I want to thank everyone for their thoughts on 300 Years yesterday. One of the great things I’ve learned through Scriptshadow is how important it is to listen to feedback, and you guys all had a lot of great feedback. I’m sure Peter’s going to be addressing a lot of these problems in the next draft. And maybe I’ll actually officially review the script in the new year.
In the meantime, Book Release Week continues! Yesterday I gave you advice from the masterpiece that is the Fargo screenplay. Tuesday I gave you some gangbusters tips from Pirates of the Caribbean. And let’s not forget Monday, where I dropped a snippet from the first chapter of the book dealing with structure. Those first few chapters may be the secret sauce of the book, as they go into unlimited “pre-tips” dealing with dialogue, character, stakes, obstacles, theme, subtext, as well as everyone’s biggest fear – the dreaded second act. So if you haven’t picked up the book already, you better be broke, homeless or both. I’ll let these excuses slide for awhile, but not for long! :)
People also keep asking when the book is going to be available in hard copy (soft cover). This should happen within the next 2-5 weeks. I’m going to try and get it up by the end of the year but that’ll be pushing it. The truth is, you shouldn’t wait that long. Even if you don’t have a kindle, you can download the free “Kindle App” here and read it right from your computer – no Kindle or Ipad required! So, read some kick-ass tips from the greatest romantic comedy of all time today, then go buy the book where you get 49 other movies and 490 other tips to take your screenwriting to the next level.
Excerpt from Scriptshadow Secrets…
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
Written by: Nora Ephron
Premise: A story that follows the unique friendship of Harry and Sally, two New Yorkers blind to the fact that they’re meant for each other.
About: When Harry Met Sally may be the greatest romantic comedy ever written, but it’s also the Pulp Fiction of its genre. While the average fan thinks this is a standard rom-com, it’s actually anything but. Dramatic structure is thrown out the window. Story takes a back seat to non-stop dialogue. The characters, in particular Harry, spend half the movie dishing out observational monologues. You could argue that When Harry Met Sally is basically one long Seinfeld episode. Yet, while most movies would buckle under a paper-thin story, When Harry Met Sally thrives. The main reason for this is that the dialogue is amazing. It’s a reminder that no matter how many rules you break, if you can do one thing perfectly, it can cover up a lot of problems.
TIP 379 – The Romantic Comedy Equation – All Romantic Comedies scripts should pass one simple test: “We love the guy. We love the girl. We want them to be together.” As long as you have that going for you, it’s hard to mess up a rom-com.
TIP 380 – A ticking time bomb isn’t necessary, just recommended – When Harry Met Sally is proof that not every story needs a ticking time bomb. I prefer them because they create urgency, and urgency ups the stakes, which ups the conflict, which ups the drama. And drama is the backbone of entertainment! So then why does When Harry Met Sally work without one? Well, in my opinion, it’s because the dialogue and main characters are the best EVER in their genre. If that wasn’t the case, I promise you the lack of urgency would’ve been a much bigger issue. So ditch urgency if you want, but only if you plan on the rest of your screenplay being perfect.
TIP 381 – The bait and switch – This scene almost always works. Convince the audience that they know where the scene is going, then pull the rug out from under them at the last second. There’s a scene early on where Sally, whose new boyfriend drops her off at the airport, spots Harry, whom she hasn’t seen since their drive to New York. The two spot each other and we’re thinking, “Oh man, they recognize each other! What’s going to happen now??” Harry finally comes over. Sally looks agonizingly nervous. BUT, instead of addressing Sally, Harry turns to and addresses the boyfriend. It turns out they know each other. The old bait and switch is a surefire way to charm a reader.
TIP 382 – LIKABILITY ALERT – Harry is kind of a jerk. He sleeps with a bunch of women, he’s arrogant, and he’s inappropriate. So it’s important we give him a strong likability moment. At the Giants game, Harry is devastated after learning that his wife has been sleeping with another man and never loved him. Getting dumped is ALWAYS going to create sympathy from the audience because everybody can relate to how awful it feels to be left by someone they care about (kick the owner!).
TIP 383 – Quirks help distinguish a character – In rom-coms, you need little quirky traits that annunciate a character’s personality. One of the reasons Sally is the most memorable romantic comedy character ever is because of how she orders food, addressing every single mundane detail. If she doesn’t have that quirk, she loses a big part of her character. Do your romantic comedy characters have any quirks?
TIP 384 – POWER TIP – Look for dialogue scenes that conflict with your characters’ surroundings – This is one of the best ways to make a dialogue scene pop. Harry tells his best friend the depressing story of his wife leaving him…at a Giants game! This occurs amongst 60,000 happy, cheering fans. The contrast between the setting and the story is what makes the scene so great. We see this contrast again later, but flipped around, when Sally has an orgasm inside a restaurant. Then we see it a third time when Harry meets his ex-wife while singing karaoke at The Sharper Image store.
TIP 385 – Going against character for a laugh – You can pull this off once per script, but that’s it. The reason the famous Sally orgasm scene is so memorable is because we’d never expect it from the uptight Sally. This scene wouldn’t be nearly as funny if, say, Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind did it, because we’d expect it from her. So go against character for a big laugh, but only do it once. If you do it more than that, people start getting confused.
TIP 386 – If you have your characters running to the airport in the climax of your romantic comedy, do me a favor and join them, then never come back to screenwriting again – A lot of romantic comedies get stuck with this ending because it’s an easy place to end the story, with someone leaving. To avoid this problem, set up an important location for your characters earlier in the script. This will allow you to end your movie in the location of your choosing. It’s established several times in When Harry Met Sally that these two get together at New Year’s Eve parties. Therefore, at the end of the film, it’s fitting that he runs to her at a New Year’s Eve party.
TIP 387 – Avoid saying “I love you” in romantic comedies if at all possible – The words “I love you” in movies are the equivalent of saying “Ca ca poo poo.” They have no meaning whatsoever because they’ve been said a billion times before. Instead, look for clever ways your characters can say the words without really saying them. In When Harry Met Sally, Sally says, “I hate you,” in the final scene, even though we know she means the opposite.
TIP 388 – Eavesdroppable – A good way to measure the quality of your dialogue is to pretend you’re a third party standing near your characters while they talk. Is what they’re saying interesting enough that you’d want to keep eavesdropping? If the answer is no, the dialogue probably isn’t very good. Make your dialogue eavesdroppable.
TIP 389 – Dialogue kicks ass when you come in late and leave early – One of the reasons the dialogue is so good in this movie is that in every single scene, we come into the scene late and leave the scene early. When you do this, you avoid giving us the unimportant parts of the conversation. A great example is the Giants game I mentioned above. We come in right when Harry’s friend asks Harry about the divorce. We don’t start back in the parking lot or while they were getting drinks. We start RIGHT WHEN the most interesting part of their conversation begins. And guess what? The scene ENDS as soon as that topic of conversation is over. We don’t listen to them continue chatting about the greatest football teams of all time. Once they’re done talking about Harry’s divorce, the scene is done.
Oh MAN! What a tease. Today I was supposed to review 300 Years. However, I’ve been receiving some predictable backlash for doing so, with people claiming that I’m stacking the deck and trying to get it onto the Black List with a glowing review. And that I can’t be objective since I’m a producer on it, even though the reason I became a producer on it was that I read it and loved it. Anyway, I’m going to postpone the review until the new year, some time after the Black List is released, and we’ll travel 300 Years into the future then. Feel free to still discuss it in the comments, since I know a lot of you have read it, and I’ll join in when I can.
The good news is, I’m posting MORE GREAT ADVICE with another chapter from the book. Yesterday I gave you tips from “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Today, I’m giving you a screenwriting Academy award winner with the Coen Brothers’ “Fargo,” one of the best written scripts of all time. What I liked about this script was that it bucked a lot of conventional rules and still worked. As I discuss in the book, you need to break a few rules in every script you write in order to make it stand out. If you like this breakdown, remember there are FORTY-NINE other movies broken down just like this one. And while it’s only available in e-book at the moment, you can download the free “Kindle App” here so you can read it right from your computer – no Kindle or Ipad required! So, read today’s excerpt and then go buy the book!
Excerpt from Scriptshadow Secrets…
FARGO
Written by: Joel and Ethan Cohen
Premise: When a sleazy car salesman has his own wife kidnapped in order to extort her rich father, the plan backfires in every way possible.
About: Fargo is allegedly based on a true story. When you base your screenplay on a true story (or make that claim), you have what I call the “this really happened” advantage. If you go off on a random tangent, the audience goes with you. If something’s too coincidental, the audience still goes with you. They assume that no matter how unconventional or unstructured the story, it’s okay because “this is how it really happened.” Try to pull the same thing off in a fictional piece and audiences start crying foul because, “it would never happen that way in real life!” It’s a strange dichotomy, but true. I think that’s why Fargo is such an interesting screenplay. It makes some really strange choices (our protagonist, Marge, doesn’t arrive until page 30!) and yet you just kind of go with it because “that’s how it really happened.” Despite these weird choices, there are still LOTS of nuts and bolts storytelling lessons to learn from this Oscar-winning script. The Coens may be nuts, but boy do they know how to write!
TIP 179 – POWER TIP – Desperate characters are always fascinating because desperate people HAVE TO ACT. They HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. If they stand still, they’re dead. Jerry Lundegaard is in so much debt, has stolen so many cars, owes so much money, that he HAS TO ACT. And that desperation is what leads to every cool moment in the film. Nothing can happen without Jerry’s desperation. So if you want excitement, make your character desperate.
TIP 180 – URGENCY ALERT – Here, the urgency comes from Marge investigating the case. She’s closing in on Jerry, which squeezes him into accelerating the plan. The Coens use people chasing their protagonists in almost all of their movies, which is why their movies always seem to move so well.
TIP 181 – For some great conflict, place your characters in an environment that is their opposite – So, if you’ve written a vegetarian character, you don’t want her big scene to happen at Vegan Hut. You want it to happen at a butcher shop! Conflict emerges naturally from these scenarios. In Fargo’s opening scene, the buttoned up Jerry Lundegaard walks into a seedy dive bar. It’s the last place he’d go, which is why it’s a perfect place to put him.
TIP 182 – The Pre-Agitator – A great way to ignite a scene is to inject it with conflict before it starts. So in the opening scene of Fargo, Jerry meets with Carl and Gaear to discuss the details of kidnapping his wife. Before Jerry can say a word, Carl points out that he was supposed to be here at “seven-fucking-thirty.” No, Jerry insists, Shep set it up for “eight-thirty.” Carl shoots back that they were told seven-thirty. Before we’ve even gotten to the meeting, there’s a cloud of conflict and frustration in the air due to our bad guys having had to wait an hour. Had the scene not begun with this misunderstanding, it wouldn’t have been nearly as good.
TIP 183 – DRAMATIC IRONY ALERT – In the above scene, we learn that Jerry’s going to have his wife kidnapped and demand ransom from her father. Note the scene that follows. Jerry gets home to find both his wife and her father there, the very people he’s deceiving. What would’ve been an average dinner scene becomes thick with subtext because WE KNOW (dramatic irony) what Jerry’s planning to do to these two.
TIP 184 – CONFLICT ALERT – The relationships in this movie are packed with conflict. Jerry isn’t close with his wife. Jerry’s son doesn’t respect Jerry. Jerry’s father-in-law doesn’t like Jerry. Jerry doesn’t like him either. Carl (Steve Buschemi) doesn’t like his partner. Gaear doesn’t like him either. Even the lesser relationships have conflict, such as Shep not liking Jerry or Jerry getting into it with customers. The only one who doesn’t have any conflict in her life is Marge, which is probably why she comes off as such a hero.
TIP 185 – SCENE-AGITATOR – When Jerry comes in to his father-in-law’s office to pitch his parking lot plan, the father-in-law and his right-hand man have set up the office so that there’s nowhere for Jerry to sit during the meeting. This forces Jerry to squat awkwardly on a sideways chair, throwing off his game just enough to affect his pitch. A small but brilliant scene-agitator!
TIP 186 – What would the Coens do? – If you have a scene or section of your script that feels boring, I’m going to give you a great tip. Ask yourself, “What would the Coens do?” The Coens rarely make an obvious choice. They treat clichés like cancer, and so should you. Let me give you an example: after Jerry comes home and “learns” his wife has been kidnapped, he calls his father-in-law to tell him. I want you to think about how you’d write this scene. I’ll give you a second. Finished? Okay, here’s why the Coens are different: We’re in another room, listening to Jerry call Wade (the father-in-law): “…Wade, it’s Jerry, I – We gotta talk, Wade, it’s terrible…” Then we inexplicably hear him start over again, “Yah, Wade, I – it’s Jerry, I…” It’s only once we dolly into the room that we realize Jerry is practicing. He hasn’t called Wade yet. At the end of the scene, Jerry picks up the phone, calls Wade, and we cut to black. We never hear the actual call. That’s a non-cliché scene if there ever was one and it’s the reason you need to start asking yourself this question when you run into trouble: “What would the Coens do?”
TIP 187 – Hit your hero from all sides – The more directions you attack your hero from, the more entertaining his journey will be. Take note of all the sides pushing in on Jerry here. The father-in-law wants in on the negotiations with the kidnappers (who can’t be involved because Jerry’s lied to them about the amount of money he’s demanding). The kidnappers themselves are demanding more money. The car manufacturer is demanding VIN numbers on the cars Jerry’s illegally sold. Marge is bugging Jerry about missing cars on his lot. When you bombard your character from all sides, you create LOTS OF DRAMA. And when you have lots of drama, scenes tend to write themselves.
TIP 188 – The most basic tool to make a scene interesting – The easiest way to make a scene interesting is to have two people want different things out of the scene. This creates conflict, which leads to drama, which leads to entertainment. In one of the more notorious (and talked about) scenes in Fargo, Marge meets up with her old high school friend, Mike Yanagita. In the scene, his goal is to hook up with Marge. Marge’s goal, on the other hand, is to reconnect with an old friend. This is why, even though the scene is arguably the least important in the film, it’s still entertaining, because both people in the scene want something completely different.
SCRIPTSHADOW BOOK RELEASE WEEK CONTINUES!!! If you haven’t purchased the book yet, what is wrong with you?? What? You say you don’t have a Kindle or an Ipad to read the ebook on? No problem! Just download the Kindle App and you can read it right there on your computer or phone. Writers have been keeping the book open on one half of their screens with their script open on the other and going to Scriptshadow Secrets whenever they run into trouble. They read through a few movies, get some ideas, then jump right back into their script. Best strategy ever? I think so.
Yesterday I gave you a peek at the “How To Write A Screenplay” chapter. Today, I’m going to give you a look at one of the movies I break down, “Pirates of the Caribbean.” If you like this, remember, there are FORTY-NINE other movies broken down just like this one. A cornucopia of tips/lessons/secrets packed into the greatest screenwriting book ever written. Okay, so there might be some hyperbole there and I’m a little biased. But what I DO KNOW, without question, is that this book will make you a better screenwriter. That much I can assure you. So, read today’s excerpt and then go buy the book!
Excerpt from Scriptshadow Secrets…
THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
Written by: Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio (based on a story by Elliot & Rossio and Stuart Beattie and Jay Wolpert)
Premise: A young blacksmith must team with an infamous pirate, “Captain Jack Sparrow,” to save the love of his life, who’s being held by a band of undead pirates.
About: What’s interesting about this film is that during its development stages it was considered anything but a guaranteed hit. The last half-dozen pirate films had plunged to the ocean floor faster than the Titanic, and pretty much anyone writing a pirate spec was labeled a lunatic. Well, that is until the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise made over three billion dollars at the box office. This taught me that there’s no such thing as a “dead genre.” It might be dormant. It might be in a slump. But nothing’s ever completely dead. So if you want to break out with a big hit, look to resuscitate dormant genres and sub-genres. For example, it’s been awhile since Frankenstein was updated. It’s been awhile since a good submarine flick has come out. The trick is figuring out when these genres are ripe for a comeback.
TIP 68 – LIKABILITY ALERT – Jack Sparrow is selfish, conniving and untrustworthy. Therefore he needs a big “likable” moment so that we root for him. To achieve this, the writers go with the tried and true “save someone’s life” scene. But here’s why they’re making a million bucks and you’re not (yet). It wasn’t just anyone Jack was saving. It was someone we knew and adored – Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightly). The added weight of saving a pre-established character (who we liked) guaranteed we’d like Jack. Had it been some nameless damsel in distress, we probably wouldn’t have found the moment that powerful.
TIP 69 – LIKABILITY ALERT 2 – Have the bad guys condemn your hero for a good deed – This is such a great way to get us to love a character. We’ve just watched Jack Sparrow save someone’s life. And how is he rewarded? By being told he’ll be hanged! That’s not fair! An audience will always root for people who get screwed. Cameron used this exact same device in Titanic. Jack saves Rose from falling off the boat, then nearly gets arrested for it. We see it in Jerry Maguire as well. Jerry tries to change his company for the better with a mission statement. As a result, he gets fired.
TIP 70 – The power of the MacGuffin – In any big adventure movie, it’s great to have something that everybody wants, a “MacGuffin.” If there’s something everybody wants, then all of your characters will be active in pursuing it. Here, it’s the gold coin. In Star Wars, it’s R2-D2 (who’s carrying the stolen Death Star plans). In Raiders Of The Lost Ark, it’s the Ark. Remember, action-adventure films need a lot of action and adventure and an easy way to achieve this is to have everybody chasing a MacGuffin.
TIP 71 – Nobody answers questions the same way – An easy way to improve your dialogue is to make sure each character has their own vocabulary and unique way of speaking. For example, when our villain asks Jack Sparrow if he’s made himself clear, Jack doesn’t say, “Yes.” He says, “Inescapably.” Ask Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys the same question and he might have said, “Fuck you!” To get the hang of this, ask your five biggest characters a question (i.e. ”How are you feeling today?”). Each character should answer differently.
TIP 72 – The essence of a character description – Although it’s not required, I find that some of the best character descriptions ignore physical traits and focus instead on the character’s essence. For example, Norrington (the man who wants to marry Elizabeth) is described as “Royal Navy to the core.” Another character is described as “born old.” Notice that these descriptions don’t detail any physical traits (i.e. “wrinkled forehead and tired eyes”), yet we still have a great visual of them.
TIP 73 – MIDPOINT SHIFT – Pirates has a great and memorable midpoint shift. We learn that all the pirates are ghosts!
TIP 74 – Use underlining in screenwriting like you would a close-up in a movie – Underlining in scripts is used to tell the reader that this here is important, so remember it for later. Keep in mind that readers read fast, oftentimes skimming through action paragraphs. So if you have something important you don’t want them to miss, it’s a good idea to underline it. On page 41, we see this underlined: “Where they enter the moonlight, Koehler’s wrist and hand are skeletal.” It’s an important detail, hence the underline. Just remember to use underlining sparingly or else it loses its effect. It’s only used about five times in Pirates.
TIP 75 – POWER TIP – Are your characters “dialogue-friendly?” – Try as you may, try as you might, you’re always limited to the vocabulary and personality of the characters you’ve created. Will (Orlando Bloom) is never going to say anything that interesting. He’s not that kind of character. Jack, on the other hand, has something interesting/funny/witty/weird to say every time he opens his mouth. That’s why almost all dialogue scenes with Jack jump off the page. He’s “dialogue friendly.” If the dialogue in your script sucks, you may want to see if you have enough “dialogue-friendly” characters.
TIP 76 – Replace your cliché character trait with an unexpected character trait – Whenever you create a character, try to give him at least one trait that goes against what you’d normally expect from that character. Jack Sparrow, for example, is a pirate. We have many preconceived notions about pirates. They’re mean. They’re nasty. They’re rude. Jack, on the other hand, is bumbling, goofy, and awkward. That’s so…not pirate-y, which is why it’s so genius. It makes Jack’s character unique. This is one of the quickest ways to create a memorable character, so use it often!
TIP 77 – “A character who wants something badly and is having trouble getting it.” – If your story ever gets boring, if it’s ever in need of a seeing eye dog, go back to the above mantra. Take a look at Pirates. That credo is what makes the entire movie work. Jack Sparrow comes to town to get a boat but he has trouble getting it. Jack and Will try to save Elizabeth, but they have trouble saving her. The pirates attempt to end the curse, but they have trouble ending it. If you don’t have characters that want something badly, but are having trouble getting it, you probably don’t have a movie.
TIP 78 – If a character doesn’t have a flaw, give him something from his past he’s trying to resolve – Not every major character has a fatal flaw, but every major character should have something they’re trying to resolve before the story is over. An unresolved issue from one’s past is a nice substitute for a fatal flaw. Here, Will must come to terms with the fact that his father was a member of the very people he despises the most: pirates.
Hello everyone. First of all, I want to thank everybody who congratulated me on the New York Times article. I’m hosting a friend this week and therefore haven’t really had the time to process it all. It’s funny because I don’t read the New York Times. And you know how even if something is huge, if it’s not a part of your personal day to day life, you don’t hold it in the same high regard as everyone else? So, as crazy as it sounds, I didn’t think much of it. But then when all my New York friends and older friends and family (my older brethren have read the Times forever) found out, they were all like, “This is a really huge deal!” I was like, “It is?” So it’s hitting me a little harder this morning than it did over the weekend and now that it’s settling in, I’m very thankful for it. And once again, it wouldn’t have been possible without all of your support. So thank you to everyone who reads Scriptshadow, even the haters! This would not be possible without you.
Now, this week is going to be a little different. Why? Because it’s SCRIPTSHADOW BOOK RELEASE WEEK!!! Some of you may have noticed that the book ad on the upper right-hand side has been changed from “Coming Soon” to “Buy now.” You can click that picture or click right here and you’ll be taken to Amazon where you can buy a copy of the e-book. Many of you have been asking me, “When can I get the book in physical form?” Unfortunately, paperback copies of the book won’t be available for another 1-2 months. We’ll get there. It’s just going to take some time.
So what’s the book about? Well, I basically took the most popular aspect of the site – the “What I learned” section – and applied that philosophy to an entire book. So I took movies like Raiders of The Lost Ark, The Social Network, and The 40 Year-Old Virgin (50 movies in all) and broke down 10 things I learned from each, which translates into 500 screenwriting lessons/tips/tools. I also wrote the book because that’s how I personally learn best, through example, so I always wished there had been a screenwriting book out there that taught solely through example. Well, now there is!
Now for those pounding your fists due to the fact that there will be no reviews this week, hold tight. This is Scriptshadow. I can’t go through an entire week without reviewing SOMETHING. So Wednesday is going to be realllly special. I’m reviewing 300 Years! This is a script I found from an unknown writer up in San Francisco named Peter Hirschmann, who’s not only super talented, but a really great guy. I loved the script so much, I asked to come on as producer, and we’re currently doing a rewrite before we go out to directors. In the spirit of Scriptshadow, I would LOVE to hear your feedback on it. There are a couple of places we feel it can be improved, so we’re open to ideas. If you want to read it, contact me at carsonreeves1@gmail.com with the subject line “300 YEARS.”
And now, it’s time. The following is a small excerpt from the first chapter of my book, “Scriptshadow Secrets,” available in E-book format from Amazon. This opening section prepares you for the movie-tip section by introducing the basics of writing a screenplay. Tomorrow, we’ll delve into some actual tips. Enjoy! (p.s. Because I’m performing hosting duties all week, I’m not going to be as quick with moderation. So, sorry if your comment gets stuck. I will do my best to get them up as soon as possible).
Excerpt from Scriptshadow Secrets…
(edit: People have been asking if they need an ipad or Kindle to read the book. The answer is no. You just need to download the Kindle Reader to your PC and you can read it right from your computer. Download the Kindle App here).
STRUCTURE
Whenever you write a screenplay, you’re telling a story. A lot of writers forget this, and it’s funny because we tell stories every day. When you have a few beers with your buddies and share how you asked the intern out? You’re telling a story! When you replay the amazing three-run homer your son hit at T-ball? You’re telling a story! When you’re giving your professor an excuse for why you didn’t finish your homework? You’re telling a story! A screenplay is just another venue to tell a story.
In order to tell an entertaining story, though, one that’s going to keep your audience on the edge of their seats, you need to understand structure. Structure places the key moments of your story in the spots where they’ll create the most dramatic impact. Ignore structure, and your story will have no rhythm, no balance. It might be front-loaded or back-loaded, choppy or unfocused. For example, in the story about your son’s three-run homer, if you jump straight to the home run, your story will be short and anti-climactic. With good structure, you set the stage for that home run over time, leading to an exciting climax.
The structure you’ll be using for almost all of your scripts is the 3-Act Structure. Don’t be intimidated by its fancy moniker. All it means is that there are three phases to your story: a “Beginning,” a “Middle,” and an “End.” Or, if you want to take the training wheels off, a “Setup,” some “Conflict,” and a “Resolution.” If you’re going to write screenplays, then you’ll be writing 90-120 pages of story contained within this basic 3-Act format.
ACT 1 (20-30 pages long)
Act 1 sets up your hero and then throws a problem at him. That problem will propel him into the heart of the story. Let’s say our story is about a guy desperate to ask out a beautiful intern who works at his office. To start your story, you might show your hero staring longingly at the intern from afar. He may even text his buddy: “No more messing around. I’m asking her to the Christmas party this weekend!” Soon after, you’ll write what most screenwriters refer to as the “inciting incident,” which is a fancy way of saying, the “problem.” A great example of an inciting incident happens in the movie Shrek, when the fairy tale creatures move into Shrek’s swamp. This is the “problem” to which Shrek needs to find a solution. In our story, it might be when our office dude learns that it’s the intern’s last day at work! In other words, this is his last chance to ask her out!
This inevitably leads to our hero having to make a choice. Does he stick with his old life (never taking any chances) or man up and go for the goal (ask her out)? Well, we wouldn’t have a movie if the hero stayed put, so your character always goes after the goal. In Shrek, this moment occurs when Lord Farquand tells Shrek that if he rescues the princess, he can have his swamp back. In our office story, it might be as simple as Office Dude deciding he’s going to ask Gorgeous Intern out today. He knows she always makes copies at 11 o’clock. So he spiffs himself up and heads to the copier room.
ACT 2 (50-60 pages long)
A lot of people get confused by Act 2, so let me remind you of its nickname: “Conflict.” Act 2 is the act where all the resistance happens in your story. Your hero will encounter arguments, setbacks, physical battles, insecurities, broken relationships, obstacles, their past, the protective best friend, killers, guns, car chases, and 80-foot lizards – basically, anything that makes it harder for them to achieve their goal. The more things you throw at your character, the more conflict he’ll experience. And conflict is what makes your story fun to read!
In addition to this, every roadblock, every obstacle, every setback, should escalate in difficulty. Start small and keep building. In our office story, maybe our office character stops outside the copy room, takes a deep breath, checks his reflection in the window, practices the big question a couple of times, then opens the door. He finds Gorgeous Intern, but, lo and behold, she’s talking to Sammy the Office Stud, who has her doubled over with laughter. Oh snap! Obstacle encountered!
Pages 55-60 in your script are referred to as the “mid-point.” The mid-point is important because it’s where your story changes direction. Whatever the first half of your story was about, the mid-point will shift it in a slightly different direction. By doing this, you keep the story fresh. So in our office story, maybe the midpoint is the fire alarm going off, forcing everybody to evacuate the building. This will place the second half of your story in a new environment – outside. If you want to use a real movie example, the midpoint of The Godfather is when Michael kills the Captain and Sollozzo at the restaurant. There are a million different scenarios you can write for your mid-point, but something needs to happen to give the second-half of your screenplay a slightly different feel from the first-half. Otherwise, the reader will get borrrrrrr-ed.
The pages after the mid-point and before the third act, form what I call the “Screenwriting Bermuda Triangle.” It’s where most screenplays go to die. What often happens is that writers run out of ideas in the second act and start scribbling down a bunch of filler scenes until they can get to the climax. Filler scenes are script-killers and will destroy everything you’ve worked so hard for.
If you follow proper structure, however, you should be able to navigate the Bermuda Triangle. After the mid-point, keep upping the stakes of your story. Make the problems bigger and more difficult for your character. In our office story, maybe it’s freezing outside, so everyone is pissed-off when the fire alarm sounds. To make things worse, the gorgeous intern is now cuddling up with Sammy the Office Stud to stay warm. That’s when the boss hits us with a bombshell: if they can’t get back inside within the next 20 minutes, he’s calling it a day. Ahhhh! Our hero now has 20 minutes to ask Gorgeous Intern out or lose her forever!
As the pages tick away in this section, so too should the attainability of your character’s goal. The closer we get to the climax, the more dim your hero’s chances of achieving his goal should get. In our office story, perhaps a car splashes water over our hero’s suit, destroying his appearance. Or even worse, a rumor spreads that the company is downsizing next week and his job is on the chopping block. It looks like all hope is lost. This is often referred to as your hero’s lowest point and will signify the end of the second act. We might even see Sammy the Office Stud nudge Gorgeous Intern towards his car where they can “warm up,” as our hero watches on hopelessly .
ACT 3 (20-30 pages)
The final act of your screenplay is really about your hero’s inner transformation, which is complicated, so we’ll discuss it later in more detail. In short, after your hero reaches his “lowest point,” he’ll experience a rebirth, finally realizing the error of his ways. If he’s selfish, he’ll see the value of selflessness. If he’s fearful, he’ll find the strength to be brave. He won’t have completely transformed yet, but this realization will give him the confidence to go after the girl or take on the villain or look for the treasure one last time.
In our office story, our hero realizes that his whole life has been a series of missed opportunities because he’s been afraid to take chances. I call this the “epiphany moment” and it signifies that your hero is ready to take action. Our office hero straightens up, barges through the group, CHARGES after Gorgeous Intern, spins her around, and plants a big wet one on her. She, Sammy the Office Stud, and all the coworkers stare at our hero in shock. He can’t believe it either. He’s done it! He’s won over the girl of his dreams! That is, until – CRACK – a hand smacks him across the face. “Asshole!” the intern shouts, grabbing Sammy the Office Stud and stomping off. Our hero stands there, alone, and watches her leave. The End. Hey, I never said this story had a happy ending!
Now, it’s important to remember that this is the most basic way to tell a story: a beginning, a middle, and an end. But as you’ll see over the course of this book, movies have taken this basic template and mutated it into hundreds of different variations. For example, there are movies where the hero doesn’t have a goal. There are movies where the story’s told out of order. There are movies where there isn’t a traditional main character. These are all advanced techniques and before you attempt them, you need to know the basics. We’ve just reviewed the basics of structure. Now let’s take a look at the basics of storytelling.
Can a screenplay from a New Zealander prove this week’s Scriptshadow theme wrong? Or do I still stick by my guns and say: “Stay away from quirky character pieces when writing a spec?”
Amateur Friday Submission Process: To submit your script for an Amateur Review, send in a PDF of your script, a PDF of the first ten pages of your script, your title, genre, logline, and finally, why I should read your script. Use my submission address please: Carsonreeves3@gmail.com. Your script and “first ten” will be posted. If you’re nervous about the effect of a bad review, feel free to use an alias name and/or title. It’s a good idea to resubmit every couple of weeks so your submission stays near the top.
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Premise: When a simplistic man meets a simplistic woman on the internet, wedding bells start ringing. But when he finds out his crazy ex-girlfriend not only still has, but has since lost his engagement ring, he must team up with her to find it.
About: This script was written by a New Zealander! And I think he’s going to be making the movie himself. He was curious to see how the script would play to an American audience.
Writer: Michael Dunigan
Details: 104 pages
Anne Hathaway for Roxy?
It’s funny this script showed up when it did, because it fits in nicely with the week’s theme – writing a character-driven indie spec. Actually, there’s a little more of a hook going on here, and you could argue this is also, if not solely, a romantic comedy. But it seems to have its roots firmly in the indie world, and it has a ton of quirkiness, something I’ve taken to task in this week’s article.
I actually got an e-mail from the writer saying he was scared of my review now because of my recent quirky-bashing. So I just wanted to clarify something. I have no problem with quirkiness IF it serves the story. It’s only when it’s used to serve its own purpose that I have an issue. For example, if a character wears a kilt just because the writer wants him to, I’m rolling my eyes. But if he just moved to the U.S. from rural Ireland and hasn’t purchased any American clothes yet, then it makes sense. So was the quirkiness in “The Very Last Girl” justified? Or was it just for its own sake? Time to find out.
Owen Marley is one straight-laced dude. This is not the kind of guy who’s going to dance on tables at a party. He’s the guy next door who gets irritated by all the noise coming from the party. So it makes sense that he’s searching for his next girlfriend online. And lo and behold, he finds her. Her name is Laura and while she’s pretty, she’s kind of morbid and depressing, obsessed with the meaningless of existence. Perfect for Owen! The first date is a smashing success, even though it looks to us like the two are having the most boring time in the world. They apparently enjoy this kind of (non) activity.
A few days later, Owen pops the question, and the two prepare to head into wedding bliss. But it turns out that Owen’s ex-girlfriend still has his engagement ring, which has been in his family for generations. Asking any ex-girlfriend for a ring back is going to be awkward, but asking this girl is going to be particularly difficult. That’s because Roxy, Owen’s ex, is psychotic. Don’t let her day job (a school teacher) fool you. She’s like a six year old on crack. Oh, and she no longer has the engagement ring.
BUT she thinks she knows where it is and tells Owen that if he wants it, he’ll have to join her to get it. So the two go riding around town, descending down manholes and hunting down local metal hunting enthusiasts in search of the ring, at one point running into a dangerous biker gang, who end up kidnapping Owen’s fiance. Along the way, Owen starts to realize that maybe Roxy isn’t as bad as he thought she was. And with fiance Laura starting to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome from her female biker captor, Owen probably doesn’t have any choice but to like Roxy anyway. But when Roxy throws a horrifying last second revelation at Owen, will the former love-birds be able to recover? Or will Owen find himself back at the starting gate, alone once again?
So what did I think of The Very Last Girl? Here’s how I determine my level of like (or dislike) for a script. Would I recommend it to anyone? Would I pass it on to a friend and tell them to read it? And if the answer is “no,” why is it “no?” I wouldn’t recommend this one and here’s why. There’s something too predictable about it. Too familiar. Even with all its quirkiness, I felt like I’ve seen this movie before, and nothing new was brought to the table. Typically, I hate being 20-30 pages ahead of a script, and that turned out to be the case here. Now I was 20-30 pages ahead of St. Vincent De Van Nuys as well, but the difference was that those characters were all unique and deep and compelling. These characters never really went below surface level.
Take Vincent from “St. Vincent,” for example. He had this whole backstory with being a war hero and having a wife who’s since been lost to Alzheimer’s. Maybe that was my issue with “Last Girl.” The characters didn’t have any backstories. They were defined by their present traits only. Roxy was weird. Laura was morbid. Owen was boring. I’m not even sure what the backstory between Owen and Roxy was. If it was stated, I missed it, but I was constantly trying to figure out why the two had been together. They were such different people. I know opposites attract but I would’ve liked to know specifically why they attracted.
Then again, I started to get a little skimmy after the midpoint, so I may have missed some details. That’s what writers sometimes forget. If a script isn’t catching a reader’s interest, their mind starts to drift. They can’t help it. If you’re not interesting them, they’re going to stop paying attention. And I’m not saying it was super bad in “Last Girl’s” case, but there were a few times where a couple of pages went by and I was like, “Whoa, I don’t remember what I just read.” If I’m giving notes, I’ll go back and read those pages. But if I’m just reading a script? Those pages get lost forever.
Another issue I had was that our main character, Owen, was boring (sorry, I can’t think of a nicer way to put it). This was somewhat offset by Roxy being so crazy, but having a boring main character is tough, even if you’re going the “protagonist as straight man” route. Not to keep bringing up “St. Vincent De Van Nuys,” but look at the main character in that script. He’s a drunk asshole who always says what’s on his mind and refuses to open up to anyone. Plus he had all that backstory. That guy was interesting! Even if you want to argue that the little kid was the main character, HE was interesting. He was adopted. He was super smart. He was weird – different from all the other kids. Owen existed almost invisibly throughout this script.
On the plus side, the story had a clear objective and therefore the characters were always moving towards something. That kept them active. There was also clear conflict between the two leads, Owen and Roxy, which kept their conversations exciting, even if that conflict was a little forced.
I’m not sure if there was a ticking time bomb (was the wedding tomorrow? I can’t remember). But even if there was, there were no true stakes attached to Owen achieving his goal. Laura was going to marry this guy no matter what (before the Stockholm Syndrome) so you got the feeling that even if he didn’t find the ring, they were going to be just fine. I remember with The Hangover, you knew that if these guys didn’t find the groom, they were going to be in some deeeeeeep shit. I never got that feeling here. And that’s important. If we don’t feel the stakes of the objective, how can we be invested in the story?
So this one didn’t quite do it for me. Moving forward, I’d make Owen more interesting and I’d also build more backstory into the characters. That’s what’s missing the most, in my opinion. The characters just aren’t deep enough. They have these surface level quirks, but I don’t feel their history, what’s going on inside of them, enough. You fix that and you’ll fix a lot of this script’s problems. I wish the best of luck to Michael!
Script link: The Very Last Girl
[ ] Wait for the rewrite
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: If I can’t remember one distinct trait about a character, then that character hasn’t been developed enough. I can’t think of one distinct trait about Owen. And this is the character taking us through this story! Make sure that your key characters all have at least one distinct memorable interesting trait about them.
