of their bodies and the law.

SS Breakdown: I’m not sure what’s going on here but I like it. Underground horse racing is something I’ve never heard of. But it sounds intriguing. Blood sweat and sex tells me this is going to be dark. I like that. I don’t love gender-swapping for the sake of gender-swapping. But a female jockey feels fresh in this context. I’m in.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Mole People
7 votes
Nathan Elston

When an unhoused teen turns up brutally murdered, his estranged brother searches for answers in the underworld of New York City and uncovers a series of horrifying crimes hiding deep in the abandoned subway systems.

SS Breakdown: You lost me with the PC Olympics treatment of the word “homeless.” I’ll tell you why. It denotes a writer who is careful not to offend. And you cannot write anything of substance without offending someone. It’s impossible. So if that’s the place you’re writing from – a place of fear – I know I’m going to read a script full of super safe choices. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something good that played it super safe the whole way through.

Old Time Hockey
7 votes
Kevin Jakubowski

A forty-three-year-old snowplow driver decides to get his high school hockey team back together to play a state championship game.

SS Breakdown: I’m inclined to love this solely because my Chicago brethren Polish brother has written it. I also love these “get the band back together” comedy concepts. There’s potential baked into that setup.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

People Walk Dogs Late At Night In The Suburbs
7 votes
Drake Wootton

A charming high school math teacher-about to be a father-comes up with a plan to course correct his life after having an affair with his student.

SS Breakdown: This one takes you through a rollercoaster, doesn’t it? The title seems innocent enough. So does the first half of the logline. Then it’s like, “Holy crap! This just got serious!” The teacher-student relationship has been one of the more reliable conflicts in fictional storytelling so there’s no reason to stop writing about it now. In fact, now’s probably the best time to write about it since people aren’t expecting it as much. Poor Things worked, in part, because it crossed a lot of lines you didn’t expect due to the fact that so many people over these last few years are playing it safe in fear of offending.

[ ] must read
[x] curious
[ ] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Please Come Back
7 votes
Mike George

A young couple who perform rituals to raise people from the dead get more than they bargained for when they attempt to re-animate a young girl who doesn’t remember how she died.

SS Breakdown: Speaking of Poor Things! Another reanimation concept. This is another idea that doesn’t give us enough info. I would need to know how she died to be able to tell if this was a good idea or not.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Propel
7 votes
Jeremy Marwick

A commercial diver fights to survive after a boating accident leaves her for dead underwater.

SS Breakdown: Being stuck underwater is the setup for a life-harrowing situation with goals, stakes, and urgency. But is there enough here for a movie? At least with Whalefall, we were in a moving whale! Here, it feels like we’re just stuck in the underside of some boat or something.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[x] decent
[ ] if I have to
[ ] won’t read

Unnie
7 votes
Lynn Yu

In the cutthroat world of K-POP, a group’s debut is threatened when someone begins to violently attack its members.

SS Breakdown: There may not be a topic in the world I know less about than K-Pop. With that said, A LOT OF PEOPLE LOVE K-POP. So there’s an audience out there if you like this subject matter. And I do love stories that highlight the irony of these worlds. They look fun and happy on the outside. But inside, they’re ugly and dangerous. If this script focuses on that, it could work.

[ ] must read
[ ] curious
[ ] decent
[x] if I have to
[ ] won’t read